


Poetically Paralyzed

by Grelle



Category: Fallout 4
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-17
Updated: 2018-07-15
Packaged: 2018-09-18 02:29:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 20
Words: 136,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9361904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Grelle/pseuds/Grelle
Summary: Lydia has no memory of her past prior to a month before waking in the wasteland of the Commonwealth. Uncertain of what to do or where to go, she begins to wander aimlessly until having a chance encounter with a vicious group of raiders that chase her into a community called Goodneighbor, where she meets a certain charismatic mayor.Warning: Graphic violence, adult themes, alcohol and drug use.





	1. Lone Wanderer

"According to my intel there's a large number of greenskins hold up in a tower about a block from here. We should let them come to us, they'll be easy pickings since there's only one way in." A tall woman with half shaved ginger hair said, standing in the mouth of the alley that lead into the rest of the settlement of _Goodneighbor._ In front of her was a man of equal height, wearing a red frock coat, US flag around his waist and a tri-fold hat atop his head. He was a ghoulish sight, ghastly in the best lighting, but carried himself with all the charisma and authority of his title. "Yeah, maybe. Lets just keep tabs on them for now."

Behind the mayor was an open area that served as a welcoming place for new comers, a couple of shops in the building immediately across from the small door that lead in and out of the settlement. It was quiet today, not many out and about due to the cloudy weather, everyone was expecting rain. In the distance gunshots could be heard, not that it drew much attention from those in _Goodneighbor_ , they were used to the constant noise of fighting beyond their walls. Something slammed pretty hard into the metal door, making at least three of the people present turn to look. The Mayor looking a little grim, prepared for a fight if that was what was coming, though he didn't show it by his relaxed demeanor.

A few more gunshots and then the door burst open, small figure stumbling in, turning wildly and slamming the door shut. They had there back to the area, unaware of the eyes on them. Even from across the way in the dim evening light, the two in the alley could make out a few details of the new comer. Like, for one, they were probably only 5'5" and second, had shoulder length raven black hair that was a bit messy and curled here and there. Third was the fact they were clearly injured, their right arm hanging limply, blood dripping from thin finger tips.

After a few moments the raven backed away from the door, seeming to feel sure that whoever was after them was not going to continue the chase. Turning around, hazy blue eyes took in the area, looking guarded. The mayor couldn't help the smirk on his lips, it was a girl, probably in her twenties. _'She's cute.'_ He thought, leaning against the state house wall, watching the girl venture farther into his town. But the smile on those lips turned slowly into a frown when a man, Finn, one of his own, walked up to the girl with that shit eating grin and an air of a completely arrogant asshole.

"Hey, hey, ya can't just go walkin' around this town without a little...insurance, ya hear me?" Finn was a tough looking guy, wearing dirty leathers, head shaved, cigarette in hand. He was intimidating even to the braver folk in town. The girl jerked a little, looking up at the man, stepping back to gain a bit more distance since he had just walked up on her. "Excuse me?" Her voice was barely above a whisper and held a rhythmic quality, like music, maybe she sang as a past time? "Don't act dumb, doll. I'm talking about protection, y'know, to prevent accidents. Big, bloody, accidents that might befall a pretty little thing like you."

Pursing full lips, she moved to walk past him, "I'm fine, thanks." But he shot a hand out to stop the raven, only to find the muzzle of her shotgun pressed into his chin a second later, before he could even blink. "Whoa, there girly, relax. I'm only tryin' to help ya."

"Finn, lay off that extortion crap. Anyone is welcome in _Goodneighbor_." The girl looked up, seeing the ghoulish man in red coming toward them, lowering her shotgun slowly. The slightest tremble in her fingers that held the heavy weapon, eyes following the ghoul now speaking, stepping back a foot or two. "Your going soft Hancock, you let just anyone walk through that door and one of these days there's going to be a new mayor." Finn bite out, glaring at the man who gave a mock hurt look, smiling in a way that said he was not at all happy. "Come on Finn, you hurt my feelings. No love for your mayor?"

Hancock reached a hand out, as if to give Finn a one armed hug, like he wasn't going to hold a grudge over the pretty clear lack of confidence in the charismatic ghoul. Finn moved toward him, seeming to trust the other man, but before he could react his guts spilled out onto the cobblestones. The mayor jerked the knife across the others stomach, blood splashing across his arm and staining his hands, stabbing the man a few more times for good measure before stepping back. Finn crumpled to the ground, no longer breathing. Hazy blue eyes watched the pool of crimson spreading in the twilight, before lifting her gaze to this man named Hancock. Uncertain what to think, say or even feel about the whole scene. "Now don't let this little experience ruin the good reputation of our little community. _Goodneighbor_ is _'For the people, By the people'_ ya feel me?" He smiled at her, wiping the blood from the knife and hand on the dead body at their feet, before straightening with a smile directed at her, holding a bit of cockiness in the way he presented himself.

"Yeah...I feel you." She replied softly, looking around them a moment, before meeting his black eyes once more. "I'm looking for work." She told him, not sure why she just blurted it out, but it was true. Being that she was broke, with only the cloths on her back and the shotgun in her hand, which she had nicked off a corpse. No food or even a means to get medical help, she was pretty desperate. Hancock laughed a little, the sound rough, but somehow pleasant. "You get right to the point huh? Well I'm sure someone here would be glad for some help, I can't think of anything right off the top of my head, but your welcome to ask around."

The raven nodded, black hair bouncing a little with the motion, a 'thank you' falling softly from her lips before she wandered away from him. Hancock watched her, or rather the trail of blood droplets that followed her, frowning a little. "You should really get that looked at." He called out, seeing her look back at him in surprise, before glancing at her shoulder. He couldn't see her expression, but she nodded in acknowledgment. Hancock couldn't help feeling like the girl was completely lost, and not just in the way she didn't know where she was, but like she didn't know how to act or even what to do with herself.

* * *

 

The raven girl wandered around the settlement for some time, asking around about a possible job. The hunt gave her one promising lead at least, one of the machine gun toting watchmen patroling informed her that a man named Kent was looking for someone to help him with something, the guy couldn't tell her what. But it was something. She also asked around about a doctor, but found out the only one in town was not the kind of doctor that could per say help her, the woman was some kind of head doctor apparently.

Well after dark she wandered into the _Memory Den_ , which was where she was told Kent would be, running his radio station out of a side room there. The inside of the building was dim, a comfortable sort of dim. Not too dark or overly bright. The place smelled of age and floral perfume, mixed with a hint of oil and metal. This too was oddly pleasant the girl decided, looking around at the old posters on the walls as she came into a large room with strange looking pod-like things.

"We aren't taking new costumers sugar, sorry." A woman's voice cut through the silence, making the raven jump a little, startled. She felt a little foolish, having been distracted and not noticing the woman at all before. It was a petite woman in red, with blonde hair done up neatly on her head. "N-No...I was looking for someone named Kent, I was told he needed help with a job of some kind." The raven bit the inside of her mouth, wishing she sounded and felt more confident, but that was hard when one didn't even know their own name.

The girl didn't know anything about her past, before a month ago, when she had woken on the river bank in the middle of this crumbling city. With only the clothes on her back  and nothing more. She had struggled up to this point to even survive, the only hint she even had to her past was the little wrist computer, _Pip-Boy_ , she had been wearing. Which was now in the bag around her waist, the clasp on it broken after a run in with some vicious dogs, preventing her from wearing it. It hadn't provided much information, it seemed all the files on it had been corrupted by the water and radiation in the river or something.

"Hey, are you alright, sugar?" The woman's voice brought her from her thoughts, making her look up, blinking in surprise. The raven blurted out an apology, rubbing her sore arm, which was sticky from the dried blood on it. The wound had at least stopped bleeding, but her arm still hurt pretty badly. "Hmm...Kent's through there, your welcome to go on in."

Nodding, the girl moved to the right side of the room, opening an old wooden door, the hinges creaking a bit. On the other side was a small room, another of those pods, a couch, bed, table and chair. A small radio was playing what sounded like an old radio play, the room decorated in aged posters of some kind of comic book hero and cardboard cut outs of gangsters with guns. In the chair by the table was a ghoul, small fellow wearing a tan suit and a fedora. "Hey Irma, is my lounger ready-? Oh, your not Irma..." Kent lifted his head, his eyes were a gentle, bloodshot blue.

"No...I'm not...um...I heard you were looking for someone for a job?" The raven asked hesitantly, she didn't really know why she was nervous, this guy seemed nice enough and wasn't exactly threatening. Hell he was half her height and probably weighed far less too, and she was small. Watching the way he looked a little more excited by her words, "Oh yeah!? You must have heard me over the radio!"

"No...Sorry, someone outside told me you had a job..."

"Oh...well, _Goodneighbor's_ crazy. Theft, m-murders, worse. Sometimes you just gotta escape a little to make it through the day. Y'know?"

The raven frowned, wondering what he was getting at, "Escape?" She tilted her head a little, black strands falling into her face, shadowing hazy blue eyes. "Yeah. You ever listen to the _Silver Shroud?_ That's who we need, no matter how bleak things got, he saved the day." Kent continued, a glimmer of hope and excitement in his eyes. He reminded her of a little kid talking about super hero's, which is sort of what he was doing wasn't it? "I...I never listened to it, but I do have this comic I read a week or two ago. He does seem like a pretty strong hero." She replied, pulling the comic she had found while hiding in an old building a while back. It was titled _'The Silver Shroud and the Mechanist.'_

"Oh yeah! Let me see that?" Handing the comic to Kent, she watched with a slight smile as he gushed over the tattered old thing, flipping through it a little. "Y-You can keep it if you want..." She stammered a little, mentally slapping herself, she needed to be confident! "Are you sure...? Ah, thanks!" Kent grinned, like a kid who got the exact thing he wanted for Christmas. The raven couldn't resist the smile that crossed her face, seeing him so happy. "Say what's your name?" And then the smile was gone, replaced by a look of worry as hazy blue eyes looked away, ringing her hands a little. "I-I...well...I kind of don't...remember."

"What? Really? Like you have amnesia?" He asked in surprise, eyes wide and curious. She only nodded, not looking up, she nervously cleared her throat. "Look, about that job...?" Changing the subject felt like a good idea, they were getting off track and it was making the raven very uncomfortable. "Oh, right! What if the _Silver Shroud_ was real? With his black trench coat and gleaming silver submachine gun? I got a plan to bring him to life, to fight bad guys and give the rest of us a symbol of something better!"

The idea sounded interesting, it would be nice to know someone was out there fighting those monsters and the horrible raiders running around hurting innocent people. "I just have to do something y'know? I built my own custom machine gun and everything, better than the one in the show! But to make this work I still need the most important piece...The genuine _Silver Shroud_ costume herself! And they actually got one here in Boston, they made it for the TV show. Will you help me get it?"

The raven thought it over, it sounded easy enough, but then again nothing in her life had been easy so far. None the less she was desperate for money, she needed food and a place to stay too. Not to mention medical attention...So this was her only hope at the moment. Helping a comic fanatic achieve his wild dream. "Alright, I'll get it for you." She replied at last, smiling a little at the way Kent did a small dance in his chair, "You will?! Great! It's at the old Hubris Comic's store near _Park Street_ station." He gave her some instructions on how to get there, even marked it on her _Pip-Boy_ after she showed him the map on it.

She moved to leave, ready to do the job and get it over with, but Kent stopped her, grabbing her wrist as she turned. "Your not going now are you? It's really late and dangerous going anywhere in the city at night..." She looked away from him, biting her lip, not really sure what to say to him. She knew it was dangerous, but she had no where to really go and she didn't want to sleep on a bench somewhere, that seemed worse than wandering around in the dark. "You should go to the Hotel Rexford, they got rooms and its cheap." He told her smiling brightly, letting go of her, not saying anything else as she walked out.

Heaving a sigh, she hung her head a bit, leaving the _Memory Den_. Outside it had turned rather cold, the air was damp and a chilly wind blew by. Shuddering, the raven hugged herself, wincing at the stabbing pain from her shoulder. Kent was probably right, she shouldn't try to go get the costume now. But where should she go? She couldn't afford food, let alone a room at a hotel. It was moments like this that made her wonder if she was cursed. Walking across the street she settled onto a bench, pulling her knees up to her chest, wishing her sweater and jeans had fewer holes as the wind brushed over her.

It was quiet, aside from the creak of old buildings and the wind howling through them, even the watchmen had retired for the night into warmer places. She was alone in the dimly lite little square between the _Old State House_ and an abandoned building or at least she assumed she was alone. Above her, on the State House's balcony stood a lone figure, smoking a cigarette in silence. Mayor Hancock did not, at first, notice the shivering girl on the bench, too busy looking up at the clouded sky, seeing patches of stars here and there.

The raven closed her eyes, deciding to try and rest a bit, though it wouldn't be easy. Just as she began to doze off someone shoved her from the bench, making her tumble to the pavement, landing on her hurt arm which elicited a gasp from her. "Hey, your the little bitch that got Finn killed, right?" Came a deep voice, followed by a second voice chuckling a little.

The girl clamped a hand on her sore shoulder, sitting up a bit to look up at the two scruffy looking guys standing over her, they were carrying bats. The color drained from her face, eyes looking terrified for a moment, before she made a face, trying to look tough. Showing weakness would only make it worse, she had learned that the hard way from those raiders. "He had it coming to him. I told him to just leave me alone!" The confidence was halfhearted, the slightest quiver in her voice as the guys looked at each other and nodded. "This is how its going to go down girly, thanks to you our buddy is dead. So its eye for an eye right?"

One of the guys lifted his bat, the metal gleaming in the low lighting from the strings of bulbs over head. The raven flinched, ducking her head, praying for a miracle; Completely forgetting she had a shotgun in her bag. Waiting for the inevitable blow, but it didn't come, only the sound of a gun going off reached her ears. Hazy blues shot open, looking up in time to see the mans head explode into bits of brain matter and skull pieces. Blood splashed across the ground and the mans body crumpled into a pool of it. Blinking, she looked up, as did the other two men. Only now did any of them notice Hancock up there, looking far less than pleased, his black eyes angry. "If you two value your lives I suggest you leave. Now!" He growled out in a gruff voice, glaring at the men, who indeed decided to leave. Clearly not wanting the whole of _Goodneighbor_ after them if they stayed, knowing well enough it was not a good idea to challenge the mayor.

Once they were well out of ear shot the ghoul lowered his shotgun, smirking a little as he looked down at the girl, the curve of his lips a touch cocky. "Your turning out to be a lot of trouble Sister. You keep causing fights and I might have to ask _you_ to leave." It was a joke, but she didn't take it as one, he could tell even before she started stammering out a string of apologies. "Woah, woah, I was only kidding. Lighten up will ya?"

The raven got to her feet, apologizing once more. Feeling a little awkward, she shifted a little, one hand still wrapped around her injured arm. Not really looking at the Mayor, just around, not sure if she should leave or something. "What were you doing out here in the middle of the night anyway? It's fucking freezing..." Hancock asked, leaning on the balcony railing, watching her. Again she looked pretty lost. And again he couldn't help thinking she was pretty cute. He would not have minded in the least if she stuck around for awhile, if only to brighten his view. He waited for her to answer, but the only reply he got was a shrug of her good shoulder, the other one he, finally, noticed was still not taken care of.

This brought a deep frown to his face, was she reckless or really just that poor? "Were you...going to sleep out here?" The question was hesitant, like he wasn't sure he would like the answer. And sure enough he didn't. Though she again didn't say it out loud, it was in the way she hesitated, the slight shiver in her body that showed she was cold and had probably been out there awhile.

It was only now he really noticed a few things about her, like how ratty her clothes were, more torn up than what someone usually wore. Wearing no armor or protection to speak of, only a small brown bag slung over her shoulders and resting against her hip. Even in the dark he could make out the dark circles under those blue eyes, sure sign of someone who had not gotten much sleep in a long time. All of this only deepened his frown, his heart thudding softly, she reminded him of something he had tried to forget. Of himself a decade ago, poor and alone with no where to really turn and nothing to go back to. "Jeez..." Hancock sighed heavily, straightening up, and walking back inside.

She assumed he was disgusted or something, not wanting to look at her or how pathetic she was. Pushing some of her hair from her pale face, the girl went to sit back down, staring sadly at the ground. Hating how she felt like less than a human being, like something worse than the trash littering the streets. She was lost in those self-loathing thoughts. So it surprised her when someone came around the corner, wearing a dull red frock coat and frowning still. Blue eyes looked up into inky black ones, only for a moment or two, before looking away and lowering her head in shame. "Look, its...its nothing to be ashamed of. We all hit low points, y'know? Now come on, I'm not going to be able to sleep if I leave you out here in the damned cold." The mayor held out a scared hand to her, smiling in a welcoming way, warmth in this black eyes.

She looked up, his words stirring something in her, the shadow of a memory crossing her mind. She couldn't make out the detail, but this somehow felt familiar. Lifting her hand, she placed it in his, which was warm as his fingers wrapped around hers. "There's a spare room in the attic of the state house, its not much, but its got a warm bed. Your welcome to it as long as you need to get on your feet."

The raven swallowed the lump in her throat, trying not to cry in the relief that washed over her, "Thank you..." Voice hardly a whisper, slightly husky from the unshed tears. Blue eyes looked away and she had to lift her hand to cover her face, hiding the tears threatening to fall. Taking a deep breath to recover some of her lost dignity, she followed the Mayor of _Goodneighbor_ into the old state house. She crossed her arms, well held the injured one really, it was unpleasant holding it up or putting much weight on it. Inside the state house it was actually pretty warm, compared to outside, she wondered idly how they managed such a thing in such an old building. They walked up a spiral staircase, coming out on the second floor, near another set of stairs. The raven expected them to head that way, but inside Hancock lead her into a sitting room of sorts and pointed to a couch, instructing her to sit.

Confused, she did as she was told, frowning as she watched him searching the cabinets nearby for something. "So, what's your story Sister? What brought you to Goodneighbor?" He asked, trying to alleviate the overwhelming silence, he hated the quiet. The quieter it was the more he could hear things he knew weren't there, aggravating his paranoia. When she didn't answer at first he started to ask something else, lucky for him she began talking softly.

"I was chased here by raiders...they thought I might have something valuable I guess." She replied, looking at the table between the couches which was littered with chems and other such items. "Oh yeah? Their are a lot of them in the city, they love the abandoned towers, easier to see anyone coming I guess." Hancock replied, pulling a small white box from the cabinet and setting it on the counter above him, before diving back in to look for something else. "I don't think I ever got your name." He pointed out, looking over his shoulder a moment, smirking a little.

The raven shrugged, not looking up, "Would you believe me if I said I don't remember it?" The mayor stilled, sitting back on his knees, half turned to her. The surprise was obvious in his features, "Your serious...?" The question lingered in the air a moment, bringing a bitter smile to the girls face.

"Yeah...I woke up a month ago on the river bank with only the clothes I'm wearing and a _Pip-Boy._ The water and rads must have fried its memory though, cause there's nothing on it." She explained, opening her bag and pulling out the somewhat heavy wrist computer, which flopped a little with its broken latch. "I've been wandering around for weeks trying to remember _anything_...but nothings come to me yet. Those raiders would probably have killed me if I hadn't stumbled across the neon signs outside this place...." At this she smiled a bit more softly at him, seeing the half hearted smirk he returned to her, before digging in the cabinet again.

"I guess I can tell Fahrenheit they were a life saver, maybe she'll stop bitching about them being a target now!" Hancock laughed as he leaned out of the cupboards with a metal bowl and an old rag, standing up and pouring some water from the sink into the bowl. With it and the box, he walked to sit next to her, "Lets get that cleaned before you get an infection, I don't have any place to bury a corpse." He meant it as a joke and at least this time he managed to get a small laugh out of her, smiling at his success. Taking off his coat and rolling up his sleeves, he reached to peel the sweater the raven wore away from the bullet wound, it was practically glued there from the caked on blood.

She winced at the tugging, her good hand jerking a bit, but she didn't try to stop him. She did grit her teeth though, pointedly staring at anything other than what he was doing. "So, obviously I can't just keep calling you sister. We should think of a name for you to go by, what do you say?" He smiled a bit, a little pained, he hated hurting the girl. She seemed nice enough, probably a little too nice to be surviving in the Commonwealth, but not everyone could be a hard ass could they? The raven nodded, reaching up to pull her hair of the way, "I wouldn't even know where to begin thinking of one..." She replied, sighing a bit, wariness prominent.

The ghoul hummed, trying to think of something himself, this was well out of his league. "How about this?" They both looked up, the mayor's hands pausing half way to the raven's shoulder with the damp rag. In the door way was Fahrenheit, holding an old leather bound book, "It's a book of baby names from the 17th and 18th century, I think it was part of the museum that was here before the war." The ginger woman explained as she came the rest of the way into the room from where she had been lounging against the door frame, sitting the book on the coffee table.

"How long have you been there?" Hancock asked skeptically, before moving to wipe the dry blood from the wound on the raven's shoulder, hoping to get a better look at it beneath all the grime. He had a sinking feeling the bullet was still jammed in there. The red head shrugged, "I was coming in from my rounds when I heard you talking, so I stood downstairs and listened in. Its my job to make sure the good mayor doesn't get hurt, so I was just being sure the conversation was friendly." Hancock made an annoyed face, glancing over at the woman with dark eyes, who only smirked. Fahrenheit laughed a bit, turning and walking out, "Night."

"Is she always so suspicious?" The raven asked, watching the woman leave, waiting till she was sure she was gone. Hancock chuckled beside her, sitting the rag down, gently making her lean forward. Looking for a possible exit wound, frowning when he couldn't find one, "Yeah, every sense I took over the town. Can't really bitch much, she's saved my ass a few times and she's always had my back when I needed her." He replied distractedly, before letting the other lean back again.

The raven smiled softly at him, thinking how nice it must be to have such a good friend, it made her wonder if she had friends like that somewhere. Were they looking for her? Worried about her...? She didn't know and that sort of hurt. Hancock cleared his throat, "So...that bullets still in there." He stated, keeping as much of the nervousness as he could from his voice, watching her closely. The raven looked confused a moment, before the realization of what he was saying dawned on her, the color drained completely from her face.

"Yeah...sorry. Uh...Here, this will take the edge off." He reached over to the table, picking up one of the red and white inhalers, handing it to her. He was pulling his knife out as she stared at the small object, she wasn't so stupid she didn't know what it was. The thing was that she was pretty sure she had never used one before, but seeing the knife in the mayor's hand made her swallow the worry about taking drugs. Really not wanting to feel the pain if she could get out of it, so without much thought she inhaled the Jet. It felt so strange, like the world had slowed to a crawl, her body feeling light as a feather.

Hancock waited till he was sure she was high enough not to notice him, watching her relax back on the couch and stare with a starry expression across the room. Reaching over and holding her still with one hand, he began digging as gently as he could into the hole in her shoulder, making it a bit bigger. The smell of fresh blood was almost overpowering, the sticky crimson liquid soaking her sweater even more as he set the knife aside and dug for the bullet with his finger, glad he found it quickly. The Jet wasn't exactly a lasting high for anyone and it was clearly wearing off because the raven's muscles began to tense, a strained sound leaving her. "Got it!" He pulled the .45 stub from the wound, dropping it on the table and grabbing the rag he had used to clean the blood away with earlier, pressing it to the wound to stifle the blood flow.

The ghoul could have laughed at the vicious curse that left the girl, her good hand gripping the couch cushion beneath her fingers, "Won't hurt much longer, I have a Stimpak. Just needed to make sure nothing was in there before I used it, nothing sucks more than using one and realizing you still have lead in the wounds." He made a face, "Can't tell you how many times I've made that mistake."

She smiled a little at that, "I can't image...But are you sure about the Stimpak? It might be a while before I can pay you back...let alone repay you for letting me stay in the attic." She pointed out, glancing warily at him. She really didn't like the idea of owing this man, or anyone for that matter, something so expensive. She had already tried to buy a Stimpak off a traveling vendor and had chocked at how much he wanted for it, they really were the equivalent of gold. The ghoul shrugged, waving a hand at her as he got the white box from the table and opened it, revealing a small stash of chems; Including the Stimpaks.

He had a lot of chems, she noticed. In fact it made her wonder wither he was a dealer or an addict, either thought was a bit off putting. But he seemed like an easy going sort, if you didn't count the way he had gutted Finn earlier that day, so she felt like he was trustworthy. After all he managed an entire town, a successful one at that or at least it seemed that way. Despite what Kent had said to her earlier, Goodneighbor was not the only place in the commonwealth with murders and other bad things, it seemed to pretty rampant all over. And everyone there seemed to admire the frock coat wearing ghoul.

"It's not a big deal, I don't expect it back. This time at least, but lets not make a habit of it okay?" He smirked at her again, using the Stimpak on her arm, the sound of the pressure releasing on it telling them it was working. Sure enough the wound closed up at a rapid pace, leaving nothing but the caked blood behind. The raven let out a relieved breath, the pain going away at long last, rolling her shoulder a bit. "Fair enough." She replied as he stood to put things away, going to wash his hands and the bowl in the sink, letting her clean up what she could of the rest of the blood on her arm.

Once he was seated again he picked up the book Fahrenheit had left them, flipping through it a little, skipping the history bits for now, "So, you still need a name...Wonder where we should start, there's a lot to choose from in here." He commented, smirking a little when he found his own name, though it wasn't surprising to him in the least since it was a fairly common name. Beside him the girl hummed a little, leaning over a bit to look at the pages of the book he was flipping through, nothing really jumping out at her. Except when he hit the 'L' names she reached out and stoped him, reading the page a bit more closely, something about the 'L' sticking out to her. Like it struck a memory somewhere. But she still didn't find anything more familiar than that, which made her frown in annoyance, "I....I don't know..." The raven wished she could just remember her own name, it was frustrating not knowing who she was, hell for all she knew she was a farmer's kid or even a murderer.

Hancock felt sort of bad for her, he couldn't imagine not knowing who your were or where you had come from, even if he wished he could forgot those things himself. Glancing away from her, he looked over the page again, before spying a name he sort of liked. "How about Lydia?" He offered, those black eyes warm again, almost shining with it. Blue eyes lifted to his, a little wide, the softest pink on her cheeks. Silence stretched out between them, not uncomfortable exactly, more like the kind of silence that was almost intimate. Like when a connection was being made between two people, a strong connection that neither would be able to ignore or deny.

The sort that made butterflies erupt in your stomach and the words fly out the fucking window like little birds. And damned if Hancock didn't find his own face getting hot, surprising himself. As much as he seemed like the flirty type he really just was not the type to get romantic with anyone, hell he had known Fahrenheit for years and never even thought about her as anything but a friend, the same as he did with literally everyone he was remotely close with.

But this girl? There was just something about her, aside from the fact she was easy to look at, that attracted him. He couldn't seem to turn away or deny it either, the worst part was he couldn't figure out why! This wasn't at all like him to like someone this much, let alone so damned suddenly. He was never one to believe in destiny or love at first sight or karma and all that ridiculous bullshit. 

At last she jerked way, looking off to the side, her heart thudding loudly in her ears. Raven hair fell between them, blocking her face from his view and his from hers, allowing her to think at least a little straighter. "Ah...Yeah, I-I like it." She replied, confusing him a moment, before he realized she was talking about the name. The ghoul cleared his throat, "Right, good. Ah, your probably tired, I'll show you that room I was talking about."

He stood quickly, a bit too fast, sitting the book down and walking from the room. The raven hesitated a little, feeling more than a lot awkward as they went upstairs. The attic was empty except for some random bits of old furniture, a couple of dresses and such like that. A few lanterns lit what would have normally been blackness, illuminating a simple rickety bed frame and aged, but mostly clean mattress.  The mayor bid her a goodnight, before moving to leave, only vaguely catching her soft voice telling him thank you once more.

Alone, she stared at the stairwell, wondering what it was going to be like living there. She had no doubt she would be staying in _Goodneighbor_ for awhile, it was safe and the only place she had to go, which was somehow comforting. She had a place to go, to return to. The raven didn't need to wander aimlessly now. A smile crossed pink lips, a tiny happy sound bubbling into the air as she walked to the bed. Maybe it was just the after effect of the Jet, but she felt positively giddy, which made it hard to fall asleep as she lay in bed that night. 

 

 


	2. The Art of Insanity

Lydia awoke the next morning feeling surprisingly energetic, despite being pretty starved at this point. At least she was healed and rested, that was something. And she had a bed to come back to, which meant a lot. The state house was quiet as she made her way downstairs, the only people in it she discovered where the guards at the exits, who both said nothing to her and gave her strange looks. The raven bid them a good day, deciding to be polite, since she would likely be seeing them fairly often. It was still cloudy outside, almost bitterly cold, giving her second thoughts about going out on that job for Kent right then. But she needed the money and wasn't going to let the weather stop her.

The raven left the settlement in high spirits, if she kept moving it wouldn't be as cold, right? On her way out she cut down the toward the alley near the Mass Fusion tower, moving quickly so as not to arouse the suspicion of the gunners hold up there and quietly to not attract the attention of the Super Mutants living in the tower just on her other side. As she passed one of the blockades, going toward Park Street, she narrowly missed running face first into someone with a bright red coat. "Woah! Where are you going in such a hurry?" Came the familiar gruff voice of Mayor Hancock, whose hands had automatically shot up to grab her shoulders when they had almost collided. Lydia blushed a little, embarrassed at her own lack of attention, "Ah, Sorry! I was running a job for Kent, guess I got in a hurry."

"Yeah, pay attention. This ain't exactly the nicest neighborhood..." The Ghoul pointed out, letting her go to light a cigarette, "Seriously, if your heading anywhere near Swans pond, be careful. There's a nasty beast lurking that way."

The raven nodded, face still a bit red, "Thanks for the heads up." She replied, smiling a bit, before heading off again. It didn't even dawn on her as strange that Hancock had been out there, too preoccupied with the task at hand and wanting to get the hell out of the cold as soon as possible. Lydia did in fact pass near the old swans pond park, being sure to slow down to mask her footsteps and staying on the opposite side of the street, not wanting to gain the attention of whatever it was Hancock was talking about. But as she came to an intersection, the Hubris Comics sign coming into view, she noticed a body near one of the park entrances.

Biting her lip, she looked around, making sure she was alone, before quietly crossing the street. It was a scavenger, a very dead one, though she couldn't determine what killed him. Humming softly, not wanting to waste the chance that the guy had been carrying anything useful, so she checked over the corpse carefully. A fair amount of caps, a decent coat, and ammo. All and all a god send in her case, she could at least buy food when she got back to _Goodneighbor_ and she now had a coat to keep a bit warmer. This lightened her already giddy mood into a ecstatic one, it seemed as though her luck was turning around at last, after such a terrible month.

Making her way to the old comic store, she found yet another body down the stairs of the reverse stoop that lead inside. A second dead scavenger, an inkling of worry trickling through her, taking a nervous glance at the buildings near by. Wondering if there might be snipers or if these bodies were just random, unlucky people. Checking this body too, she pleasantly surprised to find not only caps, but a melon and a switchblade. The raven grinned, huddling into a protected little corner of the stoop, wiping the melon and blade clean, before cutting into the fruit and devouring it quickly. It wasn't a large thing, so it didn't take long to finish the little meal.

Now happily full and without the nagging hunger, she could fully focus on finding that costume. Cleaning off the knife, she tucked it into her bag with the rest of her recent loot, going over to the door of the old store and sneaking inside quietly. It was nearly dead silent, the only sound was the breeze coming through the cracks in the window panes and creaking of the old structure. Or at least she thought so, until she moved to investigate behind the counter across from the door, the floor boards under her creaked and the sound was followed by shuffling and small growls. Lydia cringed, raising herself from where she was crouched, enough to see over the counter. All the way on the other side of the room, passed the over turned magazine shelves, was a bathroom. The doors on the restroom where off their hinges, leaving an unhindered view into that area, where she could see two figures. One crouched and nibbling on something and another shuffling around and sniffling the air like a beast. Their eyes glowing that eerie yellow color as they glanced around with that brain dead hungry gaze.

The raven had no doubt there was more than just the two, if her luck was anything to go by. Lydia had only every seen these things one other time over the past month, after falling through a hole in the floor of one of the many abandoned buildings in the city, into a basement crawling with them. Not completely positive what they were, only that they vaguely resembled people and that their only function seemed to be to attack anything that moved other than each other. Out of everything that had tried to kill her since she awoke on that river bank, these were the ones that haunted her nightmares the most.

She debated on how to proceed, not wanting to use her shotgun because the noise would attract the others if there were more in comic store. There was the switch blade, but could she really sneak up close enough to take them both out without a tussle? Her only option really seemed to be to lure them out and take them out one at a time, and pray there weren't a lot of them. Pulling the short barreled shotgun from her bag, she made sure it was loaded, getting more ammo ready since it only held two shots at a time. Carefully she made her way across the room, waiting until she was a few feet away, taking aim. Easily taking out the first, blocking out the sound in her mind in order to keep from panicking or flinching, this was no time to hesitate.

The second one lunged for her, the raven diving to the side and turning, firing off a second shot. Its head exploded into a spray of viscera and fragments. Above her the sounds of several pairs of feet shuffled to life, sure enough there was more of them, as they came crawling through the holes in the ceiling and running at her, shrieking horribly.

Reloading as quickly as she could, she took them out, backing herself into the old bathroom so they only had one path to get to her, narrowing their range and eliminating the chance they might sneak up on her. It helped a little, but she quickly became overwhelmed by their numbers. One of them grabbed her arm, opening its jaws to take a bite out of her. She bashed it away with the butt of the shotgun, but another clawed at her ankle, managing the rip up her pant leg and leave nasty marks across her skin.

Hissing in pain, she fired a shot at that ones head, whipping around in time to take out two of them coming through the door with another shot. Moving to reload, she dodged another one, panic over taking her now. She rushed from the room, making for the upstairs of the building. Unfortunately there were still more of them, these ambushed her as she reached the top of the stairwell. Sure they would be the end of her. Being surrounded and out numbered. Backing into a corner.

But something clicked, somewhere in her mind, the world slowed down like she had taken a hit of some really good Jet. She was able to think far more clearly than she ever had before, like her mind was picking up the subtle weaknesses of each of those monsters. Targeting the soft spots, she deftly began taking them out, not a single one reaching her...and then it was over. The dust cleared and she was surrounded by the corpses of her enemies, panting softly, heart racing wildly. "What...just happened?" Lydia murmured to herself, shaking her head, uncertain what had triggered her sudden and unbelievable ability to do what she just had.

Shakily, she pushed the questions away for now, moving to explore the building. On the second floor she found the bodies of more scavengers, looting them like she had the others, feeling sorry for them but thankful for the things they left behind. She had a fair amount of caps now at least, at this rate she could at least give Hancock something as a thank you for housing her.

There wasn't much else in the building, but she did manage to find a few things Kent might like, something just wanted her to take them to him. Maybe it was the cute way he got excited, but it just made her happy. Lydia wondered if she might make a friend in Kent, she certainly hoped so. Among the items where a signed picture of the Shroud himself, an old script for the show, and the replica of his silver submachine gun.

The raven also found a few bonus goodies for herself, like a trunk full of ammo and grenades. A cap stash hidden in a wall and even a legitimate Grognak costume in a locker! By the time she was making her way to leave her bag was pretty full.

Humming a happy little tune, she based back behind the register counter on her way out, spotting a locked case. Curiously walking over to investigate, she found an actual Grognak axe and it looked to be pretty sharp. Not about to pass up the chance, the raven smashed the case, taking the lovely gleaming silver thing in her hands. She wasn't sure what it was about it that made her so happy, but just holding it sent her heart a lite in joyous fire. It never once dawned her that it might seem strange she remember the Grognak comics, let alone was already fond of them.

On her way back to _Goodneighbor_ , the sun was going down, the world darkening around her. Passing the swans pond, she happened to notice a few of those greenskins hanging around the water in the park, talking among themselves. Lydia knew she should have just kept going, but curiosity got the better of her. Making her way across the road, she ducked behind an old car, listening intently. They were discussing some sort of plan, but before they finished talking about it they stopped.

"Do you smell that...? Smells like..."

"Human! Where are you little human! We can smell you!"

The raven cursed softly, remembering the scratches on her left leg, no doubt that was her give away. Without really thinking about it, hearing them coming toward her hiding spot, she took off at a run in the direction of _Goodneighbor_. Behind her the mutants yelled, there stomps loud and gaining up fast. But for some reason they stopped chasing her the moment she passed the blockade, she thought little of this, just glad to avoid a fight. Slowing down a bit to pull the chilled air back into her deprived lungs, leaning onto her knees a little. Not really having time to rest, considering the gunners saw her and began yelling, firing off shots that barely missed her.

Lydia rushed into the settlement she was temporarily calling home, shutting the door behind her with a not so quiet slam. Thankfully the square was empty, but for the people manning the shops and some guy in sunglasses sweeping pointlessly at the ever littered street. Letting out a breath, she leaned back on the door, holding tight to the axe in her right hand.

Once her energy was recovered, she made her way to the _Memory Den_ , feeling triumphant. Kent was in his room, fiddling with his radio when she entered, grinning widely at him as he looked up at her, "Did you get it?!"

"Yup, and I even brought you some extra goodies I found." She told him, digging out the memorabilia and the costume, passing it to him. The shorter getting up and doing a bit of a dance when he saw what she had brought, "Your the best lady! You got the costume and even brought me memorabilia! I think you deserve a bonus!" He rushed over to his bed, going underneath to retrieve a little bag of caps, which he gave her, adding some extra before he did.

"Now there's only one thing left, I need someone to become the Shroud himself. But I'm just not Silver Shroud material. I could be Reht Reinhart or his butler Jarvy Blake." He explained, sitting back down a little glumly. The raven tilted her head a bit, "Don't sell yourself so short Kent, I think you could make a great Shroud." She tried to sound encouraging, it would take someone with a strong moral compass to be a hero like the Shroud.

"Thanks, but I'm just not a fighter...Hmmm, what if you became the Shroud?" He looked up at her with a glint in his blue eyes, starting to smile with hope. Lydia made a face, "I...why me?"

"Your strong, clearly. And you helped me out when everyone else just laughed at me. So what do you say, will you do it?" The raven bit the inside of her mouth, wanting to say no, but that smile and the hopeful way his eyes lite up just ate at her. Sighing she smiled weakly, "Looks like I get to be the Shroud." She replied with half-hearted cheer, trying not to grimace.

The ghoul cheered, bouncing up and down a bit. "Perfect! I'll get the costume prepped so its not so flimsy, I have some ballistic fiber that I can use to make a layer underneath it so you don't get hurt as much! It'll be nearly bullet proof when I get done. So come back in a few days, okay?"

"Yeah, alright." She laughed a little into her hand, unable to help herself, he really was adorable. Turning to leave, she was stopped when Kent spoke again, "Hey, wait, I never got your name!" Apparently he had forgotten yesterday, but she didn't mind.

"It's Lydia." She answered without hesitation, her heart doing a little flutter as she thought of the night before, when Hancock had suggested the name. Cheeks turning warm, she quickly left after that, deciding to go check out the shops for possible food. Seeing as she now had the caps to buy a meal or two and even some spare ammo she could sell off.

* * *

 

It was a couple hours after dark when Lydia stepped into the warm old state house, smiling warily at the guards, who again gave her simple nods this time. Upstairs she could hear Hancock talking in that low, slightly gruff voice of his. Every now and again catching Fahrenheit replying or explaining something or other. It took her a moment to realize she was eavesdropping, which made her blush darkly, heart hammering. The raven made her way quickly up the stairs, fully intending to just go straight to the attic, but as luck was never fully on her side...

"There's our new little pawn...say why don't you come in here **pawn**." Came Fahrenheit's condescending voice, the ginger sitting on one of the two couches with Hancock across from her. She looked a mixture of annoyed, pleased, and perhaps a bit spaced out as the raven turned with a soft sigh. "H-hey...Did you need something from me?" Lydia asked, trying to sound polite, walking into the room, still holding onto that axe she had found. The raven fully intended to keep it, even if she was not strong enough to use it effectively.

"I got a job for you, a bit of light recon." Hancock told her, getting to his feet, cigarette in his hand. He waited for her to give some indication she was willing to take the request, which she did in the form of a wary look at the ginger woman on the other couch and then a nod. "There's a place north of here called _Pickman Gallery_. It's raider territory up there, but its been quiet. Like awkward post coitus quiet. I want you to check it out and report back here, dig?"

Lydia nibbled her lip lightly, again glancing at Fahrenheit, unable to keep from feeling like this was some kind of fucked up little test she had cooked up. She seemed like the type, if the way she talked down to her and the ridiculous nickname were a good indication. Not sure why she felt that way, "Sure...but why me? Surely I'm not the most qualified person for this?"

"Your small and quiet, perfect for a simple recon. The best **pawn** for the job." Fahrenheit answered before Hancock could reply, the ghoul letting out a sigh, "If you go under the cover of night your a lot less likely to be seen." The mayor pointed out, taking a drag of his cigarette, before letting out a cloud. Lydia mulled over his words, nodding softly and excusing herself, she dropped off some of her things upstairs. No sense in carrying heavy items on such a quest, she needed to be light and quick. Only vaguely did she realize Hancock had seemed concerned when he told her to go at night, was he worried about her? A stranger he had taken in off the street. 

Outside, she stopped by KL-E-O's, the weapon seller. Stocking up on ammo just in case, splurging on a couple of Stimpaks, which left her almost broke again. But raiders were extremely dangerous, more so than the gunners in her opinion. At least the gunners gave a warning, the raiders shot first. As she was reaching the gate to leave she noticed Fahrenheit waiting, leaning against the wall of the state house, but the raven tried not to make eye contact.

The ginger however crossed the way quickly, taking her arm in a painfully tight grip and forcing her to look at the taller woman, "I don't trust you, not one damn bit. Don't think for a second I believe that bullshit sob story you gave Hancock. I'm keeping my eye on you."

Lydia raised a brow at the ginger woman, a deep frown on her lips, "I have no intentions of hurting him if that's what your concerned about. And It wasn't a sob story, its the fucking truth." The raven yanked her arm from Fahrenheit's hold, eyes burning with anger. Without another word she left, quietly making her way through the remains of Boston, seeking out this _Pickman Gallery._

Oddly enough it wasn't hard to find, if the pissed off raiders running around shouting about revenge on some guy named Pickman was a clue. Getting inside was another story, there was at least ten or so of the psychos milling in and out of the place. Good thing she had found those grenades in the comic bookstore.

Pulling the pin on one, she tossed it into a mess of them, one of them noticing it too late and starting to yell for everyone to duck. The explosion made the raven's ear's ring, moving from her covered spot with her shot gun at the ready, taking out the stragglers and slipping inside before more were drawn by the noise.

The inside of the place was dimly lit and quiet for the most part, but she could hear more raiders farther in, so she was more careful now to be quiet. Unfortunately it was hard to, considering the over powering smell lingering in the air was making her stomach turn in hard knots. Clamping a hand over her mouth the muffle the sound of a gage, she took a better look around. In front of her was a set of stairs, which she avoided for now, turning instead into a room off the foyer. Immediately she wished she hadn't. Before her was a room lined with unnerving paintings all in reds and blacks with accents of yellows, but that was not what made her nearly throw up all over the floor.

In the center of the room was piles of emulsified body parts and heads on spikes, flies and maggots all over it, gleaming a sickly crimson. And she had thought raiders chose a sick decorating style, this was on a whole new level of just plain fucked up. It took everything in her to hold it in, looking past the mess, searching for more of a clue as to what the hell was going on in this hell hole.

On the other side of the room was a body, not of a raider by the looks, but a scavenger of some sort. Searching him she found a small note book, written within was a pretty clear explanation. The guy had come here to investigate, like she had, discovering some nut job named Pickman was using this place to display his 'Art', which was all made from the corpses of those he lured in or kidnapped. Tucking the note in her bag, she moved to leave, but hesitated. As much as she wanted to run as far from that fucked up place as possible, she really felt compelled to put an end to this madness. So against her better judgment she followed the sounds of the raiders, all the way into a basement and farther down into some old tunnels beneath the building. Instead of taking them out as she went she decided to wait till they were all in one spot, like outside, and just toss a grenade or two. Quick and much fewer wasted shots. Ammo was expensive.

Sadly her back luck must have returned, because the raiders had set up turrets and mines all over the goddamned place. The mines she just disarmed, but the turrets she had to take out the hard way, which attracted attention, resulting in several shoot outs. The only advantage she had was that the tunnels had a lot of turns and pillars and things to duck behind, making reloading easier. "Really need to save up for a better gun..." Slowly she cut through them, picking up ammo off the bodies she left behind, doing her best not to focus on the blood and copper smell that was now causing a serious nausea. At least once she had to stop and empty the contents of her stomach, which did relieve the feeling for a little while.

Toward the end of the tunnels she came to a ledge over looking a room, three raiders and a man standing across from them. No doubt this Pickman guy they were fussing about.

"End of the line Pickman, you've killed the last of my friends, now its your turn to have your guts smeared across the fucking walls!" One of them growled out, the leader she figured, hanging back and observing the fight that broke out. Why fight more than needed? Let them take each other out and she could take out the stragglers.

This Pickman guy turned out to be shockingly strong, taking out two of the three with ease, but struggling with the last. Lydia was content to wait them out though, at least till that raider psycho noticed her, "Hey!" He whipped his gun toward her, firing off a shot dangerously close to her head, which she counter with return fire of her own. Successfully blowing the man's head off.

With the raider leader dead, she dropped from the ledge, gun trained on this Pickman guy. Slowly coming toward him, wary. It shouldn't have scared her, facing this one man, he didn't even have a gun. But something in the way he smiled at her so calmly, the way his eyes gleamed with madness, made her heart race with terror. "Thank you for helping me, I have a gift for you for letting me live. Those people deserved that I did to them." He said, voice eerily even as he titled his head, never once blinking. The raven shook her head, trying to keep the trembling in her hands at a minimum, "If I let you live you mean? And who says you don't deserve the same or worse?"

"Says one born killer to another." He tilted his head, still smiling, "Here, take this as a token of my gratitude." Pickman told her, dropping a black bladed combat knife at her feet, before backing away, patiently watching her to make a move.

Waiting. Lydia's finger twitched on the trigger of her shotgun, hands shaking too much to make it a clean shot, unable to finish the task. Swallowing the nerves as much as she could, she bent, watching him carefully. Picking the knife up with her left hand, she stood up slowly, taking a step back. And then he struck, like snake...

It was like a blur, one minute he was there and the next he had her against a pillar, his larger body pressing her painfully into the bricks. "So beautiful...Seems a shame to waste such a lovely face." His breath ghosted her ear, ice forming in her veins and tickling down her spine, feeling his hands move to her waist and begin to push her sweater up. And then he was groaning, doubling over, blood pouring out of his middle. And she ran, finding a set of stairs and scrambling up them as fast as she could, coming out somewhere near the river.

"This isn't over my little muse!"

Not once did she look back, even when she heard him screaming at her from below. As fast as she could she made her way back to _Goodneighbor_...

* * *

 

Hancock was pacing, something he did not do often, he seldom felt a worry like the one burrowed in his stomach at that moment. Lighting another cigarette, from like the fifth pack in over three hours, a new record.

Taking a drag, he ignored the way Fahrenheit was watching him as she played chess solo at the coffee table. "I don't know why your so worked up, she's just another stray, like all the others. Easily expended and easily replaced."

The mayor did not reply, his black eyes narrowing a bit, glaring at nothing in particular. She wasn't wrong exactly. But there was just something about that girl that drew him in, like a new and highly addictive chem. In only a few hours he had been high on her presence and in the wake of her the crash was worse than any he had known. Below he heard one of the doors slam open on the first floor, an uproar forming soon after from the watchmen, "Hey! Wait a second, you better not being planning something stupid!" One of them cried, three sets of footsteps storming up the stairs. Lydia was the first to appear in the doorway, followed by the two guards who had their guns ready on her.

The raven looked ready to hurt someone, felt ready to do some damage, but the moment she saw that familiar red? Smelled the chems and the gun oil mixed with cigarettes. She relaxed a little, freezing as she tried to recall where she was and how she had gotten there.

Hancock grit his teeth, she looked a mess, but otherwise unharmed. Her black hair was wild around her pale face, smeared in little splashes of blood. In her left hand was a large knife, blood was coated here as well. Not splashed so much as soaked, the knife stained in it. Panting heavily, hazy blue eyes showing the horror she had seen without speaking it. Several things crossing her expression at once, before it seemed to relax into some sort of horrified combination of embarrassment and fear.

"What the hell happened to you?" Hancock blurted out, open mouthed in shock, Fahrenheit looked slightly less surprised and a lot more disappointed; And slightly amused. Both of them waited for an explanation, which took a while to get out, she had run almost all the way there it seemed. "That...place...Pickman...was using peoples...bodies for...his art!" She started, leaning on her knees a bit and swallowing much needed air, catching her breath. Hancock cringed, "Seriously? That's just messed up...Even for this town."

"It was crawling with...raiders...apparently he had been targeting them and they were out for his head. I-I took them out...all of them..." She explained, wiping sweat from her face with her free hand, straightening up. Fahrenheit feigned concern, relaxed on the couch with a cat-got-the-canary look, "Aw, poor little pawn, did you get scared?"

The raven's jaw tightened, as much as she wanted to tell the woman to fuck the hell off, she refrained from doing so. The ginger was Hancock's closest friend and she didn't wanted to ruin a good thing by insulting her or him. "No. I didn't. I'm going to bed." Lydia replied shortly, turning and marching upstairs, pushing on of the watchmen from her path. "Hey! Watch it!"

In the safety of the attic Lydia collapsed on her knees beside her bed, looking down at the knife in her hands, swallowing thickly. Dropping the heavy thing, she couldn't hold in the sickness anymore, darting for a metal bucket in the corner and practically hugging it. The sounds of her retching echoed in the mostly empty room, all she could do was hope that no one could hear it and if they did they didn't respond to it.

Below, Hancock looked away from the ceiling, frowning deeply. He turned dark eyes on his second in command, "Did you know what you were sending her into?" Gruff voice commanding, no bullshit attitude prominent. It wasn't a voice he used often, detesting the whole in-charge asswad thing. The heavy gunner smirked a bit, "Not all of it. But hey, she's alive and the job got done, so that's what matters right?" Fahrenheit stood up, leaving the mayor alone there, deciding not to push him anymore than she already had. He may have a soft spot for the poor and in need, but fuck with him enough and he could be down right feral.

The ghoul sighed heavily, taking off his hat with one hand running the other over his head, feeling frustrated. On the one hand this was nothing new for Fahrenheit to be really rough on a newcomer, force them to really question wither Goodneighbor's lifestyle was going to be for them or not. But on the other hand he didn't want this for Lydia, he didn't like the thought of knowingly sending her into danger, but he didn't understand why. _Still_ didn't understand why was more accurate.

Last night had been so strange, that feeling of connection with the raven, the way when he looked at her he just felt oddly right with the world. Like their meeting was not by chance, but by fate, or some shit like it. Not that he believed in that sort of crap. Finishing his smoke, he walked up to the attic, hesitating in the doorway. Black eyes just watching her, his stomach turning with frustration, more at himself than anyone. Quietly he crossed the room, kneeling behind the raven who was struggling to catch her breath, carefully and cautiously pulling her long hair from her face so she didn't get anything in it if she hadn't already.

The movement startled her, making her jerk away from him, blue eyes wild as she turned to see who was there. "H-hancock?! What...?" She couldn't really find the words to ask him why he was there, her cheeks dusted crimson, both from getting so sick and from seeing him sitting so damned close. Close enough she could feel the warmth of his body, breath in the strangely pleasant smell of him. She wasn't sure why it calmed her, he smelled of chems and gun oil and something distinctly masculine that she couldn't place. None of which would normally have been found comforting to her.

"Listen...don't let Fahrenheit get to you...I know how she is and she's always been overly cautious. I don't think there's a lot of people she trusts. So she's hard on everyone." He explained, sitting on the floor there beside Lydia, facing her with one knee pulled up; Arm relaxed across it. The raven smirked bitterly, letting out a sound that held little amusement, "Yeah, I got that pretty quickly." Lydia looked down at her hands, laying limply in her lap, eyes shadowed by the fall of her dark hair. It was quiet awhile, just the two of them sitting there, neither really looking at each other. "So...what's your story Hancock?"

The ghoul smirked a little, seeming laid back about the question, but his eyes held a tinge of bitterness. "Ah, my favorite subject." He replied as he pulled out his cigarettes and lit one, taking a long drag, before letting it out on a sigh.

"Sorry...too personal?"

"Nah, its cool." He replied easily, "I guess I came to this town, I don't know...a decade ago? I had a smooth set of skin back then." He smirked at that thought, wondering if she had found him good looking, "Back when I was making myself a pillar of the community, I used to go on these...like wild tears." He explained, his cigarette sitting between his fingers, forgotten. Eyes down cast, "Any chems I could find, the more exotic the better. I was always more high than sober. And then I found this experiment radiation drug, only one of its kind...and only one hit." The mayor smiled, glancing over at the raven, trying to gage her reaction to all this. "Oh but the high was fantastic, sure I'm living with the side effects now. But what's not to love about immortality?"

"Wow...your a hell of a risk taker Hancock." Lydia mumbled softly, looking away thoughtfully, expression turning confused for a second. "Wait...your immortal?" Blue eyes lifted to gaze into the mans face, curious and unafraid. Innocent.

"Sort of, something about the radiation healing and regenerating my body since I'm a ghoul. I don't know, I've never understood that science crap." He replied as he finished off his cigarette and put the butt out, flicking it off somewhere into the shadows.

The raven nodded with a hum, calmly gazing across the room, falling into thought. Hancock frowned a little, watching her carefully, "So... **were** you scared?"

"What?" Lydia looked surprised by the out of the blue question, even more so by the odd look on the ghoulish mans face. "At the gallery I mean, were you scared?" His face was shadowed by his hat, eyes a little hard for her to read. The question brought back the nausea she had almost forgotten, face twisting a bit, "No...not till the end at least...I found Pickman before the raiders could kill him."

"Oh yeah...?" Hancock was curious, extremely interested to hear what had happened in that place, considering checking it out for himself, just to see if it was as nasty as he suspected. "Yeah. He...he thanked me for saving him, gave me that knife as a gift. I...I had my chance to just blow his fucking brains out, but...I couldn't pull the trigger." The raven looked angry, hands shaking a little, curled into tight fists. "He...he cornered me before I could just walk out, said something about me being too pretty to waste or some shit...I-I don't know if I killed him. I know I stabbed him though..."

"Shit...no wondered you looked so freaked out when you got back. Sorry that you had to go through that..." The mayor lite another cigarette, shaking his head. The smallest smile twitched on his mouth, a devilish look in his eyes, "But he's not wrong."

Lydia blinked, looking at Hancock, "What?"

"You really are pretty."

He said it with such a straight forward manner, the smile on his face obvious flirting. Hancock was actually flirting. With her. And by the stars the red that crossed her cheeks was more addicting than Jet. "Ah...I-I..."

"You should get some rest, its late." The frock coat wearing ghoul got to his feet, walking toward the stairs, bidding her a good night. Leaving her there, gapping like a fish. 

 


	3. The Silver Shroud

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set to the song Six Shooter by Coyote Kisses. Idky I'm adding this, just am. I may or may not add some of the fanart I've done later down the road. >.> Also, the Silver Shroud was, personally, one of my favorite quests. For so many reasons. Lol

_Two days later...._

Lydia walked into the ever present dimness of the Memory Den, making her way to Kent's little room there. He perked up when he saw her, "Hey! Just in time, I finished the costume and its ready to go." The short ghoul pulled a suitcase from beneath his bed, opening it to reveal the _Silver Shroud_ costume and hat. "Go ahead, try em on!"

The raven smiled, feeling a little silly about this whole thing, but none the less put on the outfit over her normal clothes. They fit nicely and were surprisingly comfortable, though a little heavier than she prefered. "Fits good...I'm just concerned about one thing..."

"What's that?"

"Won't people be able to tell its me? I don't think it would be a good idea if someone recognized me."

Kent seemed to think it over, snapping his fingers and going to a dresser, opening it and pulling out a pair of road goggles. "Here, put these on and pull the scarf over your mouth." Doing as she was told, the raven also pulled her hair up and hide it under the hat as an extra measure. "There, not even your own mother would recognize you!"

She smirked under the scarf, taking some cards Kent held out to her. "Their calling cards, leave them on the bodies of the bad guys so people know it was you. I'll call in any crimes on my radio station so keep an ear out!"

"Yeah, alright." Lydia walked from the room, pulling her _pip-boy_ from her bag under the coat, tuning it to the station and setting it low so only she could really hear it. "I really hope this works."

* * *

 

Keeping to the shadows, Lydia stayed mostly out of sight, her heart racing wildly. Nervous about this whole venture, the radio only making it worse. The only good thing was that listening to it gave her an idea of what the _Silver Shroud_ was like, the way he talked and such. The submachine gun Kent had given her was loaded and ready beside her, feeling so much heavier than it really was in her hands. It was not the idea of killing someone that made her nervous, just the idea of living up to the name of a super hero, not wanting to screw this up.

The radio play cut out with a hiss, Kent's voice coming through seconds later, "Calling all Silver Shroud fans. A once in a lifetime announcement, the Silver Shroud returns and he's gonna clean up the streets! Everyone heard how Wayne Delancy killed Miss Selmy and her kid over a few lousy caps. Death is coming for you Wayne."

And then the play started up again. Taking a few breathes, lifting the scarf up and making sure it was secure, she stood and walked from the shadows and into the sun, hat tilted down; Creating a menacing look. Everyone stopped and stared for a moment, a few of them laughing, several making jokes. All of it setting her nerves more and more on fire, eating at the little confidence she had. But she persisted, hearing someone make the remark that they had seen Wayne behind the old hotel, in a condescending tone that said they thought they would be cleaning up the looney in the costumes corpse and not Wayne's.

Steadying her breathing, pulling at what confidence she could muster, she walked down the alley that lead behind the Hotel Rexford. Sure enough a man was back there, looking over a recent corpse that she had a feeling he was at fault for. The man lifted his head, smirking, "What's with the fancy duds? Looks expensive. Might be I found me a new friend?"

The raven hesitated a moment, before raising her chin a bit, putting on that air of confidence. "Your crimes have gone unpunished for too long!" Throwing her voice for good measure and just for a touch of dramatic effect, feeling a bit giddy and trying not to laugh at how silly she sounded. Wayne made a face, "What the hell is wrong with you? Well, nothing a bullet can't cure." He lifted his gun, only getting maybe a shot out, before he was pumped full of lead from her silver machinegun.

Quickly she left a card, before turning and leaving the alley, not wanting to get seen with a couple of bodies. She again made sure to stick to the shadows, though it did little good, a few people were now aware of her. But they just thought she was a nut in a costume so paid little mind, which resulted in easing her fears for a time. Giving way to a feeling of exhilaration. Lydia was finding herself excited by this, the thought of cleaning up the town and being some sort of hero.

Vaguely she listened to Kent talking to someone on the radio, the sun going down and the shadows growing larger in _Goodneighbor_ , giving it an ominous feel. The station cut out a moment or two and came back with an excited Kent announcing the Shroud had dispatched justice already. The guy with him sounded surprised, "Shit, the Shroud offed Wayne? So this guys actually for real?"

"Hoho, you better believe it! So Jerry, go on, tell the listeners what were talking about!"

"Right, so AJ, the chem dealer by Bobbi's...he's doing good for himself, got a whole new market. Kids. Even with his garbage chems hes just racking in the caps!"

"Hear that? Sounds like the Silver Shroud has another bad guy to deal with!"

"Uhm, why? This Shroud guy, he's going to muscle in on the chem trade now?"

"No, he's going to do something about it. AJ is selling to kids. His chems have killed people."

"And I don't get it."

"We can't let AJ kill kids!"

"Whatever..."

The play came back on again, but Lydia paid no mind to it, standing from where she sat in an alley. She knew from the chatter of the people walking around that Bobbie's was in the alley behind the store fronts, having heard someone tell her the woman was looking for people to do a job. Making her way there, she found three goons, the one leaning on the wall she assumed was AJ the moment he opened his fat mouth.

"Hey, look at the clown. This is my turf clown and I don't like what you calls 'em...trespassers." He said, arms crossed and a smug look on his face as his men both chuckled at what he said. This time the raven did not hesitate in her answer, deciding to be, perhaps, a bit over dramatic. "Peddling poison to kids, are we? Today you face... _The Silver Shroud_!"

AJ looked something between confused and amused, "Aahh...who you say?" He laughed a bit, "Oh, for christs sakes, did Kent put you up to this? He keeps moaning about the poor little kids. What the hell right? Tell you what, I'll give you, lets say, fifty caps to get off my back. And maybe tell Kent to shut up."

"Stop selling to children miscreant! Or face my wrath!"

"Screw you! Waste the freak!"

A second later it was an all out gun fight, Lydia ducked a bit behind the corner and popping out to fire a few shots, before hiding again. The costume did alleviate a lot of the damage, most the bullets didn't even penetrate, but they still hurt like a mother fucker! Eventually she managed to take them all out, leaving another card and deciding to head back to the Memory Den for a bit to recover.

Irma looked up when she entered, rolling her eyes a bit, "Oh dear...I hope you know what your doing sugar, I'm afraid this whole thing is going to get you and Kent in trouble." She said, sighing a bit, frowning at the girl in costume. "It's fine Irma, I doubt anyone will try anything if we keep it up! They'll all run scared!" Kent piped in, coming from his room, grinning at her. "Here, bet your starved after all the work!"

Lydia took the soup he handed her, pulling the scarf down, "Thanks. Heh, this is sort of fun actually!" She told the shorter, eating her soup quickly, sitting in an chair. "Yeah and it feels good to get justice for all those people! I got another job for you already, the assassin Kendra was spotted at the Third Rail earlier, I want you to talk to Whitechapel Charlie and track her down."

The raven sighed a bit, "Yeah, alright. I'll head out then."

* * *

 

Getting answers from Charlie had proved fairly easy. Kendra lived in a run down apartment building not far from Goodneighbor. And that was where the raven soon found herself, leaving yet another card on yet another villain. Glancing outside, it was pretty late already and Lydia was getting pretty tired after such an eventful day. Yet she felt good about it, like she was making some kind of small difference in the world.

It was a quiet walk back to _Goodneighbor_ , the gunners weren't milling around outside _Mass Fusion_ and even the Mutants seemed to have gone to bed. Reaching the little settlement she now resided in, her _Pip-Boy_ picked up the _Silver Shroud_ radio signal, Kent's voice cutting through the near silence. "Another announcement! Mayor Hancock wants an audience with our hero! I wonder what its about?"

The raven grimaced, cursing softly as she came into the door of the square, Daisy and KL-E-O both looking straight at her. Along with literally everyone there, soft whispers breaking out and for once it didn't sound like jokes. She really, sincerely prayed Hancock was not pissed at her or something or rather at the _Silver Shroud_. The raven also prayed he wouldn't know it was her, for fucks sake she lived in his fucking attic! Panic hit her like a cold knife to the back, making her freeze up half-way to the door of the _State House._

Mentally she was screaming at herself, telling herself she would have to face him either way. Surely she could fool him, keep up that dramatic voice, deepen it a bit so he wouldn't know.

_'I can do this. I can do this! I have to do this!'_ She told herself, repeating it over and over in her head, going inside and heading up the stairs. Ignore the whispers of the guards, one of them making a snide comment. At the top, Hancock was waiting in his little sitting room, Fahrenheit leaning back on the wall with a smirk on her lips that said to expect trouble. Lydia was glad more than ever for the scarf and goggles.

"Guess what someone tells me? Some costumed freak is operating in _Goodneighbor_. And the kicker is, it ain't me! How should I feel about that?" The mayor said as the Shroud entered the room, unable to make out their face thanks to the hat, scarf and goggles. This annoyed him to a degree, but he let it go, waiting to see what this guy had to say.

Lydia's heart pounded loudly in her ears, swallowing the lump of fear in her throat, "This neighborhood is ill. And I am the cure!" She answered cryptically, hoping it would be suffice for a decent answer and that her voice threw him off enough he wouldn't know it was her. The ghoul narrowed his dark eyes a little, before letting out a laugh, "Your priceless! Like the _Silver Shroud_ himself walked out of the comic book and into my den. Just priceless!"

The raven relaxed a little, it seemed like he didn't know. "You've been busy scaring people. Bashing in a few faces. I respect that. So far." He paused for a moment, walking to sit on one of the couches. "But I gotta ask, one freak to another, why the get up?"

"Many have sought to pierce the Shroud. To no avail!"

Another cryptic answer, cryptic was good. Safe. Safer than admitting anything else and it seemed to work as Hancock laughed aloud a second time, taking a bit longer to recover. "You just don't stop! Stay you pal!"

"The low-life's you took out? They all belong to the same asshole. And that asshole's planning some good old fashioned revenge. You dig?" The mayor continued once he had sobered up, getting serious now, "Fortunate for you, I want Sinjin to take a dirt nap. He's taken two-bit raider gangs and turned them into something...scary. Small fish now, but left alone..."

"He will be judged for his crimes!"

"Trust me, he needs a lot of judging. I got a lead on two of his own. Smiling Kate and Northy. Kate's rounding up a posse to take you out. While Northy is running scared. Hired himself some guns and is hold up in Prospect. Just keep piling those body bags up until you find the location of the big guy himself."

The Shroud nodded, turning to leave, but Hancock's voice stopped her. "Don't get yourself killed, alright?" There was legitimate concern in his voice, her heart fluttering a little, wondering if he knew it was her and was worried for her. But he couldn't, right?

* * *

 

Well after she was gone Hancock was sitting across from Fahrenheit, playing chess, higher than a kite. He had taken enough Jet to knock out a normal person, but he was shockingly sober. The ghoul had a freakishly high tolerance for literally all chems, years of taking the stuff in excess probably should of killed him. But so far he was going strong. Stronger than his chess game anyway. Mumbling a small curse, he moved another piece, not looking up at his opponent. "Your distracted, Hancock. It'll get you killed." The ginger woman pointed out, a smirk on her lips as she watched him pick up yet another Jet and inhale, letting out a sigh afterward.

"Your worried about that little pawn, aren't you?"

He growled a softly, mumbling something, his dark eyes glancing at the doorway for like the millionth time. "Did you know it was her earlier or are you just realizing it?" This made him look up, frowning deeply with a dark look on his face, "I had a suspicion, given she had taken a job from Kent. How the hell did you know?"

"Seriously? That voice was so cheesy and she was shaking like a damn leaf the whole time." 

His second in command moved a piece, face turning thoughtful, though slightly annoyed. "Y'know, maybe she ain't so bad. She's clearly committed to cleaning up the town and that can't really hurt." The heavy gunner mused, leaning back on the couch, she too was a little buzzed. Something about getting high always loosened her up, in a very good way, she really was a hard ass. "If that little pawn comes back alive I might have to promote her."

The ghoul across from her let out a slightly bitter laugh, "Sinjin isn't a push over. I have no idea if we just sent her to an early grave..."

* * *

 

The Shroud stood over Northy, who lay on his back, looking up at her in fear. "Death has come for you villain and I am its Shroud!" The guy laughed bitterly at her, smiling nervously, but his eyes held vicious anger. "Y-Yeah! Well death is out for someone close to you freak! While you've been out chasing me, Sinjin is heading to Goodneighbor to get your little friend!"

Lydia's heart skidded to a stop, eyes going wide behind her goggles, breath catching. "What did you just say?" The raven didn't even care she had dropped the voice or the drama, worry filling her guts like broken bits of glass.

Northy smiled, suddenly more confident when he noticed he was getting to her, "That's right. Sinjin is going to splatter your little friends brains all over the town and there ain't fucking dick you can do about it!" He laughed at her madly, the raven lowering her weapon a little, in shock. Without further thought she blew the fuckers head off, dropping a card and running as fast as she could back toward _Goodneighbor_.

The sun was slowly rising, lighting the city around her, the mutants and the raiders that she dodged passed making a loud ruckus. The only thing on her mind was getting to Kent, praying with all her heart she would get there in time. The familiar neon signs came into sight and she bee lined for the door, ignore the way her lungs burned and the way her vision blackened around the edges from the lack of oxygen. Throwing open the gate, she rushed to the Memory Den, seeing a few of the Watchmen hovering over some dead comrades. They looked at her with angry stares, a few of them shouting at her, but the Shroud only went past them and into the open doors of the den.

Inside she found Irma in tears, Amari trying to comfort her. The blonde looked up as she entered, rushing over to meet her, "Oh, sugar! Its terrible!" She nearly shouted, tears running down her face, "I told Kent this would get you both in trouble and now look what's happened!"

Lydia sucked in a few gulps of air, panting heavily, "Just tell me what happened! Where is Kent!?"

"Oh, sugar! There where a dozen of them, they burst in here and took him! They left you a message on Kent's radio station, it keeps playing over and over! Oh god...oh god!"

Scrambling to pull out her _Pip-Boy_ , she tuned it to the channel and turned it up, listening in cold horror.

***BANG BANG***

"I'm recording in here!"

***Bang* *Crash***

"Hey, who are?! AH!"

"So your the Shroud's little friend? Hmhm~ You hear me Shroud? I've got your little buddy and if you want to see him alive you'll come to Milton General Hospital...alone."

"No, Shroud its a trap!"

Gun fire could be heard, followed by Kent screaming in pain, "D-do it Shroud! For the love of god, do it!"

And then the message started over. She listened to it twice, biting her lip, hard enough she tasted copper. Turning off the radio, she put the _Pip-Boy_ away. Irma looked at her in concern, "What are you going to do? They'll chew you up and spit you out!"

"I don't have a choice...Kent needs me. And by god I wouldn't be the Shroud if I turned my back now. No, I wouldn't be me if I gave up." She said firmly, the anger over ruling whatever fears she might have had. Taking off the goggles, she lowered the scarf in order to breath better, that hospital was a good ways off. "Sinjin wants the Shroud, then he's going to get him. I'll put him down like the mongrel he is."

Turning she walked out into the sunlight, eyes dark, shadowed by the hat. No one said a word more when they saw the anger in her features, the look that promised death to anyone who got in her way. On her way out she passed Hancock, who stood beside the State House doors smoking.

Thanks to the angle he still didn't see her face, but he didn't need to to know it was his cute little raven walking toward that gate. "You better come back alive." Was all he said, so low she almost missed the words, pausing a moment to glance back. "The _Shroud_ is an immortal figure of justice, so long as villains roam the streets the _Shroud_ with bring death to their doors." She replied with the softest smirk, so much more confident now than she had been days ago, walking into _Goodneighbor_ like a lost puppy. Hancock smirked a little himself at that, watching her leave.

* * *

 

_Milton General Hospital..._

The Shroud stood before four people. Three goons and their leader. "You lot, you even think about running and I'll kill you myself and then your families! And you Shroud, come any closer and we get to see what's inside Kent's head." Sinjin said angrily, sounding mildly nervous himself if the slight stammer in his voice that he tried to hide with a low laugh was any indication. Lydia kept her head tilted downward, so her face was hidden in deep shadows, only the frown on her lips noticeable.

"You shield yourself behind an innocent. You are craven, Sinjin. And you shall fall before me." The Shroud said in a low, menacing voice, the anger and conviction making the goons around the room quiver in fear. They looked nervous. Sinjin hardly flinched, "Don't talk to me like that! Some of these loser think your some sort of legend. Heh, like you walked straight out of a comic book. But you and I know...your human. And your weak. You came here and for what? Your little sidekick?"

"I have cut a path through all your thugs. Who can truly say I am not the Shroud?"

Sinjin growled, "Don't listen, men. He's a phoney." He looked to his goons a moment, before looking back at the Silver Shroud, eyes wild now, "So what's going to happen is this. I'm going to kill Kent. And then we're going to shoot the hell out of you. Nothing's going to be left but paste." The ghoulish crime boss grinned, "Then I'm going to Goodneighbor, and kill ever last worthless bastard there. Hell I think I'll string that fucker Hancock up by his neck and make him watch me do it! And then I'll burn the whole fucking thing down! No one, screws with Sinjin."

The Shroud felt only a little fear, but it was numbed by her vindication, her need and conviction to save Kent and be the hero he wanted and rightly deserved. And the sheer, boiling anger that this man meant harm to Hancock, the man she practically owed her life to and the only one she really could consider a friend. An idea came to her and she smirked, lifting her head to reveal her face, "You know what would really get to Kent? If you killed his friend, right in front of him."

Sinjin seemed to think the offer over. Kent raised his innocent, frightened blue eyes to look at Lydia, "N-No...Don't do this! I'm not worth your life!" He pleaded to her, those hazy eyes meeting his, her smile unwavering as her resolve. "It's okay Kent. Death has come for these villains and I am its Shroud!"

One of Sinjin's men took a step back, "Holy shit it is the Shroud! Screw this!" All the goons started to make a run for it, Sinjin screaming at them, "Fucking cowards! Fine, I'm going to destroy you Shroud and then I'm going to splatter Kent's brains all over the place!"

The ghoul came down the stares of the raised platform he was on, aiming and fire off several shots. Like a phantom, the raven dodge them, inhumanly fast all of a sudden. That or Sinjin had shit aim. Lifting her gleaming silver weapon, she began firing, narrowly missing the crime lord. Sinjin managed to duck out of the way, shouting in anger, screaming like mad. "Fucking hell! Die you goddamned freak!"

"Not a chance!" Shooting his knees out, the man letting out an agonized sound as the Shroud stalked toward him. Looming over him, he looked up at her in a mixture of fear and anger, "What the hell are you?! No normal person is that fucking fast!"

The Silver Shroud smiled calmly, pressing the muzzle of her gun to his forehead and leaning down. "I told you Sinjin. I am judge and jury. I am death's benefactor. I **am** the _Silver Shroud_!" Letting him process that a moment, she blew his fucking brains out, all over the walls and floor. Taking a moment to savor her success, before remembering Kent, turning and rushing over to him. All her bravado pouring out of her, leaving her shaking from the lose of adrenaline. "Oh my god, Kent are you okay!?" Untying the short ghoul, he got to his feet shakily, "Y-Yeah...but I'm through."

"What?"

"I'm done. This is nothing like the comics. So I quiet. I can't do this." He looked ready to cry, lowering his head shamfully. Lydia bite her lip a little, tasting copper again, but paying it no mind. "If you quiet then the bad guys have won, Kent." The raven tried to be encouraging and for a moment the other looked like he was changing his mind, but shook his head, "Your...your right. But I'm tired...I'm just going to go home."

Kent turned and left her there, alone with her thoughts. Had all this really been worth it? Had she made a difference or just destroyed the dreams of a broken man? "Damn..." She sighed, taking off her hat and running her hand through her hair.

* * *

 

_Nightfall..._

Lydia returned to _Goodneighbor_ , feeling far less happy with her victory against Sinjin than she probably should have. Walking into the State House the guards said nothing, didn't even really look at her. Did they hate her perhaps? Sinjin had come to _Goodneighbor_ and killed some of their own, because of her. The thought hurt, like a blade slicing into her heart, it was a strangely familiar pain. But she couldn't place where she remembered it from. Walking up the stairs she saw Kent was with Hancock in his sitting room, looking a little better, but no more happy than he had earlier.

Her heart did an anguished little twist as she walked into the room, lowering her face so it was better hidden, despite having a distinct feeling Hancock knew who she was. "Sinjin breath's no more." She told him, her free hand curled into a fist at her side. "Good work, once less threat to out happy community. Kent, why the long face? You should be happy! Thanks to you and your friend Goodneighbor is just a whole lot safer!"

"I know. But they tortured me..." Kent stammered, looking at his hands on his knees, not lifting his eyes to either of them. The mayor smiled softly, feeling a little bad for the kid, he never had been a strong fellow. "Who hasn't been tortured once and awhile? The price of throwing down with the man is always a few scars. You shouldn't give in so easily."

Lydia smiled a little, Hancock's words bringing her a little peace of mind, "What would the Shroud be with out his trusty friend Rhet Reinhart?" She threw out in that dramatic voice, lifting her head enough that at least Kent could see her eyes, see the sincerity in them. The smaller ghoul smiled a little, his confidence seeming to return to him, along with that child like excitement. "Yeah, your right! But my crime fighting days are done. Y'know, maybe after I recover more I might have a special project just for you. Keep an ear out on the radio." Kent told her, smiling widely, before getting up and leaving.

The raven watched him go, smiling fondly. "Well, you dove into the abyss and came back out alive." Hancock's voice made her turn her head slightly, looking over her shoulder at him, "How do you feel?" Hazy eyes looked at the floor a moment, "Stronger." Smiling softly, she took off the hat, letting her long hair fall down around her shoulders.

Behind her the ghoul laughed a little, getting to his feet, he came to stand before his little bird. Heart flipping a little at the mental claim he had just laid on her. Unable to keep from feeling like that was a dangerous thing, letting himself get close like this, feel close like he was. He had a lot of enemies. But then again she had made a fair number of enemies herself the last two days hadn't she. Maybe she was just his kind of trouble? Still there was no telling how she might feel about him, being a ghoul and all.

"Here, for taking out Sinjin. Its the least I can do." He said, holding out a sack of caps to her, surprised when she just pushed it back at him. The smile on her lips made his stomach flutter, a small frown on his marring his already ghoulish mug, "Nah, keep it. I was glad to take that bastard out. Besides, I think I owe you rent."

They both laughed at that, feeling at ease with each other, it was nice. Amazing to feel so good around another person, like he could actually let himself trust someone, but his heart still felt uncertain. Only time would tell how this was going to go.

 


	4. Nightmares in Green

_Three Months later...._

Blissfully simple. That's the best way Lydia could describe her life in _Goodneighbor_. Over the past months she had found herself quiet at home among its people, though she had put away the Silver Shroud persona, she still sought justice where it was needed. Between running odd jobs for the citizen's under Hancock's diligent guidance, to taking the occasional shift watching the outer wall of the settlement.

Her living in the attic of the old State House had become a permanent thing, she paid rent for a while, but eventually started noticing that whenever she did she would mysteriously find something new in her room. Either in the form of a nicer bed, which had been a month ago, or in the form of a shiny new sniper rifle a week ago. That rifle had had her name etched nicely into the wood and seemed like a rather personal sort of gift. Confronting Hancock over it, he swore he had no idea about it, told her it must be a secret admirer. She both believed and doubted that. The admiring part seemed legitimate, consider the price of those rifles, the thing about him knowing nothing? Bullshit, he knew everyone and everything that passed through the doors of the State House. But in the end she dropped the subject.

Among becoming a permanent resident of _Goodneighbor_ , she had also become much more confident in her skills as a fighter, though Fahrenheit still treated her like she was an idiot most the time. Which she pointedly ignored as much as she could. She and Kent had become good friends, Lydia made a point of visiting him on a near daily bases when she was not out on jobs. The raven had also made another new friend, a girl name Cait who seemed to be around her age. The brunette was foul mouthed and a drunk, but a good fighter and plenty willing to help her out on her jobs; Considering she technically had her contract. Lydia was still no closer to finding out who she was, but that stopped being so much of a bother. She had learned to live with the knowledge she might never know and seemed to move on from it for the most part.

It was now November, cold enough that the raven had to wear a warmer jacket over her usual sweater. It was a ratty sweater, sure, but she couldn't bring herself to part with it. Like she couldn't part with that stupid Pip-Boy of hers, which she seldom carried for anything other than a damned radio to listen to. Even if the only station was from Diamond City and that stuttering little whiner Travis, it was nothing against him per-say, but she would have loved to listen to something beside the same ten songs every day. It got so annoying she had hit up some drifters on leads to someplace she could find some better music, eventually this had lead her to an old record store that, like Hubris, was over run with ghouls.

Thankfully the lead had succeeded in her finding fair amount of holotape recordings of some much more decent songs than the fifties stuff that Travis played none stop. And with Kent's help had made herself a mix tape to play at her leisure. Among many other things she had gotten a little closer to Hancock, though he was a very busy man she found out, he made time for her in the evening before they would each retire for the night. Aside from talking about random things or playing chess, which neither of them was good at, they would occasionally still have those awkwardly intimate moments. But neither of them seemed to make a move of any sort, it seemed they were both more comfortable as friends. Well she was sure Hancock was at least. Despite knowing so little about him outside his mayoral duties and the fact he had a kinder heart than his reputation let into, she found herself undeniably attracted to the charismatic ghoul. Irma, of all people, seemed to notice it too. The blonde Memory Den owner had brought up to her the way she looked at Hancock when he gave one of his speech's, like a love-struck dove.

_'If you think he's hot and dangerous now, you should have seen him before he was a ghoul.'_

Irma's words passed through the raven's head as she walked around the corner, passing near the tower all those mutants were hiding out in, being extra quiet out of habit and less out of being aware of where she even was. Thinking of Hancock often left her a bit distracted, which was frustrating. A soft sigh slipped her lips, body stopped just around the corner between Goodneighbor's entrance and the street the Mutant's and Gunner's shared, leaning back against the wall and looking up at the clear blue sky over head.

What had Hancock been like before? She wanted to ask him, really wanted to know, but was afraid to pry. He had only told her a little, about how he had been a wild risk taker. But how had he ended up mayor? Or even in _Goodneighbor_? Where was he from?

She was pulled from her mussing by the sound of gruff voices talking, recognizing them as being the green skinned mutants. "Tonight is the night. When darkness falls we shall attack the humans and take them for our meals!" One said excitedly, another laughed deeply, "Yes, we shall awaken the Swan and take it all as brothers."

Lydia frowned, leaning around the corner a bit to listen more, seeing them heading into the tower. We're they talking about _Goodneighbor_? Even if they weren't she didn't like the idea they were planning some sort of attack on someone. Over the past weeks she had taken to counting how many lived in the tower, as far as she could tell it was only about twenty. Not exactly a threatening number. Fahrenheit didn't seemed concerned they lived so close, despite both herself and Hancock pointing out they didn't like it, she seemed fit to play King of the Castle and let the things come to her like that would work. Sure it worked so far, the mutants didn't try anything and the few who did were easily knocked down without so much as a scratch on their defenses.

Crouching down, she snuck closer, getting a better view, she could easily take them out with her rifle. Save Hancock the worry and the rest of the settlers the trouble. End the threat before it started. Taking aim, she began firing off shots, taking them down like flies....At first....

  
 

* * *

 

  
Hancock sat in his sitting room, huffing a Jet as he talked with one of his men about a recent chem deal that had gone sour, apparently one of Marowski's men had gotten ambushed and lost a huge load of supply. He was only half listening, thinking to himself that the dealer was a fucking moron for only sending four guys out on such a huge deal. Heavy footsteps rushed up the stairs, coming into the room, Fahrenheit looked a little too happy for her own good. "You need to come see this, now!"

Hancock frowned deeply, standing up and following the ginger, who ran back outside. She lead him to the lookout in the Rexford's top floor, handing him some binoculars and pointing out the window. "That idiot's done it now!" The mayor looked out the window through the magnifiers, scanning around till he found what she was referring to.

For a moment his heart stopped beating.

Below, on the street between _Goodneighbor_ and street that passed in front of it, was Lydia. Along with an entire army of those damned greenskins. The raven had dropped her rifle and was struggling to take the beasts out with only her knife and shotgun, _**struggling**_ and badly injured, limping from a clearly twisted ankle. But as if this was not enough, a distant roar made him look passed the fight, seeing some more mutants coming...and with some serious back up. "Fuck! Get anyone who can fight out there now Fahrenheit!" He growled, dropping the binoculars and rushing to leave the room, get out there before those things slaughtered his little bird.

"Seriously? You want to risk our lives for one stupid girl?" The ginger scoffed, crossing her arms hotly over her chest, a little surprised at the anger in the mayor's face when he spun around on her. "I want you to risk your life for the people that live here. And right now their lives are at stake Fahrenheit, those mutants are bringing that fucking swan right for us! I don't expect you to attempt to save her, I know you hate her and I'm fine with that. But I'm not going to fucking stand here with my thumb up my ass and watch an innocent person get ripped apart and eaten by those monsters!" He all but screamed at her, before leaving, getting downstairs as fast as his feet could carry him. His boots slamming loudly against the pavement as he ran to the gate, shotgun in hand, frock coat flaring around him like brilliant red wings.

Outside Lydia stood her ground, trapped in a circle of those green nightmares, down on one knee. Blood ran down her face from a nasty head wound, blinding her right eye, her left side feeling swollen and left ankle screaming at her. Vision threatening to fade out completely, breathing erratic. Combat knife somewhere among the throngs of mutants, her only weapon left was her shotgun. She only had the one shot left and a grenade. The raven was tempted, strongly, to pull the pin and blow herself and these wretched things sky fucking high.

But black eyes crossed her mind, nagged at her thoughts, her heart breaking a little at the thought she might never see them again. Then the ground shook a little beneath her, the trembling growing more and more and the mutants parted to reveal the biggest one she had ever seen. At least fifteen feet tall, carrying huge rocks on its back, one ready in its hand.

The Swan let out a deafening roar, lifting its hand to crush her with the rock. She shut her eyes tightly, waiting for it, for the permanence of death....

***BLAM BLAM***

"Don't just sit there, run!" A familiar gruff voice shouted, the mutants turning their attention to the new comer, several of them suddenly falling to an unknown source. Lydia lifted hazy eyes to her savior who came to a stop next to her, firing a few more shots into the fray, before reaching down to take her by the arm, pulling slightly, helping her back to her feet. But she didn't stay up long, she could have if she had leaned on Hancock, but refused to slow him down. "Can you stand?" He asked, obviously more than a little worried and...was that fear in his eyes?

Lydia shook her head, fighting tears, "N-no...I think my ankle's broke, one of them hit it pretty hard with a bat!" She yelled at him over the fighting that had broken out around them, realizing that the settlers of _Goodneighbor_ had come to battle with their mayor. Hancock cursed, gritting his teeth and taking out a mutant that had lunged to try and grab her. The raven let out a pained sound as she put pressure on her leg, the noise was nearly drowned out by the gun shots. "What the fuck were you thinking picking a fight with these things?!" He screamed at her, kneelt beside her to improve his accuracy, his eyes on his foes but his mind on her, tone harsh and biting. It cut her deeper than any blade ever could.

The raven bit her lip, lifting her own gun with trembling hands, her resolve and confidence escaping her in the presence of his anger. "I-I'm sorry! I over heard them talking about a planed attack on Goodneighbor, I thought I could handle them!"

"You should never under estimate a foe! You of all people should fucking know that, look what Sinjin pulled!" He yelled, reloading his gun quickly and fending off more of those nasty nightmares, "Why the hell didn't you just come tell me?!"

"I know okay! I fucked up! I'm sorry! Damnit..." She wiped angry tears from her eyes, smearing the blood on her cheek, before lifting her gun again and trying to focus. The swan was chucking large boulders at the throngs of fighters, not seeming concerned he was killing his own as well as them. The mutants didn't let up either. The fight was looking hopeless, that thing was huge and seemed unstoppable and the greenskins seemed more fearless now that it was at their side...Just like the drifters seemed fearless with Hancock fighting there beside them.

Lydia bite her lip hard, looking away from the image of some of her fellow _Goodneighbor_ residents being slaughtered, feeling like she had really failed everyone. But as she lowered her gaze it alighted upon a sight like a miracle sent from some beneficial deity...Her rifle...and a mini-nuke sitting beside it. A plan, wild and half-baked, formed in her mind. She must have been high as fuck, "Cover me!" She shouted, forcing herself to her feet despite the pain in her ankle and making a dash for the weapons.

"What the hell are you doing!? Lydia!" Hancock watched, horror filing him as Lydia moved out of his reach and out of the small range of his protection. He started to give chase, but was stopped when a mutant crossed his path, forcing him to fight it off.

The raven grabbed the nuke and rifle, turning on the giant Swan. She only had one shot at this, if she failed everyone was done for..."Hey! Ugly, over here!" She called out, getting the Swan's attention with a useless shot to the leg, the lumbering beast storming at her. It threw a boulder and missed, barely, picking up another and readying it. Lydia did the unthinkable, several of her fellows around her stopping, realizing what she was doing and taking off to a good safe distance to watch. Hancock caught only the last second of what was happening, realizing her plan too late, seeing the nuke laying on its side at her feet.

All he could do was watch, the world slower than an UltraJet hit, as she kicked the nuke at the monster who was quickly closing in. It was only six or seven feet from Lydia when the nuke rolled between its legs, unnoticed, and she turned the scope of her rifle on it rather than the beast. He saw her mouth something, but couldn't hear it, making out the words with a sinking heart.

_'Forgive me.'_

A single shot left her rifle, the sound echoing in sudden silence, soaring through the air with purpose....

***BOOOOOOM***

In a flash the beast was blown to bits! Parts of it flying all over, blood and viscera splashing over anyone in a twenty foot radius. The ghoulish mayor paid this little mind, his black eyes searching the rubble and bits of Swan for the familiar raven. _'Please no...I swear to god I'll be a better man, just don't let me lose her now! I've not even told her how I feel damnit!'_ Hancock mentally screamed at himself, running over to the scorched place Lydia had stood a moment ago, looking around wildly. And then he spotted her, a mixture of relief and sickening fear curling in his stomach and running through his veins like daggers, tearing him up from the inside out.

Rushing to her side, Lydia lay limp on a pile of debris and as far as he could tell she wasn't breathing. She had a few obvious burns, but nothing looked to bad. His heart raced as he leaned over her, careful when he lifted her gently into his arms, carrying her from the fight and to the safety of _Goodneighbor's_ walls. Just inside, a relief area was already set up, Amari, Kent, and Irma helping as many injured as they could handle. " _ **AMARI**_! I need your help over here!" He shouted, laying Lydia gently on a bench, one of her arms falling slack off the side of it, the other rested on her stomach. The ghoul struggled to tell if she was even breathing, griping one of her hands tightly as Amari rushed over, "What's happened!?"

"She blew a fucking nuke up six feet from her to kill that son of bitching Swan! Jesus, Amari please! I don't even know if she's alive!" He told the doctor gruffly, finding his hands shaking, feeling completely helpless. A feeling he knew all too well and firmly hated. He could only watch, stepping back, as Amari looked the raven over. A worried frown on her lips, "She's breathing...But I can't tell the extent of the damage, it looks as if she has a collapsed lung. We need to hurry and give her some Stimpak's and Med-X." The dark haired woman explained, it was all the mayor needed, standing and rushing into the state house to retrieve his stash.

He came back and gave it to Amari, watching her administer the chems, curling his fingers in fists at his sides. Trying to remain calm. Beyond the walls the fight was at last ending, cheers erupting in the background, but they were drowned out by his worry. Hancock's focus solely on the raven laying nearly lifeless on the bench before him, his back hitting the low stone wall near the entrance, finding himself sliding to sit on the ground out of the way.

Amari sat back, getting to her feet after several minutes, "Give her some time, she should be out of any immediate danger, but she will need rest. At least for a day or two, even with the Stimpak's her body has a lot to heal." The brunette told him, to which he only nodded, taking off his hat and running a hand over his bald head. Letting out a deep breath he didn't realize he was holding.

The mayor moved sit down on the ground beside the bench, watching the raven's semi-peaceful face, waiting. He fished a Jet from his pocket and inhaled it, leaning his head on the surface of the seat, near her waist. "Jesus...you called me a risk taker..." The words were mumbled softly, mostly to himself, his black eyes falling shut. Around them the settlers began milling back into _Goodneighbor_ , chattering animatedly about the fight, some about the inevitable clean up of those that had perished, but mostly it was joyous ruckus that filled the air. Fahrenheit wandered his way, stopping before him, her shadow casting over him like a grim specter. The ghoul said nothing to her, not even acknowledging her. "So...I'm arranging a party tonight in honor of our little savior. Thanks to her we won this fight. She saved us."

Hancock's black eyes opened, lifting to look at her, a small smirk on his thin lips. "Oh yeah...? Finally decided she's worth trusting?"

"Don't get cocky. I'm just acknowledging a decisive victory."

The mayor laughed softly, that was as close to a yes as he was getting. Glancing over at the soft moan that slipped Lydia's lips, his eyes softened, "Mornin' Sunshine..." He said softly, sitting up a bit to lean into her view, smiling calmly, but his heart was still going crazy in his chest. Damn when exactly did he get so attached? "How are you feeling...?" The question held hesitation, worry and something she couldn't place.

"...like a swollen bruise that got chewed on and shit out and then slathered back in place...Did you just call me Sunshine?" The raven frowned in confusion, mind a little foggy, she sat up slowly. Hancock made a face, getting to his feet in record time and trying to stop her, "Hey, take it easy! You need to rest!"

"I'm okay..." She replied slowly, groggily rubbing her face with both hands, trying to elevate the fog cast over her consciousness. Running a hand through her tangled black hair, she glanced over at the crowd milling about, glad to see most of the residents were alive, a little worse for wear, but alive. "Did we win?"

"Yeah, thanks to that crazy stunt you pulled. What the hell were you thinking?"

She looked away, frowning deeply, "I'm starting to think I only cause trouble here...maybe I should move on..." The words were a gentle whisper, but he caught them and they ignited the anger he had felt earlier like a gasoline soaked forest. "The hell your leaving! You think I'm going to let you walk out of here after all this?!" He didn't even realize he was shouting until he saw the tears rolling down her face and regretted his harshness a second later, reaching up to take her hand, but she jerked away from him. That hurt, hurt like getting stabbed in the fucking chest with a white hot blade.

Gritting his teeth, he grabbed her wrist, kneeling there on the ground, leaning in a bit so those near by couldn't really hear what was going on. People were already staring, "Lydia, I'm sorry, alright? I don't blame you for what you did...I just...I was scared okay?" He told her in a soft, gentle voice, hoping no one was listening because this was not like him to admit things like what he was saying to anyone. Not even Fahrenheit. And it looked really bad against his reputation, but to hell with it! This, no, she was more important than his appearance to those around him. The raven sniffled a little, biting back a soft sob, not meeting the gaze of those black eyes. "W-why?" The questions was a chocked whisper, hot tears cascading down her pale, blood stained features.

Hancock took a deep breath, opening his mouth to just say it, if only people could just learn to fuck off. "There's the guest of honor!" Came Kent's voice, the smaller ghoul walking over to them, "Hey, Lydia, Irma asked me to bring you to the den. Said she wants to get you ready for the party tonight!" The raven swallowed the lump in her throat, wiping her face with the back of her other hand, Hancock sighing heavily and letting her go. The Mayor walked off without another word, leaving them there, screaming at himself mentally for being a fucking coward.

And Lydia just sat there, not looking at his retreating form, the fall of her hair hiding the pain in her blue eyes. This felt like some kind of weird rejection, like the lie she'd been believed had just been shown to her, leaving her feeling like less than a dog turd on the street. Why the fuck did that feel so familiar? Like this pain was one she knew. Swallowing she pushed the pain away, lifting her face with a winning smile to Kent, who seemed to by it easily enough. "Yeah, lead the way."

  
 

* * *

 

  
Kent had had to help Lydia even get to the den, the Med-X had numbed most the pain, but she was still shaky and unstable. The raven sat calmly on Irma's chase, relaxing, recovering the rest of her consciousness. Irma was babbling about the party going on tonight at the Third Rail, celebrating their victory against the greenskins. "Oh, sugar we just have to get you ready! You need to be presentable for the party!"

Lydia made a face, "No offense Irma...but I'm really not feeling too swift. Do I really need to go?" The blonde woman looked shocked, "Of course you have to! It's in your honor after all!" The raven sighed heavily, laying her head back on the chase. Maybe if she took a page from Hancock's book and got really fucking high it wouldn't be so bad...

"I guess...But what am I going to wear? I don't have a lot of cloths. And the nicest thing I have is the Silver Shroud costume..." She pointed out, watching Irma warily as she left the room a moment, a pleasant silence passing over everything. Calmly she closed her eyes, wishing she could just sleep this off in peace. "You can wear this! I'm more than certain it'll fit you."

Hazy blue alighted on the blonde woman holding a lovely red silk dress, it was plain with simple straps, not really fancy but nice. She actually liked it. And the thought of wearing it, of Hancock seeing her in it, made her heart flutter wildly. Her cheeks felt warm. Would he like it? Be impressed? The hope faded almost as soon as it came, a frown marring her lips and her eyes taking on a dark look. Thinking about earlier in the entrance square, "What's the point?"

"The point is, if you want to catch his eye your going to have to try harder to get his attention sugar."

"We're friends and its never going to be more than that Irma...I'm getting my hopes up for nothing." The raven sat up, groaning a little at the dull pain in her ribs, getting to her feet and walking around a little. Trying to loosen her tight muscles and perhaps alleviate some of the pain. "You don't know that. The mayor has a lot of demons in his past, its not easy for him to admit how he really feels."

Lydia looked up at the blonde, mulling over her words, wondering about those demons. Would he allow her to chase them away? "Yeah. Alright, I'll wear it. But I'm seriously going to need some more chems if anyone expects me to do anything outside sitting..." She trailed off, getting a little dizzy suddenly, staggering into a chair that was thankfully close. Irma laughed a little, "Of course sugar, we just didn't want you over dosing, Mayor'd have all our asses if that happened. I'm sure its safe to take something more."

 

* * *

 

  
_Three hours later...._

Hancock sat in the VIP lounge, him and this guy MacCready who had been hanging out down there the last few months. The kid was nice enough, little dangerous, but smart enough to know who to not fuck with. The mayor was nursing a beer, still pretty annoyed with himself for earlier. But he had a plan to fix everything, as hair brained as it was. The plan was simple, stupid maybe, involving getting Lydia to try some Day Tripper with him.

It was always easier to talk when he was higher than normal and if she was high and the stuff worked the way it should, she would be bubbly and easy to manage. Thinking on it now it sounded like he was planning something much worse. Growling a little, he took a long drink of his beer, glaring at MacCready who had not shut up since the ghoul had sat down. What he wouldn't give for something stronger, but Charlie had run out of almost everything before he arrived.

The ex-gunner whistled all of a sudden, "Well damn if that's not the prettiest thing I've ever seen..." He mused like a drunken idiot, looking goo-goo eyed passed Hancock to the door of the lounge. The ghoul turned around, black eyes going a little wide at the sight before him. Lydia stood there, cheeks stained red, lips glossy and skin softly sun kissed. Wearing the loveliest little red number he had ever seen. "I'm going to be really fucking pissed if this ends up being a Jet flash back later..." He mumbled under his breath, getting gracefully to his feet, despite being pretty drunk and stoned already. Then again when wasn't he drunk or stoned?

"H-hey...Charlie said you'd be in here." The raven said, coming farther into the room, her hands nervously gripping the dress around her knees. Her heart wouldn't stop racing and she felt like she might throw up she was so scared all of a sudden. Facing raiders and mutants was easy...facing the man you had a crush on in a sexy red dress that just made you feel naked was really damn hard!

They stood a foot apart, just staring at each other, neither sure what to say. Finally Hancock cleared his throat, "So...I brought a bit of a surprise from my stash if your interested in getting a little celebratory high." Lifting a bottle into sight so she could see, smirking in that seemingly easy going way of his. The raven almost laughed, nodding, "Sure, can't hurt at this point. I took enough Med-X to knock a Swan out."

The costume wearing ghoul almost cringed at that, nearly forgetting she was still pretty injured, Amari had warned him she needed to take it easy a few days to keep from aggravating anything. He was starting to second guess this whole thing, still smiling in that easy way, but his black eyes were worried. Handing her a pill, they swallowed the chem together.

It didn't take long before Lydia let out a small giggle, the sound adorable in Hancock's opinion, but he wasn't telling her that. Out in the rest of the bar Magnolia was playing a slow song, a sweet little tune about two people who fell in love and almost lost their minds trying to raise two wild children. The raven before him swayed a little, clearly recognizing the song as she mumbled the words of the chorus, her eyes falling shut and face so peaceful. "Mother Earth and Father Time, fell in love over Appalachian Wine. Hit a rough spill and almost lost their minds. Raised a little hell before they fell in line."

The ghoul could have listened to her sing for hours, it was so calming, even more beautiful than Magnolia's voice and that was saying something. But someone just had to ruin it, "Oh jeez I hate love songs!" MacCready spouted, getting up and walking from the room, mumbling about requesting something else.

The two watched him go, both frowning a bit, "He wouldn't know a good song if it shot him in the asshole." Lydia said on a sigh, lifting a hand to run through her recently combed hair, the black strands curled in little ringlets around her face and shoulders. She was startled when a warm hand touched hers, running through it as well. Black eyes met blue, "I was wondering...maybe we could dance, if your feeling up to it?"

Surprise crossed her features, before melting into one of bliss, nodding softly. Hancock lay a gentle hand on her waist, lacing their fingers in the other, gazing down at Lydia as they danced slowly to the song. "And hear I didn't know you could dance, I was under the impression you weren't the type for it." Lydia commented, enjoying the moment, not thinking of other things. They were lost in one another for some time, before the mayor opened his mouth to speak again, "Earlier...I wanted to apologize for yelling at you, I know you were doing what you thought was right. And I'm glad you wanted to try and protect this place. I was...I was just scared when I saw you out there in that mess alone."

Lydia looked away from him, frowning a little, "I still don't get why you were scared...I mean...I'm nobody." Blue eyes turned hard, her mood shifting to a heaviness she hadn't wanted to think about, she had been so enjoying their dancing.

"I was terrified I was going to lose you. Believe it or not, but you...you mean so much more to me than you could ever know." His voice was soft, only loud enough for her to hear, his face so close to hers, as if he was going to kiss her. And he wanted to, more than he had ever wanted anything in his entire life. The red on her cheeks darkened, those hazy eyes fluttering a little. The gap slowly began to close...

"Awe, how cute~!"

The two parted, quickly, backing a full foot from each other in embarrassment. MacCready was in the doorway, looking way too happy with himself. "I-I need some air..." Lydia murmured, rushing from the room, red dress flaring around her ankles. The mayor sighed heavily, he had been so damn close! Looking up at the drunken mercenary, his eyes threatening, "I think you've had enough for the night."

 

* * *

 

  
Lydia stepped out into the cool night air, it was shockingly warmer than was normal for that time of the year, but nice. One arm wrapped loosely around her waist, her hand cover her mouth and half hiding the giddy smile on her lips. He had almost kissed her. So did Hancock like her in the same way after all? It looked promising. A little laugh bubbled up in her throat as she did a little spin, wincing a bit afterward, the chems were wearing off already.

Mumbling an annoyed curse, she moved to go back inside, deciding she might get a drink and relax. The sound of a whistle caught her ears, making her frown curiously, walking to one side of the state house and then the other. Toward the gate she saw someone in the dimness, smoking a cigarette. It surprised her only because she had thought everyone was down in the bar partying. Genuinely out of kind curiosity, she went to see if the person was maybe just nervous about the crowd or even grieving a friend's death, wanting to try and talk them into joining everyone else.

"Pardon me...looking a bit lonely out here all alone. Quiet the party going down below." She said with a bright little smile, crossing the square toward them, when they turned. Vaguely recognizing the person, something tickling the back of her mind as they turned to look at her with bright glowing eyes and a pale torn up face. "Well I'll be damned! It's you!" The guy said in shock, dropping the smoke, jaw falling open.

The raven felt an inkling of nervousness, not sure how to take his reaction. Was it good or bad? "Y-You know me?" She asked curiously, unable to just run away, at first. But he grabbed her arm in one of his, which was a skeletal machine like one, he was a Synth? The raven knew little about them, but she knew what everyone told her and that was that Synth's were trouble, that they kidnapped people who would never be seen again. Jerking away, she turned and rushed off into the shadows, ignoring the machine yelling after her, turning the corner of the state house and heading for the hotel or rather the alley beside it.

Backing into the blackness, watching the mouth of the alley, eyes wide and heart hammering. She was unarmed. Only wearing that stupid dress. And Amari had already told her no fighting or even anything strenuous, said she could really cause some serious damage right now. Serious as in fatal.

But the attack came not from the front, but in the form of a rag being pressed over her nose and mouth. A rough voice whispering in her ear as the world faded out, "Time for a little old fashioned revenge..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to edit this from my cell, so if it's weird I'm sorry. The song mentioned was Appalachian Wine by eleventyseven.


	5. Paralyzed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In case anyone's uncomfortable, there is rape in this chapter, just a warning. Skip the second section to avoid it.

Kent came rushing into the VIP lounge looking haggard and pale, "Mayor Hancock! Sir! I just found this note on the door of the den! I-I was just headin' back to get somethin' a-and, ah here!" The short ghoul said in a breathless rush, crossing the room to meet the frock coat wearing mayor. A deep frown marred the younger mans face as he read the note, his black eyes going impossibly dark, the barest hint of a white-yellow glow in them. "Fucking hell! Was no one patrolling?!" He shouted, marching into the rest of the club, the music cutting to a halt at his outburst. Everyone seemed confused, wordlessly Fahrenheit took the note and read it allowed.

" _ **We have your little house pet. If you want to see her again come alone to the Shamrock Taphouse**_...Shit, I didn't even notice her go outside. What are you going to do?" The ginger asked, looking at the mayor, for once a little worried about that brat. If something happened to her...God save everyone, because she was almost certain Hancock would tear them all apart.

"Gather anyone still able...I know these types, they'll kill us both if I go in alone, so we'll ambush them. I'll make it look like I'm alone and you come in behind me from any entrances you can, quietly." He said coldly, before walking upstairs and out of the bar, going to prepare for a fight.

* * *

 

_The Shamrock Taphouse..._

Lydia groaned softly, swore as hell all over, lifting her aching head and trying to move. Jerking her left hand, she discovered she as attached to something. Looking up, the raven discovered that handcuffs connected her to a metal bedframe, heart beginning to race in panic. Sitting up, she jerked on the metal fiercely, trying to free herself. Heart beat speeding up to a panicked tempo, unable to free herself, she struggled to recall how she even got there in the first place.

"Tsk tsk tsk...Such a naughty little kitten trying to escape from its master."

Hazy blues shot up, seeing a familiar yet unfamiliar face. She didn't know the mans name, but recognized him as one of Finn's little friends that had tried to beat her to death before. The raven's stomach twisted, frantically jerking her hand, the cuff cutting into her wrist. Growling, she looked up at them angrily, "Fucking cowards, afraid I'll kick your asses barehanded?" She challenged without considering the consequences, the guy laughed. "Oh, kitty has claws huh? Mmm, y'know its going to be a bit before that dumbass comes to get you, maybe I should have a little fun with you first..." He sneered, dirty blonde hair falling into brown eyes, behind him another man appeared. This man was burly with a mess brown hair and dark green eyes, "Hey, I want in on this action. She's a hot little piece of ass..."

The raven shook, eyes terrified, "S-stay away! I mean it! I'll-I'll-MF!" One of them slapped her, hard enough to bust her lip, blood trickling down her chin, the taste of copper thick on her tongue. "You'll what? Face it bitch, your screwed. Heh. And that's about to be literal." The blonde laughed, grabbing her around the neck and squeezing until her eyes watered from the need for air, "Tell me little kitten, are you a virgin? I bet you are...Awe your shaking."

"Hehe, lets warm her up then." The dark haired one smirked, the two of them closing in. On instinct she started to fight, kicking and screaming, at least until one pinned her legs and the other punched her in the gut. Lydia coughed, spitting up blood all over the dirty mattress and her clothes. Rough hands pushed up her dress, the touch bruising against her legs and she couldn't stop the whimper that left her, trying to get away from them. "Please...please don't..."

The blonde cuffed her other hand to the railing on the opposite of the first, that sneer never leaving his face as he pulled out a switchblade, "Mmm...damn its hot when they beg..." Tears slipped down her cheeks, continuing to try and escape them, even if it was futile. The dark haired one climbed onto the bed, already undoing his pants,  laughing sickly as drool dribbled down his chin. The raven kicked him, hard in the groin, smiling for a fraction of a second when he crumbled over holding himself.

The cold metal of a blade was pushed to her throat, cutting a thin line, the blondes face hovering over hers. "Now now kitten, play nice or I'm just going to slit your throat here and now and you'll never get to see that disgusting ghoul again."

Swallowing thickly, hands fists above her, nails cutting into her palms. She focused on the ceiling, on the pain in her palms, anything was better than what was happening. Her knees were pulled up slightly until the other guy recovered, grabbing her ankles painfully tight, yanking her legs open. Another whimper escaped her, soft and nearly unnoticeable, she did the only thing she could. Try not to cry. Try not to scream or beg. She didn't want them to have that satisfaction. That blade slide lightly over her skin, running over her chest and down her stomach, grazing her bare leg where her dress had already been pushed up to her hips, but never actually cutting the cloth. Lydia closed her eyes tightly, trying to pretend she was somewhere else, some where happy and safe.

And for a second, a bare little moment the image of a nursery appeared in her mind. Painted in blue, a simple crib, a tiny infant gurgling and smiling up at her. A man with dark hair and bright green eyes, familiar eyes...Heart skipping a beat, trying to grasp the image, trying to remember where she had seen it from. And then it was gone, pain, sharp and heavy, shattering the simple moment of sanctuary.

The blonde had cut into her hip when he used his knife to slice off her undergarments, tossing them aside. Wet lips pressed against hers and she bit down, the blonde screaming out, jerking back. "Little bitch!" He sucker punched the pale girl, her cheek swelling almost at once, nose snapping from the shock wave. Lydia gasped, panting a little, blood pouring down her face.

Horrified, she watched as he undid his pants, pulling out his already thick erection and stroking it lewdly. He held her knees up, forcing her to reveal her most private place. And again she tried to struggle, to no avail, swallowing a scream when he shoved himself into her with a painfully rough thrust. His buddy was standing now, stroking himself and watching as she was rapped, grinning like a fool. The raven bit her lip to keep from making a sound, squeezing her eyes shut. Nothing could hide the tears, pouring free and hot down her face....

* * *

 

An hour later Hancock arrived at the old bar, kicking down the door with a booted foot, the wood ripping from its hinges and splintering across the floor. He was expecting a few armed men. What he got was a mannequin holding another note in the middle of the room. Stalking across the room, he lifted the paper, reading it. Letting out an angry scream, he stormed back out, not even stopping to find Fahrenheit and his men as he rushed back to _Goodneighbor_.

Those bastards had tricked him.

The note drifted to the ground...

_'Oops, did you think it would be so easy? We figured you would take everyone able with you to meet us, we're not stupid. We'll meet you back in Goodneighbor._

_P.S._

_You should consider exterminating your rats.'_

It really wasn't that far to the gate of his beloved home, the door swinging on its hinges. The anger in his soul reaching a near boiling point as he stormed into the state house, stalking up the stairs, shotgun ready. His black eyes glowing with faint white rings. Before him stood two men, between them, toward the back of the room, was a crumbled figure. Sitting on her knees, head down and hair covering her face from his view, red dress spilling around her. The blood stains on it did not escape his notice as he looked to one of the men, "You'll fucking pay for this." He growled, about to pull the trigger, but the click of a readying gun made him stop.

The second man had a pistol to Lydia's head, pressed against her tangled black hair. The raven lifted her head a little, gazing at him through the strands, hazy eyes hollow. Devoid of anything but pain and shame. It was a painful fucking sight to see someone like her, someone who had done so much good and was so strong, to be reduced to this. The blonde man laughed, "I don't think so. See this is how its going to work. You killed our friend, so we're going to kill her. Right. In. Front. Of. **_You_**."

The ghoul lowered his weapon, smirking a little, but it held no amusement. His eyes worried and furious, "Alright, I get it. Your mad about Finn. But she's innocent in this...I'm the one who stabbed him, remember? So just...just let her go. Ya got me cornered, no bodyguards or nothin'. Ain't like I'm gonna run."

A small, whispered voice struggled to speak, Lydia shaking her head. "...Please...don't..." She managed, voice hoarse, "...They'll kill us both either way...so...just...just let me say good bye. You've got the drop on us, we **_can't_** run."

The blonde mulled it over a moment, "Alright, out of the kindness of my heart I guess I can allow that. Thomas." The dark haired man stepped back a foot or two, but his gun stayed trained on her. Hancock grit his teeth, crossing the room until he was standing before her, gun left abandoned on the floor. Dropping to his knees, he pulled her against him in a hug, "Shit...I'm so sorry Lydia...I never thought it would come to this..." He whispered, fighting his own emotions, trying to at least appear strong for her. He could tell she was scared, she was trembling in his hold. Carefully he untied her hands, feeling her reach out and hug him back, wetness soaking through to his shirt, "Its not...not your fault..." the raven chocked out softly, clearing her throat, "Listen..." Her voice was so low he almost couldn't hear her. "I have a plan...Do you trust me?"

Gently he nodded, pretending to duck his face into her shoulder. Her hands skated behind his back, exploring his torso in a way that would have seemed rather affectionate. Under different circumstances he would have been turned on by such touches, but right now he was only praying her plan, whatever it was, worked. The mayor started to ask her, but without much warning she pressed her lips to his. Hancock's heart skipped a beat, eyes going wide a moment, mind scrambling to understand what she was even doing. Lydia's hands searched his torso and behind him the men laughed, "Look, the little whore hasn't had enough with us, now she's gotta have that disgusting wretch!"

The mayor didn't get a chance to process that statement, feeling the raven's hands stop, realizing too late as she shoved him aside that she had found his knife. Lydia launched herself from the floor at Thomas, his gun going off, blood spattering across the room as the bullet tore through her hip. The raven slit the mans throat, stabbing him several times, before turning on the other man. She didn't even seem to notice the wound, was it the adrenaline or...Hancock noticed on the floor in front of him, where she had been sitting, was an open white box and a used Psycho. Jesus, she had managed to get into his stash when everyone was occupied?! The ghoul had a new found respect for her. Getting to his feet, ready to aid in the fight, but she seemed to have it handled.

The blonde's eyes went wide, hands fumbling for his revolver. "Shit!"

"I'LL TEAR YOU APART!" She screamed, tackling the man, a shot going off. Grazing her cheek. Hancock picked up the pistol the dead man had dropped, fully intending on shooting the other man. But Lydia and the blonde tangled, rolling all over, no room for a clean shot. The man scrambled to his feet, trying to escape. The ghoul aimed, but the raven cut into the way at the last second, leaping at the escaping man. They flew, right over the railing, rolling loudly down the stairs and into the basement with the resounding sound of splintering wood from a table they broke upon impact.

"Ooohh...." The raven groaned as a wave of pain washed over her from her ribs, no doubt she had aggravated previous wounds that had not had time to properly heal. Sitting up on her hands, pushing the pain down as best she could, gripping Hancock's knife. A foot or so away lay the blonde man, who was groggily trying to sit up. Blue eyes flashed, adrenaline clouding any pain she might have been in as she launched herself at the man again. This time she pinned him, shoving the knife into his chest with a sickeningly wet sound, over and over. His blood splashed across her face, staining her hands and the dress, sticking in her hair. So focused on turning the man to mush, not noticing the booted feet rushing down the stairs or the sounds of shouting and doors opening above. The raven didn't even realize she was screaming... 

Hancock almost cringed at the sight. Lydia looked so...feral. Like an animal, scared and cornered, tearing its attacker to pieces wildly. Cautiously, he grabbed the hand holding the knife, positioning himself behind her. She screamed at him, the sound frightened and furious, but he only wrapped his arms tightly around her to try and calm her, pulling her off the corpse of the blonde. "Stop, **_stop_**! It's over! He's dead!" He yelled over her, feeling her fight a moment more, before a chocked sob left her.

Her body shook violently against his, "It's going to be okay...just calm down, no one's going to hurt you now. Your safe with me..." He mumbled soothingly into her ear, gently coaxing her to her feet, pulling her away from the scene. Helping her upstairs, getting about halfway before she tripped and fell on her knees between the first and second story, sobbing softly. "N-no...its not okay...its not..." She cried, doubling over, hands gripping her head, pulling at her hair. "It was...it was me or him..."

Hancock just held her, pulling her against his chest and stroking her hair, frowning. He had failed. Again. He couldn't protect her, couldn't save her the pain. Just like...Why was he always coming up short? "Lydia. Please...I...I'm sorry." The words were mumbled against black hair, dark eyes shutting as he listened to her sobs, heart breaking at the anguished sounds. He need not ask her to know well enough what those men had done, the evidence was noticeable now. The way she was acting, the stains and the distinctly salty smell on her clothes.

He only wished he had been the one to gut that bastard.

They stayed there some time until she passed out from the stress, panting heavily, going slack in his hold. He was careful when he moved her, not wanting to disturb her rest, she needed it. All he could do now was pray she was going to be okay, not just physically either. Fahrenheit and the others had returned by now, standing in his office, a couple of his guys already cleaning things up. "Someone go get Amari..." He demanded, not looking to see who went, just knowing someone would. Hancock walked into his own room, laying the unconscious girl on his bed, before straightening to look at his ginger haired second in command. "I want the patrols doubled for awhile...I dunno if these guys had more buddies or not. And I want you to do a little...exterminating."

"Oh yeah? Who am I offing?"

"Dunno...But I know we got a rat. Need to snuff it out before it breeds."

* * *

 

It was barely two days before Lydia was up and moving again, sneaking out early in the morning, not wanting to wake Hancock who had been at her bed side the entire time. Turns out she had indeed agrevated her injuries, Amari had been much more firm this time about her staying in bed. The raven had, only because the mayor refused to let her leave. She had found him asleep at last that second day, feeling incredibly guilty about making him worry over someone like her. Lydia felt like less than nothing, after what those men had done, like she was used up garbage that should be discarded in a gutter to rot. And the worst of it was that she was scared that Hancock might find out about it all, what he might think of her if he knew what she had let them do.

The vary thought made her physically sick.

"Hey, you! Want a job?" Lifting her eyes at the voice, she looked around, realizing she had wandered into the alley behind the shops, where there was a set of doors. From a hatch a pair of eyes gazed out at her and she frowned, moving closer, wondering if this was the Bobbi who supposedly owned the place back there. "Sure...?"

"Don't ask a lot of question and there's a ton of caps in it for ya. Now come on." The doors opened to reveal a short woman, a ghoul like so many in Goodneighbor. Lydia followed her inside the building, feeling only a small amount of wariness and uncertainty. But at least this served as a distraction. Anything was better than the dark thoughts crossing her mind, the little voices telling her how worthless she was. How much air she wasted.

They went down a flight or two of stairs, into a basement area, "You'll be doing a bit of diggin'. The others are already in the tunnel, so why don't you go help 'em out." The raven raised a brow, wondering what the tunnel was for and almost asking, but decided to go along with it. For now anyway. Passing through another door, into what was once a closet, there was a dirt tunnel that lead into the sewers. Two men were busy at work, but by the time she arrived had broken through a wall into another room. Following them, not really paying mind to their idle chatter.

At least not until they pushed past her, running out screaming. Watching them a moment, confused, she went into the room and took a look around. It didn't take long to assess the problem, shrieking in surprise as a huge Mirelurk came rushing toward her. Cursing, she pulled her rifle from the leather holster across her shoulder, taking aim. A clean shot to the things face and it went down. Only for two more to appear from the murky shadows.

"What the hell is going on in my tunnel?" The ghoul woman's voice cut in just as the raven took out the last one, turning on her with a glare, "Dude! That room was filled with Mirelurks!"

"Damn...Well since you stayed I guess your getting a promotion. What do you say to being my new gun?"

Lydia gave the woman an annoyed look, before sighing. Distractions, she reminded herself. "Fine, whatever." The woman smiled, "Good, I've got some errands to run in Diamond City, I'll meet you there at the Noodle Shop to discuss our next move." The raven took a deep breath, she knew the settlement, it was huge and hard to miss. But hadn't ever gone in, at least not that she remembered. The very thought of it grated at her nerves like nails on chalk boards, but Bobbi wasn't giving her an option. 

It was at least an hour and a half walk to Diamond City, so it was still early in the day when she arrived. Feeling a small pang of nostalgia as she walked into the large open place beyond the tall walls, walking down the long stairs toward the market. The Noodle Shop was easy enough to spot, given the large sign above it. Walking around the open air shop, she tried to find her new employer, trying remember why this place seemed familiar. Something about it was very off putting too. 

Not seeing Bobbi, she sighed, wondering if she would have to wait long. But someone in a mask approached her after a moment, "Hey, its me. You took long enough gettin' here. Now let me tell you what we're after. You see that glass office up there? That's the mayors office and he's sittin on a huge strong room. Just full of caps for the taking." Lydia raised a brow, frowning deeply, distracted. "What are you wearing that for?"

"Are you stupid? My kind aren't welcome in Diamond City." Bobbi scoffed, no doubt making a face at her from under the disguise.

Lydia made a face of her own, looking around, a bit surprised when she realized there actually **weren't** any ghouls there. "What the...hell? Why?" She asked incredulously, looking to Bobbi whose face she couldn't see, but her silence was enough to say she really must think the raven was an idiot. "Look lets just get our business done and get out of here. I found our tech guy, names Mel, he can build a bot to fix any problem. And he's right here in Diamond City. But he's in lock up. I need you to get him out." She explained, "Bribe the guards, get the key, threaten someone, I don't care how ya do it. Just get it done."

"If you really think we need the guy I guess." Lydia replied, shrugging a bit, before following the direction Bobbi gave her to where lock up was. A little surprised such a supposedly great settlement even needed such a thing, then again what kind of settlement had a no ghoul policy? That was just shitty. Really, what did they have against ghouls? All the ones she knew were wonderful. Kent. Daisy. Hancock...A blush dusted her cheeks and she pushed the thoughts down with a dejected sigh, crossing her arms over her chest.

* * *

 

An hour later she had gotten Mel released, which was strangely easy, the guards hadn't fussed too much over it. Apparently Mel was only a day from release anyway. Afterward she found herself standing in the pathway between the lock up and the backs of the shops in the market, getting that strange feeling of familiarity again. Like she had been there before...

Blue eyes caught sight of bright red neon, down the way from her. It had an arrow pointing to the right and the words _'Detective'._

_'The devils in the details.'_

A pang of pain shot through her temple causing her to flinch, lifting a hand to rub the afflicted area, narrowing her eyes at the neon sign as if it was its fault. Curiosity got the better of her in the end, finding herself walking toward the alley way and following the area to the end of another street, discovering a second sign, _'Valentine Detective Agency'_.

_'Not that I don't love the irony of the reverse damsel routine...'_

Another pang, a second flinch and a soft grumble. Stepping into the small office, that smelled distinctly metallic and smoky, like a heavy smoking mechanic worked there or something. Glancing around, the room was scattered with paper, cigarette butts, and files of what she could only assume were case files. Footsteps made her look to her right, seeing a young woman appear, open her mouth to speak and then shut it. Her face going from pleasant to shock in less than a few seconds, before she was running back from where she came, screaming for someone named 'Nicky'.

Startled by the outburst, Lydia turned tail and ran out of the office, assuming the reaction was a bad one. Maybe she was wanted, was that why she was suddenly so scared? Rushing down the street and past the market, heading for the stairs, she heard someone yelling after her but didn't turn to see who it was.

* * *

 

Back in _Goodneighbor_ she did finally stop to breath, heart pounding so hard it was a wonder if didn't give out, chest on fire, reminding her she was still supposed to be taking it easy. Technically. But her restless heart kept her from that. Lydia stood at the mouth of Bobbi's place, doubled over panting, wiping the sweat from her face. "Damn...Thought I'd never loose that guy..."

"Loose what guy?" Came a familiar, gruff voice. The raven jumping nearly a foot and whirling around to face the good Mayor himself, blushing darkly at being caught. "Scratch that, where have you been all day? Amari says you should still be resting..." The tall ghoul crossed his arms over his chest, dark eyes narrowed a bit in suspicion. It didn't escape her notice that he looked tired still, upset as he stared her down.

"I...I was doing a job, small job, nothing crazy. And I'm fine, I feel great. I don't like laying around. Staying still means dying." She pointed out hastily, crossing her own arms, trying to seem more intimidating or maybe convincing to the man. Though it appeared to have failed, it was pointless trying to lie to Hancock, but he didn't push the issue much. "Fine, but just be careful. Please? Besides, that staying still crap only applies outside these walls, your _safe_ here." He sounded like he didn't really believe that, like something was eating at him. Maybe it was why he was out and about for once and not in his office...?

He walked off slowly, hands in his pockets looking more than a little broody. Lydia felt a bit guilty about that. Knowing full well he had been worried about her. Her stomach turning a little, wondering why he still cared. After all the trouble she had caused. With a heavy sigh, she went to join Bobbie and Mel in the tunnel, unable to shake her worry and guilt now.

Below, Mel had brought some sort of robot that could blast through the dirt twice as fast, which begged the question. Why did Bobbi still need her? But the ghoul insisted she did, that there was still a ton of caps waiting for them all. So she followed, quickly discovering there were far worse things in their way than Mirelurks. Hence Bobbi's need of her. Gun indeed.

They ran into everything from radroaches, to, of all things, those weird humanish monsters. Bobbi informed her, like she was a moron, that they too were ghouls like herself. Except these had become feral, which happened from time to time to ghouls with weaker minds or bodies or who were exposed to more radiation than the others and couldn't take it. It made the raven wonder, why some ghouls could live hundreds of years totally normal and others went crazy, what was the trigger? Was there a certain threshold of time before it was impossible? OR did they just turn one way or the other in the beginning?

All this made her feel guilty about killing them. Realizing they had once been innocent people, now reduced to murderous beasts. It weirdly reminded her of herself, but she didn't understand why. They continued on, passing from old subway tunnels to warehouse basements and so on. In one section of tunnel, no sooner was the path opened, than the Geiger Counter on her _Pip-Boy_ began clicking like mad in her bag.

"You smooth skins should be wary, the rads don't effect me, but if your not careful we'll all look like triplets." Bobbi joked, leading the way into the room, "Great, sounds like fun." Mel mumbled in annoyance. There were barrels of radioactive material all over the place in the next room, apparently they had been in the middle of shipping before ending up here. This room too was crawling in feral ghouls.

"Why does it have to be feral ghouls? I'd rather it be raiders...at least they know what their doing!" Lydia growled softly, fore going the use of her rifle in favor of her shotgun and knife. She didn't even realize she was standing too close to a group of those barrels till she felt the wave of nausea, vision swimming a bit. Hazy eyes looking around, locating the source of the warm feeling against her back, realizing what it was and moving away. In her distraction she didn't notice one of the feral's coming at her till it was latched to her arm, tearing viciously at it with its teeth like an animal. Crying out, Lydia lifted her combat knife, stabbing it in the neck and jerking her wrist to the side. Severing its spine, mouth going slack along with its body, which crumbled at her feet; Pool of slightly glowing blood forming around it.

Mel was already blasting a hole through the wall into the next area, Bobbi following him through. The raven mumbled soft curses to herself, there had better be a mountain of caps on the other side of this or she was going to blow that woman's head off. Digging in her bag, she located something to wrap the bite on her arm, a scrap of clothe she had found a while back and kept for no real reason. Well it turned out to be useful after all.

"Are we getting close Bobbi? Because I'm starting to think this whole thing is bullshit." Lydia narrowed her eyes at the woman, who straightened, "Yeah, we're nearly there. Just hold your britches."

Sure enough, two blasts, more ferals and one glowing one later they found themselves beneath the crumbling foundation of some kind of warehouse. Mel looked skeptical, "You sure this is it? I'm pretty sure Diamond City should be...a little more north of here."

Bobbi crossed her arms, "If I say its Diamond City then it is. Have a little faith in the boss, will ya?"

Lydia fished a Stimpak from her bag, using it and detaching the nasty cloth from her arm, "Lets just get up there. I'm getting damned tired of this." Bobbi and Mel nodded, agree with her at least.

"Well Mel, can your robot get us up there?"

"Are you kidding? Look at this place, one blast from Sonia and the whole thing will come down." The ginger haired man grinned, before rubbing the back of his head, "Ah, but we should probably wait in the next room, just in case."

The blast was deafening, even from the next room, the earth shaking all around them and for a moment the raven was afraid they might be buried alive. But the dust settled soon enough, Lydia following Bobbi and Mel into the supposed location they were headed. The hole in the floor lead into a basement and from there Bobbi told them was the strong room.

"Bobbi...this looks like a warehouse not a strong room in Diamond City..." Lydia observed, looking around what seemed to be a old train warehouse as they exited the basement, Mel looked just as confused. "Yeah, Bobbi, what's going on?"

"What's going on is you just broke into Hancock's store house. Y'know, **Hancock**? The Mayor of _Goodneighbor_?"

The raven stiffened at the familiar woman's voice above them, lifting wary eyes to look at the ginger and two others in full rad suits. "Fahrenheit...? Fucking hell..." Lydia mumbled, lowering her eyes, raven strands hiding all but the deep frown on her lips. This was bad. Real bad. Fahrenheit didn't just her as it was and this was defiantly going to look bad.

Mel made a disapproving noise, "Oh, come on Bobbi! Are you kidding me? Hancock?! Jesus, the mans known to hold grudges!" Bobbi didn't seem fazed, sticking her chin up, "Doesn't matter does it?! There's still a ton of caps on the line if you help me take that woman out!"

"I can see the rest of you were in the dark about this. Nice, No-Nose..." Fahrenheit scoffed, "Counter offer, crawl back in your hole and I might let you walk away with your lives."

"Come on Bobbi, lets go now. Before she changes her mind." Mel begged, but Bobbi just raised her submachine gun toward Fahrenheit, "Not a chance in hell! You can run with your tall between your legs, but me and my new gun are going to finish this." She said, nodding to the raven girl beside her who stiffened at the implication.

Lydia grit her teeth, knife in her hand before she even realized what she was doing, the world slowing down for a the briefest moment in her mind. The raven had the ghoul pinned to the side of an old train car, knife pressed to her throat hard enough to slice a thin line, blood dripping slowly across the blade. Blue eyes seemed to be alight in fire, glowing dully, "How dare you...If I had known this was your plan all along I'd have ended you at the start. Hancock is my _friend_ , one of the only ones I've got. I'd rather get eaten by a fucking Deathclaw than betray his trust!" She growled, Bobbi's brown eyes terrified, her hands up in surrender. "Now you better crawl back in that fucking hole before I gut your goddamned ass!"

"A-alright! Alright! Just don't kill me!"

The raven gave the ghoul a rough shove, before stepping back, putting the knife away. Running a hand through long black strands. Lydia moved to walk out, but the ginger headed second in commanded stopped her. "Smart move, turning on Bobbi like that. Maybe your not as bad as I thought." Fahrenheit smiled, arms crossed, "Hancock willed be happy to know you protected his stash, you should really go pay him your respects."

Blue eyes gazed warily at the red head, frowning a bit, before nodding and taking her leave. Outside it was cool and damp, the clouds a sure sign of rain, which came pouring down soon after she reached the edge of the ruined city. She was soaked by the time she arrived in _Goodneighbor_ , feeling more than a little glum about what happened, aside from being a giant waste of her time. This could have potential ruined her friendship with the person who had basically saved her life and that scared her far worse than what he might think about what had happened two nights ago. Instead of going to see him, she went to the Third Rail, deciding she needed a drink; If only to settle her nerves. Body shaky from the confrontation in the store house.

* * *

 

Three hours later, it was well after dark and the storm continued to rage outside. Lydia was pretty hammered at this point, she knew it by the way she had trouble walking out into rain, a little giggle leaving her when she stumbled over a can. Mumbling something along the lines of 'Whoops', before making her way into the state house, but pausing at the door, the rain soaking her for the second time that day. Clearing her head a little, she wondered if she should just walk away. All she did was cause trouble, right? And no one would find her if she left now...but where the hell would she go?

The door opened, startling her from her thoughts, foot slipping on the step she stood on. "Woah! Steady!" Hancock grabbed her hand before she could fall backward, but lost his balance as well, the two of them tumbling out into the street with a splash. The mayor's hat fell from his head to bounce across the wet cobblestones.

"Ow..." Lydia frowned, blinking up at the ghoul literally sitting on top of her, blushing deeply as she realized this. Her body felt like it was on fire. Then again that could have been all the whiskey...

"You okay? Jeez, you...are you drunk?" He asked, dark eyes a little wide as the girl under him broke out into a fit of giggles, his answer in the form of a nod. He sat up, not even thinking about how they must look. Him sitting on her like that in the rain. "I-I'm sorry...Hehe~ I just...its so damn stupid."

"What is?"

"I was so worried...you were going to hate me." She replied, the laughter dying out with a long, slow noise, sorrow lacing it. Blue eyes stared past him at the lightening that flashed and the rain that washed over them, arms laying out on either side of her. The mayor frowned, "The hell...? Why would I hate you? Look if your worried about the whole Bobbi thing...don't. Fahrenheit explained everything."

The raven shook her head, dark strands glued to her face here and there, eyes closing. The smile had fallen away. She was glad for the rain that hid the tears, "Two days ago...those men they..." She began, the weight lifting from her, making her open her eyes to see Hancock getting to his feet. "Lets talk about this inside?" He held a hand out to her, waiting, his expression neutral.

Taking the offer with minimal hesitation, he helped her to her feet and the two walked upstairs, settling into the sitting room. Neither worried about getting the furniture wet or the little puddles that formed at their feet. Silence fell heavy over them as they sat there, Hancock pulling an inhaler of Jet from his pocket, sucking it down and letting out a sigh afterward. "I kind of figured what they did...the signs were pretty obvious." He broke the silence, not looking at her, but he could her fists shaking on her leg from the corner of his black eyes. The raven pulled her knees up, wrapping her arms around them, biting her lip, "W-was it...?"

He didn't answer at first, holding out another inhaler for her, which she took hesitantly. Whispering a 'thank you', taking the hit, which succeeded in calming her back down. "I don't think any less of you. Your the same girl I met that night in the cold six months ago." Dark eyes turned to the raven beside him, a calm smile on his lips. Standing, he began to pace a little, before settling on leaning against the wall near the doors. "Y'know I've been thinking, after what happened today with Bobbi, that I'm getting too comfortable. That kind of dictatorial shit is exactly why I took over, to stop it from happening. But I keep finding myself putting down the people I would have loved to scheme with just a few years ago."

"I'm tellin' ya, this fancy little tricorn hat of mine's getting pretty heavy. I've been thinking...maybe we could strike it out in the Commonwealth awhile. Who knows, we might find out who you were before." Hancock smirked a little, watching her as she looked up at him in surprise, "You...want to travel...with me? Why?"

"Why not? I mean, look at all the good you did here. You became the Silver Shroud and took out Sinjin. You cleared Pickman gallery. You saved this place from greenskins! None of this would still be here if you hadn't shown up and stayed. It's only fair I repay all that greatness or at least try to. So what do you say?"

Lydia looked at her hands a moment, thinking it over, her cheeks tinged a little red. Not out of embarrassment or nerves, but excitement. It would be just the two of them. Alone, for the most part. And maybe with Hancock at her side she really could remember something! Besides, she had someplace to come back to at the very least, but..."What about _Goodneighbor_? Your the mayor, can you really just walk out?"

"Hey, I'm the mayor wither I'm in residence or not. Fahrenheit can handle things, so don't you worry about none of that." His smile was wide, a bit cocky, but it sort of fit him didn't it. And it was infectious, because she found herself smiling back, brightly. "Let's do this!"  
  


 


	6. Guilty Past

"Did you really need so many chems?" Lydia asked incredulously as she and Hancock walked out of an alley and into the open sunlight near the river bank, they weren't all that far from where she had woken up and if memory served her right, for once, there was a group of raiders not too far from that point that occupied one of the few bridges across the river. The mayor grinned beside her, "Actually I had considered taking a second pack, I have no idea when we're coming back." Inhaling one of the many Jet he had brought, "Besides, I don't do well sober, trust me. You don't want to see that." He made a face at the very thought of going anything length of time sober, especially around her, he was not per say likable when he was sober. And he honestly wanted her to like him, not that he thought she didn't. But they had never spent a long length of time together either and would likely be together for awhile.

The raven rolled her eyes, rifle at the ready in her right hand, just in case. She wasn't really sure where they were going, other than where she had woken up at, which had been his idea. He decided the best place to start, if they indeed intended to discover who she was, was where she had started. The idea was not one that thrilled her, something about going back to the river brought a since of dread. "Y'know I think I remembered something the other day...she told him hesitantly, glancing up at his face to gage his reactions, surprise crossing his features. "Oh, yeah? What was it?"

"Not a what exactly...it was more like a feeling." She replied, glancing out at the water a moment, it was pretty in the sunlight. Glittery like crystal. "Bobbi had me meet her in Diamond City...It seemed familiar so I stuck around after she left. Ended up wandering into an office behind the market, some sort of detective was supposed to be there, according to the neon sign. But when the this girl there freaked out I sort of...ran..." She let out a heavy sigh, running a hand through her hair, glaring ahead of them. Something in the distance catching her eye.

Hancock didn't reply for awhile, seeming to be digesting the information. "Nicky's a good detective, maybe you were a client at some point? Or someone hired him to find you." He suggested after a bit, frowning, wondering if she had a family she didn't remember. Or a lover? That one ate at him, clawed at his insides. He really hoped that one wasn't it. "Unfortunately, in either case, if we go to Diamond City I wouldn't be able to go with you. Ghoul's aren't-"

"Allowed there? Yeah, Bobbi told me. She didn't really tell me why though." Lydia interrupted, hoping for an explanation, but Hancock didn't provide one. Both because he wasn't comfortable answering and because he could see a group of people heading their directions, lifting his shotgun just in case a fight was going to break out. But it turned out to be a caravan, he realized when he saw the brahman. He didn't recognize the vendor, a thin man with round glasses and lab coat, a smile crossing the guys face when he saw them. The signs of recognition in his features, "We've got chems and Stimpak's for sell, long way to any settlements, you should stalk up." The doctor looking man told them once they were all in ear shot without the need for yelling, smart enough to know better than speaking loudly in the city ruins, no need to attract danger.

Lydia smiled in a friendly way, "We're good, thank you. Safe travels." She told them, moving to keep going, the ghoul at her side hearing the guards muttering about a bet involving the raven dying in a week. Apparently she had run into them before, so someone had just lost a ton of caps. This made him break out into laughter, startling Lydia, who looked at him like he was crazy. "What's the matter?"

"N-Nothing, never mind!" He said between laughs, wiping a tear from the corner of his eye as they continued along the river bank. At some point the raven slowed down, crouching a little, seeming to be observing something in the distance. Taking the hint of danger, he knelt beside her, scanning the area ahead. But not seeing anything out of the ordinary at first, "What is it?"

"Raiders...a small group of them occupies that bridge up there..." She pointed out, "We could go around...but it'll be a long way, their pretty spread out here." The raven explained, cocking her rifle, smirking a little. An oddly wild look in her eyes, that brought a smirk to his face, "Lets take 'em out then." He said quietly, moving closer to the edge of there camp set up at the mouth of the bridge, waiting until Lydia fired the first few shots. He wanted to see how many should could take out before getting spotted.

One of the raiders walked into view of her scope, holding her breath, she fired the shot. The scums head blowing open like a melon smashing against the cracked pavement. This set off a chain reaction of the others coming to see what had happened, allowing her to take out two more before they realized what was happening, a large black dog running toward her. Putting the rifle over her shoulder, she left the safety of her hiding spot, at the same time Hancock did. Taking the group out as efficiently as an oiled machine. "Your not to bad at this!" Hancock praised, knocking one of the raiders in the head with the butt of his gun, before turning the muzzle in time to blow a hole in another one.

"What can I say? I learned from the best." She joked, hearing a yell from above, spotting a catwalk between two buildings over head. More raiders, getting ready to start firing, one of them throwing what she could only assume was a grenade. Which was heading right toward her ghoul friend, sucking in a breath, she pulled her rifle into position and aimed. Firing, the grenade exploding midair, startling Hancock who ducked and looked up in time to see one of the bastards knocked off balance  and come barreling into the ground. Lydia firing two more shots and taking the last two raiders out easily, their lifeless bodies falling from the catwalk to join their friend. All this happening in a matter of seconds.

"Holy shit...I didn't know you could move that fast." He gaped at her, the shock slowly wearing off into an easy smile, watching her shrug. "Yeah...I don't know how I do that. Learned it when I was doing that job for Kent, it sort of just happens at random." She told him glancing at the sun, surprised to see the day had gone by so fast. Shouldering her rifle, she picked up her shotgun, the two of them searching the bodies for loot as the sun started down in the sky.

"We should look for a place to stay tonight." The raven pointed out, walking along side the other across the bridge, scanning the buildings for a defensible one. "Yeah, sounds good. I brought some meat and stuff for tonight. I'll cook this time." Hancock told her, smiling a bit, pointing to one of the buildings that looked fairly decent. The two silently agreeing on it and setting to work putting up traps for the night.

* * *

 

"Y'know I was always under the impression mole rat tasted like dirt...Since they live under ground...But this actually isn't bad." Lydia commented from where she sat in a hole in the wall, leaning back on part of the crumbled structure, looking out over the darkened city. Pin pricks of lantern light and fires here and there in the ruins, the sound of the breeze and gun shots in the buildings. Hancock chuckled at her, sitting near a fire he had started between some cinder blocks they had found and arranged. "Ever consider I'm just a good cook?" He taunted, black eyes watching her closely, wishing she wouldn't sit in such an exposed place. But she hadn't seemed worried and something about how fast she had taken those raiders out today eased his mind. Lydia was stronger than her frail, girlish appearance gave credit too.

The raven laughed a bit, sitting her plate down next to her, "Yeah, maybe. But I don't think I've ever seen you cook till today. So whose to say its not dumb luck?" She joked, grinning at him, listening to that gruff laugh of his. Never able to get tired of it. Silence fell over them again after a few minutes, Lydia turning her eyes back to the ruins, seeing the bright lights of Diamond City in the distance, "So...you never answered my question earlier."

The ghoul hummed, lifting his head from the remnants of his own meal, uncertain as to what she was referring to. "About Diamond City..." She continued, standing up and walking over to where he sat, taking a place beside him with her knee pulled up so she could rest her cheek there. Watching the way his good mood soured at the question, his dark eyes looking away from her and suddenly she felt a pang of guilt. "Right..." A sigh left him, "I guess I would have had to tell you this story at some point, so it may as well be now."

"You don't have to if your not comfortable..." She told him, frowning deeply, reaching out to lay a hand against his shoulder. But he shook his head, smiling half-heartedly at her, "Nah, its only fair right? Your traveling with me and its part of my own past, I don't want to hide it from you or make you think I am or something."

The raven nodded slowly, tucking strands of black behind her ear, waiting patiently for him to start. It took a few minutes for him to get the beginning of it out, but once he started talking he found it easier and easier to explain. "Remember, I told you I cam to Goodneighbor about a decade ago? Well I lived in Diamond City before that. Back then it was a half-way decent place to live, bit stricter than I liked, but it was safe. The previous mayor passed away around that time and McDonough decided to run. With this anti-ghoul campaign. 'McDonough for Humanity'. I never thought he had it in him, I always thought we had a pretty decent childhood."

Lydia frowned curiously, "You knew him as kids?" She asked, tilting her head a little, seeing the nostalgic look in those dark eyes. The sadness in them made her own heart break, "Yeah. Guy's my brother. Thought he was a good big brother too, I mean he was never perfect. But he wasn't a bad person."

"Anyway, there had always been a pretty clear divide between the people living in the stands and those on the field. But I can't help thinking it was just so they could clean up their view. The bastards. I can still remember it like it was yesterday. People dragging out those they had once called neighbor...Men, woman, kids, whole families lined up to toss out those poor ghouls like trash."

Black eyes glared into the fire, his hands curled into fists so tight it looked like his skin might split, "I remember going up to his office, pleading with him to call it off. And then his smiled, that mile long fucking smile, I didn't even recognize him. He looked at me, with this...look in his eyes and said, 'I did it John. I finally did it.' He said he had nothing against the ghouls, just wanted to give the people what they wanted."

"I couldn't live there after that. I had been sneaking off to Goodneighbor for years to get decent chems, so I rounded up the families I could and lead them there, trying to give them a safer home. I brought them food and stuff for a few weeks, but they started disappearing. I guess they couldn't adjust to the Goodneighbor lifestyle. I couldn't live in Diamond City after that. With those people in that fucking cesspool." The ghoul sighed heavily, scrubbing his face with his hands roughly, before fishing out one of his inhalers and taking a nice long hit. The raven was quiet a long time, "I'm sorry."

"What?" Hancock lifted his head, confusion in his eyes, surprised by the sadness in her face as she gazed at the glowing fire. "About what you went through. And your brother. I can't imagine how hard that must have been..." She replied, hugging both her knees, "Maybe someday he'll realize his wrongs and at least feel sorry for them."

Silence fell over them again, neither of them able to find much else to talk about for some time. Eventually Lydia feel asleep where she sat or at least the ghoul thought she had, "Is it okay if I call you John...?" She mumbled softly, tiredly lifting hazy eyes to look into the calming darkness of his own, watching the hesitant nod he gave in reply. "Sure..." The word was soft, almost missed, but she heard it. "I don't know why...I feel like everything's better when your around." Her eyes were shut again, the words sounding sleepy. Hancock made a face, the smile skeptical, "Are you high?"

The raven laughed a little, shaking her head, "No...maybe...I don't know." Staring into the fire again, "But I meant it...Your my best friend John Hancock. If it wasn't for you I'd probably be laying face down in a ditch by now. Not one person even tried to help me, except for you. I can't even tell you how truly grateful I am for meeting you."

Hancock blinked, trying to push down the warm fuzzy feeling growing in his heart, the one that had planted itself there pretty firmly several months ago when he dragged her in from the cold. A smirk tilted his thing lips, "Yeah, your defiantly high."

* * *

 

The next morning was uneventful, mostly, other than Hancock's wildly crazy decision to head toward Diamond City. Lydia had attempted to argue with him about it, saying the feeling she got there was not that important, but he had been pretty insistent over it. So there they were, just beyond the guarded outer fencing, scoping out the large open gate. "I really don't think this is a good idea..." The raven said for the millionth time, looking over at Hancock who had changed into a hooded black coat, tying a bandanna around his mouth, already wearing her goggles that she had agreed to lend him. "It'll be fine. You just do the talking and I'll keep my head down, no one will say much."

The raven nibbled the inside of her cheek, glancing at one of the guards who walked past, not noticing them, "But what if your wrong about this Nick guy? What if I'm like some wanted mercenary?" She asked, moving forward when the taller of the two nudged the smaller toward the gate. "It'll be fine. He's not a bounty hunter, he's a detective. Besides he's a friend of mine and happens to owe me a few favors."

Lydia nodded to the guards as they went in, feeling nervous flutters in her stomach, making her think she might throw up her breakfast. Walking down the steps toward the market, neither of them paying much mind to the people around them, outside the guards they watched warily. At least until someone grabbed the raven's arm, a shocked squeak leaving her, turning in surprise to a taller woman with dark hair and a paper boy type of hat. "Blue?! Jesus, where the hell have you been? Its been months!" The woman was dressed in a red trench coat, looking a little like a reporter and something about her seemed so familiar to. But Lydia couldn't put her finger on it, jerking her hand away and frowning, raising a skeptical brow, "You...You know me?"

"Well yeah I know you...uh...well sort of. Don't you remember? I helped you get into the city when they had the gate locked? You did a story for my paper?" The woman asked, but nothing seemed to come to mind, the shorter woman shaking her head a little. "Sorry..."

The woman looked incredulous, narrowing brown eyes at her and leaning weirdly close, "Say...your not a synth are you...?" She asked quietly, the smaller raven making a face, about to answer. But the taller straightened, seeing someone approaching, crossing her arms hotly. "Great, its McDonough...the fucking vulture." The reporter sneered, glaring daggers at a chubby little man bumbling towards them. The mans face was bright red with anger.

Lydia felt Hancock stiffen slightly behind him, carefully reaching a hand back to take one of his that was covered with a knitted glove, trying to be comforting without anyone around taking notice. "Piper! What did I tell you about writing this slanderous material?!" The fat man howled, waving a newspaper around as he got close, nearly knocking Lydia and her friend down in the process.

Piper and the mayor began arguing, loudly, which was attracting attention from people near by. Taking this as a good chance, the smaller raven lead her ghoul friend away, not wanting to get involved with that mess. "She recognized you...Don't you want to stick around and see what she knows?" Hancock asked softly near her ear, so no one else could hear she guessed. "No...I mean I do. But I don't...I don't know okay..."

She let go of his hand, slowing down as they approached the neon signs of _Valentine's Detective Agency_ , "I wonder why she called me 'Blue'...that seems like a weird name." Lydia pointed out, warily approaching the office of the would-be sleuth. Hancock shrugged, "Maybe cause of your eyes?"

The raven shook her head, "I don't think so..." She replied, trying to remember, the name felt sort of familiar. But it seemed like that woman was the only one who called her that. The more she thought about the more it seemed like Piper's words were true, vaguely she remember talking to the woman for hours, the gate and such. It made her head hurt, wincing a little and lifting her fingers to rub her temple a little in a vein attempt to alleviate the headache. "You alright?" Hancock asked, stepping past her into the little area outside the office door, frowning beneath the bandana. The shorter mumbling something the ghoul didn't catch, nodding a little as they headed inside the smoky little office.

It didn't escape his notice the way she hung back behind him, out of sight as he lowered the hood and mask, pushing the goggles up and out of the way. That girl came from around the corner, looking surprised, "Well I'll be! I don't see you in this office very often Mayor Hancock, what's the occasion?"

"Ellie? Damn you got pretty since I saw you last. What's it been...? Ten years?" He smiled calmly, but his muscles were tense, he knew Ellie from before, Nick too. They were one of the few people in that damned city he still trusted and cared anything for. "Don't flatter me, you. And yes, its been about that. I take your looking for Nick?"

"Yeah, wanted to inquire about a job from him, is he around?"

"Sort of, he went to the market to get some things, but he should be back soon."

Hancock nodded, shifting a bit to move toward the chair, but pausing when he felt Lydia move with him. A sigh left him, both out of annoyance and the fact he felt a little bad for the clearly nervous raven. "Hey, Ellie, listen I have a friend with me..."

The brunette looked confused, as she didn't see anyone else, "Okay...Uh...your not...are you high?"

"No, well I am, but seriously. She's a bit nervous about being here, so if you could be really calm I'd appreciate it." He explained, moving in a way toward the chair again so that Lydia didn't have a choice but to come out, he was honestly surprised at how small she could make herself. He was tall, sure, but skinny as hell. Lanky. It was a wonder she could hid behind him so well. Not that she was wide or anything.

Ellie sucked in a sharp sound, before slamming her hand over her mouth, green eyes wide. "Y-Your really...alive?! Holy shit...Nick's gonna flip out!" The brunette said as quietly as she could, but the raven looked ready to bolt, arms crossed tightly over her chest. Hazy eyes darting to look at the door, already inching toward it.

Hancock cleared his throat, "About that...I was wondering how he knows her? If you don't mind Ellie...Its kind of a complicated story, she doesn't actually remember...well anything." The raven was grateful her friend was doing the talking, too afraid to ask, that feeling of dread coming back to her ten fold. Swelling in the pit of her stomach like an angry mole rat, she really didn't know wither she wanted to remember if that feeling was an indication of what to expect. 

"Seriously?! Is that why you ran out the other day? Oh my god, I am so sorry! Nick's been looking all over for you though, ever since Fort Hagen!" Ellie explained, the name of the place shooting a pain through the raven's head like a lightening strike, this felt far worse than trying to remembering Piper. A soft gasp leaving her, a flash lighting behind her eyes a moment, it was like she'd been shot in the temple. A dark little voice whispering somewhere in the back of her mind...

**_'Well if it isn't my friend, the frozen TV dinner.'_ **

**_'Too bad for you, he's not here. I couldn't give him to you if I wanted, you wasted your time...'_ **

That laughter, like a horrible nightmare long forgotten, like nails on a chalkboard, echoing in her mind. The raven didn't even realize she was screaming, the voice was so loud, she couldn't hear anything else. Couldn't focus on anything else but the pain and that voice in her mind.

Hancock was sitting on the floor with her, trying to calm her down, to quill the screaming and the obvious fear that had come over her out of no where. But nothing seemed to be working. Nick came through the door a moment later, looking pretty shocked, both by the screams and the sight of the raven. "Holy shit! Kid, calm down!"

Lydia's little fit lasted at least ten more minutes before she fainted, probably from lack of oxygen, going limp there in her friends arms. Leaving the three in the room in a state of shock. The charismatic ghoul looking up at the Synth detective with wide black eyes, more than a little shaken by his little birds episode, "Nicky...It's uh...you got time to talk?" He chocked out, reigning in his worry as much as he could and pulling up that cool front he was known for.

Nick pulled out a cigarette, lighting it and sitting in his chair on the other side of the desk, "Yeah, I think we need to. Ellie, show him to my bed, lets let our friend rest, huh?" The brunette nodded, helping Hancock get Lydia settled into Nick's bed, making sure she was comfortable.

The ghoul sat in the chair across from Nick, looking a little frazzled as he pulled some Jet from his bag and took a hit. Letting the chem haze relax his nerves as he looked at his old friend across the desk, "So, tell me how you managed to find my client?" The detective asked, leaning forward on the desks surface, flicking the ash from his smoke into an ashtray. "It's complicated Nicky..."

"When are our lives not?"

* * *

 

_Two hours later..._

"So let me get this straight...?" Hancock rubbed the bridge of what was left of his nose, getting the feeling this was all a whole hell of a lot more complicated than he had at first figured, "She came to you almost seven months ago, about a case in involving her tracking down the man who had killed her husband and taken her son? Which lead you to track down a guy named Kellog who has a reputation as one of the worst mercenaries in the Commonwealth...And some how, you lost track of her in Fort Hagen." He was expected to find she was just a missing person, someone's sister or something that had just vanished and somehow lost her memory. Not this.

Nick nodded, lighting his third cigarette since sitting down, "That's right. He must of dumped her in the river, thinking she was dead or close enough to it she wouldn't survive. Must of drifted for days before washing up on shore. And eventually wandering into your neck of the woods." The synth concluded, smoke drifting into the air, "What I don't understand though...is the amnesia. What could have triggered it? I mean she's been through some pretty traumatic stuff, sure. But it seems unlikely to just forget something as important as the son you've been searching for for well over a year. She was a mess when she showed up here, clearly desperate for any straws that could lead her to him."

Hancock gave the detective a dull look, narrowing dark eyes, "Judging by the panic attack she just had? I'd say it was stress related..." The ghoulish mayor pointed out, huffing some Jet and letting out a vapor laced breath, "Did you ever consider she might have been completely terrified of that guy? God, knows what happened to her in there!"

"You might have a point..." Nicky mused, "When I scoped the place out I noticed a lot of gen one synths milling about inside. Something tells me Kellog works for the Institute...I was pretty convinced he had sent her off to those people. Especially when he abandoned the place a day later. Unfortunately I never got to interrogate him, he's gone missing again." Nick sighed heavily, glancing at the hallway that lead to where the raven was sleeping, vaguely he could make out the sounds of whimpering. It was likely she was not resting peacefully at the moment. No doubt able to hear them talking about all this from around the corner, likely triggering all sorts of unsettling things in her mind.

The ghoul across from him glanced that direction too, wondering if her remembering was a bad idea after all. "Did she tell you where she came from...?" He asked, tempted to go in there and just wake her, try and talk to her about all this. But he dreaded her freaking out again. "Not exactly. Only that she and her family were in a vault, on ice no less, since before the war."

Black eyes went wide, disbelief on his face, "She's...That would make her more than two hundred!" He chocked a little, amazed she was so old, she looked a hell of a lot younger. Younger even than himself. But then if they were on ice that made since, right? Her looking young but not, in fact, being young at all. Still, it boggled his mind knowing she was as old as Daisy or Kent.

Pushing that aside, he was still trying to wrap his head around the fact she was a widow, let alone she had been married at all and had a son no less! She looked too young to have a kid. "Yeah, shocking right? Sadly it doesn't tell us much about her beyond that..." The synth's glowing eyes turned to the hall beside the door, "Oh hey! Your up, how are you feeling?" Nick stood suddenly, worry crossing his synthetic features. Lydia stood leaning against the wall looking like she hadn't slept in a week, dark circles under her eyes. Hancock couldn't help thinking she looked a lot like she had the day she had walked into his beloved little town, lost and alone.

"Nick...right?" She asked, looking to the synth, who nodded a little, looking hopeful. "You remember anything kid?" The raven shook her head, rubbing her eyes tiredly with a thin sigh, "Sorry...no...I'm trying, but its just making my head hurt more. What happened earlier? I was standing here and then...nothing..."

Hancock and Nick exchanged a glance, before the ghoul got to his feet, wanting to be close by if she had another panic attack. Not wanting her to hit her head or something, make things worse. "You...you freaked out and then fainted...After Ellie mentioned Fort Hagen...does it ring any bells?" The mayor's tone was hesitant, black eyes wary.

He watched her frown, saw the way she winced and shook her head again, "No..." Lydia mumbled, annoyance coating over the tiredness in her delicate features. "What about the name Shaun?" Nick asked, watching her closely, seeing her eyes brighten a moment in recognition. But it faded a second later, the raven gritting her teeth against the pounding in her skull, one hand gripping at the side of her head. Dark hair framed her face, dropping in front of her eyes as she let out a small hiss, "Damnit...Ugh...that's...that's the baby I saw...he's...he was important...but... **fuck**...why can't I remember...?"

Hancock laid his hands on her shoulders, "Take it easy, there's no sense in pushing yourself." He said calmly, guiding her to sit in the chair he had just vacated, "Your making progress at least. So just relax...You want something to take the edge off?" He offered already reaching for his bag before she nodded, gratefully taking the Med-X he handed her, the little injection was a mild sort of high that was good for relieving pain.

"You better not get her hooked on that crap, Hancock. That's the last thing she needs." Nick frowned, giving the ghoul a disapproving look, which was ignored. The pair talking softly among themselves as if they were alone. Nick found this slightly unnerving, wondering how and when they had gotten so clearly close. It wasn't like Hancock to trust others or get close to people like he was with her, what had changed?

"It's getting late, why don't we head out and find a place for tonight, try again tomorrow when your feeling better?" The ghoul suggested, already putting on his disguise and shouldering his bag. "Alright...I was getting hungry anyway." Lydia replied softly, playing with her hair a little, distracting herself with a distant expression.

"Y'know you could stay at the Dugout Inn, won't have to travel as far and its safer." Nick pointed out, Hancock didn't look up. He hated the idea of staying in Diamond City for any length of time. Both because it risked exposure and because he just genuinely hated the place. But truthfully he was worried about Lydia having another fit, at least if it was in the Dugout they wouldn't be ambushed...but still. Hancock chewed the inside of his cheek, mulling over the options.

"We don't have to, John..."

Hancock blinked in surprise, not expecting the use of his first name, despite giving permission the night before. He had thought he was dreaming that one up or had been really high and imagined it. She was smiling calmly at him, tucking her hair out of her face with nimble fingers, getting to her feet. "I'm going to get some air, I'll wait for you outside okay?"

Still a bit stunned, the words seeming to have gone out the window again, he only nodded and watched her go. Nick chuckled behind him, "Well I'll be damned." The old Synth smirked, putting his cigarette out as the ghoul shot a confused look at him. "What?"

"You. I never thought I'd see you with an expression like that on your face. You like her don't you?"

"Got a problem with that Nicky? Jealous?" The tone of the words was both teasing and mildly threatening, "Is it that obvious?" The ghoul frowned seconds later, standing up only to sit in the chair, face in his hands, shoulders slumped. Nick only laughed more at this, "Yeah, pretty damn obvious. And it wouldn't take a detective to see it either. How long you been pining for her?"

"I don't know...but my thoughts are getting a lot more impure the more I'm around her. Its driving me mad Nicky. I mean...I _want_ her...badly. But I don't want her to have to put up with me, y'know? I'm not good for her and I know it. Besides, why would anyone want to wake up to this ugly mug everyday?" He hung his head, Nick shaking his own, feeling a little bad for the man. "That's really up to her isn't it. Y'know they say love is blind. Besides, I don't think she's the type to worry about appearances." The synth stood, walking over and clapping the younger man on the shoulder, "And I'm not going to argue. You are far from upstanding. But...Maybe your exactly what she needs?"

Outside, Lydia was standing in the dark, letting the cool, damp air clear her head. It was drizzling rain, the sun having gone down some time ago, so the whole of Diamond City was cast in deep shadows and bright blotches of light. "You'll catch your death of cold out here." Came a somewhat familiar voice, hazy blue eyes opening and looking around, before lowering to find a portly little man she realized a few seconds later was Mayor McDonough. "What do you care...?" She asked hotly, not really certain where the biting tone came from or the way she suddenly had the urge to punch the little lardo. But she was trying to imagine the fact that this man was a blood relation to the ghoul in the office behind. She saw nothing of John in this man. Hancock was tall, charismatic and level headed with an air of coolness that demanded respect. Mayor McDonough reminded her of an over stuffed monkey in a cheap suit, the kind you saw in a circus doing silly tricks for treats.

The man frowned at her, straightening his shoulders in a cocky sort of way that said he thought he was better than everyone else, "It's my job to be concerned about all the citizens of my fair city!" He announced as if he had an audience or rather deserved on, though it was only her and his tone was grating on her nerves like nails on a chalkboard. " _Right._ Keep telling yourself that and maybe you can keep ignoring how much of  a pompous asstard you are." She replied flatly, watching his face turn bright red with rage, smirking a bit at her little achievement. The portly man gaped at her with a wide open mouth like a fish. The raven pictured a fish in a cheap suit now, mouthing off at people on a stage like it thought it was king. The image made her giggle a little.

"How dare you talk to me like that! Why I ought to-What are you laughing at?!" He started to reach out and grab her maybe, but the door to Nick's office opened and the man clamped his mouth shut, jerking his hand back and brushing non-existent dirt off his patched suit. "This isn't over." He growled, before storming off, stumbling at the end of the alley and almost falling in a puddle of mud. Lydia stifled another laugh, feeling the warm presence of Hancock behind her, recognizing the smell of chems and gun oil. "What was that about...?"

"Just putting the little jerk in his place." The raven replied, smiling over her shoulder at her companion, wishing she could see his expression, but his chuckle was enough to tell he thought it was funny at least. "Come on, the Dugout isn't far from here. You can tell me about it there." He told her, leading the way around the market toward the bar and inn, sticking close to the raven's side like before. "Your sure about staying here...? I didn't think you'd be comfortable...considering..." She trailed off, frowning a little, trying to gage his reactions. But it was almost impossible with that get up.

"Don't worry about it."

The raven pursed her lips, wanting him to talk to her, but he was walking faster. Like he was in a hurry or didn't want to talk at all, it worried her. Had she done something wrong? And he didn't speak again until they were in the Inn either, standing behind her and quietly telling her who to talk to about a room, which was the extent of the conversation as she approached a man with a Russian sort of accent, "A room? Yes, we have on available, its ten caps." The man told her in his heavy accent, waiting till he had his caps before pointing her to the room and giving her the key.

Hancock went in first, seeming on edge to her, it was pretty obvious he was nervous. Even when he pretended to be relaxed as he sat on the small love seat in the room, laying back with his hands behind his head and feet up. "We really don't have to stay here..." She told him, shutting the door behind her, feeling a little nervous herself for some reason. Probably his nerves rubbing off on her. "Already paid." He replied shortly, not removing the goggles or mask.

Lydia worried her lip, flipping the lock on the aged door just in case, she crossed the room to sit on the bed, her hands on her knees. The silence was wearing thin, her heart racing like a frightened radstag, "Look if your mad about me talking to him, then I'm sorry...He walked up to me and I just couldn't help it. He acts like an asshole and I had to resist knocking his teeth out!" She pleaded, relieved that the ghoul at least sat up at the babbled words. Lifting the goggles and moving the bandana, he was frowning, looking confused. "The hell?"

"McDonough...I-I figured you were mad about me talking to him or something."

The others dark eyes softened a little, Hancock sitting up properly, "It's not that..." He replied, sighing as he rubbed his face with still gloved hands, feeling tired but too nervous to sleep or even really relax; For multiple reasons. "Then what's wrong...?" The raven asked, pleaded really, looking ready to start bouncing off the damn walls.

"I'm just...*sigh*...look about what happened with Bobbi. I'm not real proud of making you go through that. That sort of dictatorial shit sort of blows the whole reason I became mayor in the first place." It wasn't really what he wanted to talk about, but he was too nervous to talk about the real reason he was upset, so this would have to suffice. It was none the less true at least. "She lied to both of us. Taking her out was the right thing to do." Lydia replied, seeming to calm down a little, glad he wasn't mad at her.

"Yeah, but it doesn't change the fact she's out of the picture cause of us. That kind of shit isn't usually my style...Before I became mayor, Goodneighbor was run by this ass named Vic for I don't know how long." He explained, lighting a cigarette to give his hands something to do, taking a long drag of stale tobacco, "The guy was scum, used us drifters as his personal piggy bank. He had this goon squad he used to keep people in line and every so often he would let them loose on the populace at large. People with homes could lock the doors..." The ghoul took another long drag of his smoke, letting out a cloud of it on a heavy sigh, "But us drifters had no where to hide...I remember one night this guy stood up to them. They cracked him open like a can of Cram on the pavement. I don't think I'll ever get that image out of my head..."

"That's horrible...No one could stop them?" The raven asked, hands over her mouth, imagining the scene in detail in her mind and shuddering. "We were all too scared to even try. I felt like less than nothing. Afterward I got so high I blacked out...and when I came to I was in front of the cloths of John Hancock." The ghoul explained, letting out another acrid cloud, "John Hancock, first American hoodlum and defender of the people. I don't know if I was just still high or not, but those clothes spoke to me, told me what I had to do. So I broke the case and put 'em on. And from then I became **Hancock**."

The raven listened, interested in the mans story, curious of how he had in fact become mayor. It felt strange in a way, knowing her had been a drifter like her at one point. Then to end up one of the most powerful people in the Commonwealth? "I got clean for a while after that, convinced KL-E-O to loan me some hardware and rounded me up some people, we went into the ruins to train. And then we waited, for Vic and his boys to get good and hammered. We burst from the windows and rooftops where we had been hiding. Didn't have to fire a shot." He paused to finish the cig, putting it out on the concrete floor.

"Didn't have to, but we sure fucking did. It was a massacre." Heaving another sigh, lighting another cigarette and taking yet another drag, "Afterward we marched into Vic's quarters, wrapped a rope around his neck and through him off the balcony. And there I was, gun in hand, draped in Hancock's dudes...When I said them the first time? Words didn't even feel like my own. 'Of the people, for the people', was my inaugural address, I became mayor that very night."

Lydia was quiet awhile, "So...why leave? You worked so hard to become mayor and turn things around..." She questioned, watching him smirk a little, "I was following my instincts and they told me I should help you. Besides, your my friend and you needed me, wither or not you were going to ask." The raven smiled a little, a soft red splashed across her cheeks and nose, "And that's what we are, friends?" The question was soft, hardly a whisper, but he heard it.

Hancock's own face feeling a bit warm as he rubbed the back of his neck, smiling a little, maybe Nicky was right? "Well, I mean I'm not going to lie, I have been having some slightly more impure thoughts lately. Maybe we can...act on those sometime..." The raven's face turned much redder, those blues eyes looking away, but the smile on her face was evidence enough that she was not entirely against the idea. "Get some sleep, probably going to be a pretty stressful day tomorrow."

Lydia nodded, taking her shoes off, getting a little more comfortable. But just as she was about to lay down, she hesitated, glancing over at the ghoul laying on the tiny little couch that was way to short for his long, lanky body. "Uh...um...Would you...like to...share the bed? Y-You don't look comfortable over there." She stammered a bit, ringing her hands a little. The raven wouldn't lie, him being uncomfortable was not the whole reason she was suddenly willing to share the bed. And it had nothing to do with anything dirty either. Lydia really just wanted the feeling of closeness, the comfort of having him near, after the nightmare earlier when she had blacked out. She was suddenly terrified about being alone and wasn't entirely sure where the fear was stemming from. Feeling lonely and fearing the aloneness were very different feelings. Before she had just been a generally lonely person. Now? Now the idea was like asking her to pull the trigger of a pistol in her own mouth.

The ghoul seemed surprised by the request, but slowly got up, coming toward her. "You sure...?" He asked hesitantly, watching her nod and slowly climbed to lay against the wall, she was curled up on her side. Taking a slow breath, calming his nerves and trying to ignore the way he was suddenly hyper aware of everything, he climbed in beside her. It was harder than he figured to fall asleep, but she passed out fairly quickly. So he lay awake much of the time, watching the gentle rise and fall of her chest as she slept, the way she seemed so peaceful. It reminded him of a few days ago, was it really only that long? When he had thought she had died and realized exactly how scared he had been when he thought he was going to lose the best thing in his life.

Reaching out, gentle fingers brushed over soft, slightly tangled black curls, "I can't promise you'll never get hurt, but I swear...I'll protect you no matter the cost." He murmured, drifting slowly to sleep himself, hand still rested gently on her cheek.

 


	7. Ghoulish

They were up pretty early the next morning, eating a fast breakfast of the left overs from their supplies and heading to Nick's well before many people were even thinking of getting up. Lydia was a mess, not really wanting to go through with all this after what happened the day before. The only thing that eased her nerves was the chems Hancock was more than willing to give her in small amounts, it seemed he too was a bit worried about her hitting them too hard, it hadn't been just Nick. Sitting in the office, it was quiet at first, Nick moving about making coffee. Calmly smoking a cigarette, which really begged the question was he really getting anything out of it or was it some kind of oral fixation.

Hancock was leaning against the wall near the locked door, he hadn't needed to lock it, but it was a precaution in case the guards were attracted by his raven friends shouting if she freaked out again. One way or another if gave him time to bolt if they showed up or at least cover his face. The silence was eventually broken by Nick, "So, did you remember anything last night?" The synth eyed the raven woman, those glowing robotic eyes seeming to scan her for any signs of...well...anything.

Lydia only shook her head, curled there in her chair, staring blankly at his desk. Clearly not up for talking yet. The detective took the initiative, "Hmm, well I can tell you what you told me, maybe it'll jog something." Nick suggested, sitting down across from her after sitting a cup of coffee in front of her and handing one to the ghoul in the room. Hancock humming something about how hard it was to get a decent cup of the stuff as he took a slow sip. "Let's start at the beginning. After you saved me from Skinny Malone's we met back here." He began, flicking the ash from his cigarette into the dirt ashtray, "You told me you were looking for your son..."

The raven made a face, scowling a little at the warm mug in her hands, trying to remember. But nothing came to her, not even the pain like it had yesterday. So Nick went on, telling her of her husbands murder and the vault they had been on ice in, though he couldn't tell her where that was, because she had never told him it seemed. And an hour later, still nothing, she was getting more than a little frustrated. Setting her empty cup down, she got to her feet, arms crossed tightly over her chest. "I need some air..." Lydia mumbled, turning and unlocking the door, outside before either Nick or Hancock could stop her. The ghoul sighing softly, running a hand over his head, looking to Nick for some kind of advice. But even the detective didn't have much of a clue.

It was cool outside, the rain had stopped sometime during the night, so the sun was up high in the sky. The breeze was soothing, should have calmed the raven as she leaned against the wall outside the little alley that lead to Nick's door. Some unknown force made her lift her eyes to the end of the street, landing on a lone figure standing in the sunlight. Hazy blues going wide, heart slamming to a stop for several moments in her chest like something had stepped on it, this sense of anguish washing over her. Ten feet away stood a man, just staring at her, unnoticed by those that passed every once and awhile. Short, neatly kept red hair held up in a top-knot, dark green eyes, sun-kissed skin.  She knew this man, without a doubt, his name slipping from her mouth without her realizing what was even happening. "Nate...?" He looked right at her, a slow, strange smile spreading across his lips. And then he took off, running out of sight and she followed without thinking, shouting after him the whole way.

_______________________

In the office Nick and Hancock waited for sometime, before the ghoul began to worry, glancing at the clock every few minutes. Until finally having enough, he pulled on his disguise. Opening the door, he checked to see if she was just outside, but not seeing her ventured out farther. Mask firmly in place, goggles too, hood up and pulled down as far as he could comfortably get it. Checking the alley, still not seeing her, his heart sped up. Going back to retrieve Nick, panic chocking his veins like radioactive fallout in a dust storm, "Nicky! She's gone!"

"What do you mean she's gone?" The Synth asked, getting up calmly, figuring she might have gone to get noodles or something. "Sure she's fine, maybe she got hungry and went for a bite." He suggested, coming outside with the ghoul, walking through the streets with him. They checked he market, the Dugout Inn, but slowly Nick too began to worry as he realized she wasn't anywhere in the city. They began asking around to see if anyone had seen the raven haired girl. But of course no one wanted to help, at least not till one of the guards approached them quietly, in a backstreet away from the crowd. "I saw your friend, she was chasing after a guy in some sort of white outfit. Looked too clean, come to think of it. And you didn't hear anything from me, Mayor won't like it if he finds out I'm helping find someone, y'know the rules."

Nicky nodded, wasting no time following Hancock from the city, asking outside the wall. But no one wanted to help them there, so they were on their own, with no idea where to start looking. The ghoul was beside himself, "Son of a bitching fuckin' cowards!" He shouted, removing the mask and goggles as they got out of reach of the city, "What the hell are we going to do?!" Hancock kicked out an old car, needed to take the frustration out on something and it happened to be the closest.

Nick shook his head, getting a sinking feeling that something really bad was happening, something beyond just a random kidnapping by some random mercenary gone wrong. "You still got friends in the Railroad? Maybe they can put their feelers out?" He suggested, the other lifting his head in surprise. He hadn't thought to go to them, for the most part he didn't get involved in their business, mutual understanding and what not. Maybe they could actually help, Hancock nodded, "Yeah, come on."

_______________________________

Lydia chased the guy for what felt like miles, every time she would stop to catch her breath it seemed like he would wait just out of reach for her. Clearly wanting her to follow, but why? Where was he leading her? Before long she found herself inside one of the few buildings still mostly standing, just a two story thing, a Ms. Nanny bot hovering up to her when she entered, "Hello, welcome to Cambridge Polymer Labs, are you here for the job interview?" The robot asked in a pleasant female voice, its arms motioning like a persons, like it was programmed to act like. Confused the raven looked around them, she was sure she had seen that guy come in there, "Sure...what's the job?" She asked off-handily, listening to the thing tell her about a few different job opportunities, the raven answering the one question test without much thought. The robot announced she was hired and lead her to a back room, giving her some overalls, telling her to change. She didn't, just tossed them aside and told the Ms. Nanny she wanted to get straight to work. Anything to speed this along, get a chance to scope the building better, this overwhelming need to find that man clouding her better judgement like way too many chems.

"Please step into the clean room." It told her, which made her frown a little, getting an off feeling about this. But as they came into the control area, just before the clean room, she saw the red haired man she had been chasing waiting for her inside. "Hey!" Rushing in, the door sliding shut behind her with a soft whoosh of air, but she paid no mind to it. "Who are you?" Lydia begged, wanting to know, to understand why she felt like crying when she looked at him. What was this feeling caused from?!

The robot triggered the clean room procedure and no sooner did the sprayers activate than the Geiger counter on her _Pip-Boy_ began going crazy in her bag, a gasp leaving her, she tried to find an escape. That insane robot was doing the opposite of cleansing them! Spotting a hole in the wall, she moved to run, but the man grabbed her arm in a bruising grip. "Let go, we need to get out of here!" She insisted in a panic, fear for both their safety bubbling in her stomach, along with an unease that felt very foreign with this person. But he only grinned at her, this mile-long grin that chilled her insides. "Your not leaving here...Hehehe~ Your going to die here. Should have just left the past forgotten dear, you could have been happy." 'Nate' told her in a familiar voice, at last letting her go and stepping back. A bright flash almost blinded her and when she could again see he was just gone. The raven was soaked in the radioactive material from the sprayers, feeling nausea washing over her, "Shit...gotta get this stuff off..." She stumbled from the room, through the hole in the metal walls. The next room was basically empty, the first of many rooms that had once been part of a busy laboratory. A string of mumbled curses left her as she tried to find something to wash the stuff off her, reaching into her bag, but all she had was the chems, left over food and ammo. And Hancock's coat and hat.

Lydia felt a pang of guilt and worry, she should have stayed there, should never have followed that stranger. What the hell was she thinking? Why hadn't she just gone back in the office and gotten John and Nick?! Now she was in trouble with no way for her friends to know where she even was. "Damnit...why am I always so stupid?" Wandering into another room, she searched for something useful, but only found junk. "At least it can't get worse..." She sighed, leaning against a wall, mind racing for anything that mind help get her out of this mess.

The sound of a low, hissing groan caught her ear, making her turn very slowly. Thankfully she spotted the feral ghoul before it spotted her, ducking behind an overturned table, slamming a hand over her mouth. Mentally cursing, taking a peak over the table as the thing shuffled by. Things had defiantly gotten worse. Quietly she snuck back toward the clean room, maybe the robot would just let her out? It wasn't like it had locked her in, right?

The sprayers were at least off now. Approaching the window, she saw the Ms. Nanny, waving at it from the other side of the glass. "Hey, let me out! I don't want this job after all. I quiet!" She told it, but it just did a little spin, "Negative. No one leaves until the project is completed, Director Elwood has instigated a mandatory lock down until further notice." The robot replied in a chipper, straight forward tone, doing a spin of its arms.

The raven's vision swam a little, having to catch her breath, her heart was beating way to fast. The _Pip-Boy_ was still clicking like mad in her bag, the noise making it harder to focus, "Are you fucking insane? I'm not a scientist!" She pleaded, leaning up against the glass, feeling like she might be about to pass out. A growl startled her, barely dodging the grabbing hands of the feral that had no doubt heard her talking to the dumb as shit robot, the strap of her bag snapping and tumbling to the floor as she ran from the room. Quickly finding there was more than one of the damned things.

Barreling into an atrium like room, she skidded, tumbling across the floor thanks to a large crater of water. Gasping, she looked up, rolling in time to dodge the teeth of another feral. Seeing a set of stairs she scrambled to her feet, gunning for them, hoping to get out of their reach. Ducking out of the way of one diving for her from the next floor, she whipped her knife around, slicing its calf so it rolled into the other chasing after her. Wide eyed and terrified, she searched for a place to hide, feeling like a complete fool for not staying with her friends like she should have.

* * *

 

It was after dark by the time someone in _Goodneighbor_ was able to reach Hancock's contact in the _Railroad._ The good mayor pacing his sitting room in the state house, looking ready to tear the whole damn city down. Black eyes lifted as soon as someone familiar entered, a small amount of relief in them, "Deacon! I need your help, you have more eyes and ears on this city than-" The bald man waved him off, smiling behind his sunglasses, "Yeah, yeah, no need to flatter me. I've already been told about what you needed. I've got everyone I can spare looking, shouldn't be long before we hear something. Just relax!" That was so the wrong thing to say, the ghoul's dark eyes flashing with anger, a sizable hole punched in the wall near him. "I am not going to relax! Goddamnit, the next person to tell me that's getting his fucking brains blown out!" The ghoul shouted, seething with rage, he pulled his bloodied fist from the wall and shakily picked up an inhaler of Jet from the counter and took a few hits.

Nick cleared his throat, standing up and guiding Deacon from the room, the shorter man looking pretty confused and startled by the mayor's obvious anger. "The hell's his problem? He's never been this freaked out about anything." Deacon pointed out as the old detective lead him downstairs, hopefully out of ear shot of the rampaging ghoul. "Yeah, its a bit different when you care about someone as more than a friend Deacon." He commented, glancing up the stairs with a wince, hearing something smashing against the wall, sounded like a vase. "Not to mention the girl is pretty unstable right now, she struggling to recover from a pretty bad case of amnesia and there's no telling where she went or even why. The only clue we have is the guys she was seen chasing."

"Well damn, you should have said something sooner. I'll see if anyone's heard anything yet." They parted ways, Nick hanging out downstairs awhile, not really sure how to handle Hancock when he was like this. He hadn't seen him this upset since the whole thing in Diamond City had gone down. The glow of his lite cigarette parted the shadows of the worn fedora leaned forward on his head, "This had better end well." He mumbled, putting the butt out and walking back up the stairs, Fahrenheit trying and failing to get the mayor to relax.

* * *

 

Lydia had managed to find a room via the collapsed portion of roof on the second floor, taking out the only ghoul there and the ones that followed her from the hole above. The fall into the room had left her when and injured ankle, having twisted it when she tripped out of the hole and onto the damaged metal floor. In all the chaos she had even managed to set off a tesla coil trap and electrocuted her self pretty good, a few nasty scorch marks littering her skin. It was hours before she relaxed even a little bit, laying on the floor in the back of the room, heaving for breath. It was getting hard to breath and even harder to stay focused. Hugging her shotgun for dear life, she waited for either those ghouls to find her or for the rads to finally kill her...Her only hope now was the ham radio she had found in the room, having sent out a distress message on it, praying someone would come.

_Two days later..._

It was starting to look hopeless, completely and totally. There had been no word from Deacon and Hancock had resorted to sending many of his own men into the city to search for Lydia, but nothing had turned up. Not even a single item of hers. At this point it was taking both Nick and Fahrenheit to even keep him alive, let alone preventing him for rushing out on his own. Nick stayed by the door, whilst the ginger haired woman sat across from the mayor, trying to distract him with chess. Though it was useless when he was stoned out of his damned mind, they had been forced to hide most of his stash on top of everything so he wouldn't end up overdosing.

"Maybe she doesn't want to be found?" Fahrenheit suggested off-handily, the room dead quiet, Nick not saying anything to that. He really was starting to hate the ginger woman, she seemed like she was trying to provoke John much of the time. But the ghoul across from her only made a soft noise, "She didn't just run away...Not after...she wouldn't..." He mumbled incoherently, staring up at the ceiling. Trying to make sense of it all, finding some kind of clue in something she had said or done. They had really hit it off in the Dugout and he found it impossible to think she might have just run off like that, surely she wasn't that type?

Downstairs the door to the state house opened, three sets of eyes turning to the stairwell simultaneously. With baited breath they waited, seeing Deacon's head pop up over the railing, face red from running and a bit out of breath. "We have a lead! But we gotta hurry, its not a good one!"

Hancock was on his feet in seconds, stumbling drunkenly, shotgun already in hand. Fahrenheit moved to stop him, "Woah, you are in no condition to be out there!"

"She's right. You'll get chewed up and spit out. You can't even walk straight." Nick agreed, going toward the stairs himself, intending to go either way. "Oh hell no...I am not going to sit here on my fucking ass any longer!" The mayor bit out, shoving his ginger haired second out of the way, walking a little straighter, having to focus hard to do so, but he had to prove he could. Deacon made a face when the guy tripped on thin air, "As much as I want to agree with them, we actually might need him." He said hesitantly, leading the small group outside and to where the apparent lead was.

Fahrenheit's mouth opened a little, but Nick was the one to ask why, glaring at the _Railroad_ agent. "Well the lead came in the form of a distress signal. A female voice was asking for help, said she was trapped in a feral riddled old laboratory. My source said they could hear a Geiger counter clicking in the background, or at least they assumed it was." The bald man explained as the four of them headed out, a fifth person joining in as they left from _Goodneighbor_. It was close to sunset. "Seriously?! How old was the message?" An Irish accented voice cut in, Nick glancing back and seeing a red headed woman he was told was named Cait, another of the raven's friends she had made since the memory loss.

"No idea. I was told it repeats every few hours, other than that its static and the sounds of a struggle. We tracked the signal to the old Cambridge Polymer Labs." Deacon explained as the group made its way through the crumbling city, Hancock seemed to be sobering up pretty quickly, determination in his black eyes. "You mean the place those eyebots are always going on about?" Nick asked, frowning a little. "That's right. Rumors are pretty rampant about people going in and not coming back out, the _Railroad_ put up a sign to try and deter people. I can't imagine why anyone would go in there on their own."

"She didn't...someone lead her there." Hancock spoke up, voice low and harsh, Nick nodded beside him in agreement. "According to the only witness willing to talk to us, she was chasing a man in clean white clothes with red hair."

Deacon frowned, "Could have been the _Institute_ , but seems unlikely they would target some random girl like this."

"Before the amnesia she was tracking a known mercenary named Kellog. The guy was the most likely suspect in the murder of her husband and sons kidnapping." Nick went on, "I suspected he was involved with the _Institute_ , would have explained a lot. But I couldn't prove anything."

"And you would have been correct. Kellog is one of their men on the outside. My guys have been trying to hunt him down for years, with no success. I take it you found him?"

"That's right. We tracked him to Fort Hagen, but I lost track of her during a tussle with some gen one synths and took off, figuring she had escaped as well. But I couldn't find her afterward and Kellog vacated pretty quick too. So the case went cold. I did my best to try and find her myself, but as it turns out she showed up on my doorstep the other day. With our good mayor here no less." Nick smirked a little, glancing at Hancock, but the man was in no mood for light heartedness. The ghoul was starting to move ahead of the group, the adrenaline burning the chems in his veins, fueling him to push on. He was the first to reach the labs, followed by Nick and then the rest. He didn't even pause for the Ms. Nanny, searching the rooms, quickly. "Lydia?! Lydia, where are you?!" The mayor's voice echoed in the mostly empty building, no replies reaching him. Somewhere he heard a fight going on among his companions and the robot he had ignored, before Nick was leading the way down a hallway he had missed. "The labs back this way, lets hope I can hack the computer, cause the robots no help now."

Reaching a control room, the detective began clacking away on the machine, Hancock anxiously waiting beside him. Looking through the glass into the next room, his eyes caught sight of a familiar brown bag, heart skipping a beat. "That's Lydia's..." He breathed, the panic welling in his stomach like ice forming on a river. "How can you be so sure?" Cait asked from some where behind him, but he didn't answer, Nick yelling out in triumph at the same time the doors opened. "Because I just do!" Everyone rushed in, weapons at the ready, their ghoul friend stopping to double check the bag. "This is hers alright..." He mumbled, finding his red coat and hat inside, he retied the strap and threw it over his shoulder. "She's got to be here." He said firmly, pressing on into the next room, the others already taking out the ferals.

They searched the building up and down, taking out a large number of feral ghouls, before locating a section of collapsed ceiling in an upstairs office. Climbing up into a crawl space, Hancock followed it around a curve, his companions close behind, shotgun ready for anything. Anything but what he found...

Another hole lead into another room, previously unaccusable thanks to the collapsed walkway outside. On the floor were several mangled feral's near where the hole let out, a trail of blood leading farther into the room, little scorch marks on the floor and wall in the corner where something lay half curled.  Something still breathing small labored gasps. Raven hair was plastered to her face and neck, both from blood and some unknown substance. Same went for her clothes that were tattered from a recent scuffle and held obvious scorching. Near by was what was no doubt a pool of vomit and by the glow it was pretty clear the raven's body had tried to expel the radiation it had taken in.

Hancock grit his teeth, calmly lowering himself from the ceiling, some bits of tile cracking under his weight. The sound echoed in the room, he almost jumped out of his own skin when Lydia shot up, her own gun unsteadily aimed in his vague direction wavering to and fro. Barely having the strength to hold it up longer than that it clattered to the floor beside her, the raven falling back a second after, just laying there. Still as death. His heart hammered in his chest as he crossed the room, "Jesus...Lydia!" Kneeling on his knees beside her, reaching out to touch her. Feeling that tell-tell tingling feeling in his skin before he even made contact, she was covered in something radioactive that was for sure. Which would explain the reason she seemed to sick and weak.

"Lydia...Can you hear me...? What happened...?" Gruff voice soft, he lay a hand on her forehead, she was burning up with fever. Hazy eyes fluttered a moment at the sound of his voice, but it was the only response he got. Nick and the others appeared from the ceiling, the detective stopping the others from approaching. "Wait, there's a lot of rads...coming from over there." He said hesitantly, approaching John's side, seeing the weakened woman on the floor.

"It's her...she's soaked in something nasty. We need to get her out of here and cleaned up. Fast." Hancock told them, lifting the raven easily into his arms without hesitation. Nick wordlessly unlocking the door via the terminal in the room, the ghoul moving passed him and jumping down to the ground floor. The movement must have jostled he girl in his hold, a weak sound like a whimper leaving her, those blue eyes opening briefly to gaze up at him. Recognition crossing her expression, "John...?" The name was barely a whispered breath, the ghost of a smile on her lips as he nodded, trying to appear calm as he smiled back at her reassuringly. "Morning Sunshine...." He murmured, not caring if the others heard, no one said anything if they had. "...John...I-I...I'm sorry....shouldn't have...run off....so stupid..." He only caught bits and pieces of her words, his hands shaking a little as he held her, she was delirious. Outside in the fresh air, he stopped at an empty bench, laying her down. "What are you doing?" Deacon asked, concern lacing his own voice, Cait looking more than a little irritated. "We're sittin' ducks out here, we need to keep movin'."

"Do any of you have some water?" The mayor asked, on one knee beside the bench, digging through the raven's recovered pack for fresh water. Nick handed him a container, "Here, its all I got."

"We gotta get whatever she's soaked in off, now. Before the rads leak into her brain anymore than they already have..." Hancock explained, opening the bottle, carefully pouring it over her hair first and doing his best to get it off her face. "That's all fine and dandy, but her cloths are soaked to." Deacon pointed out uncomfortably, the whole party looking between themselves. Fahrenheit made a face, "Crap...Alright, lets search around and see if we can't find something. I saw some raiders camped out not far from here. C'mon Cait." The ginger woman said, the red head agreed quickly following her. "I'll see if I can get some more water." Deacon said, rushing off, leaving only Nick and Hancock to deal with the unconscious raven. The detective sighed, "At least their attempting to help and not out right denying to assist in this." He mumbled, a little annoyed they had left the two of them with her. Mostly cause he was not sure what to do himself, other than monitor.

* * *

 

It was morning before they made it back to _Goodneighbor_ , Lydia still out cold, but at least her breathing was slowing to a normal rate. Fahrenheit had managed to find more water, as did Deacon, and some RadAway. All of which helped greatly. They had been forced to scrap the raven's clothes though, deeming them unsavable. Hancock, with Nick's help, had managed to change the raven out of them. Putting his frock coat on her while they waited on the others to return with something more suitable. Which hadn't been much.

The whole thing probably should have been far more embarrassing, but given the urgency of the life or death situation they had managed to not focus on it much. Though it would no doubt come up later.

A few more RadAway and some Stimpak's later and Lydia was resting peacefully, but still not showing signs of waking. What was worse was the fact the rads wouldn't completely go away. They weren't per say at a dangerous level, but they were higher than what a normal person should emit. In fact they were ghoul level, not Feral, but what a typical ghoul emitted on a daily basis. However she showed no signs of turning into a ghoul, her skin stayed smooth, no hair loss or drastic changes in her features. Amari couldn't even tell them what was going on, but she would check in frequently, just to monitor Lydia's health. Hancock got little rest, when he wasn't by Lydia's bedside, he was dealing with matters in _Goodneighbor_. Keeping the peace as it were, a full time job it seemed at the worst of times. Not many were taking his leave well, despite him being right back in only a few days. Finally, after almost three days of waiting, relief came. The raven was awake and seemed to be coherent, in good spirits as well when Hancock made it up to her room. Blue eyes met black, smile spreading across pink lips, "There you are! Nick was just telling me how you guys found me. John...what's wrong?" Her smile faltered when the ghoul didn't smile back, crossing the room and wrapping her in a tight hug, his face buried in her hair. Surprised by the sudden show of affection, she lifted a hand to lay gently on his back, "Are you okay...?"

"I thought...you were going to die..." He said softly, Nick getting to his feet and leaving, deciding they needed their alone time. Lydia frowned, softly sighing, closing her eyes a moment as she hugged him back. "....I thought I was to..." She replied, hazy eyes opening, but not really focused on anything. "I'm so sorry....I wasn't thinking...I was just," She paused a moment, her breath having caught on a sob that had almost slipped, unable to stop the tears, as she thought of the red haired man who had lead her to the lab. "I **knew** him, John. I could feel it...I knew him. And I wanted to know who he was. I shouldn't have followed him. And I won't ever do that again, I swear!" The ghoul didn't answer, but he did relax a little, sitting back on the edge of the bed. "I swear at times you have a death wish." He mumbled, but smirked a little, glad when she smiled back. "Maybe a small one." She joked, wiping her face on the sleeve of the coat she only then realized she was wearing. Blinking, she looked down at the red material and blushed, realizing she had nothing else on under it. "Is this...? Did you...? Oh my god..." Lydia's face went bright red, as did her friends, though it was harder to tell beneath the scars, waving his hands. "Its not what you think! Y-You were soaked in rads! We had to ditch your cloths! I wasn't looking I promise..." He paused, "Okay...I might have looked a little, but I wasn't really thinking about it..."

Blue eyes went wide, her face turning impossibly redder, "We?!" She squeaked, "Who the hell is we?!" John looked to the door, hoping for some sort of help, but they were alone. He tried to explain what had happened, only now really embarrassed about it, but the funny thing was he hadn't actually seen anything, at least nothing he could recall now. Too busy worrying about her health to notice. Which almost disappointed him, not that he was going to tell her that. Thankfully Amari showed up soon after, giving him the perfect chance to escape, desperately needing some air.

Sometime later Lydia sat on the edge of the bed, trying to wrap her mind around what Doctor Amari was telling her. "So I'm....not turning into a ghoul...exactly...? But I am...a ghoul? H-How does that even work?"

The brunette doctor patiently, sat in the chair next to the bed, "Its complicated, as I said before. Just don't think to hard about it, it is what it is and there's nothing to be done about it. You should still avoid taking a lot of rads either way."

"Right..." The raven ran a hand through her hair, pushing it out of her face as she stood from her bed, stretching. Despite the ordeal she felt pretty good, better than she had in a while in fact. Lydia felt ready for almost anything. Once Amari left she got dressed in some jeans she had and a simple t-shirt she had bought a while back, a little black number with some kind of paint splashed across it. Someone had left her a new pair of shoes, apparently her old ones had been ditched along with the rest of her clothes. As much as it disappointed her to lose her favorite sweater, as ratty as the thing had been, at least she had something else to wear. She stood in her room, ready to go, but pausing to pick up the red frock coat she had been wearing. Biting her lip, blue eyes glanced at the stairs, then back at the aged coat. It was a regal sort of thing, she thought, in such good shape to be so old. But it was not its age or its condition that made her heart do a little dance. It was the thought of the man it belonged to, the man who had saved her life three times now and still put up with her. Still worried over her and was willing to go through so much hell for her sake.

Thinking back to that night in Diamond City, to his words after she had asked if they were really only friends. _'I've been having slightly more impure thoughts lately...maybe we could act on those?'_ A giddy little laugh left her, at least now she knew he did actually like her in a similar way. If only their lives weren't so complicated. Then again maybe they wouldn't stay that way forever, at least she hoped not. Lydia took a deep breath, that smell of chems and cigarettes, gun oil and something she couldn't place but instinctively knew it was all Hancock filling her nose from the coat. Biting her lip, she cleared her throat, mentally calming down before descending the stairs. Nick and Hancock were waiting in the sitting room with Fahrenheit and Cait, as well as a man in sunglasses she didn't think she knew. But she had seen him around town, maybe, he looked a lot like a lot of people now that she thought about it. Handing the coat to her ghoulish friend, she smiled a bit. "Looking pretty good for someone who sucked down that many rads." Cait commented, smirking a bit at the raven from where she leaned up against the wall.

Lydia nodded, "Yeah, I'm actually feeling better than ever." She replied, crossing her arms, she looked up to Hancock. "So...we didn't get very far. Can't stay away, huh?" He laughed at the tease, putting his coat on, feeling a bit more like himself now that he had it and his hat back. "Clearly."

"The question is now...how should we continue." Nick said, putting out a cigarette he had been smoking, leaning back on the couch. "Given what's happened, I think it would be best that whatever the venture we start working together on this one." The raven looked away, rubbing her arm, "About that...Maybe....its better if I don't remember. I mean...its almost got me killed at least twice, my past I mean, that I know of. And I don't want to drag all of you into this if its that dangerous." Hazy eyes looked to the floor, strands of black half hiding her face. "None sense, kid. We're in this with you for the long haul. Besides, there's a kid out there somewhere who needs his mother." Nick got to his feet, John nodding in agreement, "He's right, Lydia. I'm not going to lie, there's a lot of shit in my past I'd like to forget. But the memories are what make us, their important wither or not we like them." The raven didn't look up, dark hair shadowing her face, "But I..." Lydia mumbled, thinking long and hard over their words before at last lifting her head. "Your right. I can't give up. Besides, I won't be falling for that shit trick again." There was a pause, "And I think I might know where to start...I don't know if I was just delirious, but I think I remembered the name of the place I came from. Sanctuary, I think."

"I've heard of it." The man in sunglasses said suddenly, breaking the confused murmurs that had broken out among those present, "Pretty recent settlement, near Concord. Up till a year ago the only resident was a weird Mr. Handy that insisted on constantly trimming the hedges in front of this one house like nothing was going on around it." He continued, seeming to be thinking out load, "About a day or two walk from here I'd say."

"Well its a start, maybe something there with jog the rest of your memories. Worst case scenario you go to Fort Hagen." Nick said, lighting another cigarette, the glow illuminating his face. The raven nodded, sighing a little, "As much as I hate to say it...is it really a good idea to travel in such a large group? Even the caravans only travel in threes." She pointed out, glancing at her friends around the room. It went silent, everyone looked at each other, before the sunglasses guy spoke up again. "Just to point out, nothing against you, but I've got other things to handle. And in answer to the question, no its not a safe idea for everyone to go."

"He's right...So who goes and who hangs back?" Nick asked, looking at the raven, "It's up to you, Kid." Lydia bit the inside of her cheek, looking between them all, heart hammering. She hated to think she might hurt someone's feelings, "Well I...I mean, I don't know..." The words were stammered, tumbling over each other in a nervous little spill. John smirked a little crossing his arms, "I think Nick and I should go. Seeing as Nick knew you before and I've spent the most time with you compared to these asshats." Cait made an indignant comment, looking a little offended at being called an asshat, but didn't other wise argue. Fahrenheit only laughed, "He's got a point though. I can't really go, someone's got to hold the fort down here."

"Guess its settled then." Nick smiled, blowing out a little cloud, "We can head out tomorrow." 


	8. Death Wish

The trip toward Sanctuary was surprisingly dull. The three of them, Hancock, Nick, and Lydia, ran into few obstacles. Outside the city ruins it was just open sky and fields littered with scraps of metal and scattered settlements. The raven found it relaxing, walking a little ahead of her companions, humming softly to the tunes on her _Pip-Boy_. She had particularly fond of some romantic songs lately, nothing to mellow or gushy, just a good combination of rock and some techno-esk sort of stuff.

Hancock was as far from relaxed as it got. All he wanted to do was shoot the fucking sun. "Why hasn't anyone turned that thing off?" He mumbled, keeping his hat tilted down a bit to shade his face, grumbling little curses. Nick only chuckled softly, he doubted John had been outside the city since he was a kid, let alone this far outside _Goodneighbor_.

"Lighten up, its a nice day. Even the raiders seem to be relaxing." Nick told him, nudging him with his metal elbow as he lit a cigarette. The ghoul growled a little, "Easy for you to say, your eyes aren't trying to burn out of your skull." He replied, rubbing his face with rough hands, up ahead he could hear Lydia mumbling along to her music. "Then try focusing on something else?" The detective suggested, smirking a little as he looked around, still a little cautious. Even as peaceful as it seemed one could never be too safe.

The mayor hummed, black eyes down cast, his ears focusing on their shorter friend. _'And that's what we are...friends?'_ His jaw tightened at the words ringing in his head, glancing up at the raven haired woman. What were they exactly? If not friends...Distractedly listening to her soft words as she sang along, her voice had a sort of soothing effect and he was more than certain he could listen to it all day long. Almost as sweet as a good hit of Calmex...John kept pondering what they were. Obviously not lovers, at least not yet and he was damned tempted to change that. But did she really want someone like him? For one night let alone any length of time? The ghoul sighed, just as a shadowed cast over them, making him glance up at the source. A cloud. Why couldn't there be more? So distracted by the cloud he didn't notice Lydia and Nick had stopped, almost tripping over the raven girl who had knelt on her knee with her rifle ready. "Woah! What? What is it?!" He asked, looking past her, trying to see what they were seeing. "When did it get so damn quiet?" He asked warily, lowering himself beside her, trying to see ahead.

Lydia frowned deeply, looking through the scope of her gun, focused on it. "Deathclaw...but it looks injured." She replied softly, lowering the gun a bit. "Good. Think you can take it out?" Nick asked, knelt down on her other side her, only just able to make out the dark shape in the distance. The raven's eye sight really was fantastic, made him wonder if she was a sniper in the past or something. "Are you guys high? Cause I don't see anything." Hancock pointed out, crossing his arms, pretty sure no one had tapped the stash of chems he was carrying. Speaking of, he pulled out a Jet, taking a hit and sighing contently. "Better..." He mumbled, hearing a soft chuckle that he was sure was Lydia, because she was shaking her head.

"Yeah, I got this." The raven replied at last to Nick, lifting the rifle again, taking aim. The gunshot was loud, almost deafening in the near silence. Ahead there was a roar and then a loud thud. John blinked in surprise, there really had been a Deathclaw?! "I need to get my eyes checked..." He whispered to himself, earning him another small laugh from Lydia who got to her feet. "I doubt that. Its probably all the bright light." She pointed out, smiling in that cute, addictive way of hers. Confusing her ghoul friend, "Huh?"

She mulled over how to explain it to him, "Your eyes are always dilated right? And Goodneighbor is in a pretty dimly lite area of the city...so the bright sunlight is probably messing with your vision. You just need sunglasses." The raven said, wishing she had some to give him, he really did seem out of his element out here. "Are they? I never noticed I guess..." He replied, wondering now what his eyes looked like again, he hadn't seen his reflection in so much as a puddle in years. Couldn't stand looking at himself before going ghoul and after? Hancock pushed the thoughts from his mind, not wanting to go down that road right then. Continuing on their way, they eventually made it to the dead Deathclaw laying in the grass, it looked to have been in a nasty fight with something equally large. Nick and Hancock kept moving, but Lydia couldn't help stopping, feeling a little bad for the large creature that could rip a man in half with one swipe of its claws. "You can rest easy now...no more pain..." She mumbled to it, reaching out to lay a gentle hand on its horn. Ahead of her the boys had noticed her absence and stopped to see what was going on, both of them surprised, looking at each other a moment. "She has problems." Nick said quietly, Hancock nodding in agreement. "Come on, that things a monster, no need to feel bad about it. Besides you probably saved a lot of lives taking it out." The ghoul said, walking back to where his friend was, the raven standing up. She looked so sad, it nearly hurt him just looking at her, "It's not its fault...that's just nature. Like a dog or a cat in the wild."

John shook his head, "You sure your not high?" He asked, watching her a moment, before looking around again. A sound somewhere catching his attention, putting him instantly on the defensive, shot gun ready. "What was that?! Something...something moved." The ghoul hissed, but Lydia only laughed a little, "I don't know about me, but I'm pretty sure you are. Nothing moved." She replied, looking over the Deathclaw again, something catching her eye. Lifting the creatures heavy, limp hand, she pulled something about the size of a melon out of its dead grasp, lifting it into the light for a better look. "Is this...an egg?" The raven asked allowed, looking over the tan colored thing with little brown speckles on it. Hancock nearly chocked when he turned and saw it, "Jesus, we have to smash it!"

Nick nodded in agreement, "He's right. That thing hatches it'll be trouble."

The raven frowned, hugging the fragile egg, "I certainly will not. Its just a baby, its innocent and there's no proof it will hurt us. For all we know it can be trained. Like a dog!" Lydia argued, stepping away when John attempted to take the thing from her, glaring at him. "At least let me try? If it turns out I can't I'll kill it myself!"

The mayor took a deep breath and mumbled a curse, glaring back in distaste, Nick put his hands up when he looked to him for advise. "I'm not arguing one way or the other. Historically almost anything can be trained if you have a knack for it." Hancock groaned, "I swear to god this better be a Jet hallucination." The ghoul sighed, pinching the bridge of what was left of his nose, giving in. Lydia grinned, tucking the egg gently into her bag, wrapped in her jacket she wasn't currently wearing. Closing the bag, she started walking again, humming a happy tune like she wasn't carrying the most dangerous creature in the commonwealth in her bag. Hancock just watched her walk off, sighing heavily, Nick laughing a bit. "Stubborn little thing isn't she?"

"Yeah..." John couldn't help liking that about her, when she wanted something she got it, one way or another. She was exactly his kind of trouble...

* * *

 

That night they camped out at an old drive-in movie, Hancock only knew that's what it was because Nick told him when he asked. Lydia seemed especially excited about it for some reason, darting about the building that served as an outdoor restaurant at some point and apparently housed the machine used to put the movie on the screen across the lot. He followed the raven up the two flights of stairs to the top, standing in the stairwell since the space was so small. The machine hung over head, no power to it now. A mattress was laying against the wall of a small walk way, along with a long forgotten skeleton of some poor soul who had lived there. "Least we got somewhere semi-comfortable to sleep..." John commented, the raven looking down at him from where she was perched on a small cabinet, straining to reach some loose wires, "Ew...I hope your planning to flip that over first...that guy probably decayed right there." She pointed out, dangerously close to the edge of the metal cabinet. Hancock winced when she almost slipped, climbing up onto the platform and reaching out to steady her, his hands clamping onto her hips. He hadn't thought much on the action until she froze, turning a reddened face to him, which made his own face heat up. "W-What are you doing?" Lydia stammered, blinking those bright blue eyes at him, somewhere in the back of his mind he noticed they seemed far brighter than he last remembered.

"I could ask you the same sister. The hell are you trying to do?" He replied, avoiding the question for some reason, feeling like his heart was racing faster than a hit of Psycho. The raven shook her head, reaching for the wires again, "I wanted to see if I could get the projector working..." She answered, one hand braced on the wall, the other just out of reach of the loose wire above her.

"Damnit...so close...Ah! Got it!" The raven grinned, pulling the wire toward her, now flat on the feet again. She attached it to the old breaker box, sparks flying a little when she reattached the wire, and the machine came to life with soft whir. Light erupted from it, shooting out to the screen across the way. From the many speakers in the lot below sound began to play, a narrator announcing the movie title and such. "No way! Hahaha~ Kent's going to drop when I tell him about this!" Lydia said excitedly, gazing out at the screen, seeing it was playing _'The Silver Shroud'_. Hancock couldn't help laughing a bit, "Yeah, he'll be all over this one." The raven climbed off the cabinet, "Maybe some time I can bring him back here!" She said, smiling a bit until she realized how close they were standing to each other, hardly a hair could have fit between them. Her face turned dark red, looking up into black eyes, feeling a warm hand lift to rest on her arm. Heart fluttering like a bird, stomach defiantly having gone out the window. "John..." The word was softer than the beat of a birds wing, drifting through the air like a stray feather in the breeze, "Hmmm...?" Hancock was in a trance, lost in the pool of glowing blue and the smell of flowers and gun smoke.

He was getting closer, their lips inches apart, both of them holding their breath. "You guys dead up there or what?!" Both jumped nearly a foot in the air at the sound of Nick's voice calling up the stairwell. Lydia's foot slipping, Hancock gasped and reached out to catch her, but over stepped. The two rolled down the stairs to the first landing, the raven landing on top of the ghoul, a little groan leaving each of them. "Damn Nicky...D'ja have to yell?" John mumbled, laying on the metal ground, lifting a hand to rub his aching head. "You alright?"

Lydia nodded, sitting up, rubbing her shoulder. "Yeah...ow..." Hazy eyes opened, gazing down at the man beneath her, blushing deeply. A startled sound left her as she scrambled off him, **almost** falling down the other flight of stairs, John sitting up instantly to catch her but only succeeding in slamming his head into hers with a soft thwack! Both of them cursed, rubbing their bruised foreheads. Black eyes met blue. And then they were both laughing. Hancock's laughter lowered after a moment, allowing him to enjoy the sound of her, listen to that easy joy in voice. She really was addictive...

Nick leaned on the wall at the top of the stairs, smirking a bit, "When you two love birds are done, I made dinner." The synth pointed out, chuckling at how embarrassed Lydia became and how Hancock glared at him for it. The mayor smirked a little after a moment, "I didn't think Synth's could cook."

"Oh, har har." Nick rolled his eyes, walking back outside to the camper fire he had made.

* * *

 

The next morning was foggy as hell, you couldn't have seen two feet in front of you if you tried. "Damn...maybe we should hang here for the day?" Nick commented, peering out into the stuff as he waited for the other two to get ready. "Screw that, I'm not sleeping on that cold metal again." Hancock replied, arms crossed tightly over his chest, it was surprisingly cold today. Even the raven had opted to wear her jacket, which proved problematic in its own right. Lydia nodded in agreement to John's statement, despite the mattress she had ended up on the metal floor too, a bit to creeped out to sleep otherwise. So they were both sore as hell that morning, Nick on the other hand was great, being a robot he could literally sleep anywhere anyway. The smaller of the three was currently fussing over what to do with the Deathclaw egg she was carrying, wanting to make sure it was padded, not wanting to freeze in the cold either. Sighing she ended up foregoing her jacket in favor of protecting the egg. "Your going to catch your death of cold like that." Nick commented as she trotted down the stairs, but she shook her head, "Its not as bad as it was when I went on a job a few months ago. The idea is to keep moving, that way I don't get cold!" She replied optimistically, leading the way out, doing a quick check on her _Pip-Boy_ to be sure they were going the right way and marking this place on her map for later. "If I'm right it shouldn't be much farther to Concord and then Sanctuary."

"Good, I don't know how much more of this sunshine and fresh air I can take." Hancock commented, currently huffing a bit of Jet, smiling a little dopily afterward. He mumbled something afterward about wishing he had something stronger, the raven frowning a little over her shoulder, "You need to slow down on that stuff...Fahrenheit asked me to remind you that you need to be focused out here." The mayor made an annoyed sound, blowing her off, "Fahrenheit mothers me like a damn hen. I'm fine."

The raven sighed, but let it go for now, eyes forward as they were cresting a hill, ears listening intently for any out of place noises. But like the day before it seemed rather peaceful, the fog aside at least, which put her nerves on edge. Almost tempted to ask John for a hit of Jet herself, if only to relax a bit, but didn't. The streets of Concord were eerily quiet, the fog only making it a thousand times worse and Lydia found herself slowing down with a deep sense of dread over taking her. She felt like she might be on the verge of a panic attack, like the one she had experienced in Nick's office. "It's too quiet..." The synth mumbled, scanning the thick fog, his robotic eyes aglow in the dimness. John seemed to be the only one not worried, but looks could be deceiving with the ghoulish mayor. His black eyes were indeed warily checking their surroundings, though he kept finding his vision glued to a certain dark haired beauty, taking notice of the slight shiver in her shoulders and the way she swayed a little. How she kept looking around a bit more wildly than normal. Cautiously, he approached her, leaning down near her ear. "You alright?"

Lydia squeaked loudly, the sound echoing in the stillness, making both men wince as she slammed a hand over her mouth. The raven's blue eyes were wide, and like this, in that lightening, the glow in their depths was unmistakable. There was no denying the ghoulish nature of her in the darkness like that, even John recognized the signs, he only hoped Amari had been right about her not going full ghoul. He really wouldn't wish it on anyone, there were far to many people in the Commonwealth who were prejudice against his kind. Lowering her hand, she whispered softly back, "I-I'm fine..." The words shook with deep set fear that did not entirely have anything to do with the fog or quiet, but even she didn't know its source.

Hancock gave her a skeptical look, reaching into his pocket and placing something in her hand, "You look like you could use this." Walking ahead, he took the lead, Nick holding up the rear instinctively. The raven opened her hand to find a Jet inhaler, smiling a little, she shot a grateful look in the ghoul's direction. He had noticed. Hancock was deceivingly perceptive for a man who was high most the time. Taking the hit, she felt that relaxing sensation come of her, slowing down a moment to enjoy it. Feeling a little better, she stayed close to her friends, perhaps a bit closer to John than Nick, though she didn't actually notice. The detective did, but said nothing to it, only smirked a little. A loud noise ahead made them all stop, crouching a little to avoid being detected by whatever it was. The heavy thud of large, familiar footsteps caught their attention, Hancock letting out a soft, vicious curse. "Deathclaw!" Lydia bit her lip, motioning to the left, a silent instruction to head that direction. The three of them stepped off the cracked pavement and into the grass, the raven lagging a little behind as they broke into a run. "I think were okay!" Nick said just loud enough both his companions could hear, but a loud roar let him know he had spoken to soon. The loud steps louder and faster than before, it was giving chase!

Hancock was close beside Lydia, easily keeping up, though he could have moved faster. He didn't want her getting left behind and, "Fuck!" The ghoul yelped, tripping on an unseen branch in the tall grass, falling flat. Lydia whipped around, skidding to a stop, Nick too stopping. "Go Nick! Get help!" She yelled, turning and running back to help Hancock. The Deathclaw reared on its hind legs, seeming to rise out of the fog like a nightmare. Letting out a deafening roar, before it charged the pair. "JOHN!" The raven screamed out, watching in horror as the massive beast swiped its razor sharp talons at the ghoul who was just getting to his feet, catching him in the side and sending him sailing through the air like a ragdoll. Blue eyes watered, vision blurring, but she blinked back the pain in favor of the fiery rage she didn't even know she possessed. Pulling up her shotgun, letting out a war cry to get the things attention, she began firing shot after shot. Each one landing, but not seeming to faze the black monster whose skin was thick as steal, now rushing toward her at top speed. "Come on you little bitch! Lets see who wants to play chicken!" She growled, tossing the gun aside and running, leading it away.

John lay in the grass a few minutes, momentarily dazed, he sifted in his bag for a Stimpak. Using it, slowly healing the majority of the damage done, he struggled onto his feet and looked around for his friends. Black eyes spotted the Deathclaw chasing after Lydia, his heart filling with cold needles of dread.

She ran toward the hillside near a run down gas station peaking out of the mist, spotting a cave and veering her path toward it, digging in her bag she pulled out a frag mine she had nicked off a raider corpse. Setting the thing, she glanced over her shoulder, seeing the beast closing in fast. Dropping it. The explosion nearly knocking her down as it went off a bit too close, but she paid this little mind, the burns and shrapnel were a minor cost. Turning around and warily searching the dust for signs of the Deathclaw, walking toward where it had been. Silence passed for a second and then two. Sure it was dead, she started back the way she had come a little more urgently. Oh but lady luck was really out to get her, as she ever was.

From the fog came slashing claws, sinking into her soft flesh, crimson splashing across her vision as the beast lifted her in the air. Its red eyes glared and it let out a roar that left her ears ringing, before slamming her into the ground with an enormous force, knocking the air from her lungs and leaving her momentarily stunned. Hazy blue eyes watched in a daze as the thing lifted its claws a second time, no doubt to finish her...

"ARF!" From above, on the hillside a large dog launched itself through the air, clamping its jaws on the monsters arm. Grateful for the distraction, Lydia crawled into the cavern from before, well away from the fight, reaching into her bag for a Stimpak. "Damn, where is it?!" She panted, looking at her bloodied left arm and side, it was a wonder it hadn't ripped her arm completely off, as it was it hung loose and numb. The raven groaned, realizing she had slipped her supply of chems into Hancock's bag to leave room for the egg in hers, worried it might get damaged. Cursing softly, she leaned against the wall, biting her lip against the pain and the nausea the smell of blood brought on.

Outside, Hancock was trying to kill the Deathclaw with the aid of the mysterious dog that had showed up. Reloading his gun, he made a face when the monster knocked the poor mutt off, the smaller creature letting out a whimper. "Bastard!" Firing two more shots, dodging the beast when he swiped at him again. In the distance he heard yelling, not taking the chance to see what it was, too busy staying alive. Nicky came over the hill, a small group of armed settlers with him, one dressed in Minutemen garb. "Ya got any explosives you've been savin' this would be the time to use em!" He heard Hancock yell, watching the man duck out of the way of the Deathclaw's gnashing teeth. Not seeing Lydia he thought the worst as he joined the fight with those he had found to help. Together the monster was far easier to take out, though still no cake walk, several people walked away with substantial injuries.

Walking over to Hancock, he took another glance around the field, "Where's the kid?" He asked, noticing the ghoul had lost his hat in the fray, along with the blood staining his now ripped coat. The question seemed to spark a realization, because the mayor looked up from where he had been leaned over with his hands braced on his knees, panic in his black eyes. "Shit! Lydia!? Where are you?!" He called out, running toward the hill he had last seen her near, spotting the large trail of blood in the grass. He let out a livid curse, following it into a small cave in the side of the earth near the station. "Lydia!? You in here?!" He called into the dimness, lit only by the glow of irradiated mushrooms.

"O-Over here..." He heard a soft voice call out, sounding a little weak. His heart gave a twist, which he tried to ignore, coming farther into the cave and spotting a figure pressed against the dirt walls. Rushing over, he crouched beside her, trying to assess the damage as best he could in the dark. "Shit, sister, you alright?" He asked, seeing the deep marks in her arm, no way to mistake that much blood. Without much thought he removed the flag from around his waist, proceeding to wrap up the wounds on her arm. "W-wait! Don't that's...that's your flag." She protested, grabbing his wrist with her good hand to stop him, but he pulled his arm away and did it anyway with a determined look. "Its only a flag, it can be replaced." He said firmly before helping her to her feet, supporting her as they made for the exit.

The raven nodded, swallowing the sickness and now guilt, "I guess..." She replied, looking up as they came into the light, a small group waiting outside. Nick was thanking a tall dark skinned man in tan clothes for the help, the man seeming far to happy to be doing so, "It's no problem, really. It's what a minuteman does! Huh? Ah! General!?"

Lydia froze next to Hancock, like a radstag in a flashlight beam, hazy eyes glancing around warily to see if the man was talking to someone else. "Me? Wh-why are you calling me that?" The man crossed the seven or so feet between them, looking excited and relieved, "Oh man! We thought you were dead General! My men have been searching months for you!" He said, taking her hand which she yanked away in confusion, the man looking a little hurt. "Look I-I don't know who you are..."

"He clearly knows you though kid. These guys are from Sanctuary." Nick explained, coming up beside them, "Sorry, but she's suffering from amnesia, you'll have to be patient." The dark skinned man frowned, but nodded in understanding, "Hm. Well, my name is Preston, its nice to meet and re-meet you all." He replied, taking it all in stride with an easy smile, before leading them back to the settlement. "Well, I hope you'll be staying with us awhile. We have a lot to catch up on."

"Yeah, as long as you got a bar I'll stay as long as you want pal." Hancock commented, getting jabbed in the ribs by the raven he was still helping, letting out a soft 'oof'. "Behave." She told him, but smiled a little, "Beside I may have found some unopened beer in that cave." This earned her a chuckle from the ghoul, "You really are the best sister." The two didn't catch the weird look Preston shot them, too busy talking softly to each other. The minuteman lead them across the remains of a wooden bridge into a bustling little settlement, people milling about doing various things, from running shops to guarding the boarders, even farming and making improvements on buildings. Lydia looked around them, feeling that small pang of familiarity, frowning a little as she attempted to remember something substantial. Hancock on the other hand was ignoring the looks they received, rather **he** received. The rude little comments and the small horrified gasps of the people they passed, their murmurs of disgust. Glancing at the raven next to him, he relaxed a little, willing to put up with the crap if only for her sake. "Anything comin' to mind?" He asked softly, getting a shake of the head in return, blue eyes looking a little annoyed. "No, not really. I feel like I know this place, but I cant...remember...Codsworth?" Her words tailed off as her eyes locked onto a Mr. Handy hovering in the distance, uselessly cutting the hedges of the only house in the settlement that looked currently vacant.

"You know that bucket of bolts?" Hancock asked, leading her toward the house, feeling only a little resistance when he did. The raven was hesitating. No doubt afraid of another incident like the one at Nick's. "It's going to be okay...I'm right here beside you." He whispered reassuringly as they came up to the robot, who swiveled its eyes to look at them. It appeared to physically jump, despite the fact it was hovering and there for technically incapable of doing so. "Mum?! Is that...oh its you! It's really you!" The Mr. Handy did a spin, "I've been so worried about you! When you didn't come back this time I was almost certain you had died! I've kept the house just as you wanted Mum! No one's been inside but me and dear Dogmeat!" It exclaimed excitedly, rushing inside and babbling something about making dinner to celebrate.

The raven looked...relieved. Felt at ease instead of panicked, "He's always been like that...so concerned about me..." She murmured, a vague memory coming to her of the robot and her in a sunny little home. The home she was standing before now, but now it looked run down and old, like everything in the Commonwealth. "So you remembered somethin'." John commented, helping her sit on the house steps, kneeling down in front of her to get a Stimpak and some Med-X from his bag. "A little. But its not very strong, it feels like something in it is still missing. Something really important and it keeps nagging at the back of my mind..." Lydia sighed heavily, looking at the ground, wishing she could just remember. "Give it time, I'm sure it'll come to ya." Hancock replied, reaching out to inject the medicine in her arm, but she stopped him, smiling that heartbreakingly warm smile of hers. "You first...Your still hurt too." Confused, he looked down at himself, seeing the places where his clothes were torn and stained. "That? Its not as bad as it looks, I already took a Stimpak earlier." The raven hummed a little in reply, letting the issue go for now, allowing her friend to give her the chems. Taking off the now very stained flag, she looked at it a little glumly, really feeling bad about it. Wondering if she could possibly save it, an idea coming to her. "Come on, I need to get something from Codsworth." And there was that addictive smile again, the one he just couldn't say no to as he stood and followed her inside. Nick had gone off somewhere, not that he really cared at the moment, this settlement seemed safe enough and the synth could more than handle himself. Hancock looked around the little house, it had a lot of patched places and rust spots on the walls, the roof was partly re-done, but it was warm and cozy. Oddly welcoming, much like the raven woman it apparently belonged to.

Lydia approached the distracted ghoul, holding some folded up clothes, "Here, change into these. Codsworth said the shower works, so you can clean up to if you want." She told him, cheeks dusted pink when his dark eyes turned to her in question, "Alright...?" He took the clothes, feeling a little out of place as he walked down the hall to the room she instructed, stepping into the small, cleanish bathroom. Setting the new clothes on the sink, he slipped out of his coat, turning at the sound of a metallic tap on the wall. It was Codsworth, "Pardon, sir, but mum asked me to take your old clothes, if you don't mind." It asked in that familiar English lit that all the Mr. Handy's shared. Confused, he took off his vest and button down shirt as well, passing them and his coat to the robot. "I want those back." He said, glaring a little suspiciously at Codsworth, who only bobbed an eye and hovered there waiting. The mayor glared, "Look pal, you want the rest you can wait out there. This ain't a strip show."

"Oh, so sorry!" The robot closed the door with an air of embarrassment, waiting on the other side for the rest, which Hancock passed through from behind the rickety metal. Sighing, the ghoul reached up to take off his hat, only to find it was gone. "Damnit...!" Groaning, he rubbed his bare head in annoyance, he would have to find that hat later. It was his favorite and he felt naked, literally right then, without it. Locking the bathroom door, he turned to the open shower, reaching in and twisting the dials. He actually **wasn't** expecting to find running water, let alone **hot** running water. But to his pleasant surprise it did in fact have exactly that and he let out a pleased little sound, it had been awhile since he had enjoyed a hot shower. Yes they had running water in the State House, but not a shower, or even a tub for that matter. He hadn't had a hot shower since he lived in Diamond City. So bathing meant having to haul buckets into a large tub, which took awhile. Which made him wonder why he had never insisted on someone figuring out how to hook up an actual bathtub. Mentally Hancock wrote a note down to remind himself to make the suggestion next time he was in _Goodneighbor_.

Lydia took the clothes when Codsworth brought them to her, smiling fondly, she thanked the robot. "Keep an eye on my friend okay? I'll be back in a bit."

"Of course Mum, I will treat him with the utmost respect!"

The raven chuckled softly, leaving the house, shutting the front door behind her as she headed down to the river to begin the task of cleaning and repairing her beloved friends things. Blushing a little, she wondered if he would be happy when he saw his things fixed. Down at the river she knelt beside the water, setting the small stack of clothing beside her on a cleanish rock. Starting with the button down, she leaned to put it in the water, but a shadow cast itself over her and she froze. Looking over her shoulder, see saw a woman, one of the settlers no doubt. She looked a little rough, expression one of utmost annoyance, but something in her eyes said she wasn't so bad. She too had black hair, short and straight, "Here, your not going to get much out without some soap." The woman said in a harsh sort of tone, holding out a box of Abraxo and a soap bar, which Lydia took gratefully. "Thanks, I have some caps to trade if you want." The settler shook her head, "Don't worry about. I still owe you for bringing us here, so its the least I can do. But, so you know I don't approve of your choice in friends." She told her, hands on her hips, before walking off in a huff. Confused, Lydia set the stuff down, deciding the soap bar would be less hard on the clothes, considering their age.

John ended up staying in the shower nearly an hour and a half, surprised to see the water actually stayed hot the whole time. Deciding not to waste whatever might be left, he got out and dried off, slipping on the new clothes. A pair of old jeans and a t-shirt, something one would not be traveling far in if they were smart. Stepping out of the bathroom, "Hey, sister, where'd you put my bag?" He called out, walking into the living room and finding her bag beside a warm fire barrel, no doubt she was trying to keep that damn egg warm. He looked around when he didn't get an answer, Codsworth coming in from outside with a basket of food stuffs, meat and veggies. "Well hello there! Mum is out and about and will be returning shortly. You have free run of the house, so please make yourself comfortable." The robot hovered into the kitchen area, which was across a counter from the living room, a large pot already boiling over a fire held within cinderblocks. The ghoul crossed his arms, wondering where she had gone. To pass the time he started investigating the small home, aside from the bathroom, he found a large room across from it filled with all sorts of boxes of things. From clothes to weapons, even chems and alcohol. This made him raise a brow, wondering why she had stored so much of this stuff. Down the hall was two more rooms, on the left the door to that room was open slightly, so he chose to check it out first.

It was dimly lite by the light passing through the tattered rags that served as large curtains in the corner windows, a decent sized bed with cleanish blankets and comfy looking pillows. Off handily he wonder where the hell they had found anything in that good of condition. That aside, there was an old dresser, the top of which was occupied by a table lamp and some picture frames. Curious, he flipped the small light on, illuminating the frames. The pictures were old and faded, but obviously taken well care of. Easily he recognized Lydia in one, standing with a red headed man with sun kissed skin, the man in military fatigues. There were several he noticed of the man, a few of them he was holding a small infant in. Only one did he find of Lydia and the infant, which she cuddled protectively, smiling that familiar easy smile of hers. This one he picked up, staring at it awhile. These were her life before, she had been so happy it seemed. "She was pretty upset when she returned the first time." Came the familiar English lit voice, Hancock lifting his head to look at the robot, setting down the frame. "Said she thought it was just a nightmare. Spent weeks cleaning and repairing the house before she realized he wasn't coming home. It was worse than when he went into the service. Poor thing."

"How bad...was it?" He probably didn't want to know, but he needed to be prepared if she got too upset from just remembering such an extreme pain. Codsworth was quiet a moment, "Hmm, she's always had it rough, you have to understand. So its no wonder she turned to the drugs and the alcohol, took everything in me to convince her not to give up hope. I really thought when she brought those people back she had gotten better. Even started helping rebuild this neighborhood to help them. But then that Garvey fellow convinced her to become a minuteman, their leader no less. She spent months running around trying to help people, ran herself right into a nasty bought of illness." The bot let out what sounded like a sigh, "That's when she decided to start looking for that man, said she would help the settlements she could while she was hunting that murderer down. Reported back every so often, then she just...stopped coming. Around the time she told me she had a solid lead on young Shaun. I thought the worst, I really did."

The mayor nodded, looking back to the pictures, before following the Mr. Handy from the room. For a moment he glanced at the door across the hall, checking to see if Codsworth was out of sight, before opening the door. Immediately he wished he hadn't.

Inside was the remains of an untouched nursery, a broken down crib, rocking chair and childs toys littering the floor. This room was the only one in the house it seemed that hadn't been redone of cleaned. Shutting the door with a soft click, he walked back down the hall to the living room, wondering if her remembering was such a good idea after all. Lydia was at least happy now, peaceful with her current life. Did they really need to ruin that? He sat down on the old couch, finding his bag next to the coffee table, digging through it and finding some Jet and his cigarette's. Laying back, he stared up at the ceiling, lost in thought. He didn't even realize it when he fell asleep.

It was just after dark when the front door opened, Lydia walking, talking softly to Nick. Seeing Hancock asleep on the couch she paused, smiling softly, putting a finger to her lips when Codsworth hovered over to greet her. Turning to her synth friend, she pointed down the hall, "You can sleep either in the bedroom or on the other couch, your choice."

"Couch." Nick replied, going to sit down on the opposite couch from John, smoking a cigarette quietly. The raven nodded, before going down the hall, she wasn't sleeping anytime soon anyway. She couldn't if she wanted to, though she did her best to appear calm, she was a mess inside. Everything about this house, this settlement, set her nerves on fire. Like there was something here she had been running from, but she couldn't decide what it was. In the bedroom, she set the clothes, now dry and clean on the bed. Taking the blanket off, she walked back to the living room, carefully laying it over her ghoul friend, before walking back. After retrieving a bowl of stew Codsworth had made, thanking the robot.

* * *

 

The next morning Hancock awoke feeling more rested than he had in ages, for once not having to worry about sleeping with one eye open. Sitting up, he stretched with a loud yawn. Rubbing his face, he reached blindly for his cigarette's on the coffee table, but lay his hand on something soft instead. Opening black eyes groggily, he found his red coat and other clothes folded there waiting, looking a lot cleaner than he ever remembered. "What...?" Lifting the coat, he noticed the holes stitched up beautifully, running his fingers over the new thread, his heart flipping a little. "Mum stayed up all night fixing those." Codsworth's voice broke in from the kitchen where he was heating last nights stew. John smirked a little, looking around, he was alone with the robot again. "Is she here?"

"No, she's gone again, went to take Dogmeat for a walk. Mr. Valentine is wandering around as well."

Nodding, the mayor went to the bathroom to change, before deciding to get some fresh air. Against his better judgment, it was bright as fuck outside and twenty times worse without his damn hat. He glared in front of him as he walked around, quietly taking in the settlement that Lydia had apparently helped build. Realizing they were more alike than he had at first thought. Maybe that's why he felt so attracted to her? "Excuse me...don't suppose you'd have some Jet to spare an old woman?" Blinking, the ghoul looked around at the frail, aged voice, spotting a small woman sitting in a green chair. Surprised, he walked over, stopping before her with a smirk on his lips. "Who says I even use the stuff?"

The woman smiled knowingly, "Because I've seen you in a vision. I saw that girl was going to meet you. Your threads are woven tightly together by fate." She told him in a wise sort of way, like she really believed it. He had heard rumors, of people who could see into the future and all that, not that he believed in that stuff. "Oh yeah? If you can see all that, then tell me..." He trailed off, loosing the confidence to even ask, sighing a bit and sitting on the ground next to the chair. Pulling out a Jet inhaler, he passed it to the woman, who gladly took it. She let out a contented sound, "Oh, yeah, that's the stuff." She smiled softly, "Don't sell yourself short kid. She's known suffering just the way you have and she has so much more suffering to go through...she's going to need you more than ever. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised by the out come too." Hancock smirked, letting out an unamused laugh, "That sight showed you that huh?" The woman chuckled, "No, I'm just a perceptive old bat. I pay attention. But yes, it showed me some of it. The road is difficult, the one she's on. But it is one that will benefit all of the Commonwealth."

"You people are kind of putting a lot on her shoulders don't you think?" He narrowed his eyes, glaring at the cracked pavement in annoyance, thinking about what Codsworth had told him. "Your referring to Preston appointing her to General, yes?" The ghoul didn't reply, but the old woman knew well enough, "Fate can be a very cruel thing, it picks and chooses its favorites and tortures so many. Some people will only ever know sorrow. But some, some will suffer years and then awake to find true happiness at the end of the long road they traveled." John hummed softly, he couldn't really argue the logic there, it was pretty true. Pulling out another Jet, he hit it himself, sighing softly out a cloud of vapors. They sat there in the shade of an old carport for hours, a few people coming by to check on the woman, one of them glared at him when she discovered her had given her chems. He, of course, ignored it. "Mama Murphy you need to stop taking that crap! It's going to kill you." Preston said at one point, after he was informed of what happened. "And you, don't encourage her!" The minuteman said, jutting an accusing finger at the ghoul who only smirked. "Oh, stop it Preston! I'm old! And besides we're all going to die one day, at least let me enjoy it!" She berated the dark colored man, waving him off, "Ignore them, there all prudes here, Luella's the only one with any sense of fun."

Hancock frowned at the name, confused, "Who?" The old woman smirked, glancing down the street, "Here she comes now." Black eyes followed her gaze, seeing first a large dog, the same from the day before that had helped him with the Deathclaw. He assumed this must be Dogmeat, what a weird name to give the poor mutt. It was carrying something in its mouth and when it saw him ran over, dropping it in his lap and wagging his tail. It was his hat! Dusting it off, he put it on, ruffling the dogs fur with a grin. "Thanks mutt, I owe ya one." His confusion from earlier was forgotten.

"Hmhm, Dogmeat's got a good nose, don't think we could have found that without it." John looked up to see Lydia, smiling warmly, face smudged in some dirt and what was unmistakably blood. The raven turned to the old woman, glancing around to make sure no one was looking, before handing her some Mentats. "Here, but you didn't get those from me, okay? I've already gotten jumped twice since I got here and if one more person complains at me I'm bound to punch them." Mama Murphy chuckled softly, tucking the chems in her chair out of sight, "No problem, tell ya what, you come back later and I think I might be able to help you with something." Lydia nodded, turning to John with that addicting smile, "Hungry? Codsworth made a really good stew, you should try it." The mayor nodded, getting to his feet and walking beside her to the house she occupied, "So, what did ya get jumped about sister?"

The raven frowned a little, shaking her head, "Apparently for not coming back sooner. Turns out the station down the road was a check point, but got hit with some nasty mole rats. I guess it was part of my job description to clean up messes like that." She replied irritably, this explained the blood on her face at least. John hummed, understanding now what Codsworth was getting at when he thought they were asking way to much of her, not that he doubted it. He smirked after a moment, deciding to change the subject, "So...the robot said you stayed up all night fixing my clothes." He started, glancing at her face, seeing the tell tale blush on her cheeks. "Oh, y-yeah...?" The smirk widened, cautiously taking her hand and squeezing it lightly, "Thanks. I really appreciate it." The raven ducked her head a little, long hair hiding most her face, but for the shy smile on her lips. "No problem. Oh, I...I also got this."

He didn't even notice the new bag she was carrying till then, watching her reach in and pull something out, passing it to him. It was another flag, newer than the previous one, in good shape. He blinked at in, his heart doing that little stammer again, face feeling warm. "You...you found my hat...and even got me another flag." John's voice was soft, shocked that she had cared so much, done so much for him. Like she hadn't already. "You really are just the best." He told her, loving the way that red on her cheeks darkened.

 


	9. Sanctified

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My apologies for this update coming so late. Alot's been going on at home that's prevented me focusing on my computer for more than a minute or two, hopefully it won't happen again. ^^ Thank's to everyone whose left Kudos and just generally for reading my story, it makes me so very happy to know people enjoy it. <3

The next few days proved calming, calmer than John ever could remember his life being, in fact he almost wished it could stay like that. But he knew, by watching, that his little raven was not nearly as relaxed. Far, far from it. She avoided Preston when he came around, which was hard, because the man seemed to literally be following her like a fucking hawk. Which grated on Hancock's last nerve like nails on a chalkboard.

He glared pointedly at the man as he came up the road, having taken the initiative to be a pseudo bodyguard to his raven friend by keeping watch while she attempted to talk to Mama Murphy for like the tenth time that same morning. "What did you want again Mama Murphy? I know you've tried to tell me all day..." Lydia asked tiredly, she hadn't been sleeping much either, but she kept that well hidden for the most part. Hancock suspected it, but if he was certain about anything he didn't bring it up.

"I think I can help you get your memories back, but its not going to be easy kid. Those things you forgot...there painful. And you need to be ready to take them all in, to put yourself back together and find reasons to keep moving forward." The old woman told her, smiling calmly as she watched the raven sitting on the ground beside her. Lydia was not sure of anything. She knew, somehow, that the memories were bad. That she had forgot because she hadn't been able to take it anymore. Hazy eyes stared at the ground, nibbling her lower lip softly, "I...I need to remember...so I can find my son. Its important." The words lacked conviction and it wasn't that she didn't care, she didn't know how to feel anymore. It was like waking on the river all over again.

"Wrap it up, your buddy is coming around and I think he's got a job." Hancock said, glancing over his shoulder, seeing the raven mumbled a curse and dart out of sight. Preston approached, looked around, then glared at him suspiciously. "Say, I was wondering if we could get a drink by the river later? Have a little man to man talk you know?" The dark skinned man said, smiling in a pleasant way that seemed a bit to forced in John's opinion, like a snake trying to look friendly to lure in pray or maybe a raider was more to the point. The ghoul smiled back, almost as forced with narrowed black eyes, "Sure thing, pal. See you at sunset."

Mama Murphy made a noise, watching the exchange, "You should be wary. Preston may seem like he means well, but he has a darkness to him." She said after her and Hancock were alone, watching the ghoul light a smoke and take a long drag. "Yeah, I've started picking up on that. Codsworth's gave me the impression its partly Garvey's fault Lydia had her little mental break down. So believe me I've got my eye on him."

"Good. Mind if I bum a smoke?" The mayor laughed at he request, gladly giving the old woman one. He had grown pretty fond of her, was tempted to take her back to Goodneighbor one day, let her live out her days as she actually wanted. "So how are you planning on helping her?" He asked curiously, sitting beside the old woman, staring at the cracked pavement. He noticed his little raven sneaking back into her house, drawing the curtains. At some point he was going to try and figure out why exactly she was avoiding Preston so much, it surely had more to it than the forced title he gave her or all the work he shoved off on her in favor of hanging back like a Cuckoo bird and letting someone else do his job.

"We're going to get high and I'm going to use my powers to unlock the chains she wrapped so tightly on her own mind."

The ghoul scoffed, that was pretty damn farfetched, even for her and he actually believed she could see the future. But maybe she could do it, somehow. At this point it was the only hope they had. Besides, it wasn't like he could help her. And with Nicky having gone to answer a message from his assistant, it left only so many options. It was clear at this point it was going to take some force to get her to remember. But again he felt like it wasn't so great an idea.

"I'm going to need your help with this."

"Oh yeah? How's that?" Black eyes lifted to look at the older woman, watching that easy, laid back way she gazed across the street. "First of all, I need something stronger than Jet. And second..." He waited for her to finish, her eyes meeting his, completely serious as she spoke next. "You need to give her a solid reason."

* * *

 

Hancock sat on the stone wall down by the river, one leg pulled up as he lounged there, watching the sun in the distance slowly setting. He couldn't deny, after spending a few days out here, he was starting to get used to the giant light bulb. At least his eyes weren't stinging as much and he hadn't had a nasty headache in awhile, plus he didn't feel as tired. The ghoul was actually getting decent sleep here. Sanctuary was like a little retreat to him, though it didn't entirely alleviate his worries for the future or his little birds condition, which seemed to gradually be getting worse.

The more days that passed the more on edge and tired she seemed, like she was reverting back to the shy, helpless creature he had met on that first day in his town. After everything she had accomplished, all the confidence she had gained, it was a damn shame to see her lose it all. But everything just kept beating her down, between getting kidnapped, her episode in Diamond City, and now her clear unease in the place she was supposed to call home, it wasn't hard for him to understand. John only wished he knew what to do that would help her, he felt very much useless.

He had already made the decision that if Mama Murphy's plan failed, he was taking Lydia back to Goodneighbor for good, she thrived there. It may not have been the safest place in the Commonwealth, but she was better off there with him than out here with that fucking Cuckoo Bird of a Minuteman.

The sound of glass clicking on stone made him turn his black eyes, seeing a beer sitting there, he looked back a little farther to see Garvey. The dark man looked grim as he sipped his own warm drink, staring at the sun himself as he waited for Hancock to take the first sip of his beer. The mayor almost spit the crap out, it was worse than the shit Charlie served at the Third Rail, at least he had whiskey to make up for it! "Jesus, how do you drink this shit? Tastes like hot piss!"

Preston actually smirked at that, "Its what we have. The caravan's rarely bring anything better." Hancock shook his head, downing another drink, shuddering at the foul, hot piss taste. But it was better than nothing and he was running low on his chems, getting damn close to asking Lydia if he could nick some of hers. So any high was better than no high.

"I want you to leave before first light."

The mayor paused, drink half-way to his mouth, slowly lowering it at the words. He pushed down the anger at first, turning his eyes on Garvey again, silver smoldering just barely veiled under the surface. "Excuse me?" His question held a biting tone, dark eyes so much blacker than normal.

"Your a bad influence on the General. Its quiet clear her problems stem from being around a ghoul. Its the only thing that makes sense. Besides the settlers are getting nervous having something like you walking around, they think you might go feral." Garvey explained in a cold, straightforward tone, not looking at the good mayor of Goodneighbor.

A low sound bubbled in John's chest, his black eyes glowing a little in the darkness, "And here I thought the people here were real good neighbor's, guess I was wrong." He said coolly, but the anger was dripping from the eloquent words, " Let me make one thing very clear." Setting the beer down harshly on the stone wall to punctuate his words, "You can kiss my fucking ass Garvey, I'm not leaving Lydia here with you if its the last damn thing I do. And you can be assured we won't be here much longer, as soon as Nick comes back we're out of this shit hole." Standing he marched off, fuming pissed, but an idea struck him and he stopped again. Turning back to the dark man, he smirked, "Oh, and I'll be sure to tell every settlement and settler I find to avoid the Minutemen, cause clearly you guys haven't changed one fucking bit. Too bad too, cause your General is actually a decent person, for once." With that he walked off, hearing breaking glass as a stunned Garvey dropped his beer bottle.

The mayor walked up the road slowly, hands shoved deep in his pockets, stopping to sit with Mama Murphy a bit, feeling a little high from the chance to give that bastard a piece of his mind. Still, his words rang true, on one thing at least. The settlers did seem nervous about his presence. They had since he arrived, though he ignored it as much as was possible, people being prejudice against ghouls wasn't new. Even some of the drifters that came through Goodneighbor were like that, more than once someone had run out screaming after meeting poor Daisy. That woman took it like a champ though, but then she had been around since before the war, had years of practice longer than him.

"So you told him off?" Mama asked, huffing some of the Jet he had given her that she was hoarding in her chair like a squirrel storing nuts for winter. Somehow he wasn't as pleased with the incident as he had been earlier, "Yeah, asshole wants me gone by morning."

"Your not going to listen though." It was not a question, she knew he wasn't leaving, the crazy old crone really did pay more attention than anyone he knew. "Not without Lydia I'm not." He replied, lighting a cigarette, the glow illuminating his face as he leaned his arm on a raised knee. "Good, but it looks like I may need to rush the plan. Things are going to get hairy otherwise, kid."

"I figured. I got what you wanted anyway, been saving it awhile. Lets do this tomorrow. Alright?" John got to his feet, glancing at the older woman, who nodded. Walking up the road, toward his raven's little abode, he could hear a ruckus going on in the form of an upset Codsworth as the bot came flying out the front door. The Mr. Handy came rushing down the street toward him, arms raised in a fuss as he skidded to a stop in front of the ghoul. "Oh, Mr. Mayor you must come quickly! Mr. Garvey has lost his mind, sir!"

He tossed the cigarette without a word, following the bot up to the house with quick feet, the front door swinging on its hinges loosely as they arrived. Stopping in the doorway he saw Preston was having a screaming match with Lydia, who was firmly refusing to listen to his ridiculous pleas. No doubt wanting her to make a certain ghoul take a hike.

"You need to tell that freak to leave, General! We need you to come back to us, there are a lot of people who need your help!" Yup, just as he thought.

"I-I don't care. And I'm tired Preston, can't you see that? Why the hell can't you do it? You've managed fine the past year without me!" It was rare for her to raise her voice like that, Hancock couldn't ever remember it being so loud, she always spoke so quiet. Like she was afraid of rousing attention on herself. "And John is my friend! He's not a freak. No more than I am or anyone else in this hell hole!" Preston glared at her, grabbing her wrist when she started to leave down the hall, pulling her back roughly. John took a step forward into the house, anger flaring to life at last and opening his mouth to stop this mess, but he was too late to stop what happened next.

It was like a blur. The raven jerked, swinging her free hand out and smacking the dark skinned man across the face with a loud slap. Garvey reacted nearly as fast, except he actually punched her, hard enough to knock her down, with a right hook to the jaw. Lydia's hazy eyes were wide in shock, lifting a shaking hand to her lip, pulling it away to see it stained red. "Oh, I'm feral now!" Hancock lunged, tackling Preston to the floor, knocking over and breaking the rickety kitchen table in the process. Codsworth made an appalled sound, but didn't try to stop them, instead he rushed to the raven's side.

"Oh, Mum are you alright?" He asked, lending her an arm to get up, watching worriedly or as worried as robot could appear, as she leaned shakily against the wall with her hand on her bruised jaw and busted lip. In the kitchen Hancock was beating the literal snot out of Preston, the sounds of the fight damn loud and she worried it might attracted attention from the settlers in the small haven.

"Don't you ever touch her again or I swear I'll fucking tear you apart and feed you to the deathclaws!" The mayor shouted, punching the man again, getting to his feet. He started to go in for a second round as the other man got to his feet, but a pair of trembling arms around his middle made him draw up short. Black eyes widened, looking down at the thin arms, lifting a hand to lay on one. "Please John...no more..."

The ghoul sighed, shooting a hard look at Preston, "Get out. And if your smart, you won't show that mug in front of me again." The dark skinned man only glared, wiping the blood from his face, he stormed out and slammed the door behind him. The sound made the small raven flinch against Hancock's back, her arms tightening around him a moment, before she let go hesitantly to step back. He turned around, watching her with quiet contemplation as she stared at her feet, that dark hair hiding her eyes. But nothing could hide the pain or the fear he saw in the slight tremble of her shoulders right then, it was a nasty sight.

"You alright sister?" Hancock lifted a hand, brushing her hair from her face, pushing it behind her ear with a light touch, getting a better look at her cheek. Not wanting to scare her more with sudden movements, he carefully brushed some of the blood of her chin with a gently thumb. The raven shook her head, "I don't want to be here anymore. I don't care if I never remember it all. I know enough...I-I can still look for Kellog and Shaun, it doesn't matter if I remember all of it. Right?" The words were tiny and broken, thin arms lifting the hug her frame like she was holding herself together.

He wanted desperately to say yes, take her away from there, but he knew it wasn't right. No matter how much he wanted to be selfish right then, he just couldn't, "It is important though. Ya can't tell me you won't regret it later." Her shoulders slumped slightly, he had a valid point, she probably would end up regretting it. Especially is she found Shaun, someday he would ask after his father and she had no clue how to answer that.

"But I...I don't want to change...I want to be who I am now, not who I was then." Her breath caught on a small sob and he guided her to sit on the battered red couch, sitting beside her. "Your not going to change. Because you'll still be the same person you are now...just with a little extra." John tried to reassure her, hesitantly taking her hand, afraid she may jerk it away. But she didn't, she held on, tightly. Like he was her only life line, her anchor. "How do you know that? How can you be sure...? Look what happened...at Nick's...for gods sakes I blacked out."

Hancock smiled a little, lifting her chin with his finger so she would meet his eyes, "Because your the same Lydia who wandered into my town. The same one who became the Silver Shroud and took out an entire gang of raiders and saved Kent. The same girl who took on an army of super mutants and even beat the Swan, single handedly no less at the risk of her own life! Just because you get your old memories back, doesn't change anything that you've done the past seven months."

The raven smiled weakly at this, lifting hand to wipe the tears away, "Y-Your right. And you'll still be here...right?"

John looked away a moment, choosing his words carefully, "Being out here with you...spending the last months getting to know you. Its made me realize, that I've been running away from all the good things in my life. My friends, my family, hell I came out here with you just to get away from Goodneighbor." He began, shaking his head a little, "Running is exactly what made me into...into a damn ghoul. But I...I don't want to run anymore. And maybe all this running, from my family, my life in Diamond City...Goodneighbor...Maybe it wasn't such a bad thing." He smiled a little, looking into her eyes, "After all, it lead me to you. You...Your the thing I've always been missing I think. And I'm damn lucky to have you as a friend."

Lydia bit her lip softly, tasting the copper from the cut there, "And that's all you want to be then? Just friends?" The question was nervous and hesitant, hazy blue eyes looking up into dark black, a mixture of hope and worry in there depths. John blinked, surprised a little at the questions, it was the second time she brought it up. Was it possible that she really felt like that toward him? As something so much more than friends? Despite what he was...? 

Luella could make out the softest tinge of red to his cheeks beneath all the scared and withered skin of his cheeks.  "Heh, am I that obvious?" He smiled a little, but it was wavering, uncertain. "But...I mean you don't really want to wake up to this ugly mug everyday, do you? I wouldn't wish that on anyone I cared about..."

The raven smiled sweetly, that beautiful smile he'd never get enough of, reaching up to lay a soft hand to his cheek. Not even a tiny hint of disgust or fear, only an emotion he didn't quiet know but all the same felt familiar and welcoming. Like fire and wind whirled together with the gentle pattering of spring rain and roses drifting in the breeze. "Haven't you ever heard the saying 'Love's in the eye of the beholder?'"

Hancock shook his head, frowning a little, he actually hadn't ever heard that. "It means that to me, your the most handsome and perfect man I've ever met. And nothing is going to change that." She explained, leaning up to place a feather light kiss to his rough cheek, smiling softly the whole while. John smiled a little in return, "Heh, moments like this I know all that karma stuff is bull. No one like me should be this lucky." His smile turned devilish, "But this works out in my favor doesn't it. Hey, Codsworth, why don't you take the night off?"

"But sir, I still need to make dinner and-"

"I got it covered pal." The mayor smirked at the robot, giving him a meaningful look that apparently the thing understood, muttering a 'Very Well' and going out the front door. Grinning he turned on Lydia, who looked a little surprised, curiously watching the robot leave before looking at the ghoul in front of her. "What's on your mind love?" She asked with a soft blush tinting her cheeks, the little nickname making a soft shiver run down his back. Oh, but that was so much stronger a high than any chem he could remember. "Remember those...impure thoughts?"

She looked confused a moment, before blushing deeply in realization, the color looking so lovely on her pale skin. Taking her face between his hands, he leaned in, pressing his lips to her full pouty ones. The softest gasp left her, momentarily surprised by the action, but she melted into it easily. Like ice thrown into the fire. She tasted of something sweet mixed with the coppery blood that clung to the cut Preston had left, her intoxicating scent filling his head like Jet fumes. Gently, he pushed her back, laying her out on the couch, one of his knees between both of hers. Supporting himself with one foot on the floor, holding onto the back of the couch, his other hand buried into inky black hair.

He smiled against her lips, slipping to kiss her neck lightly, taking his hat off when he did and tossing it on the back of the couch. He chuckled at the little gasp that left her, feeling her shift a little under him. Nibbling the tender skin at the crook of her shoulder, Hancock slid his other hand down her side, finding the hem of her shirt. No sooner did he start to slip his fingers under the fabric did she stiffen like a board under him, making him stop immediately, lifting his head to look down into her eyes and seeing the momentary fear before it passed and she relaxed again.

"Want me to stop?" He asked quietly, not moving an inch, not wanting to frighten her more. But to his surprise she shook her head, smiling softly up at him with that lovely red across her cheeks, "No, I...I just needed to remind myself where I was, that's all." The words made him draw up short, leaning back a bit, unable to help his own curiosity, "Where did you think you were...?" No sooner did the words leave his lips than he regretted them, slapping himself mentally, he knew full well where her mind had wandered to. That had only been a week or two back, maybe less, it was no wonder this would trigger something nasty.

The raven looked away from him, distractedly playing with the edge of his red coat, "Can...can we talk about it later...please? I-I want to enjoy this..." He hesitated a moment more, but nodded, for now he would go on. But if he even thought for a second she was going to panic he was stopping completely for awhile.

Either way he took it slower now, leaning in and kissing her again, deepening it this time. Just enjoying the taste of her lips, her mouth as she parted it for him, the sweet little sounds that left her. Taking it all in, commenting it all to memory. He was going to ride this high for awhile, of that he had no doubts. Carefully, cautiously, he pushed her shirt up. Taking his time, loving the feeling of her skin under his hands, warm and achingly soft.

Lydia shivered a little, gasping softly when his hand moved up higher and brushed over her ribs lightly and then higher still, enough to play with one of her breasts, her hazy eyes watching him as he sat up a little to look at her before nipping at her neck once more. She began moving on her own, letting the moment take over, forgetting for now everything but him. The raven's hands found their way beneath his coat and vest, helping him to slip out of the heavy fabrics, before sliding her fingers down to unbutton his shirt. There really weren't a lot of buttons actually done up, since he kept most them undone, the upper part of his chest always mostly exposed.

John slipped a hand down her other side, running it over her thigh, feeling her muscles tense a little beneath the leather pants she was wearing. Which served to remind him what he had been avoiding thinking about for months: That she looked damned hot in those road leathers. The excitement was building in his veins like a fire eating at a forest, erasing the worry and fear, leaving only this beautiful raven, himself and this moment.

And then someone just had to dump a bucket of ice on them, figuratively in the form of a pounding at the door and Codsworth fussing at whomever to bugger off. Hancock jerked back in surprise at the noise, Lydia letting out a frustrated sigh beneath him, lifting her blue eyes to glare above her in the direction of the door. They separated reluctantly, the raven heading for the door with the ghoul close behind, ready to defend her if the need arose again. He didn't even pause to pull his shirt on, let alone his hat, both forgotten.

Outside was nearly half the community, all carrying weapons and looking pissed as hell, in fact looked like a stereo typical seen from a monster movie. Another raven stepped forward, the one named Marcy Long, John recalled from Mama telling him everyone's names. "Preston said that ghoul attacked him! He's a menace and we want him out, now!" The woman said angrily, aiming her gun at the Mayor of Goodneighbor. But she faltered when their precious General stepped in the path of the rifles muzzle, hands on her hips in a hotly manner and looking madder than she ever had. John let out a soft, irritated sigh, he should have expected this. "I'll leave, there's no sense in starting a war over it." He mumbled softly to Lydia, but she took his arm to stop him, to his surprise. Black eyes stared in wide eyed wonder as she turned to the crowd, looking every bit deserving of the title of General.

"And did Preston tell you why Hancock attacked him? About how he barged into my house and attacked me? And that Hancock was only coming to my defense?"

The crowd went a little quiet, Marcy backing off with surprise, looking to the dark skinned man near by in question. Lydia continued, determined, "I thought the Minutemen stood for the people? Coming to their defense at a moments notice. Not coming to attack them when its convenient or because they don't like the look of them, that just sounds like a glorified raider!" Preston flinched at that, the crowd starting to turn their anger in his direction, "And on top of that I was under the impression that the Minutemen were...Of the people, for the people. That means  **all** people. If you can't accept everyone for who they are, than you should go to Diamond City with the rest of the racist assholes. The Minutemen help those that need it and punish those who deserve it!"

The crowd cheered in agreement, Marcy stepping up with what could be considered an apologetic look, though it still came off stern and angry. "Our apologies General, please have a nice evening. We'll deal with the issue." The ravens nodded to each other and the crowd dissipated, leaving the ghoul and his new beloved on the front steps of her little home. Lydia smiled a little as she watched them closing in on Preston, before looking to see that John was staring at her with an odd sort of smirk on his lips as he leaned against the open doorway, "What?" She blushed deeply, shuffling a little under his stare.

"Don't mind me, just...admiring the view." He practically purred the words out, watching in carnal glee at the way she squirmed and scurried into the house, "Hush you." She mumbled as she passed him, relaxing a little once they were inside, away from the mess out there.

Lydia realized on then exactly how exhausted she was, muttering a little curse and leaning against the couch, trying to stay upright. "Woah there darlin', your not looking to good, feeling okay?" John came up beside her, worry crossing his features as he reached out to steady her. The raven shook her head lightly, mumbling something he didn't quiet catch, "What was that...?"

She made a face, "I-I've not been sleeping, not since we got here...and that took everything out of me..." She replied louder, shaky fingers raking through her hair as she stared at the ground. John frowned deeply, "What? Why? The hell have you been running on then? Shit, you've been working none stop helping people around here!"

The raven nibbled her lip nervously, "Adrenaline mostly...and maybe some chems I found stashed in the closet..." She ducked her head, waiting for him to be mad about it, but he ended up laughing. Loudly. Almost falling over in his amusement over it, it took him a bit to recover, "Jesus, I really am a bad influence on you!"

Lydia frowned a bit at the comment, having started laughing a little herself, the sound was so infectious. "What are you talking about?" Hancock wiped a tear from his eye, leaning on the couch and shaking his head at her, "Garvey. He wanted me to leave before morning cause he thinks I'm a bad influence on you." The raven laughed at this herself, seeing now why it was so funny, "I have to disagree."

John raised an eye to that, hoisting himself up to sit on the back of the couch, getting comfortable. "Oh, yeah. Why's that?" Her expression was bemused as she gazed vacantly across the room, "Because, its your influence that's kept me going. I was ready to just quiet when we met."

Hancock's heart thudded softly in his chest, stomach doing that tell tale twist it did whenever she said something that just sort of hit home. He felt...happy. Knowing he had actually helped her someway. Silence fell over them, comfortable and calm. The raven yawned softly into her hand, head drooping a little. The mayor decided to take the step and help her to her room, "Come on, your getting some sleep. Long day tomorrow."

"Mmm...but I don't want to..." She muttered tiredly, not really able to put up a fight as he helped her get her shoes off and covered her up with a blanket. Hell she couldn't even keep her eyes open. "Don't care. You need rest." He said firmly, straightening up to leave, but something tugged on his pant leg. Turning, he saw it was Lydia, blurry blue eyes looking up at him pleadingly. "Don't...leave...please?"

Damn but that yanked hard on the heart strings didn't it? A sigh left him, the ghost of a smile on his lips as he sat on down on the edge of the bed beside her, "I'm not going anywhere, Sunshine." He replied softly, content to wait till she fell asleep, he watched a smile curl her lips. A tiny laugh leaving her, "That's the second time you've called me that..."

"What can I say...your the first ray of light I've seen in this blackened hell."

* * *

 

It was pretty late, long after Lydia had gone to sleep, that Hancock found himself on the couch. Staring up at the ceiling, deep in a drug induced haze. He needed to relax, get his head somewhere else for a bit. Because the worries were eating away at him, he may have acted brave earlier, rashly when he attacked Preston. But he had been horrified with himself afterward. This was not Goodneighbor. These people were not his own and he had nearly risked a lot more than making a few people mad. If Lydia hadn't stepped in he might have been not only run out, but gunned down.

And this brought on other worries, like when they had confessed to each other right there on that very couch. Would she end up regretting this? Regretting him? She had no idea the kind of ridicule she was facing being his friend, let alone more than that! Would she be able to handle that sort of thing and still want to look at him afterward?

Hancock groaned irritably, he had gotten high to forget that shit for now. Tomorrow they were going to meet Mama Murphy so the old woman could possibly help Lydia, no...Luella regain her memories. He needed to be able to think straight when it happened, be ready for anything. But to be honest there was no preparing for it. You could try to prepare, pretend you knew what to do if it went south. But he didn't.

The worst of it was worrying about the attacks. Would she react like she had at Nick's? Would it be worse or better? He sighed, scrubbing his face with his hands, considering taking a hot shower to maybe aid on easing his mind when he heard a soft sound elsewhere in the house. Sitting up, he looked around. Nothing seemed out of place, Codsworth was circling the house like a faithful guard dog outside. The actual dog was asleep near the fire barrel that served to heat the room and the egg he had forgotten was in Lydia's old bag.

He heard the sound again, slipping off the couch, leaving his coat laying there. Following the noise, easily able to see in the near blackness of the house, he realized the sound was coming from the raven's room. Cautiously, he pushed open the cracked door, seeing her curled in a small little ball around her pillow like it was some sort of life line. Her face was buried in the pillow and as he came closer he could see why, she was sobbing harshly, trying to muffle the noises. His heart clenched tightly in his chest, feeling suddenly guilty for some reason.

It took him a moment to realize, still in the Jet haze, that he had told her he wasn't leaving. She must have woken up and...He cursed himself, sitting down slowly on the bed and reaching out to lay a hand on her arm, feeling her tense up beneath his fingers. "John...?" The single word was chocked and sounded strained as she lifted her blue eyes to gaze at him in the dark.

Her eyes were swollen from the crying, rimmed in deep red, but the blue held that soft radioactive glow that told of her ghoulish nature. He wondering idly what her little followers here would think if they knew what she really was now. But then again, after her speech today maybe they didn't care. Preston would likely be upset of course. Thinking of that he was almost tempted to tell the little asshole, just to see him freak out. Shaking the random thoughts away, he forced his attention back to her, smiling reassuringly in the darkness. "Hey Sunshine...what's wrong?"

She sniffed softly, looking away, he felt a shudder run through her under his hand. "I just...I had a bad dream and...and I thought...I thought you weren't really here." The words held a chilling sort of empty coldness, like she was shutting herself down. He could see the signs, she was trying not to sound weak. "I'm not going to leave you. I just...needed a minute to think is all. I was just in the other room."

It was quiet for a long time and John was starting to think she might really be upset with him, he fought to find something to say, something to solidly reassure her he wasn't going anywhere this time. But the only thing that came to mind and tumbled out of his mouth rather awkwardly was, "You want me to sleep in here?"

The raven blinked a few times, lifting her head and sitting up to look at him properly, "You...would you do that?" She asked, like she really thought he would say no after what happened between them, well nearly happened. A smirk tugged at his lips, "Sunshine, I'm all yours. I'd do almost anything if you asked me." Lydia wiped some of the wetness from her face, letting out a small laugh, nodding to him. Scooting over, she gave the silent request that she did indeed want him to join her.

And he did, gladly, laying out on his side next to her. Reaching out and wrapping his arms around her, pulling her close to him, the raven let out a contented noise as she snuggled into his chest like a little bird in its nest. It was funny, laying there like that, with her warmth so close to him. He was so much calmer now than he had been in the next room, high or not. Before long even Hancock drifted off to sleep, not even a single bad dream woke either of them.

* * *

 

It was just after dawn when a soft growling woke John first, who hummed softly, burying his face into something soft. The gentle fragrance of something slightly floral, earthy, mixed into gun oil filled his nose. It was a familiar and relaxing smell, it brought the smallest smile to his thin lips as he sighed in contentment. Starting to drift back to sleep like that, but the growling turned into barking, which startled not only him, but the petite raven in his hold. They both mumbled curses, blinked in surprise and then laughed a bit. "Dogmeat sounds upset about something..." Lydia commented, sitting up first or at least trying to, but Hancock wasn't having it. He tightened his grasp, pulling her back down, "To hell with him, he can handle himself, no one else is having a fit about it."

"Mum...? You should come see this!" Called out Codsworth from the living room he guessed, not really paying that as much mind as the way Lydia stiffened considerably at the words, going deathly pale. Like she had seen something truly horrifying or more accurately remembered something truly horrifying. "You alright, Sunshine?" The ghoul asked in a gentle voice, seeming to pull her from whatever hell she had dropped into, blinking her blue eyes and sucking in a breath.

She had felt as if she had been drowning for a moment, the pain pounded in her skull and the air left her, body feeling frozen in ice. And then it was over, John's voice pulling her from the abyss and washing away the strange feeling. Blinking, she stared into his black eyes, trying to remember whatever it was that had triggered the minor panic attack. Shaking her head, she smiled a bit, pushing it aside. The raven leaned up, placed a soft kiss to his rough cheek, before slipping from his hold and going to see what was going on in her living room this time. John lay there a long while, sitting up and lifting a hand to the place she had just giving such affection to, smiling a little to himself. His heart raced like a hit of Psycho straight to his chest, but a hundred times more addictive.

"Holy shit! Dogmeat, no, down boy!" The mayor's smile dropped instantly, jumping out of bed and rushing to the front of the house, drawn by Lydia's shouting. What he found was...well he wasn't sure what to think of it. The raven was wrestling the large dog away from something hiding in the corner between a wall and the fire barrel, which hissed and swiped when the dog came near. "Codsworth! Take Dogmeat outside, now!" She demanded, letting the Mr. Handy take the dog by the bandana that served as his collar, the mutt whimper the whole way out. Lydia put her hands on her hips, frowning at the door as it shut, before her blue eyes lifted to see Hancock standing in the hallway. "Guess what finally hatched!" She announced with a grin, before turning to approach the small, dark creature half hidden in the shadows. The ghoul behind her gasped, moving to stop her, but was too late. The raven was already reaching out, palm to the little monster, her back hiding much of what was happening. He held his breath...listening to her softly whisper reassurances at it. And then she was standing up, cradling something in her arms, turning to show him with a triumphant smile on her lips. "Heh~ I didn't think they came with any fur."

Sure enough, the little beast was an odd shade of red-green, clearly the glowing variety, with a tuft of red fur between its horns and bright as hell green eyes. "Yeah...me either. You ah...you sure its safe?" John asked hesitantly, watching the little monster looking around with curious eyes, reaching large clawed talons for the raven's long hair that was hanging over her shoulder. It was almost cute, the way it played with the lengths of her hair like a cat might, letting out a little cry. He fought every instinct in himself to shoot that thing, glancing between it and Lydia. His heart almost melted at the way her eyes seemed so soft, loving as she looked down at the thing like it was a child. John couldn't help thinking she must be, was, IS a wonderful mother.

"Yeah, he was just scared, weren't you Fluffy!?" She giggled a little, stroking the baby deathclaw's belly, it let out another soft noise that could pass for joy. He made a face at the name, imagining when it was full grown and her calling out for its aid in a fight or something and the raiders dying of laughter before it got close enough. "Damn, you really just got a way with all creatures don't you?" Hancock smarted off, relaxing a little as he realized the thing was not an immediate danger. She smiled that smile he loved, laughing softly. "Looks like it."


	10. Remembering the Scars best left Forgotten

They ended up taking a rain check with Mama Murphy that evening, deciding to test the old woman's plan a little later, giving Lydia the time to work with Fluffy. Dogmeat was not too happy with the new house guest and neither was anyone else for that matter. The moment the raven stepped outside with the small beast, literally no bigger than a house cat, everyone panicked. It took more than a little coaxing to convince the settlers of Sanctuary that the deathclaw was not going to hurt them and that its mother was in fact dead. John had seriously thought for a moment that Lydia wasn't going to be able to talk her way out of it like she had with him and Nick, who, funny enough, returned that evening. Just in time in John's opinion, at least now he had back up if shit went south. The next few days were, at the very least, hectic and rocky. Fluffy seemed perfectly fine with Lydia, hell it seemed to think of her as its mother, never made a move to hurt her. HER. But everyone else? Fucking depended.

Preston had approached the house on his rounds at one point, still nursing some nasty bruises from his fight with Hancock and made the mistake of stopping by the fence to try and talk to the raven woman. Wrong move. The general had stiffened up, gotten defensive and no sooner did she do so than Fluffy seemed to pick up on the subtle signs of discomfort. Thinking his master was being threatened no doubt. And lunged at the minuteman claws and teeth bared, ready to rip him limb for limb. Lucky for Preston, Fluffy was still small, so the damage had been some minor cuts and a lot of humiliating laughter from everyone around.

Fluffy seemed to like John well enough, though it took some warming up to the hesitant ghoul. The deathclaw was iffy with Nick and Codsworth, seemed to have an innate fear of machines. Dogmeat? Well they tolerated each other. And damn the thing sure loved Mama Murphey. Cuddled up to the old woman's legs and nearly purred like a kitten.

Over the week the little deathclaw grew pretty quickly, considering his diet was entirely vegetarian, something Lydia seemed adamant about for the time being. Something about him not getting a taste for blood. By the end of the week he was nearly as big as the raven when he stretched all the way up on his hind legs, but so far his demeanor was almost sweet, much like Dogmeat, pretty good at obeying orders. Hell he kept Preston at a distance, so Hancock decided he must not be so bad. The bonus was it seemed to ease some of the raven's wariness.

John had taken to sleeping in Lydia's room with her, at first, given Nick being in the house, on the floor. But the raven hadn't liked it and after two days had insisted the ghoul just sleep in her bed with her, only to sleep, nothing else. That's all they did. And damned if that wasn't frustrating. The mayor was ready to jump off the walls mentally, every day proving more difficult to resist her, resist those fucking impure thoughts. More than once he had taken a cold as hell shower that week, twice he had jumped into the damn ice cold river just to clear his head.

And the raven didn't seem effected at all, well that wasn't entirely true, she was effected, but just better at resisting apparently. Which made it twice as frustrating to him. He couldn't understand it, hell he found himself teasing her, flirting with her, just to see if he could get any kind of a rise out of her. Blushing, fidgeting, but she always ran off afterward like a nervous rabbit. And man this fox was wanting to pin her. The only thing holding him back, really? He figured she needed the time to adjust, to, well everything. Them, himself. The possible screwed up future they faced.

And finally they could avoid that future no longer, Mama came to the house, deciding they had stalled long enough. Nick agreed to watch Fluffy, whilst the three of them chose to take their little experiment down to the old gas station that served as an out post for Sanctuary. Not wanting to rouse the residents of the small hamlet should a certain raven General have a negative reaction to her own mind or better yet the chems. Because John was having a hard time believe Mama Murphey could really pull something so outrages off.

And so there they were, locked in the old garage, safely tucked out of any harms path. Mama Murphy seated in a comfy looking chair that Hancock had been nice enough to bring along. Lydia sitting across from her on an over turned crate, looking nervous and ready to bolt at any moment, cradling a beer she had been nursing. It had taken a lot to coax her out of the house, between her ghoul friend and Mama, plus a lot of drinks and chems, then Nick's insistence. She was already pretty hammered, well should have been, but Hancock had the distinct feeling the adrenaline was fucking with the high. Something that had happened to him on a rare occasion or two.The mayor was standing at a chem station, preparing a special little cocktail just for the occasion. "What did you say it is?" Mama Murphey asked, smiling softly, calm as ever. "My only little concoction, I call it Psycho-X. Guarantee its the strongest shit you've ever had Mama. Said you needed something strong right?"

The old woman laughed, nodding, though his back was turned. "That's right. Heh, maybe I should hire you as my dealer." She teased, looking over her shoulder at him as he turned around, two syringes prepped and ready. "Don't think your neighbor's would approve. But, tell ya what. You ever move to Goodneighbor and I'll let ya into my stash once and awhile." He replied, handing one of the cocktails to her, before kneeling on his knee beside Lydia and taking her arm gently. Somehow he didn't trust her to administer it herself, as shaky as she was. Taking a deep breath, he looked to the old woman, watching her take the dose like a champ. Before turning to the raven and smiling reassuringly at her, "Remember, I'm right here. Your safe, okay? Not gonna let anything happen to ya." He waited for her to nod, before injecting the volatile cocktail of junk and leaning back, waiting to see what would happen. He usually only made this stuff when someone was around to watch his back and willing to let him get damned fucked up for awhile, because this shit was strong, real strong. Like blacked out for days strong.

Mama Murphey made an approving sound, letting out a breath and laughing a bit, enjoying it a moment before she reached out and took the raven's hands in hers. The old woman yanked the raven to her, pressing their heads together and staring into her eyes. The scene was...well it was creepy as hell. And then Mama started mumbling, low and fast, John unable to catch anything she said, he was sufficiently freaked out. Minutes passed into hours and nothing seemed to be happening. The ghoul paced a little, smoked, enjoyed a Jet or two, glanced at the clock pretty often. Hell at one point he fell asleep near the door, shotgun in hand for safety.

Two days they were like that, at some point Hancock was certain they had both passed out or at least Lydia had, Mama kept mumbling. But their eyes were shut. And then it was silent, Mama stilled and sat back and the raven just sat there a moment, before crumpling off the crate. It would have looked pretty funny, had Hancock not been so damn worried by this point. The mayor stood, walking over and carefully lifting her up. She leaned heavily against his chest, breathing slow and even, seemed to be sleeping pretty peacefully. But looks could be so very deceiving.

He caught the softest little whispers leaving her, broken words that didn't make much sense to him at first. Names mostly, a few he knew, like Kellog and Nick. Vaguely he remembered the name Shaun from Nick explaining that it was her sons name. But one sort of stuck out, this one she repeated more than the others. Nate. He didn't recognize this one at all, Nick had never mentioned anyone by that name. But his wonderings came to an abrupt end when she began to sob, loudly in his arms, struggling like something was after her and starting to scream.

He held her tightly, whispered to her, tried to calm her or even wake her. But to no avail, he ended up having to let her just tire herself out, which took what seemed like forever. Listening to the anguished sounds that wrecked havoc on Hancock's own body, his mind, hating that familiar helplessness as he held her and fought to keep himself calm in the presence of her obvious pain. By the time she settled back into quiet sleep he was left shaking, gritting his teeth as he softly ran his fingers through her tangled hair, letting her relax there with her head on his leg. Mama Murphey roused from the chem induced stupor, looking like a happy drunk, she coughed a little. "She okay kid?" Her voice startled Hancock, whose shoulders jerked a little, half turning his head, but his eyes never leaving the raven. "Dunno...She was screamin' for awhile, mumbled a few things...now she seems to be resting. That shit I gave her was pretty strong, doubt she'll be awake for a day or two."

The old woman nodded, getting up from her chair with an achy groan, bones cracking a little as she stretched. "Lets head home then, be more comfortable there." John agreed wordlessly, carefully picking Lydia up and standing. As they were crossing the bridge into Sanctuary, Mama paused, looking up at the moon high over head. The ghoul stopped, looking back at her, wondering what she was thinking about as she stood there with her hands behind her back. She seemed to sense his unspoken curiosity, turning her smile at him a moment, "I saw something while I was in that high, strongest sight I've seen in ages..." Her pale blue eyes turned again to the sky, expression mysterious. "Oh yeah...what did you see?" He wondered if it was good or bad, moving to stand beside her, the breeze ruffling his coat gently.

"I saw you, kid. You've been runnin' a long time haven't you? Ah, but you won't be much longer." The ghoul stiffened, face turning hard as he looked out over the river that glistened beneath the moonlight. "Don't look so scared. It's a good thing...after all no one runs from happiness." Mama walked off, leaving him with just that cryptic little tato and nothing more. Black eyes widened, blinking in shock, the wind kicking up around him a moment like some kind of weirdly planned sign. "Wha-Hey! Come on! Tell me more than that!"

"Not a chance kid, you gotta figure the rest out on your own!"

* * *

 

Hancock didn't worry too much at first, when Lydia didn't wake up, she was still breathing after all and over all seemed to have handle the chem fine, no obvious side effects outside the comma. But after five days? He was panicking, scared he had overdosed her or worse. If he had had hair he would have been tearing it out by then. Pacing the living room, trying to think of something to fix this, Nick sitting on the couch. Neither seemed to think of anything and Fluffy clawing at the door wasn't helping at all. The damned Deathclaw was taller than John now and wasn't doing well listening to him, getting antsy and anxious without his 'Mother' as it were. "Jesus, Nicky what if this kills her or leaves her braindead?! I-I didn't even think it through when I gave her that shit!"

"There's no guarantee it has anything to do with the drugs, Hancock. Could be something else...She's not a heavy user, maybe its just taking longer than normal." Nick argued, but didn't sound all that confident, lighting yet another cigarette, leaning on his knees. Hancock wondered, not for the first time, if the synth even got anything from the smoking or just did it to give his hands something to do. The detective's face brightened suddenly, an idea striking him like lightening to the circuits, "What if its her memories? Maybe this is just like the attack in my office. You said she freaked out this time too, just much later. Its possible right?"

"So? That doesn't tell us how to get her to wake up." The ghoul growled, sitting himself in the chair near Nick, face in his hands. "What I'm getting at is Amari. The Memory Den! Maybe we can find out what she remembered exactly, try and pull her out that way, at least with some kind of clue it could help." John lifted his head, black eyes wide, mouth falling open a bit. It was both a fantastic idea and incredibly dangerous. Taking an immobile person that far across the Commonwealth was like putting a target on your back for every raider, mutant, and gunner with an itch to kill something. The synth seemed to think of this too, humming. "We could take Codsworth and Dogmeat, give us extra protection. I'd say lets take the deathclaw...but someone would likely shoot it and without the kid to keep it corralled it might hurt someone."

"Bet Mama could keep an eye on him." Hancock suggested, already on his feet, moving about to prepare for the journey. "If we keep walking and don't stop we can be there by tomorrow night." He mumbled, mostly to himself as he loaded his bag with chems and necessities, extra clothes for Lydia when they got there. He couldn't help feeling like she might want them and he wanted to do anything he could to make her comfortable if nothing else. Nick nodded and went outside to get Codsworth and talk to Mama Murphey. Took less than an hour for them to prepare, Codsworth carrying the bag, Dogmeat taking lead and Nick the rear. Hancock took first turn carrying their unconscious cargo, determination in his dark eyes.

* * *

 

It was late in the night when they reached the gates of _Goodneighbor_ , John again holding Lydia protectively, having not let Nick do it for too long despite being clearly exhausted. He was running on pure adrenaline, hadn't even taking any chems, a first in a long time. No sooner did they enter the town, did a ruckus begin, starting with KL-E-O and Daisy, who were glad to see him. But the joy was soon replaced with worry, the watchmen already spreading the word the Mayor was back and before they knew it everyone was following them to the den, wondering what was going on. Whispers invaded the air, but no one had answers and Hancock wasn't talking to anyone.

The ghoul mayor was focused on his current task as he marched straight down into Amari's little make shift lab in the Den's basement, the brunette looking surprised by the sudden intrusion. "Mayor Hancock, what a surprise. It's quiet an irregular time for anyone to be visiting. Erm...is that Lydia? What's happened?" John settled the raven in his arms onto the couch in the room, stepping back to talk to the doctor, but no sooner did he than he literally collapsed on the floor. Blacking out from the exhaustion like someone had hit a switch on a light.

Nick, startled, tried to catch the other man. But Hancock was on the floor before he could, making the old detective grimace, "Damn...told him he needed to slow down..."

Codsworth spun a bit, a worried sort of action, if robots could worry like that at least, "Oh dear. I dare say lets hope he isn't out as long as Mum. She'll be very upset when she wakes up." With some help from some of the drifters, they moved the mayor upstairs to another couch to rest, leaving Nick and Codsworth to explain to Amari what was going on. The doctor seemed skeptical the plan would work, but none the less agreed to try, letting Nick load Lydia into a lounger.

* * *

 

After three or four hours Hancock awoke with a massive headache, sitting up to find Irma checking him over, "Oh, sugar, was starting to worry about you. Feeling okay? Hungry or anything?" He shook his head, sensing the worry in the way she moved and spoke. Looking around, not seeing his little bird or Nick, his heart jolted. Hammering a little in his scarred chest, realizing what had happened without asking, cursing softly. "They downstairs?" The blonde smiled a little and nodded, allowing him to stand and head into the basement without much fuss. Sure enough the raven was in one of the loungers, looking no closer to waking. Nick looked resigned, Amari sighed and straightened from her terminal, not seeing him at first. "Still nothing...its like she blocking us out. I can't imagine what would be so horrible she wouldn't want to recall it or even let anyone see."

"She lost her husband and kid, Amari..." Hancock said as he approached the lounger, laying a hand on the curved glass, staring at the raven within. Amari turned, only just realizing he was there, expression sour as she glanced at the unconscious girl in the lounger. "Perhaps, but she's keeping a tight lid on all her memories...I can't access any of them, its just black fuzzy shapes." The doctor explained, leaning against the computer, trying to think of something. The mayor glanced at the other lounger in the room, narrowing his eyes and walking over, opening it and starting to climb in. "What are you doing?"

"Think you can load me into her mind? Maybe I can get through from the inside..." Amari was about to argue, but then paused to think, "That's...just crazy enough to work, but...I've never done anything like this. There's no telling what kind of side effects it might have..."

"I'm willing to risk it Amari...Even if I end up a vegetable. She's gotta wake up, we can't keep her alive like this forever right?" The doctor frowned deeply, shutting the lounger after a moments hesitation, talking him through it as she started up the program. As much as she feared the risk, she could only imagine the raven dying on them, the mayor would be devastated. Anyone with eyes could see the attachment he had to her. 

* * *

 

Darkness was the first thing he saw...but he could feel something...like a mixture of fear and hesitation that was not his own...He tried to speak, but the words weren't physical, just sort of hung in the nothingness. **'Lydia...its me love...please...let me in...let me understand. I wanna help you...'** It was silent. And then, like a movie starting up, fuzzy at first, a scene came to life before him in dingy, tainted color...

_A young girl of seven, with short curly hair and bright, lively blue eyes stood in a pre-war living room. An apartment, judging by the size and the sounds of city life beyond an open window. "Luella, get your fucking ass in here! I'm starving!" Came a harsh voice. It was hot, muggy and damp in the room. Summer after a long rain. A man sat in a comfy red chair, beer in hand and looking less than pleased as the little girl brought him a plate of mostly burnt food, looking nervous. "The fuck is this shit?!" The man screamed, but the scene sort of froze, a familiar voice seeming to narrate it. It took Hancock a moment to realize it was Lydia's thoughts on the memory itself, like she was trying to describe to him how it made her feel._

_ 'I never knew my mother. Only that she died when I was born, not of natural cause, of her own will. She had a long history of mental illness. Like depression, paranoia...My father no doubt made it worse. At least I think so. I remember him always being drunk and violent, feeling like he hated me. My very existence was a hindrance to him. I don't know why he kept me around...I don't know why I didn't run away. Guess I was more scared of the outside world than I was of him. Why did they even have me in the first place?' _

The scene began moving again and John watched in horror as the man viciously beat the hell out of the girl. The young Lydia screaming in vain for help and trying to escape him, but he just kept going until she blacked out. The image faded with her...

Hancock felt like he couldn't breath for a moment, realizing this must have been how she felt. He vaguely heard Amari exclaim that the memories were starting to show up, telling him she was going to bring the next one up, paused, then said something about the computer had locked her out. None the less a new scene appeared before him, it was like a door had been opened and all the ugliness in Luella's life was spilling out before him.

_This time it did not pause as Lydia's voice began talking. Before him was Luella, a little older now, maybe ten? Walking down a long dark hallway, dressed in a simple sleeping gown of pale blue, a large knife in hand. Her bare feet made nary a sound on the cold tile floor... 'I remember waking up before the sun, feeling nothing at all. Just...empty. Cold and empty. I had no one that cared. No one that wanted to help. I was alone in the world. Just a punching bag to him and an urchin to everyone else.' Lydia walked into a bedroom, pushing open the door to reveal her father sleeping in his bed, beer bottles and broken glass all over the place. 'I just didn't care anymore...It was me or him. I couldn't take it anymore. The constant fear. The pain. So I decided to take the matter into my own hands since no one else was willing to save me. Guess I should have realized back then...that there was something very wrong with me.' The raven climbed onto the bed with the drunken man, who groggily lifted his head, "What the hell..? GAH!!" She began tearing into his chest with the knife, literally ripping his insides out of him...and the worst part wasn't the blood or the screams. But the way she looked so fucking happy doing it. And he couldn't even blame her. The son of a bitch deserved it, worse in fact._

The scene faded out...

_The raven appeared in what looked to be a hospital, at least fifteen now, already looking lovely. Even in that ugly hospital gown. A man in a lab coat, doctor probably, was talking to her, the two sitting across the table from each other. "You've shown great improvement Ms. Rozencourt, minimal night terrors. No violent out bursts. You haven't even tried to hurt yourself in a full year. Looks like you'll be able to leave and live a normal, productive life!"_

_ 'It was hell in that place, a far worse hell than when my father had been alive. I don't remember a lot of it, I was so doped up on meds at the time. They said it would help and I guess it did...sort of. I tried killing myself a handful of times, apparently I had inherited a lot of my mothers problems. Some of them had been my dads fault, years of abuse had conditioned me to be...well volatile. Unpredictable, as the doctors put it. I was a danger. Both to myself and those around me. I don't even know how many people I attacked. Usually when they spoke too loud or it was too noisy or they just said the wrong thing at the wrong time. Took a long time to get it under control. Learn to hold it in, fake it. Pretend I was fine.' _

She was still a teen in the next memory, out on a rainy street, shivering violently as she curled up beside a trash can trying to stay warm. Looking way too thin and pale, sickly. Hancock realized with a start that he recognized the lights of a building across the street. The Old State House, bright white and regal as hell. And the building she leaned against was the same that now housed the Den...

_ 'Yeah...normal life. Turns out no one would give a second thought to a former crazy needing a job or even a place to live. Don't know what even kept me going, hell I could barely buy the meds that kept my head straight. Ended up turning to the chems for awhile, they were cheap, easily accessible. I tried to manage the shit in my head the hard way. I thought I would die out there. Like the garbage I always believed I was. Its funny how fate works isn't?' _

_From the shadows of a near by street a young man appeared, looked to be around the raven's age, maybe a bit older. He looked curious, concerned. With a head of shaggy red hair and green eyes, wearing a clean t-shirt and jeans, he approached Luella with slow caution. "Hey...uh...I noticed you hanging out here the last few days. I...I know you don't know me from Adam, but...Well I was hoping you would let me help you." Hazy eyes lifted slowly to gaze at the stranger, mouth open slightly in surprise as the man held his hand out to her and waited, "Wh-why...?" Her voice was hoarse, badly strained and as he listened her breathing sounded raspy. The young man smiled sweetly, "Because its the neighborly thing to do."_

_'Nate...He was so...different than anyone else I had met. The first person in my life to ever reach out and give a fuck about me. Took me in from the rain like a stray and nursed me back to health. I loved him for it. His heart was like a golden sun in a black sky. God, but he put up with so much shit with me...saw me through the worst of my attacks. Hell it was around that time the panic attacks started, I didn't know what caused them, at first. Nate thought it was just stress, me trying to adjust to some form of normality. I wish that was all it was.'_

The scene again changed, this time Luella was standing on the edge of a roof, the wind wiping around her. Wearing another hospital gown, bare foot. It was cold, freezing, yet she didn't seem to notice. Blue eyes looked almost lifeless as she stared out over the lights of Boston, trembling ever so softly.

_'For a long time my life had been...perfect I guess. Nate and I had gotten married before his first tour of duty. I went to school, got my law degree, found out I was pregnant just after Nate left on his second tour. I remember being happy about it at first, calling Nate and telling him the news. He had insisted we get a Mr. Handy so I could just relax, enjoy the pregnancy. Codsworth was my best friend. I thought he could keep me sane. How wrong I had been. I didn't tell Nate...When I went off the meds, I had to for the baby's health...Didn't even see the signs, feel the darkness creeping in...I never thought I might relapse so hard. After so many years without any major attacks.' The raven stepped off the edge and they were falling fast toward the pavement, but it felt like eternity before they reached it. 'It was just after Shaun was born...there were some complications they said...Wouldn't let me see him at all and I just...snapped. Thought the worst, that he was dead and it was all my fault. I had taken to drinking pretty heavy while Nate was on tour, see? Before I realized I was pregnant. But the damage was done wasn't it? Sure I quiet after I found out...but I couldn't handle the guilt and just...'_

The ground reached them, Hancock's own body jerking in his lounger, he could hear Amari panicking. Nick was shouting something, but he couldn't make out what it was, to focused on the sights. The memories he was seeing. The feelings that felt so real, so solid, trying to decided where his began and hers ended.

_Lydia lay in a hospital bed, staring up at the ceiling with dull eyes, Nate stood beside her, holding her hand and smoothing little circles with his thumb on the back of it. A doctor across from him looked smug, "You need to understand. She is a very unstable individual, we were worried for the child's safety, given your wife's records." Nate looked rightfully pissed, "That's bullshit! She's had no major problems in years! It was under control! Your the cause of this! Jesus, you took Shaun away before she could even see him!" The doctor seemed unfazed by the shouting, just stuck his chin up, "And yet here she lays. From an attempted suicide. Are you so sure its ever been under control Mr. Bishop? On the meds maybe, but without them she's as dangerous as ever to herself and everyone around her."_

_Nate look stunned, "Her meds...She's never gone off them." The doctor smirked, "I beg to differ, she went off them after she discovered the pregnancy. She would have had to. Those medications would have caused the child serious developmental problems." Luella shut her eyes, hot tears slipping from their corners and sliding down into her hair. Softly, so softly it was almost impossible to hear she began mumbling. "I'm..so sorry...this is all my fault...Why did I ever think I could be a mother..."_

_'Nate was...hesitant to leave me alone after that, for any length of time. Ended up leaving the army on the terms that I was unable to care for myself. And in a way I guess he was right. It was months before I could walk on my own, hell I could barely hold Shaun and he weighed almost nothing...As selfish as it was, I was glad Nate stayed. I don't think I could have handled him leaving again, meds or not.'_

_They were in a nursery, a tiny baby laying in a crib, cooing happily as the raven played with his hands. Looking blissfully happy for once, "Whose my little man? Hmhm, I just know your going to grow up to be someone special...Your going to be like your daddy, strong and smart. Not like Mommy, okay?" Nate appeared in the doorway, smiling warmly, "How are my two favorite people?" The man asked, walking across the room to stand at the end of the crib, "Say, I was thinking. If the weather holds up, we should go down to the park."_

_"Sounds like fun." Luella replied, turning her attention back to baby Shaun. "Sir, Mum! You should come see this!" Codsworth voice called out from the living room, the raven woman frowning, walking out of the nursery. On the TV a man was talking about bombs going off and blinding flashes._ And again Hancock felt like he was chocking. _"This...isn't happening."_

_ 'That was the last day I thought I would be happy. The day the world as I knew it came crashing down around me like fragile shards of glass...' _

_"We need to get to the vault!" Nate yelled, Shaun already in his arms as they ran from the house, leaving Codsworth behind._

_And then they were standing in a long room, lined in strange pods, doctors and others milling about. The doctors telling them that it was only temporary, just to depressurize them, so on and so on. The raven trembled, looking to Nate for support, reaching out to touch Shaun. Her husband smiled reassuringly, "Its okay, Luella...I'm going to be right over there, your going to be fine."_

_ 'But I wasn't fine. Everything in me was screaming to run away. Telling me something was wrong about this. And that was the last time I got to hear his voice...to touch my sons hand or hear his soft cooing.' _

_She climbed into a pod, suit on, breathing erratic as the door closed and it became cold. And then it was white, couldn't breath, couldn't move...And when it cleared, she was shaking, staring out the tiny window at Nate's pod across the way. Could just make out people talking before they came into view, someone in a strange suit and a man in dingy clothes with a bald head. "This is the one." The woman said, pointing to Nate's pod, "Open it." The man said, the woman doing as she was told, the pod opening with a flush of mist white. She could hear and see Nate coughing, clutching Shaun close and protective. The woman tried to take the baby, Nate fought her, and the man leveled a gun on him. "No...n-no...! NATE!!!" Luella screamed, pounding weakly on the glass, hot tears pooling in her eyes. The gun shot echoed loudly in her ears, her heart feeling as if it had just stopped, shattering into tiny pieces in her chest. The bald man walked up to the glass and smirked, "At least we still have the back up."_

_And then the white out and coldness returned, the sense of breathlessness. When it faded the pod door was opening, the raven stumbling out onto the metal walkway, coughing and chocking on the warmer air. Shaking violently, she managed to get to her feet._ _'Y'know, for the briefest moment, I thought it was a nightmare. Caused from going off my meds or something. Or just a bad trip...'_ _Luella scrambled to Nate's pod, pulling the release valve, the door coming free with a hiss. "Nate?!"_ His own heart felt like it stopped, feeling the pain of it as if he was her, watching as she fell to her knees. _"Nate...Y-your...this can't...can't be real..."_

_The scene stayed the same, but Luella was wearing something different now, drifters clothes. The smile on her lips bitter as she reached out and took the ring from Nate's finger, gripping it tightly, "I promise...I'm doing better now. I-I fit in better here, can you believe I've made friends? I'm a General now too. A-and don't worry, I'm going to find Shaun, somehow." She spoke in a soft voice, the words calm and casual, but the feeling was aching. "One of my friends is a detective, can you believe it? Even in this crazy wasteland they still have those!" Somewhere in the shadows there was a bark, the raven smiling a little, "I...I gotta go Nate. Y-You should know...I'm...I'm not coming back." The words broke a little, "I need to keep moving forward, right? You always said I needed to so...Goodbye...Nate."_

_Darkness...and then she was standing there, in that torn up black sweater and jeans, pistol in trembling hands. "Give me back my baby! Give me back Shaun!" She screamed, firing a shot that grazed passed Kellog's face, the man not even flinching, "What's the saying? 'So close, but so far?' I can't give you your son lady...He's right where he needs to be. At home. In the Institute."_

_ 'The Institute...the boogie man of the Commonwealth. Everyone talked about them. How they took people who were never seen again. That no one knew how to get to them. And I realized in that moment that it was hopeless...All the fighting...all the scars I had gained over those months...had been for nothing.' _

_Hazy eyes went wide, tears spilling over, the gun slowly falling. "N-no...no...you...you have to...give him back...He's all I have...left...." The words were broken, anguished and chocked. Kellog laughed at her, "Whoops, looks like your screwed then. Now if you don't mind, I've got other business..." He lifted his .44, ready to pull the trigger, "If its any consolation...he's actually happy there." The mercenary almost sounded...sorry for her as he pulled the trigger. The scene froze, bullet hanging in the air..._

_ 'I just...wanted to start over...hit the reset button, y'know? I wondered if I could be happy. If I just forgot and started over fresh. Guess I got my wish...' _

The next memory was in a place Hancock knew very well, they were standing in Goodneighbor, watching in surprise as the raven stumbled away from the gate. _'Its funny. It seems like, as far back as I can remember, whenever I was in trouble I came to Scollay Square. It was like I was drawn there.'_ Watched himself approaching Finn, killing the man for being an asshole and looking like a cocky ass doing it. Listened to himself talking to her, like he was living out his own memory, it felt so damned strange. That fluttering feeling that washed over him that was not his own.

_ 'I think...in a way I sort of knew we would be seeing a lot of each other. Even then, watching him take Finn out like that, my heart was pulled toward him in much the way I was drawn to that place since I was young.' _

And then they were beneath the State House balcony, the raven on the ground, looking up at three armed men. Facing death all over again. _'I didn't even care. At that point, after the month I had spent scraping to survive, not even able to buy a fucking Stimpak or a place to sleep. I just hadn't cared. I felt like I didn't belong and would have been better off dead. And then...like the devil come to punish the sinners he appeared.'_

_One guys head exploded, a gun shot echoing in the small area. Above them, on the balcony was himself, looking like an avenging devil indeed. He wondered if that's really how he looked, or if her mind had glossed him up a bit. Maybe her emotions were affecting his mind? The guys ran off and Hancock, the memory one, relaxed with an easy smile. "Y'know you keep causing trouble and I might be forced to ask you to leave." He teased, but the fear that ran over him was obvious and hard to ignore and very much hers. "Woah, I was kidding. Relax. The hell are you doing out here anyway? It's freezing..." Silence as he gazed down at her, black eyes softening in realization, "Were you...going to sleep out here?" John watched the scene, watched himself disappear, watched her dejectedly climb back onto the bench. Feeling ashamed of herself and loathing her own existence. And then he reappeared, smiled at her, held his hand out to her..._

_'Even if I didn't remember Nate at the time...his actions reminded me of Nate. He reached out to me when everyone else either tried to kill me or worse...I think I was already falling for him.'_

Another scene, them together, just talking and getting high and playing chess badly. And then another and another. And then them dancing. This warm, soft feeling washed over him that he was certain was both hers and his all at once. And all he wanted to do was reach out and take her hand and tell her how much he loved her...

_ 'I wish he knew how much he meant to me, even then. Those little moments, they made me so damn happy. Calmed all the weird feelings I couldn't place or remember the reasons for. Its funny, from the moment we met, I stopped having the attacks as often. Sure I had nightmares, nasty ones I couldn't remember afterward. But it was minor compared to before, looking back on it now. I even stopped thinking about death. I was content, at last. But Fate really is just a cruel fucker huh? For every ounce of joy, it always brings twice the sorrow...' _

And then he watched, horrified as those men raped her, listened to her sobs. Watched as they drug her into his office and dropped her there on the floor. Waited for himself to inevitably appear...and the image froze. _'I wanted to die. All over again. The moment he saw me like that...I wished I had never been born, wished those raiders had killed me instead of chased me to his feet. All I did was bring him trouble.'_ He was kneeling before her, they whispered to each other, and then she was kissing him. He was sure it was his heart that fluttered in his heart remembering that kiss he had longed for to last longer...

 _'I was disgusted with myself, those men making it so much worse. But I wasn't going to let them kill Hancock. I was a soiled bit of garbage and he was...He was strong, a wonderful leader, a red devil with the golden heart of an angel. I wasn't going to see him die because of me. I knew, that it was risky, fighting in the shape I was in. Being not only out numbered, but not fully healed. I actually hoped I would lose...I really am horrible. Even with no memories I was volatile I guess...'_ He watched her lung at those men, rip them apart like she had her father all those years back, except this time there was no relieved, wild joy. Just the heartbreaking pain, the burn of her body protesting as they stumbled down the stairs...

Then it was that drifting darkness again for awhile, Hancock was standing in the middle of it, looking around. _'I can't imagine...why he would ever want me. This worthless, helpless, useless creature that I am.'_ Luella's mental voice was filled with some mixture of joy and sorrow, _'But he did...he risked Diamond City for me...went all the way to Sanctuary...beat the shit out of Preston...But...you can't possibly want me now John...I'm just a broken vase that can't be fixed. I cause nothing but trouble everywhere I go. I failed as a daughter. A wife. A mother. Hell I'm not even good at **living**.'_

Hancock frowned, trying again to reach out to her, _**'But your wrong Luella...You did your best at those things and that's what counts. You can't expect to be perfect. We all...we all have our ups and downs. But look at what you've accomplished! You saved Goodneighbor. You...you saved me...We all want to give up and die sometimes, hell if you only knew how many times I wished the same. But I...I have you now. Your the Sunshine I've been waitin' my whole damned life to see...And maybe I'm being selfish asking you to not give up, but...fuck...I need you. I need you more than I've needed anything. More than the chems, the alcohol, anything. I'm down right addicted to you darlin'...So please...I'm begging you, wake up. For me. For Shaun. And Nick and Dogmeat and that stupid deathclaw you insisted on keeping.'**_  His own voice, mental or not, sounded like he might be about to cry. Something he never did, he could feel the warm, wetness flowing down his scared cheeks.

* * *

 

Took him a few moments to realize he was awake, staring at the 'Stand By' screen of the lounger. The pod opening, allowing him to sit up, leaning on his knees. His head hurt worse than ever and he felt queasy like he might throw up at any moment, shaking hands rubbing his tear stained face. The ghoul felt so strange, could feel all these aching emotions that he knew weren't entirely his.

He didn't even look over when he heard the other lounger open with a hiss, figuring Nick was going to move the raven elsewhere for now. But it was not Nick or Amari's voices that broke the deafening silence, "John...?"

The name was whispered in a small, frail voice filled with hesitation and fear, sorrow and anguish, love mixed in it all like honey into a shot of whiskey. The mayor lifted his head, black eyes wide in surprise as they met the gaze of hazy blues, those tears flowing again without his permission. But he didn't care, didn't matter right then, as he stood and stumbled over to her. Pulling the small raven into his arms, holding her tight to his chest as he heaved a small, broken noise. Relief washing over him like the ocean crashing against the rocky shore, "Lydia...No, Luella...right? Jesus, I was so fucking sure you weren't coming back..." He breathed out, sitting there on his knees with her, feeling her shaking against him, or was that him shaking? Fuck he didn't know.

"I-I'm sorry John...I...I was just so...I don't know. I swear...I'll keep trying...for you and everyone else. I'm not alone anymore...I know that now. Thanks to you..." She said between soft sobs, face buried into his coat, sniffling softly. It was a long time before they moved, before anyone dared speak to them.

"You should both get some rest..." Amari said delicately, "I'll need to check you over tomorrow, make sure everything's normal." The doctor explained, cleaning up the room for something to do. Hancock nodded, sitting back first, lifting a scared hand to wipe his face a bit. Make himself more presentable, no need to look like a weak ass in front of everyone in town. Taking a calming breath, he smiled down at Luella, who returned the look with a weak one of her own. "Yeah, lets...lets go." The raven nodded, getting to her feet with the taller man, leaning against him a moment. Taking few deep breaths to remind herself it was going to be okay. She was going to be okay.

 


	11. Heartbeats in Quiet Rooms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *NSFW*

Back in the warm and quiet of the State House, John ran everyone outside, holding himself and his little bird up in his room with the doors tightly shut. Leaning back against the aged wood doors, fishing a Jet out of his coat pocket and huffing it, letting it relax his frazzled nerves. Lydia...No, _Luella_ , jesus he was going to have to get used to calling her that, was sitting on his bed already. "You gonna be okay?" He asked, breaking the silence as he crossed the room to drop himself in the old red chair near the balcony door, relaxing there.

"Eventually...Its...a lot to process." She replied, pushing her hair back, staring distantly at the floor beneath her feet. Trying to find the right words, "Did I...you were there...? Right? In my head...I-I didn't imagine that?" Hazy eyes turned on the ghoul, a strange expression in them. She was nervous, frightened to a point, wondering what he thought of it all if he had in fact seen. Had those words that had rung out toward the end really been him comforting her or had her mind cooked that up? "You saw...all of it?"

Hancock nodded slowly, "Yeah...Talked Amari into hooking me up to your lounger. Thought if I got inside I could reach you." She visibly relaxed, shoulders slumping a little as she sat herself on the edge of his bed across the room. "Guess I wasn't wrong...Not gonna lie though. You...you are a wonder." He noticed her confusion at his words, the frown that marred her face, "I mean I'm surprised. That you made it this long, kept any sanity at all after going through that much shit. I seriously thought I had a crap history...The shit that's eaten me up inside all these years? Its nothing compared to you."

She looked away, bangs shadowing her eyes again, "I...can we talk about something else...please?"

"'Course...sorry."

The raven shook her head, getting to her feet and moving around a little, trying to put the mess out of her mind. Aside from the pain those memories brought, they also brought other emotions, some new. Like the determination to find Shaun, freshened. Could she track Kellog down again? "So...where do we go from here sister? It's your call." Hancock said, coming to stand beside her, taking her hand gently in his to show he was there for her. "I...I want to find Shaun still. I know what Kellog said...that he was safe there and happy. But I...I want to see it for myself. I want to...to hold him. Just once more..." Luella bit back a broken noise, sucking in a breath to calm herself before she lost it all over again, "Its going to be dangerous. Might not come out alive...you sure you still want to stick with me?"

Hancock smirked a little, lacing their fingers together and lifting her chin with his other hand so their eyes met, "Darlin', I wouldn't trade it for the world. I'm with you till the end." He told her, leaning in and placing a chaste kiss to her lips, "So...I think a bath would do us both good. Take me a bit to get it full, you can go first though."

A blush coated her cheeks and she nodded, letting him go about the long process of filling buckets with hot water from the sink and carrying them to the bathroom she actually didn't realize was just off to the side from his room. After a bit though she noticed how he slowed down, looked ready to collapse and bit her lip. Wordlessly lending him a hand that he did not refuse.

Once the tub was full, gentle steam rising off the surface of the water, she turned to him. "Why don't you go first? I-I was out quiet awhile, so I imagine your pretty wiped."

John hummed a little, maybe he was just tired or feeling a little braver than normal, but his mouth over rode his head. "We could take it together, if your feeling up to it?" He suggested, dark eyes taking in the sight of the cute red staining her cheeks, "Then again I might end up giving you nightmares..." He frowned to himself thinking about it a little further, sure she had seen him shirtless, but the hell would she think of him totally nude?

Luella made a face at this, frowning deeply at the negative comment about himself, "John...I seriously doubt that." She told him firmly, feeling a little bit of a wild rush taking over, she took off her t-shirt and tossed it aside. Despite feeling exposed and defiantly nervous about it, she was planning to prove something, right there. "Well? Are we getting in or letting the water get cold?"

The ghoul blinked, surprised by her sudden bravado and determination. A smirk curved thin lips as he shucked his coat and vest, unbuttoning his shirt. He fumbled a little with it, distracted by the sight of the raven removing her bra, back to him. Momentarily he was disturbed by the multiple scars that littered the skin of her back, all the way down to the hem of the jeans she was already working off. He couldn't help himself as he stepped toward her, reaching out and running his fingers over the grooves and raised lines. The raven stiffened beneath his touch, wither from surprise or something else he wasn't sure at first, yanking his hand back with a rushed apology.

He watched her slowly relax again, "It's...okay. Not like you wouldn't have notice them at some point." Luella told him in a soft voice, turning her head slightly to glance his way a second, before looking away again. The ghoul grit his teeth, fighting the questions boiling under the surface, but his curiosity got the better of him. "Did your father do all that?"

The raven turned her eyes to the floor and shook her head, "Not exactly all of them. The older ones are his. But some of the more recent stuff was from when I...well when I jumped off the hospital roof." She lifted a hand to her shoulder, fingers brushing one of the scars there that wrapped around a bit. "I apparently hit a flag pole on the way down and landed in the bramble trees they used to decorate. Honestly I don't remember much of the fall itself. Just...a lot of what happened after." Her voice was calm, almost devoid of feeling and it made Hancock's chest tighten, wishing he hadn't brought it up. "They said I was out a week. When I woke up I remember thinking how much of a failure I was. At that point I still didn't know anything about what had happened to Shaun, they refused to tell me much of anything at all. Nate was the one to tell me the truth," The laugh that left her lips was bitter, "The complication? The reason they wouldn't let me see him was he was struggling to breath, his lungs hadn't formed right. Nate swore it wasn't my fault, but I still wonder."

John looked away, stepping back a little, "Sorry...I didn't mean to bring it up."

"Its okay. It...it kind of feels good to talk about it." She replied, turning toward him a moment with a soft smile, still in her underwear, before turning around to pick up and fold their cloths neatly. John felt his face heat up. Sucking in a sharp breath, the scars going on the back burner. The sight of her, mostly nude before him, fuck if the image didn't stir something a little south of his heart.

Glancing over her shoulder, she saw he had frozen, looking a little dumbstruck. It almost made her laugh, at least she wasn't the only one who found something in the room irresistible. But it was still a shock to see the usually confident Mayor at a loss. "Need some help?" The question held only a bit of nervousness as she approached him, her hair hiding her breasts for the most part as it fell over her shoulders in messy waves. They weren't particularly large, but they looked like supple little pillows and he itched to reach out and touch them, curious to see if they were as plush as they looked.

Luella could almost make out the red in his cheeks as she reached out to help him with the shirt, carefully folding it up and setting it with the rest of his things, seeming so calm about this whole thing. But inside she was nervous, stomach fluttering like wild bloatfly's and heart pounding louder than a stampede of brahman. And it didn't help when he just stood there like that, staring at her with this...was he upset? The raven drew up short, blinking up at John, worrying her lip a bit.

"Did I...misunderstand something...? I-I...I'm sorry!" The words were small, hardly loud enough for even him, but he heard her well enough. Watched her move to gather her things, looking more than a little ashamed and it confused him. Reaching out, he grabbed her elbow to stop her, sighing heavily. "Don't...don't go. Please?" He didn't look at her, couldn't. If he had he wouldn't have been able to talk at all. He could feel her arm relax a little, "Its not a misunderstanding Luella...I just...I want you  to be sure of this. OF all this. I don't want you rushing in an regretting it later."

"John..."

He grit his teeth, looking up at the ceiling, letting her arm go. He could feel the tremble in his fingers and wished like hell he had something stronger to calm the nervousness besides the Jet. What was it about her that undid him? Around her he felt vulnerable, exposed like raw flesh. But he didn't exactly dislike the feeling. It was only that it scared him, a lot. Still, he had come this far. Risked everything to get there and be there beside her. He couldn't...wouldn't fucking give up now. But he needed to know she was sure about this. "I ain't going to lie. I'm nothing like Nate...And being with a ghoul is like a social death sentence, you need to understand what your getting yourself into. It's not too late to back out."

The silence that fell over the room was like the river in winter, it chilled one to the bone, stung the skin and fogged ones mind. At least that's how it felt to Hancock, whose black eyes were closed, waiting with bated breath for some sort of answer. Be it the door opening and closing or...

"I think you spent too much time in my head John." The ghoul blinked, surprised by the words, he turned to look at her with all the confusion he felt. "What?" She only smiled softly, shaking her head a bit, looking toward the boarded up windows a moment. "I know your nothing like Nate. And I don't want you to be. I love who you are John and I wouldn't want you to be anyone but yourself." She looked up at him with those blue eyes and he felt like an open wound, like his chest had been ripped open and she could see everything inside. "Yes, at first you reminded me of him. But it was only in the way you stuck up for me, when everyone else turned a blind eye."

The raven took both his rough hands into her smooth ones, tangling their fingers together, "I love _you,_ John Hancock. And I don't care what anyone else thinks of it. The world could burn for all I cared, as long as I have you at my side."

John sucked in a shaky breath, dark eyes wide as he looked down at her, took in those words. For a moment it felt like the world had fallen away, like it was just the two of them and nothing else mattered. A smile curled slowly across his thin lips, shoulders relaxing a bit, "Trust me Darlin', I ain't going  anywhere anytime soon..." He replied quietly, leaning in and kissing her softly, just enjoying the feeling of her lips in a languid moment of ecstasy. If only he had remembered to breath, because a few minutes later he swayed, nearly falling over. Cursing, that was embarrassing.

Luella looked worried, helping him stay on his feet, she lead him to an old desk to lean against. "You need rest. Staying up and trekking across the wasteland for three days isn't healthy..." She chastised, kneeling down to get his shoes off with the intention of making him take a bath, let him relax and put him straight to bed. Completely forgetting what they had been leading up to for the time being. The mayor made a face, "How did you know about that...?"

A smirk crossed pale pink lips, hazy blues looking up into black a moment as she set his boots aside and damned if that image didn't go straight to his groin. "You just told me."

"The hell...?"

"Hm, I knew I was out awhile. And I know you, well enough to know you would have been too worried to sit still long. Like when Finn's friends...well you were up several days and Fahrenheit even commented you hadn't been sleeping. So I figured you had done the same this time." She said it all matter of factly, seeming pretty proud of herself, especially when he shook his head and smirked. "Perceptive little bird aren't you?"

"I learned from the best." She winked, leaning up on her knees to reach for the flag around his waste, slowly and carefully untying it. Settling the cloth on the desk beside him, Luella reached for the hem of his pants, but he again stopped her a moment, feeling his cheeks warm. "Love...You might wanna tread carefully...I'm not so sure I'll be able to stop myself if you keep going like that, cause its going straight to my fucking head." There was a double meaning there, one that even she couldn't miss as the red coated her cheeks. Nibbling her lower lip, she thought it over all of three minutes, before popping open the button on his colonial pants.

He shuddered a sharp breath, feeling the cool air hit him when she pulled those pants down, no underwear beneath. He was already fully standing, his erection arching thickly toward his stomach, glistening in the low lighting with precum. John's breathing faltered slightly, his heart pounding loudly as he looked down at the beautiful raven still kneeling there on the floor. By the gods they must have looked in complete contrast though. Her, a smooth, pale angel with those bright eyes and dark hair. And him, a scared devil, all black eyes and danger.

The ghoul's hands gripped the desk he was leaning against, needing to hold onto something as he watched one of her pale hands lift to glide those thin fingers along the length of him. She looked so curious, like she was memorizing him, getting to know him on this new level.

And that's exactly what she was doing. Luella was fascinated, in the strangest way, by him. He was so beautiful, in such a special way to her. Looking up into his dark eyes, arousal stirring in her gut, she could feel a heat building between her thighs. Shaking her head a little, she was supposed to be encouraging him to relax! But it was so hard to resist this, him, all of him as he was displayed before her right then. Taking a deep breath, she got to her feet, taking his hand and leading him to the steaming tub in the corner. "Come on you...You've taken care of me too many times to count, so its my turn to try and return the favor."

He pulled her into him when they reached the tub, distracting her again as she looked up at him, feeling the heat of his body against her own. Her skin felt chilled next to his. "Oh, yeah? How's this going to go? Hm?" He asked against her throat as he dragged his teeth across the smooth skin and over her bare shoulder, pushing her dark hair back, feeling the way she shivered beneath him. The raven stammered, cheeks burning. Lifting her hands to his shoulders, feeling the scared texture under them, gripping onto him. "J-John..."

The ghoulish man nipped at her skin, near her collar bone, loving the sound of his name on her lips like that. He felt himself twitch, damned but he might just cum listening to her. "Mmm...Do you have any idea what you do to me?"

She gasped softly as he nibbled on her neck, his arms caging her. Feeling him against her stomach despite the way he was leaning, "I-I have...a few...Ngh! Ideas!" Unable to stop the whine that bubbled out of her, he nipped at her breasts lightly, teasingly. But it was enough to drive her crazy! Trembling hands lifting to grip at his head and the back of his neck, "John...Ah! Please..." What was she even asking for? Luella couldn't remember anymore, which normally would have been terrifying, but right then she didn't rightly care. The ghoul chuckled softly, his tongue darting out to lap at the abused little nipple he had been ravishing affectionately. Straightening up to capture her lips in a heated kiss, his fingers slipping between them to undo her jeans.

The raven's lips parted easily, hazy blue eyes staring into softly glowing black, the barest hint of gray in their depths. Somewhere in the back of her mind she made a note to ask him about that later.

This time he remembered to keep breathing, fumbling only a little to remove her pants. It had been _awhile_ since he had done anything like this, there wasn't exactly a lot of people who would willingly have sex with one of his kind, not that he had really cared up till then. Usually he was high or pretty drunk doing this and it was generally with another ghoul who just mutually wanted a little something and they never spoke again.

This, with her, was completely different. This wasn't going to be some quick little one-nighter. This was real. Raw. This meant something! And he was going to savor every second of it, from then until they were both rotting.

Carefully, he lifted her up, holding her against him. Not once breaking their passionate kiss, that was of course till he attempted to climb in the tub and almost fell, nearly dropping her in the process. The raven clung to him tightly, heart racing for an entirely new reason, kicking herself mentally as she remembered what she had been planning before he distracted her. "John! Y-your in no shape for this, we should really take it easy!"

The ghoul groaned a little, settling her on the edge of the bathtub, "I don't wanna..." He mumbled childishly, sitting down beside her. But she was up the next second, uncertain of herself, yet determined as she pushed him gently into the tub. "Too bad...w-we can do all this later, after you've had sleep." She ignored the tired sigh that slipped passed his thin lips, picking up the soap and a rag from a little table near by, moving to kneel beside porcelain. "At least get in here with me...?" Luella was surprised to hear him begging, seeing the pouting look he gave her, like a kicked puppy. "John...if I get in there you won't relax..."

A sigh left her, unable to ignore the look her gave her, she hung her head. "Alright." Carefully she slipped into the warm water, humming quietly at how good it felt. It had been a long time since she enjoyed a bath. Showers really weren't as nice. "There. See. I'm relaxed." John popped off after a moment, leaning back against the tarnished metal, one hand on the rim, but the other was playing gently with her side. Running little feather touches over her skin. None the less he did seem to be calmer, his dark eyes fluttering a little as he lay his head back and just tried to enjoy it.

The raven smiled a little, almost forgetting again what she wanted, lost for a moment watching him. Breath slow a few minutes, she reached out, running the rag over his skin. Trying to focus on cleaning off the last weeks worth of grime, all the while admiring the texture of the scars littering his ruined skin, committing to memory every bit she could see and feel. It was quiet awhile before she realized her was asleep, his hand on her side having stilled some time ago. A little amused noise left her as she finished cleaning as far down as she dared, before climbing from the water, drying off and searching for something cleaner to wear. Sadly she didn't find anything in the room and grimaced, looking toward the door, no one was supposed to be in the state house.

But did she dare? Glancing back at John, her eyes traveled to where he had been standing earlier, spotting his coat in a chair. It was better than nothing and she highly doubted he would mind, come to think of it he would likely get a rise out of the idea of her wearing it with nothing underneath. Blushing a little at the thought, she slipped it on and pulled it closed around her, glad it covered nearly all of her. Good thing she was small.

Quickly, she went up to her room in the attic, fishing out some spare clothes she always kept put away. Stuff she had nicked off corpses or bought off Daisy. Nothing fancy, but all of it was clean at least. Sadly she didn't exactly have a lot of undergarments, in fact the ones downstairs were her only pair. It felt weird buying those things used, clean or not...So against her better judgement, she slipped on the pair of ripped shorts she found and brown sweater, feeling maybe more than a little exposed since the shorts were barely thigh length and the sweater wasn't long enough. But it was better than nothing. Bare foot, she walked into John's room, finding him something fresh and bringing it to the bathroom.

The raven froze in the doorway, caught off guard by the sight before her. John was still sitting in the tub, but he was awake now, knees pulled up against his ruined chest. Luella recognized the signs, seeing the way his shoulders shook softly, the tiny, chocked noise that bounced off the cooling water. She had never seen him like that. Looking so _broken_...

"John?" He sucked in a sharp noise, black eyes focusing in on her, so open and raw. He need not tell her for her to know. To see the feelings in their dark depths. The raven knew them all to well. He had thought she had abandoned him. Like that night he had left her to sleep alone. Swallowing the thickness that welled in her throat, she sat the clothes down, going straight to him and wrapping him in a hug. Not caring if she got wet all over again. The action must have startled him or perhaps he still was trying to process her presence at all, because he hesitantly reached up to hug her back. "I was just getting clothes. I'm sorry..."

He relaxed slightly, laying his head in the crook of her shoulder, "Its....fine...just a bad dream." The ghoul rasped, trying to reign in his emotions, feeling very not like himself. Maybe he had spent too much time in her head? "Want to tell me...?" He heard her ask, but shook his head, "Not really..."

Luella nodded, leaning back a bit and smiling calmly, "Come on...I think your just over tired. B-but if you change your mind and want to talk I'm here, okay?" John took a deep breath and nodded, letting her go so she could retrieve his clothes for him. "Sure thing darlin'..." The mayor stood from the water, stretching a bit, unashamed as she turned to look at him. In fact he smirked devilishly when she turned so red at the sight, hesitating in her trek across the room. Blue eyes shot up to meet black, worrying her lip a bit as she passed him the clothes. "I-I didn't know what to bring so...Ah, I'll get everything washed later...."

"What's the matter love? Ghoul got your tongue?" He teased, unable to stop himself, stepping out onto to the aged wood floor. Leaning into the kiss her, but a small growl erupted from both their stomachs...He couldn't help laughing and the sound must have been infectious as she burst into it herself.

"I'll make something for us to eat, get dressed." She said when she could breath enough to talk, pecking him on the cheek and walking away. His eyes softened as he watched her go, thinking of that nasty nightmare that had woken him so rudely. The dream had mirrored one of Luella's memories, in fact it had started with them in that lovely little sunny home in Sanctuary. But then shit sort of went south and he found himself in that vault, only able to watch as she was locked into one of those cryopods. Luella had suffocated as he tried to open the damned thing. The worst part about it was how real it felt.

Taking a steadying breath, he forced the memory of it away, getting dressed quickly. At least she had picked something decent, road leathers looked far better than a white t and jeans on him. It wasn't hard finding her, trying to cook a meal on an old hot plate that only worked part of the time, cursing the bit of hardware viciously when she nearly burnt herself. A chuckle alerted her of his presence as she blushed in embarrassment and looked over her shoulder at him, long black hair still damp and laying in a twist over her shoulder. "Might take me a bit, this thing is picky."

"Yeah...that's one reason I don't use it." He replied, sitting on the couch and lifting a Jet inhaler to his lips, sucking it in with a relieved breath. He had been sober for the better part of three days, maybe that's what was wrong with him? "Oh, then how do you cook anything?" She asked, pouting a little as she gave up the effort with the piece of crap, turning to look at him with her arms crossed. 'She looks cute like that...' John thought, smiling like the cat who caught the canary, "I go down to the Rail and get something from Charlie...Chaps got a way with food."

Luella sighed in annoyance, she honestly hadn't wanted to leave the State House yet. No doubt people would have a million questions for them. A thought occurred to her suddenly, frowning deepening, "What...what did you guys do with Fluffy?"

John was surprised more by the look she gave him than by the question, like she thought he was going to tell her that thing was dead, "He's back in Sanctuary, safe and sound with Mama Murphey. Relax Sunshine." And she did, smiling a bit, "Just curious. How's cram and melon sound?"

"Terrible..." The mayor grimaced, shuddering at the very thought, he hated the taste of Cram. It was disgusting. Any caned meat was gross in his opinion. Only good meat was fresh and from a source one could recognize. Luella handed him the melon and a knife, curling herself beside him on the couch with the can of Cram and a fork. Popping open the lid, she wrinkled her nose a bit, not exactly fond of the stuff either. But in this world it was eat or starve and sometimes you ate pretty terrible two-hundred year old meat...

Hancock grabbed her wrist before she got the fork halfway to her lips, "Please don't. I'd like to kiss you again at some point." He told her, taking the fork and can away and setting them on the coffee table, "Here, there's plenty of melon for us both." Slicing her off a portion and handing it over, he took a bite of the semi-sweet fruit, humming a little at the pleased feeling in his stomach. He hadn't realized how hungry he really was till now.

The raven giggled a little, taking a bite herself, "Such a gentlemen, keeping a lady from something so awful. I'd be pretty upset if you didn't want to kiss me for awhile." She said in a teasing tone, but the truth was it would have really upset her, she liked kissing him. Hell she loved everything to do with and about him. "Oh, ya know. I'm just the epitome of gentlemanly." They both laughed at that, eating the melon and chattering animatedly about what had happened in Sanctuary while she was asleep. Apparently Preston had been pretty upset about the whole thing and even more so that Fluffy had been left there, under the care of a doped out old woman. Everyone else, while concerned mildly, had let it go as soon as Preston's mouth opened. It was pretty obvious at this point he had lost everyone's favor.

John tossed the inedible part of the melon onto the coffee table, leaning back on the couch and relaxing, letting out a long breath. "Y'know its moments like this that I know all that karma stuff is bull." He mumbled, peaking the raven's interest as she set her left overs down, curling into his side. "Oh, yeah? Why?"

"Cause no one like me should be this lucky..." The ghoulish man smiled, arms wrapped tightly around the girls small shoulders, pulling her with him so they were laying across the old couch with her partly on top of him. Comfortable. He heard her chuckle softly, laying her head on his chest, "I was thinking something along those lines...just the other way around."

"Love, trust me. I've done a lot of terrible shit in my life. You? You deserve happiness. Its about time karma gave you a fucking house call." Again she laughed, shaking softly against his side, fingers curling a little into his shirt. The amused sound petering off into a small, chocked sob. John bit the inside of his cheek, cursing himself, "H-Hey...Sorry. I didn't mean to-"

"No...no. Its not...you..." She got out, reaching up to roughly wipe the moister from her face, swallowing thickly against the not so sudden fear and anguish clawing at her insides. "I just...don't want to lose you...like I've lost everything else in my life..." Luella took in a ragged breath, fighting her emotions as best to could to keep her voice even, "This is...the happiest I've been in a very long time John. And...every fucking time I find happiness its been ripped out from under me in some form or other. I'm terrified."

Hancock frowned deeply, having seen first hand her memories, he could understand how she felt. He wanted to promise her that nothing would tear them apart. Nothing would take her happiness again. But that would be a lie. The Commonwealth was a cruel, harsh place. There were hundreds of things that could tear them up. "I swear...on my last breath, I'll fight to keep you happy Luella. No matter what, if I can make it happen I will." It wasn't long before they fell into sleep like that, held close in each others arms. 

* * *

 

"So what's the plan?" Nick asked, sitting on the opposite couch from Hancock and Luella early the next morning. The raven sat a respectable distance from the ghoulish mayor, obviously trying to not make anyone in the room uncomfortable. Maybe? It was hard to tell. John was fingering an inhaler of Jet, humming softly, wondering himself what the plan was here. "I...I guess we track down Kellog again...He's the only one who might have answers." The mayor suggested off-handily, huffing his Jet with a deep inhale.

The raven next to him nodded slowly, "Right...but how? I really doubt Dogmeat will be able to track him again, assuming he's not hold up in the Institute itself." She pointed out, rolling an unlit cigarette between her hands, just for something to do. Chems she could handle, but she had never been one for smoking, oddly enough. "Its worth a shot. I held on to one of the cigar's we used before, just in case. But since I didn't know where your dog goes I couldn't do it myself."

"Then I guess we head back to Sanctuary. We can take Dogmeat back to Fort Hagen and maybe we'll get lucky?" The raven tried to sound more hopeful than she actually felt, getting to her feet and leaving the room, no doubt to pack. Leaving the ghoul and synth in relative silence awhile. "So...you seal the deal yet?" Nick asked out of the blue, confusion the younger man for a moment. John's face heated up instantly when he realized what the detective meant, smirking a bit, not ashamed at all. "Nearly. She told me no at the last minute cause she was worried I was over doing it."

The synth chuckled, "Sounds like something she would do." Lighting a smoke, "Just take it slow, you hear me? She's in a bad place right now, no need to stress her out."

"Don't intend to." Hancock sighed a little, sinking back in the couch, wondering what the future was going to look like. Would Mama's vision ring true? Or was this all doomed to burn?


	12. The Slog

It rained all the way to Sanctuary. Dreary and damp, Nick, Hancock, and Luella arrived at the settlement far worse for ware. Turned out Nick wasn't completely waterproof and the rain had shorted his circuts a bit, the result of which was him randomly bursting into hysterical amounts of laughter or shooting at shit that wasn't there. Their ghoul companion couldn't help thinking it reminded him of when he got so fucking shit faced high that he didn't know his ass from a deathclaws, which he voiced. Nick was not amused. But the raven haired girl walking behind him nearly fell down laughing herself, at least until they got ambushed by bloatfly's.

Needless to say they all needed a good wash when they reached the front door of Luella's home, the raven hesitating to enter the house now, unlike before. John had a feeling he knew why, didn't need to ask to guess at that one. "You wanna go elsewhere? Sure one of your friends here would be more than happy to let us bunk with 'em." The ghoul offered, but the raven girl shook her head after a moment, wiping uselessly at the rain on her face, "No. I just...it feels strange being here now. Y'know? Since I remember...how it was."

Inside Codsworth was already fussing about the kitchen attempting to make something warm for them to eat and drink, animatedly telling them about a recent raider attack that had ended in victory thanks to Fluffy. Appearently the raiders had run in, taken a good look at the glowing redish deathclaw and turned tail.

Nick had collapsed into a kitchen chair, looking tired despite that being impossible. "Gonna recover okay? Don't supposed we need to hang you out to dry?" Luella said teasingly as she walked toward the hallway, fully intending on at least changing out of her nasty wet clothes if nothing else. She didn't see the dirty look the detective gave her, but she did hear the sarcastic laughter he gave off, "Very funny kid." He said dryly, leaning on his elbows on the table top, watching the Mr. Handy moving about.

Hancock followed his little bird, for a lot more reasons than the urge to change, smirking a little as he snuck up behind her. Wrapping his arms firmly around her waist and pulling her into him, burying his none existant nose in her hair, breathing slow and long, like he was inhaling some sweet chems. The movement must have startled her, because the raven jerked a little, getting very tense. The ghoul frowned a little, wondering if it was him that caused it or something else. "You...gonna be okay love? Want me to leave you alone?" John didn't want to of course, he wanted to be close to her, more than anything. Craved her presence worse than he had ever even craved Jet. A fact that should have unsettled him, but didn't.

Luella hummed softly, laying her head back so it rested on his shoulder, her hazy blue eyes looking up at the ceiling. "Eventually...And I don't want you to leave me alone John. I'm just...trying to adjust to all this. To the memories...the emotions...its...its really..." She sighed heavily, closing her eyes, almost hearing Shaun's gentle coos down the hall. But she knew better, knew he wasn't going to be there. Him...or Nate.

Thinking of Nate...remembering him. Made things feel more complicated. The raven was mentally fighting herself, her heart torn up over the loss as if it was as fresh as yesterday. The love she had felt for him and the gratitude she knew would always be there. And then she was fighting with her feelings for the man holding her so gently now. Luella loved John, maybe more than Nate, but it felt so strange. She felt as if she should be guilty for moving on like this. But she somehow didn't. No, instead she wanted Nate to just...not vanish exactly, just stop prodding her thoughts like this. It was like a wound that wouldn't stop bleeding...

She wondered if she would ever really come to terms with his death. Taking a deep breath, she pushed the feelings, the thoughts of that long gone man into a box in her mind and locked it. Luella didn't need to linger on him. She could move forward without him. Look at everything she had already accomplished. She had a new future, a murky one, but one that included someone else. And it wasn't fair to that someone to linger on someone else.

John frowned a little, mulling over an idea that may help or make it worse, hesitating when he spoke next. "I have some something in my stash that might help. If ya want to give it a try..." He offered, stepping back a little when she straightened, turning those addictive eyes to him, the smallest smile on her lips. "Heh, need to get out of my head love. I was just thinking of breaking into my own stash. Got something in the closet I've been saving." She replied, pointing to the hall closet across from the bathroom, the one he had noticed before was stocked to the gills with chems and other items. This made him smirk a bit, they really were a lot alike. "Really now? Hm, show me yours and I'll show you mine?" There was a double meaning there, he meant for there to be, hoping for and receiving a lovely red on her cheeks as she nodded and headed into the crowded closet.

The ghoulish man went toward the bedroom, unshouldering his bag and laying it on the clean sheets, digging through till he found the silver syringe he was looking for. About the same time Luella entered the room carrying one of her own. They each looked at what the other held, both surprised and then laughing together, far too much alike.

"Calmex?" John asked, putting his bag on the floor next to the dresser, "Calmex. Can't believe we were thinking the same thing." The raven replied, still giggling a bit as she sat on the neatly made bed. Codsworth really did well keeping the house clean, considering the holes in the walls and ceiling. She rolled up her sleeve, "Been awhile since I used anything this strong...not counting that stuff you gave me and Mama Murphy of course."

The good mayor sat down beside her, deciding it was safe enough to join her in this, wasn't like they were anywhere dangerous. "Yeah, well I don't make that shit often. So don't expect to get any again. I don't even take it myself unless I really need to clear the shit in my head awhile. That and there's a lot of guns aimed at my head. Can't take something like that without someone around to watch my back, y'know?"

Luella hummed softly, "Yeah? I can get that..." The raven pushed the needle into her arm, injecting the lavender colored liquid with a slow exhale of breath. Hazy blue eyes staring at feint scars on her skin, ones even John hadn't noticed till then. Given how tired he had been the other day, it was  no wonder. Likely the biggest reason he had noticed the ones littering her back were because they were still so dark in color. But still, it was somewhat unnerving to see so many. He knew she was a user in the past, her memories had made that clear, and she had used with him before. But that was usually Jet with him...nothing real strong. Those scars...they spoke of something truly heavy. Not just the drug use, but the fact that she had tried more than once to kill herself. A fact that was silently screaming at him how unstable she was. Wordlessly reminding him of all the shit he himself had tried to forget or run from. All those regrets.

Setting his own, now empty, syringe aside. He starred at his own skin, the ruined, scared mess that was left of what he used to be. The more he stared at it, the more he saw who he had been, years ago. The lively blonde who loved to party, didn't care much for the world and took his life for granted.

"Nate would be so pissed if he saw me right now." The words nearly made him jump, John forgetting a moment, in the chem haze, that Luella was there. Dark eyes shifting to look at the lovely raven sitting next to him, lightly drawing patterns with the blood that had leaked from the injection sight. "He really hated when I got high. Made me quiet cold not long after we started living together, was a fucking nightmare. Can you believe I sent him to the hospital once? The withdrawals got so nasty I just couldn't take it...got ahold of a bad batch of Psycho. He came home from work and started fighting with me about it...I don't remember much about it...just the yelling...broken glass from the coffee table."

"Damn...took down a guy twice your size..." Hancock mumbled in shock, thinking of Fin's little buddies that she had ripped open like an angry deathclaw, she had taken Psycho then too. He knew the stuff gave you a strength boost, but not that much, not normally. He wondered what it was about her that made it work so well. Luella layed back on the bed, looking up at the ceiling, arms resting on her stomach. Her eyes were haunting, no longer that lovely color he couldn't get enough of. Now they just made him look away, traveling to the framed photos on the dresser. "I stayed with him in the hospital till he was well enough to leave...I was so guilty about it though. I just...felt like I was dangerous to him, to everyone. That was the second time I can remember trying to kill myself..."

Hancock wasn't sure getting high had been a good idea after all, talking about all this, it was more than a little unsettling. And the fact he was high only made the feeling in his chest twice as vivid and nine times as stifling. This had to be the first time he wished he was sober. "I was hoping that rad-drug would kill me..." He blurted out thoughtlessly, not looking at anything imparticular, dark eyes down cast. Soft fingers laced with his after a moment, his skin tingling where hers met with it, warm against cold. Strange, but comforting. "I hated who I was, wanted to just erase myself. The failure I was. My parents would have been so disappointed in me...fuck they were when I was born. One kid was hard enough to take care of...and when I came along? I remember Guy telling me I was an accident...I don't think he was being mean or nothing. Just trying to make me understand...but it hurt knowing they never wanted me in the first place."

"Fuck..." The ghoul sucked in a sharp breath, feeling like he couldn't breath for a moment, "Guy was the only one I think that ever really gave a shit about me...taught me how to survive. It was after our parents were killed by raiders that he took me to Diamond City. Thought we could start a new life there, y'know. He worked night and day, took any job he could find just to pay for us a place of our own. I was so useless and scrawny, no one would hire me for a fucking thing. 'Cept this one lady who live on the field, real nice ghoul, I don't even remember her name. Something that sounded like a plant...? I wish I knew what happened to her..."

Luella just stared at the ceiling, watching it swim in her vision, imaging John as a boy. Well trying to, but it was hard when she had no clue what he looked like then. She couldn't even really imagine that fat little asshole McDonough either as anything but that. Hancock must have really looked up to him then. She could understand why he had been so angry now about the things Guy had done when he got older. "She disappeared when Guy became Mayor...her house was abandoned. I figure the ruins got her, like so many of the others. I don't think I'll ever forgive Guy for hurting those ghouls...they were good people and he sent them to their deaths."

It was silent a long time, the two them just setting their, hands held tight. The raven sighed softly, almost wanting to go to sleep, but she was half afraid to. "I remember the first settlement I helped, after meeting Preston. A nice little couple who had started a farm on the cliffs east of here...I don't know if it helps...but they pointed me to a place called the Slog. Its a little settlement farther to the east, along the river near the old Parson's Asylum. The whole farms run by ghouls, really nice people. First ones I think I met in fact. I think one of them mentioned they used to live in Diamond City. Maybe you know them?"

Hancock mulled over this information, slowly through the haze, taking long slow breaths. Still felt like he was chocking, "Dunno...Maybe..." He looked down at their hands between them, a small smile pulling at his lips, running his thumb in smooth circles over her pale skin. "Think we could...go there sometime?"

"How about tomorrow?"

"What about Kellog?" He asked, looking up at her face, knowing full well she was in no hurry to face him again. But he also knew she wanted to try and find Shaun. It was a long shot, trying to get into the Institute. Not to mention dangerous, not that it was going to deter him from following her into the belly of the beast. Pulling himself from that thought line, realizing he was getting himself distracted, he saw her shake her head. "I'll find him. Not like Shaun's going anywhere, right? Besides, I told those ghouls I would visit sometime, they wanted to open some trade routes and I need to check into how that's going. Part of the neglected duties of being General."

John chuckled a little, almost bitterly. He knew it was sort of selfish, but he was almost glad she wanted to detour a bit. He was interested to meet these ghouls who had started a farm, maybe they would like to trade goods with Goodneighbor?

* * *

 

"Explain to me again where you two are going and what it has to do with finding a mercenary?" Nick asked, standing in the doorway of Luella's house as she and Hancock prepared to leave, John giving some chems to Mama Murphy and not listening. "Not a thing Nick. I have to run an errand to a settlement to the west that I've neglected to check in on. We'll be back in a few days, though, promise."

"You take care of her kid, don't let her get too distracted." Mama was telling John, who smiled in that easy way his, "No worries, got nothing to worry about with me covering her. You take it easy on those, yeah?" The old woman nodded, tucking the stuff away in her pocket. Luella was petting Fluffy on his now huge snout, grinning brightly at the over sized monster. "You be good for Mama and everyone okay? Chase off those raiders if they come back." She told him as he purred into her small hands, flicking his tongue out to lick her arm. A giggle erupted from her as she stepped back, petting Dogmeat who had whimpered, telling him something similar. Waving good bye to everyone, they headed off.

The Slog was at least a day's journey, but they could get there by nightfall, assuming they didn't have a lot of interruptions. And much of the walk was quiet, in fact it was well after lunch before either of them spoke and it came in the form of Luella's curiosity getting the better of her. "So...you looked up to him as a kid, huh?"

John didn't need to ask who, but he did find it a surprise she remembered so much of last night with such clarity. Took a heavy user to have that much clarity, a true sign she was no stranger to the hard shit. "Yeah...I did, I guess. Why?" She didn't answer him at first, seeming to think hard about her choice of words, "I understand now...why your so angry at him. But...Well I hope someday you can talk to him again. That something can be mended...I never had much family to speak of so, well, I know family is important. I remember Nate's family, they were all real close till he met me. His mother hated my guts, dad too, said I was nothing but trash. They fought about it and Nate was so persistent about me being a good person that he stopped talking to them for months...Till his sister and dad showed up on our doorstep." She was quiet a moment, "His mom died in a wreck. He never got to tell her good bye or that he loved her or he was sorry. Nate was so broken up about it. But his dad apologized about the fighting, tried getting to know me, make up for it all. He never said it allowed, but I think Nate blamed me for losing his mother."

The ghoul glared ahead, trying to imagine talking to Guy now, after all this time. But the wounds in his heart were still so fresh, he doubted it would ever happen, specially now. Guy wouldn't give him the time of day if he saw he was ghoul now, probably wouldn't even believe it was him. "Yeah...maybe one day." He said, not wanting her to worry about it, smiling a little. It seemed to work, she let it go at least. The rest of the walk was filled with small conversation, about the weather or John bitching about the sun being too fucking bright. It was a couple hours after night fell that the raven lead John up the small hill to what looked to have once been a public pool.

The lights in and around the pool lit dimly the Tarberry's in the water, glimmering softly when the wind rippled across the surface, "Well, ain't that clever..." The mayor mumbled, wandering to the edge to look in with curious dark eyes, not notice the figure coming out of the old pool house with a gun. Till Luella stepped between him and it, "Woah, friendly!" She said brightly, smiling calmly as the man lowered the weapon, bloodshot brown eyes glittering a little. "Well, ain't you a sight for sore eyes! General Bishop, been awhile since you came out our way, been busy?"

"A little, how have you been Jones? Trading going well I hope." The ghoul shrugged a bit, "So so, those other settlements are still pretty wary of us. Think you could try talkin' to 'em?" The raven nodded, "Sure thing. If its alright, my friend and I wanted to stick around awhile. I'd like to talk to Wiseman in the morning." The man nodded, motioning them into the pool house.

"Not often we see new faces around here. Be happy to have the help too if your both willing?"

"Of course. It'll be a nice change of pace."

Jones smiled, stopping near the door, "You know where the spare bed is General and your friends welcome to the couch if he wants. See you in the morning!" With that he went back outside, most likely on guard duty. John was trying to remember if he knew him or not, but the name wasn't familiar. He looked over when he felt soft fingers taking his hand, fond smile pulling at his lips, "So I'm sleeping on the couch huh?"

The raven shook her head, "Only if you want to..." She replied, lightly playing her free fingers over the skin of his that she had captured, looking a little distracted. "Something on your mind Sunshine?" Luella nibbled her lower lip, hazy eyes darkening a little, "I was just...wondering where you and I stand. Is everything okay, between us?"

The question surprised him, made him wonder where it had even come from. "Luella...Of course it is. I've got you. Everything else is just details and drug parafnalia." She laughed a little at that, smiling brightly as she met his dark eyes at last, blushing a small amount. "Heh, good."

* * *

 

The next morning the two awoke early, well John did, woken by soft murmurs of people talking close by. His black eyes opened slowly to the thankfully dim sunlight that filtered in through a tiny window near by in the concrete walls, looking down to see Luella curled up tightly with her face all but buried in his chest, looking far more comfortable than any normal person should with a ghoul.

"Whoops, he woke up!" Someone hissed, a set of feet scuttling off, the noise startling him as he looked around to see what was happening. He saw a dark haired female ghoul, hand over her mouth as she clearly stifled a laugh, "Sorry, you two just looked so cute!" She said in a quiet voice as Hancock observed her with a raised brow. She was probably a little taller than Luella, black hair cut short in an old fashioned way, wearing a dirty t-shirt and jeans. She carried herself like a model though, like the fact she was a ghoul was lost on her.

The good mayor carefully untangled himself from his beloved Sunshine, getting to his feet, feeling more than a little weird people had been watching them sleep. "Kinda creeped out over here lady. Got a reason for watching us?" He said, pulling his boots on as she walked out of the room, curling her finger to tell him to follow. Curious enough, he did so, walking out into the sunlight with her. Lighting a cigarette as he waited for an answer, "Not really. We don't get a lot of visitors and the last time Bishop was her she was alone. Just glad to see she found someone is all, its adorable! And someone so handsome too!"

John smirked a little, "Yeah, feel like I got the King of the Zombie's sort of look." He joked, blowing out a cloud of stale smoke, "Name's Hancock." He held out a hand to her, which she shook, "Pleasure. I'm Deirdre. Welp, gotta get to work. You want to lend a hand you just talk to Wiseman, sure he can put you to work."

He watched her walk away, going to join several other ghouls in the field of plants they were tending. Leaning back against the wall, he watched them a bit as he smoked, thinking how nice this place was. Glad to see so many ghouls making a decent go of it. Stomping out his used up butt, he wondered which one was Wiseman, unable to help thinking the name was familiar. Walking out into the field, hands in his pockets, he took a closer, discrete look, at the ghouls. Dark eyes settling on a pale ghoul wearing a white shirt and jeans, smiling a little when he realized he did in fact know him and the name putting itself to a face.

"Wiseman, right?"

The pale ghoul looked up, smiling warmly as he got to his feet from where he had been plucking up weeds, dusting off his hands. "That's right. You must be our new comer that showed up with Bishop last night. It's nice to see a new face." They shook hands, John unable to keep from smiling himself. "So, Deirdre said I should talk to you about helping out?"

"Sure, you can help the others in the Tarberry bog, their short handed today!" Wiseman told him, pointing him to the pool, peoples shoes sitting around the edge. "Okay..."

Walking to the edge of the concrete, he sighed a little, unable to see the ghouls already in the water thanks to the glare from the sun off the surface. Taking off his shoes and coat, he rolled up his pant legs and sleeves, walking down the steps and into the surprisingly clear water. Finding the closest person, "So how can I help?" Not certain what they were even doing, the person, a woman by her voice, laughed softly. "Harvesting. Just fish around for the berries that have come off the vines, they sink to the bottom some times see? Then put 'em in the buckets floating around....ah here's one!"

She pushed one toward him, grabbing it so it stopped between them, before leaning over to look for their harvest. From where he stood now his shadow was cast over her, blocking the glare enough to see the head of grey hair pulled into a bun. She wore a dingy blue outfit, humming a tune that vaguely sounded like _'Uranium Fever'._ They worked like this for hours, picking berries till their hands were starting to hurt and Hancock really got into it, finding he sort of liked the work. It really was a nice change of pace. In fact he got so into it he started humming that ridiculous song too and before long he found himself singing along to it with the other ghoul, laughing a bit. He couldn't remember the last time he had had that much fun.

"Hehe, I didn't know you could sing." A familiar voice made him straighten up, seeing Luella standing at the edge of the water, looking well rested. A relief in his opinion, "Didn't I tell ya? I used to take Mag's place on her sick days!" He was kidding of course, sloshing across the bog to the waters edge, standing almost the same height as the raven thanks to the concrete pools soft slop. Leaning in to give her a soft kiss, "Feeling better, Sunshine?" He asked as he pulled away, wiping the sweat from his face with the back of his arm. "Didn't know I was so tired. Glad to see your making friends."

"Yeah, me too. I recognized at least one person, can you believe it! Here I thought the ruins had swallowed up everyone from Diamond City!" He exclaimed, someone coming up near him in the water, "Your from Diamond City?" A women's voice asked, making him turn. The sun was at a lower angle, so the glare was gone. He could see her face now and blinked in surprise, realizing the ghoul he had been singing with was someone he knew, her name popping to the surface as if he had never forgotten it. "Holly?" The word held a strangled noise to it, disbelief in his voice and features. "Yeah? What is it? Ya look like you've seen a ghost." She replied, looking confused, blinking pale blue eyes.

Luella smiled a little, taking John's hand, giving him an encouraging squeeze. Swallowing his fear, he looked to Holly again, "Its me! John...John McDonough...I-I used to do odd jobs for you when you lived in Diamond City!" He explained, fighting the shaking he could feel in his limbs as he waited to see how she was going to react. No one from...before...aside from Nick and Ellie knew he had become a ghoul.

Holly thought about it a moment, blinking a little, recognition and then shock crossing her face. "Ah! Johnny! But...when did you? Jesus, you poor kid, ending up a ghoul. Get kicked out too?" She sounded so sad about it, frowning like she might want to cry. John slowly sank to sit on the dry part of the concrete, needing to sit down, not wanting to talk about this, but the words just spilled out. "I chose to become a ghoul Holly. I...I felt like it was my fault I couldn't help any of the folks my own brother kicked out! And I didn't get kicked out...Been living in Goodneighbor for years now...." His voice trailed off and got quiet, couldn't bring himself to keep talking, especially with how disappointed Holly looked right then.

The raven beside him frowned a little, putting a hand on his back, "He's the mayor there now! Turned the whole town around for the better!" She told Holly proudly, smiling wide at the surprised ghoul woman, "Its a refuge now, for anyone who can't find a place to go. He even took me when I needed the help."

"That right? Well..." Holly looked at John, smiled a bit, hands on her hips. "Can't say I'm happy you chose to become a ghoul. But...I'm proud your still trying to help people. You always did have a good heart John. Don't you ever give up on people okay? And stop blaming yourself for Guy, that boy...someday he'll realize what he's done is wrong and pay for it himself, so don't eat yourself up over his mistakes." She patted the ghoulish mayor on the shoulder firmly, before walking out of the pool. "'Bout time to make dinner, why not give me a hand kiddo?!"

Hancock was surprised, but glad Holly wasn't as disappointed in him as he had thought. As a kid he had always sort of seen her as a second mother, since his own had been far from affectionate. But Holly had always treated him like her own. Getting to his feet, he nodded, "Sure thing!" He said, watching her go, before looking to the raven beside him. Pulling her into a firm hug, mumbling a thank you into her hair. "Don't mention it. Heh, go on. I need to talk to Wiseman."

Nodding, they separated with a quick kiss. Luella shook her head a little, smiling warmly, glad this trip had worked out like she wanted. Hopefully now John wouldn't eat himself up over the past anymore. The other day, when they had gotten so high and he had told her what he had? Had left her worried for him, afraid he might get reckless thinking about those things.

Luella stopped Wiseman as he was heading into the pool house, "Hey, I heard you were having trouble with the trading still. I might have some ideas!"

* * *

 

That night the raven sat on the cracked concrete next to the pool, gazing up at the stars. Near by John was catching up with the ghouls of the Slog that had come from Diamond City all those years ago, looking so much happier than she ever remembered. And it made her wonder. Would he end up wanting to stay there? Permanently? Not that she didn't like the idea, in fact she would have been more than happy to live there too, if he wanted that. But...an image of Shaun, the tiny, frail little infant, passed through her mind.

Luella jerked a little at the thought, feeling like someone had shot her in the heart at point blank range. It left her torn. On the one hand she wanted to stay with John, where ever that might be. But on the other she wanted to find her son, see to it he was safe and happy. It would be dangerous, not just because of Kellog. But because of the Institute's involvement. They weren't known to leave people that got involved with them alive. Another image passed through her mind, far worse was the feeling it brought along with it.

John. Dead at her feet, surrounded by synths, the blood on her own hands.

It left her shaken, tears springing to her eyes at once. She sucked in a thin sound, curling her fingers into fists, suddenly glad she was alone out there. The raven wouldn't be able to live with herself if he died because of her. Something warm was layed on her shoulders, making her jump nearly a foot, blue eyes whirling around to see someone sitting beside her. "You were shaking, thought you might be co-You alright Sunshine?"

The raven jerked a little, reaching up to feel the dampness on her face, "Wha-? Y-yeah...just thinking about Shaun...I-I  was wondering if he was really okay." She replied, it was only partly a lie, close enough to the truth for him to believe her at least. Wiping the moisture from her face, she sniffed a bit, willing the fear and sorrow away into that box where she kept Nate's memory. Hancock frowned, rubbing her back a little, having put his coat on her a moment before. "We're gonna find him, one way or another. Don't you worry."

He pulled an inhaler from his pocket, taking a huff, before offering it to her. "Thanks..." Luella mumbled, taking a quick hit, before giving it back. Grateful for the calming feeling the chem left over her, looking back up at the stars, "You...you don't have to go with me."

John blinked, surprised but the words, "What?" Confused, he tried to read the pained expression that crossed her face, trying to figure out what was going on in that mess up stairs. "To find Shaun. Its....its going to be dangerous. I imagine the only reason I'm not dead yet is because they think I already am. And I...I don't want you ending up a target because your involved with me."

Hancock grit his teeth, a boiling anger welling in his gut, but he didn't really get why. Wasn't like she was asking him to leave. She was just worried about him. He could and did get that. But he wasn't about to let her face this shit alone, not after everything they had been through now. "Love, I got a lot of targets on my back. One more ain't gonna make a difference. Besides, I'm not running away anymore. Not from them or you." He took her hand, firmly holding onto her as he looked into those eyes he loved, "Your stuck with this ugly mug."

Luella let out a little laugh, half chocked on a sob, shaking her head. "John...I-I...I wouldn't be able....t-to...live with myself if you died cause of me." She confessed, ducking her head, long strands of black hiding her face from him. Not for long, as he reached up, turning her to look at him again. Smiling reassuringly, "Then I'm just gonna have to be real damned careful, huh?"

"Hmeh, I guess so." She tried to smile, as he was reaching up to wipe away the fresh tears. Despite the reassurance, she was still terrified of losing him. Luella had never been a strong person emotionally, never would be no doubt, and more than once she had been driven past the breaking point. Losing John would end her and there would be no one left to stop her. There was nothing left to lose but each other.


	13. Getting Closer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> NSFW!!!

Luella and Hancock were pleasantly surprised to find Mama Murphy waiting for them at the mouth of the bridge that lead into Sanctuary, leaning on a makeshift cane  with Fluffy sitting patiently beside her. She reached out and pet the excited deathclaw with a soft smile, "Hey Mama, what's up? Hope you weren't waiting on us." The raven said, stopping for the old woman, who nodded with a grim expression that left the younger looking woman unnerved. "I had a vision kid, its important."

"Oh, really? Uhm...why don't we go up to my house and sit down, you can tell me there."

The four of them made their way to the residence, Codsworth and Nick neither one were there, so Luella assumed they might be at the makeshift bar down the street. "I'll get us a drink, is anyone hungry?" The raven suggested, avoiding the elephant in the room so to speak. "Kid...sit down. Ya can't keep avoiding everything." Mama told her, sitting on the couch herself, waiting patiently.

The general bit her lip and sighed, taking a seat in the old chair across from her, John taking up residence on the arm rest with a hand on her shoulder for a moment as a silent show of support. "So what did ya see?" The ghoul asked, pulling a leg up to lean on, curious of this apparently bad vision. At least he assumed it was bad by her expression. "I saw where you need to go. You were drowning in something, not water...but something radiant! And people were chanting, they can help you find what your looking for kid, but you have to be careful! Their dangerous and crazy!"

Luella looked confused, trying to make sense of what Mama was on about, "Uh...you hitting the chems too hard? That uh-that didn't make any sense to-"

"She's talking about the Glowing Sea." John interrupted with an annoyed groan, heaving a deep sigh, "You sure about this? I'm not too thrilled about the idea of talking to those rad sucking freaks for starters and second that place is deadly, even to _**my**_ kind."

Mama Murphy nodded solemnly, "Yup, what your looking for is in there."

The raven looked at the coffee table a moment, "What's...the Glowing Sea?" She asked at length, feeling Hancock slump a little beside her, sighing again. "Its the place where the most bombs fell during the war. Its like one giant ocean of rads, the creatures out there are lot more dangerous than anything we get here. And at the center, where the rads are the strongest is a group of nut jobs who call themselves the 'Children of Atom'. Their a bunch of freaks who literally worship radiation." He explained, "A few of them come to Goodneighbor once and awhile and try to convince people to follow them back. Their insane."

Luella mulled over the information, "Doesn't sound so bad. We can handle a few crazies." She said, feeling a little more high spirited now that they had a more solid lead, ready to go right then. But Hancock was a lot less thrilled, taking her arm, "Uh-uh. Not the crazies I'm worried about. You...You could end up looking like me or worse going out there. We're going to need something to combat the rads before we go waltzing into the crater."

"Would a hazmat suit work?" Luella asked after a moment of thought, looking up at the ghouls dark eyes. 

John blinked, letting her arm go, "Well...yeah. You have one?" He watched her stand and head into the hall closet, shuffle around in there a few minutes, before returning with the white and orange suit and a fish bowl looking helmet that went with it. "I got it from the vault when I left the last time, thought it might come in handy one day." He just stared at her a long time, frowning a little, "You should really be carrying that around." Hancock told her flatly, thinking back on the incident in Cambridge. That suit could have saved her a lot of suffering...Not to mention all the fucking stress.

She only laughed a bit, stuffing the bulky thing in her bag, "Not a chance. Besides, I think I can handle a few rads. Amari said my body could-"

"Up to a point." The ghoul interjected, "She also said she didn't know the extent was or what the side effects could be. So its still dangerous for you to be around large amounts of the stuff." Hancock pointed out, his dark eyes hard as he gave her a serious look. Luella shrugged, not really taking the danger to heart, something just said it would be okay. Or maybe she was just too excited. "Come on, if we head out now we can make at least some head way."

The ghoul rubbed his eyes, pinching the remaining bridge of his none-existent nose, "Darlin' the sea is at least four days south of here. Ain't no sense heading out now." She looked disappointed, standing there in the doorway, staring outside like someone had been dangling something unbearably tangible in front of her and ripped it away. The look in her eyes was a lot like it was when Kellog had told her Shaun was in the Institute. Feeling a little bad for busting her bubble, John got to his feet, walking over and closing the door. Gently taking her hands, "Sorry...its just...I'm worried about ya." He began, not caring that Mama was still in the room and listening, he doubted she would go around telling about his very obvious weakness for a certain raven haired general. "I nearly lost you in Cambridge...it wasn't pretty Sunshine. You were really sick...I know what Amari said, but I still can't help feelin' like you could get really sick again out there. I promise we'll go tomorrow...but you gotta promise me you'll wear that suit, okay?"

The raven let out a soft breath, looking up into those black eyes, so open and trusting right then. "Alright...I promise...and I'll try to be more careful." There was a hint of a smile on her lips, "I'm going to...go shower I guess." Luella walked away, down the hall and out of sight. Mama Murphy stood, walking out, "And I'm going home, have fun." She winked at Hancock, closing the door behind her, leaving him standing there. Defiantly a bad vision, he doubted he would ever understand Murphy's mental madness, but so far she seemed to honestly think her vision would come true. And it was their best lead. Either way he was not thrilled about it.

He groaned softly, leaning on the wall, he had never been out to the sea. But he had met those rad suckers before, bunch of crazies had tried more than once to get him to join them, they _loved_ ghouls. Saw them as the embodiment of their deity for some reason. He supposed the attention should have been nice, but those zealots really freaked him out.

Pushing the thought away, he listened to the water running in the bathroom through the thin walls, other thoughts coming to mind as he did. This also originated in the south, just a different sort of south. Smirking a little, he wondered if he could take advantage of them being alone, but no sooner did he turn down the hall than the front door opened. For the third time that night he let out a long groan of annoyance, heading back out into the living room to find Nick and Codsworth coming in.

"Thought you might be back." Nick said as a greeting, half burned cigarette between his fingers. "Welcome back Mayor Hancock! So good to see you sir! Where's mum?" John jerked his thumb toward the hall, going and plopping down on the couch glumly, "Shower." He said shortly, taking a hit of his Jet inhaler, frowning and looking at it. Empty. Great. This day could not get worse....

* * *

 

Luella took her time in the bathroom, letting the luke warm water unravel her nerves a little. Didn't work as well as the chems, but it was okay. At least her hair was cleaner. Standing in front of the mirror, she wiped the fog from it, looking at her reflection. She hadn't changed much over the years, in fact for being over two hundred she still looked in her twenties. The raven frowned, running her fingers through her hair, tugging a little at the tangles in it, suddenly really hating that she still looked the same. The raven didn't feel like the same person, not really.

She felt...stronger. More sure of herself than she used to. And suddenly she really wanted to look like she felt too. But how? As it stood she looked like a weak, useless little fool, like she always had. Even John seemed to feel like she needed protecting all the time and even though she was flattered he care dos much it worried her that he might end up getting hurt because of her. She cast her eyes downward, hands on the sinks edge. A silver glimmer got her attention, blue eyes blinked as she lifted up a pair of old scissors, smile spread wide across her face.

An hour later she emerged from the steam fogged bathroom, looking triumphant, wearing a loose shirt and shorts. Her hair neatly shaved off on one side and in short waves on the other, "I feel much better!" She announced as she came out into the living room kitchen combo, hands on her hips.

John was sitting, smoking a cigarette at the couch, back to her. "Good, ya looked a little down ear...li...er..." He turned slowly to look at her, the lit smoke dropping from his lips without notice, mouth hanging open as his words trailed off.He was looking at her oddly.

"Going for a new look Kid? Its nice, suits ya better." Nick said, not as shocked as Hancock or apparently Codsworth who had yet to say anything at all. The raven nodded, looking a little less sure about it, glancing at her dear ghoul friend. "Y-yeah...I..uh...I thought it made me look a little tougher...M-maybe this was a bad idea."

Hancock seemed to catch himself, noticing the sudden change in her demeanor, he quickly got to his feet and walked over to her. "Nah, Heh, I was just thinking you've spent to much time around Fahrenheit." This made it worse as she paled considerably, "Crap. I knew something about it seemed too familiar!" Luella hung her head gloomily, reaching up to pull roughly at the remaining strands of black hair. The ghoul in front of her cursed himself mentally, "Ah, I was kidding! I like it, really I do. It suits you better, believe me."

Luella still seemed uncertain as she looked up at him, still tugging at her hair, though not as harshly. "Your just saying that..." John shook his head, leaning down and catching her pink lips in a light kiss, "Am not. You really do look great Sunshine." He breathed the words against her cheek when he pulled back, placing another kiss there, "'Sides, if your happy that's what counts."

This at least made her smile, cheeks dusted pink, "Did you tell Nick the plan?"

"Yeah, we're heading into the Glowing Sea. Can't say I'm excited, but it'll be interesting anyway. You really believe Murphy can see the future kid?" The detective asked, turning to face them from his seat at the table. "I do...she's the one who pointed me to Diamond City after all, told me I'd find my first clues there. And I found you. So I'm inclined to believe she can see things."

Satisfied with the answer, Nick nodded, putting his cigarette between his lips and going back to doing whatever he had been doing. Looked like he was keeping a journal. "Mum...Um...the couch." Codsworth finally spoke, motioning a robotic arm toward the furniture. Which was starting to slowly burn, flames licking the old cloth, starting from the spot John had dropped his forgotten cigarette. "Oh my god!" She shrieked, rushing to the bathroom for a bucket, Hancock yanked a curtain from the window and tried stifling the flames.

By the time they got the fire out the couch was ruined far beyond use. Both of them covered in black smudges and light burns. The ghoul blinked, huffing a little, "Uh...I think I owe you a couch..." He said lamely, rubbing his neck.

Luella stared at him a moment, before bursting into laughter.

* * *

 

Four grueling days later the three found themselves outside what used to be Natick, now only crumbling buildings and blood thirsty raiders. Luella knelt behind a fallen log, scanning ahead with her rifle scope, counting them. It was well after dark, so this proved difficult. "I don't know, six or seven maybe? I think we can sneak by them though..." The raven said, lowering her weapon, more than a lot tired and not really up for a fight. They had barely been able to rest the whole way. Having run into a lot more than raiders along the way, it had felt like they were really being targeted at this point.

"No good. The sea's not much farther and we all need a break if were going to keep our wits in there." Nick said, "It'd be better to take these guys out and camp here, we wouldn't be in the open at least."

Hancock himself groaned, "Nicky...this is bullshit...we're both ready to drop. We ain't taken them on like this. Lets just go around, we can camp out in the police station up head." The ghoul argued, pointing to the distant ruin, the broken down sign barely illuminated by the moon light in the clear sky. Nick was about to agree, but a commotion in the camp ahead made them all go still and quiet.

"Let me go! Please! I'm just a poor farmer!" A woman's voice yelled, the sounds of a struggle inside the dilapidated motel that served as the raiders home echoing in the quiet night air. They couldn't make out what the scum was talking about. Luella lifted her gun again, sighing a little, "We're not leaving."

"Yeah...No shit." John replied sarcastically, loading his shotgun, "I'll sneak around the back."

"I'll lure them into the open." Nick said, the two men going their separate ways without another word, a plan made easily. This was not their first rodeo, any of them. The raven waited quietly for the raiders to take the bait, killing off the ones in the back first as they rushed out to attack Nicky. She was so completely focused on the raiders coming out the front of the building that she failed to notice the one on the roof with the rocket launcher, aiming right for her*.

She did, vaguely catch Nick yelling at her, making her lower her rifle. But it was the sound of the missile launching that made her look around wildly, almost too late, she dodged to the side. The blast splintering the log, needles of wood embedding into her back and side painfully as she rolled partly down the hill.

Dazed and disoriented, she got to her knees, clutching her side with a hiss. "Fucking hell..." She breathed, pulling a bloody hand away to reach in her bag, starting to get out a Stimpak, but remembering something John had told her a long time ago. Not wanting to feel the sting of that knife of his digging debris from her body, she grabbed instead a Psycho, injecting the chem into her leg. Letting out a growl, "Argh! Bring it!" She ran full speed up the hill, her own shotgun at the ready, the raider already having reloaded the next missile.

This one she manged to dodge, darting to the side and zig-zagging her way up the hill, pulling a grenade from her bag. Yanking the pin with her teeth, she tossed it onto the roof with the bastard, pressing herself against the wall of the crumbling motel. The raider shouted, leaping from the structure to avoid getting blown apart.

"Fucking bitch! I'll destroy you for that!" The psycho screamed, turning to face her, dropping the launcher in favor of a pipe pistol. She only laughed darkly, pushing off the wall, ducking and rolling to avoid getting shot. Coming to a stop on her knees at his feet with a smirk, shotgun to his chin, "Not a chance asshole. I'm not dying here."

Pulling the trigger, the guys head exploded into a million pieces, splashing her in his blood. Not that she cared at the time. On her feet again, she ran into the fight with Nick and John, taking out the rest of them easily. And just in time for the chem to ware off, leaving her stumbling for caption, "Whoops...over did it." She breathed dizzily, dropping to sit on a large rock, wrapping a hand around the oozing wounds on her side. "You think? Jesus, you really do have a death wish." Hancock bitched, walking over to her and carefully peeling her hand from the numerous splinter marks, examining the best he could in the dark.

"Damn...Gonna have to pull all these out before we can use a Stimpak. The hell were you thinkin'?"

Luella shrugged, "I was thinking I didn't want to get blown up and I also didn't want to have to cut those out if I used a stimpak. So I chose the alternative." She replied flippantly in an annoyed tone, Nick was inside the motel looking for the captive they had gone well out of there way to rescue. "It worked out just fine."

"Your something else, you know that?" He growled a little, standing up straight, arms crossed lightly. The raven smirked a little, feeling braver than usual, she stood as well. Swaying a little, she faced the ghoul, leaning up to kiss him. Much to his wide eyed surprise. "Wouldn't want me any other way then myself. Now would you?" Blinking a few times, John sighed, smiling softly. Fondness in his dark eyes, "Ya argue a very fine point Love."Thus ended the weird little fight.

Nick returned from the motel a few minutes later with a disheveled blonde woman that was distinctly familiar to both the other two and the moment she lay eyes on Hancock she shouted like a complete moron, "Oh my god its a feral! Quick, kill it before it eats me!"

John deadpanned, stared, then walked off growling. Mumbling something about stupid uppity blonde bitches. Luella was less than pleased about it as well, shooting a dark look at the woman, "Geneva, right? Your Mayor lard asses little fling?" The raven didn't notice Hancock pause behind her, looking back in time to see the blondes indignant face, "How dare you-?!"

"Dare I what? Save your sorry ass so you can insult my boyfriend? I should make you walk back to Diamond City alone, just for that."

The blonde clamped her mouth shut, but her face was so red it nearly glowed like the dying evening light, looking more than a little scared, "P-please, I'm too pretty to die out here!?"

Luella pretended to be examining her own nails smugly, "Mmm...and I care why?" The woman was gaping like a fish, trying to think of some way to negotiate, on her knees no less. The raven general smirked after a minute or two of just enjoying it. "Tell you what. For a fee I'll let you barrow Nick as an escort back."

Geneva paled, looking at the detective, who shrugged. Secretly he was enjoying watching the stuck up snob grovel like a dog. "Ah...all I have is this key to the empty apartment near the market in the city. B-but its in a really good spot, real big too! I-if nothing else its worth a lot of caps...?" The blonde said, fishing the key out and holding it up  with its little Nuka-Cola keychain of neon blue. The raven raised a brow, debating on it a moment or two, it could come in handy some day. Taking the key she nodded, "Alright, you have an escort."

Nick chuckled a bit, "You two be careful out in the Sea, ya hear me?"

"Can't promise nothin' Nick, but we'll meet you here in a few days, yeah?"

"Sure thing." The synth waved, leading the blonde off into the night. She felt John come up behind her, the warmth from him and the smell of chems and gun-smoke washing over her in a calming sort of way. "Boyfriend huh?" There was amusement in his voice, a gentle hand lay on her shoulder, silently guiding her up the motel's only intact room. "Well we're more than friends. But we haven't gotten physical, technically. And neither of us has proposed. So, yes, boyfriend. Makes sense to me."

He chuckled a bit, "Guess so. Sit down, I'll get a fire going and we can get out those splinters."

Luella did as asked, honestly too tired to argue as she watched him go about breaking up some old chairs and loading the wooden bits into a barrel, which took longer to light than prepare. But the room was soon bathed in the warm glow, the flames flickering against the dirty walls, providing ample enough light. John found a bit of grate to put over the top, laying out some mole rate meat they had picked up on the road out to cook.

The raven was seated on the edge of a still intact king size bed, just enjoying the chance to relax a little. And maybe enjoying watching a certain ghoul mayor. Said mayor came to take a seat next to her, pulling the little box they kept miscellaneous first aid stuff in out of his bag. "Gonna have to take off the shirt darlin', gotta get to those splinters."

She hesitated only a moment or two, it wasn't like he hadn't seen her shirtless before, but then again he had been pretty tired that time and probably didn't remember, right? Taking a deep breath, she removed the basically ruined bit of clothing, knowing she would need something else in the morning. But for now, at least, they were safe...sort of.

With all the gentleness one could manage using tweezers, John set to work pulling the offending bits of wood from her body, ignoring the flinches and pained little hissing sounds she made. She had her arm up over his shoulder to keep it out of the way. Pulling out a particularly long bit of wood, she stiffened up like a board, almost whimpering at the pain. "Fucking mother fucker that hurts worse than a bullet!"

Hancock couldn't help the small snicker that bubbled passed his lips, clearing his throat afterward to prevent full blown laughter. She shot him a withering look, "Jackass..."

"Heh, sorry. Almost done."

Carefully he cleaned off the remnants of blood and dirty with some antiseptic, before unrolling some gauze around her middle. Seeing the confused look he received, he shrugged a little, "We need to reserve our Stimpak's as much as possible. No tellin' what we'll face out there."

"Good point..." The raven mumbled, heaving a tired sigh, relaxing her arm when he was finished. It was quiet a long time, John putting things away and setting their things near the bed, before sitting back down. He looked like he was thinking hard on something, glancing at her from the corner of his eyes with a frown marring his lips. "Something wrong?" She asked after a while, starting to get uncomfortable.

"No, not exactly. I was...well I was thinkin'...'bout what you said. Y'know, that we hadn't gotten physical..."

Luella blushed a little, almost wishing she could hide behind her hair, but that was impossible now. "O-oh...yeah?"

Silence reigned in again, burying them awhile, "I-I...don't...well I don't know whats going to happen out there and...and  I wanted to...at least once...before we...But you, we, don't have to if your not comfortable with...well me." He was stammering, something he never did, why was he so nervous? Right, because he was still uncertain about his body and her. It wasn't like he hadn't had a fling here and there in the past, it was just this was different. This was _her_. Not some floozy. It was quiet again and he almost wished he hadn't said anything, but her hand taking his made him lift his eyes to hers. "John. You can be so ridiculously shy at the weirdest times."

The raven smiled fondly, lifting his hand so she could nuzzle his palm, humming a little in contentment. "Does it really seem like I'm uncomfortable with you? Really? I can be uncertain about a lot of thinks regarding us, not because I don't trust you or don't like you or I'm having second thoughts about you. I'm a lot more uncertain about **myself** than about how I feel about you." She closed her eyes, relaxed there like that and Hancock couldn't help thinking it was the most beautiful sight he had ever seen. "I love you John, all of you. If you hadn't almost dropped me that time in the State House we would have gotten very much physical that day...But I was worried about your health and then everything else started piling up...And I'm not certain this is the best place either, but I'd be more than happy to make a go of it."

Her cheeks were dusted red, even in the dimness it wouldn't be missed. John took in a slow breath, just enjoying the calm, intimate moment between them. His thumb, the one pressed against her cheek, gently stroked the warm skin at her cheek bones. They could have stayed that way forever and he wouldn't have ever needed anything else. The moment dragged on like a gentle stream through a forest not inhabited by dangerous radiation monsters, least it did till Luella opened her eyes, the brilliant color heated as black eyes met hers. It was like a nuke had blown that forest apart, loosing all the pent up animals.

Hancock swallowed his doubts, his worries and fears, buried them deep as he could. Gave himself over to the desires he felt burning in his chest, leaning in and capturing perfect pouty lips in a passionate kiss. Nipping her lower lip, asking, no begging for entrance which was promptly given with a tiny gasp. Not hesitating a moment he began to explore the cavern of her sweet mouth, savoring the subtle, sweet floral flavor that seemed to cling to her despite all the fighting and long travel. It was a wonder anyone tasted that good after the last four days they had had.

The raven hummed softly, her tongue fighting with his for dominance. He tasted of Jet fumes and cigarettes, a hint of something she couldn't place mixed in, like lavender or some other herb maybe? Trying halfheartedly to figure out the strange thing that it was, her hands began a slow exploration of his torso, admiring the tawny, thin muscles beneath the fabric of the white dress shirt he wore under that faded red coat. John was neither buff nor thin, some lovely balance in between the two, strong and yet plastered on a thin frame that left him unassuming to the eyes. But a nightmare in a fight. Nimble fingers undid the buttons that guarded his flesh from her touch, parting the dingy cloth with an ease that could be mistaken for practice.

John couldn't help the shudder her touch made that left him gasping, lifting his head for air that he didn't even notice he was deprived of. Both of them panting softly, their breath mingling in the air between. "Damn, this is even better than the chems..." He breathed, leaning forward to nip lightly at the skin on her shoulder, smirking a little. "Well...maybe eighty percent as good." His tone was teasing, hearing her let out a breathless chuckle. The next thing he knew she had pushed him done onto the old mattress, smiling in an odd way, "Maybe if I up the ante you'll change your mind, hm?"

He wondered for all of five seconds what she meant by that, watching with bated breath as she began untying the flag from his waist, didn't take an Institute scientist to figure out where this was going. John smirked a little, his stomach churning with more than a little excitement, perhaps a touch of something akin to fear. A calm, mischievous smile crossed her lips as she knelt there on the floor between his knees, him sitting up on his elbows, shirt open haphazardly exposing his chest and stomach already. The mess of ruined, scared skin in full view for her to see. And normally he would have been nervous about that, but he was far more distracted watching her unbutton his pants, freeing his already hard erection that flopped against his lower stomach heavily. He didn't miss the way her eyes widened slightly, the way that smile spread a little farther.

Luella swallowed a little, excitement twisting her insides in the best way. It had been a long time since she had done something like this, voluntarily of course, and she couldn't deny the thrill that skated down her spine and made her shiver. She wanted to see pleasure in his features, wanted it more than she had ever wanted a good hit of chems. Thin fingers reached up to wrap around his length, giving it a gentle, test stroke. Catching the sharp intake of breath from the ghoul before her, she teased the tip with her thumb a little, feeling that touch of stickiness. Blue eyes looked up a moment, just to admire the man under her touch, the way he was so open to her. Open in a way he hadn't really ever been before, aside from that day in the State House. Luella leaned up, pulling him to her carefully, admiring the texture of him.

John thought the anticipation was going to kill him, his muscles were tight with it, heart already hammering like a wild animal. He couldn't pull his gaze away from her either, watching every little thing the raven did, the expression that crossed her face and the emotions in her eyes. Eighty-Five percent. Defiantly. And then her tongue shot out, teasing his head with a single slow lick. His shaft twitched, breath cut off sharply in surprise at how damned good that little bit felt.

And then she wrapped those sweet pink lips around him, slid almost half of him into that moist heaven, "Fuuuck..." He breathed out, his fingers curled into fists, took everything he had not to jerk his hips. John reached out, carding the fingers of his right hand through what was left of her hair, wishing she hadn't cut it so he had more to hold onto. She bobbed that beautiful head and he slowly came undone beneath her, panting with the strain of holding himself back. He wanted to ravage her, but he also didn't want to scare her. If she kept going like this...she twisted the hand at his base, changing the tempo of her movements and he threw his head back with another soft curse. "Love...shit...ya keep that up and I'm gonna...Ah...!"

Luella wasn't planning on stopping, not now. No, she was determined to see this through, giving him a little of the pleasure he deserved. To prove to him how much she loved him, no matter how he looked. Her other hand gave a little squeeze to his sack, kneading it slow and gentle. He was becoming a mess above her, she could see him loosing the little control he clung to, those black eyes glowing that subtle silver again. Like molten metal in a pool of obsidian. And damn she loved his eyes looking so passionate. His breathing becoming more erratic, hand tugging a little more roughly at her hair. A string of obscenities left his lips, her name and other incoherent things along with them.

He tried in vein to pull her away, feeling the tell tale tingling sensation washing over him and pool in the pit of his stomach. John tried to get the words out to warn her, but the only thing that came out was a thin cry, a barely masked shout as he came. His vision turning white, mind blanking out for a few strung out moments. Fucking Ninety-five percent for sure. John's face felt hot, his body almost shaking from the after math of his release. He couldn't ever remember anything like that feeling so damn good. Blurrily his mind put itself back together, lifting his head so he could look at her, still sitting there. A smirk on her face like the cat who finally got the canary, wiping the remnants of his own essence from her lips and shit if it wasn't turning him on all over again watching her lick it up off her fingers like that.

The raven sat there, watching him recover, feeling perfectly accomplished. He looked so relaxed now, his body at ease for once, at least for a few minutes till he was looking at her again. The silver burning brighter, he looked almost angry, but maybe that was just her imagination. It surprised her when he slid off the bed, onto his knees in front of her, so they were almost the same level, his hand tangled in her hair again as he pulled her to him. The kiss he gave her this time was far more heated than before, almost desperate as his free hand made a slow path up her back, drawing a shudder from her as his rough fingers stroked her spine, locating the clasp of her bra.

Luella's mind turned a mess, like it had the last time, distracted completely by him. John unclasped her bra, or tried to, growling a little when it refused to come open. Their lips parted as he leaned over her shoulder a little to see what he was doing, struggling with both hands. The raven let out a small laugh, unable to help herself, it was cute how flustered he was getting. It was a rare sight, seeing him upset over something like this and letting it show, he always carried himself like he was a stone that couldn't be worn or broken. Seeming so confident and cocky.

Except with her, when it was just them. More than once she had seen it, seen the vulnerable parts of him. John was so much like herself on the inside, so fragile emotionally, distrusting of those around him. But he trusted her, trusted her enough to tell her everything, to risk everything for her sake. And she loved him for it.

Her heart skipped a beat, really realizing the significance of that. Of exactly how deeply she loved him. Defiantly more than she had Nate. And she almost felt guilty about that. The humor of the situation broke, the smile on her lips softening as she reached back herself and undid the offending clasps, taking the bra off and tossing it over with her shirt on the floor. John started to kiss her again, but seemed to notice the change in her, always so perceptive he was. "You alright darlin'?" He asked, concern leaking into his voice, the silver fading a little from his eyes.

Luella smiled, cupping his scared cheek softly in her hand and kissing him sweetly, pouring her heart into it. "I just wanted to say...no...to tell you I love you John. I don't think I got the chance to before...And I'm only just realizing it I guess, just how much I really do love you. More so than even Nate..." She told him quietly as she pulled away, blue eyes steady as she gazed into black, feeling the way he searched her expression. Reassuring himself this was even real.

"If this ends up being a Jet flash back I'm going to be really fucking mad later..." He got out, the words thick against his tongue. A smile pulled at his thin lips, heart pounding for an entirely new reason, "Luella, I love you too...I've never been in love before I met you, never thought I'd get that chance after...well I took that rad drug. But you...you should know I'm probably going to be over protective. I'm not going to lie about it. I'm scared to death about tomorrow, about this Institute thing...But I know its just somethin' ya gotta do and I'm going to stay by you the whole way." Hancock swallowed the tightness in his throat, not having expected this to get so emotional all of a sudden. But he didn't regret it. More than happy to pour out his heart to her, always to her.Only for her.

Capturing her lips again he took his time, enjoyed it, hands slowly exploring the skin of her back and sides, being mindful of the bandages. The warmth and semi-smoothness, broken here and there by the little and sometimes big scars on her. Every once and awhile running over a scar or two that he had missed visually. Her hands were settled on his shoulders for sometime, before one found its way to the back of his neck, deepening their kiss. His hands eventually found his way to the small mounds that fit perfectly in his hands, kneading them a little, feeling the way she stiffened. Gasping against his lips when he teased her nipples, a chuckle leaving him. She was sensitive too, maybe not as much as he had been, but still noticeably so.

Slipping out of his coat, vest and shirt, with her help. Pulling his hands from her momentarily to do so, he got enough mind to pull her to her feet, not wanting to do all this to her on the floor like that. He showered her face in little kisses, smirking a little at the soft giggle that left her breathless lips. "Lie down love..." He whispered into her ear, nibbling it a little, before reluctantly letting her go. He sat on the edge of the bed, kicking off his boots and socks, glancing over when he saw her doing the same. Briefly thinking they would be screwed if someone decided to ambush them like this, but the thought fled his mind when she removed the rest of her clothes. It didn't escape his notice the way she trembled a little climbing onto the bed, pulling her knees against herself with that look of insecurity.

Hancock had almost forgotten about that incident a month ago, the one that had solidified their leaving _Goodneighbor_ in the first place. She was unmistakably nervous, despite everything they had done up till that point, but why now? "Luella if you don't want to-"

"I do." She replied quickly, blushing deeply and looking away a moment, taking a deep breath to calm herself. He opened his mouth to say something, but she spoke again before he could, shaking her head. "I'll be fine, really. I just...its hard to turn some things off, even when you want them to go away, they just love rearing their ugly heads at the worst moments. B-but I'm not going to let them ruin this."

After a moment he nodded, if she was sure about it, at least for now he would keep going. He could always stop if she couldn't handle it yet, he wouldn't blame her if she wasn't able to go all the way, hell she had already given him more than enough. But he wanted her to enjoy this too. Catching her lips once more, he took it slow for the time being, for her sake.

Kneading those wonderful breasts again, teasing her a bit, slowly feeling her muscles relaxing under his touch. The whole time she kept her eyes open, staring into his till he pulled back, trailing little nips and kisses to her throat and then along her shoulder. Holding himself up on one hand, the other slipping from her supple mounds to slide a slow path down her stomach. For a moment he ran a finger over a scar he found there, tracing it across her abdomen, wondering vaguely what it was from. His lips kissed the gunshot scar on her shoulder fondly, the one he had dug the bullet out of all those months back when they met. One of these days he was going to run into those raiders and either thank them or rip them apart, probably some combination of both.

His fingers trailed along her hips and thigh, now bare since she had removed the leather pants, feeling the multitude of scars here on the outside. Frowning a little, he lifted his head to see them, curious as to how he missed so many. He was almost, _**almost**_ , shocked by the number and depth of them. Little rows of them going down either side and some even curving around between her thighs, darker in color than the others littering her torso, these had clearly been deep at some point and likely self inflicted. If John hadn't had a very personal look into her life before he might have asked why she had done this to herself, but he didn't need to hear her say it, he had seen and felt the pain in her soul. The shit that ate at her mind like a destructive disease. All thanks to that dead beat father of hers. Thanks to never having anyone to rely on.

John was lucky in that way, sure Guy had ended up turning into a horrible ghoul killing bastard, but he at least had tried to be there for his younger brother. Now, if nothing else, Luella had him. And Hancock was determined to be there for her. They had nothing to lose but each other.

The ghoul slipped his whole body down, place sweet kiss's to those scars, a quiet promise that he wouldn't ever let her fall that far again. Above him she was watching him closely, moisture in her eyes and he gave her a soft, loving smile. His left hand slipped between her knees, messaging her leg gently a moment or two, coaxing her to open up to him. Luella was breathing a little fast, it was hard to tell wither it was nerves or arousal the way her muscles were tight under his touch again. Black eyes darted upward, seeing the dark crimson splashed across her features, the heat in her eyes reassuring him. The raven was fine, enjoying this even. The tenseness no doubt from anticipation.

Sitting up, he bent himself over her again, catching her in another passionately slow kiss. Dragging his hand up the inside her thigh when he did, cupping the heat at her center, almost shuddering at exactly how hot she felt against the coolness of his own skin. He felt her whole body go still, breathing halted, waiting. John smirked into their kiss, that too had slowed to a stop. Time was still it seemed, till he slide two fingers over her intimate parts, finding that little nub at the apex of her and stroking it in hard, slow circles.

She jerked to life beneath him, gasping as her hands sought uselessly for something to hold onto, settling at last on his forearms. "J-John..." Luella groaned out the name, panting quietly as he kept rubbing her like that, squeezing her legs shut on reflex at the intense feeling that washed over her. He chuckled against her lips, leaning back onto one knee, the other leg hanging off the side of the bed. "Yes love?" Hancock practically purred the words, pushing her legs apart again, using his free hand to do so, rubbing at her again. Watching her come undone like he had earlier. The raven had nothing to grab a hold of now, he was out of reach, so her hands were curled near her face.

Needing to feel grounded somehow, she ended up tugging at her own hair, twisting her fingers into it. Her other arm wrapped around her stomach tightly as his fingers shifted suddenly, delving into her folds to stroke like fire at her insides, bucking her hips in surprise at the movement, she let out a low moan. It didn't take him long at all to find that little clusters of nerves inside her, white flashing behind her eyes, causing a rather loud shout to erupt from her throat without warning. He stilled, flinching a little, warily glancing toward the tatter curtains blowing in the breeze over the window. The fear was only momentary, the danger suddenly seemed almost exciting.

Something flashed in his dark eyes, that silver back and oh so much brighter than earlier, the smile on his lips devilish. He stroked at that spot, harder and more frequently now, watching the way she jerked beneath him. Luella slammed a hand over her mouth, gritting her teeth to try and be more quiet, but he was making it pretty hard. "Fucking hell John! Ah-Are you trying to alert the whole Commonwealth?!" She managed to bite out between gasping, breathy moans, biting her fingers against a long low one that had her shaking under him. The raven wasn't going to last long. Something the handsome ghoul seemed to pick up on, pulling his fingers away, letting her relax a moment.

"Let 'em hear. Fuck, I want the whole of the wasteland to know you mine Luella!" He said, a wildness in his eyes she didn't think she ever remembered seeing before as he licked the moisture from his fingers. That image was going to be stuck with her tomorrow, she just knew it, driving her up the wall in that damned Hazmat Suit. "You ready for this Darlin'?" He asked, pointedly stroking his cock, making sure she understood.

Luella was shaking from the excitement, nodding slowly as she watched him, holding her breath as he knelt between her legs. He held himself up on one hand, settled next to her head, gazing into her hazy blue eyes. Below, he stroked her with his tip, up and down. Teasing her. She swallowed, unable to take it, reaching up and pulling him by the back of his neck to kiss him. Her other hand reaching between them to guide him into her, tensing at the thickness of him, surprised by how much larger he felt inside her. Her body shook, a shudder of pleasure rushing up her spine, muddling her mind.

Hancock moved slowly at first, his own body shaking subtly with the intensity of their pleasure, stilling totally after a moment to reground himself. Panting against her lip, before burying his face in her neck, "Fucking hell...Luella...I'm gonna end up destroying you darlin'..." He breathed harshly into the crook of her shoulder, kissing the skin there gently, lovingly. "Then do it." John blinked, lifting his head in surprise at her answered words, staring a moment into those eyes he had fallen for the first day he had seen them. "Don't hold back John...I want this...I-I **need** this...need **_you_**!" As if to make that point clear she moved her hips burying him, if that was possible, even farther inside her with a moan.

"NNNGH....fuuuck....!" He panted out, pushing one of her knees up a little high, his hand cupped under her thigh. Without much more hesitation he began to move, long, hard strokes into her. Below him she unraveled, one hand still over her mouth, hiding the moans as best she could manage. He changed up the angle, wanting to hear her, not just see the pleasure. Pulling her hips impossible close against his, pounding into her, looking for that...there! She let out another cry, unable to hide it this time, as he slammed into her over and over. Before long they were both shouting, their ends nearing. "JOHN!!!" Luella screamed out his name, tears pricking her eyes from the pressure of it as her insides tightened hard around his prick, sending him quickly to join her in the waves of pleasure that sent them both to the stars.

John collapsed, laying heavily half on top of her, struggling to catch his breath. The only sound was their combined breathing as they came down from their highs, Luella letting out a contented noise, one hand laying on the arm of her lover laying across her stomach. His arm tightening to pull her gently to him, the ghoul practically curling around her as he turned onto his side. It was hard not to just go to sleep like that, the raven nearly so as it was, when she felt him stiffen.

"Did you....something, **something** moved!" He whispered suddenly, staring over the top of her head at the window, wide eyed and worried. Luella hummed a little, not hearing anything, "Its okay...killed all the raiders, 'member?" She said tiredly, contentedly spent from their activities, the wounds in her sides were sore as hell too. So the raven was in no hurry to have to move. "I'm telling you something fucking moved!" He growled, untangling himself from her to climb over her, getting out of bed and putting on his pants faster than he had ever moved.

Silent as he could, he got to the window and nudged the curtain aside, looking out. But it was too dark to see much. Barely able to make out the corpses of those nasty raiders littering the ground. Behind him he heard Luella getting up, the soft, disappointed sigh making him almost regret getting up himself. But from experience it wasn't wise to ignore a gut feeling out there. "John...I think your just over tired. There's nothing-"

Her words died at the sound of bones and flesh being crunched outside, something very large was eating those raiders, didn't need to see it to know by the large shifting and munching. The raven paled considerably, cursing. There was only one way in and out of that room, they were trapped. But they were also harder to get to. Either way they were stuck there for the night or until whatever it was went on its marry way. "Okay...something moved."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this took way longer than I meant for it too, so sorry to everyone ^^'. I'll try not to procrastinate as much next time! *This has actually happened to me twice, once at the location in the story and once on a quest in Libertalia. The second time it was actually a Nuke. I came up the stairs, panned my camera up and blam! Right in the face. No idea how but I made it out with 3 HP left X"D


	14. Radioactive Pulse

Two days. Two fucking days stuck in that run down motel room, having to be as quiet as mice with a full sized deathclaw outside munching on the dead raiders. Geared up and ready to run first chance they got, which came when the thing fell asleep in the warm sunlight. John swallowed, taking Luella's hand, pulling her with him outside. Cautiously walking past the sleeping beast, neither of them spoke until they were well on the other side of an old Red Rocket Station two blocks away. "You need to put that rad suit on Sunshine." Hancock said once he had caught his breath, jutting his thumb toward the station, "I'll keep an eye out."

"Do I really need it now? My _Pip-Boy's_ not even clicking yet...." She asked, obediently going into the station either way and getting the horrible hazmat suit out, grimacing at the orange and white color. Luella had promised after all. Outside she could hear the click of a lighter, "Sea's just over that hill. Doubt there will be anywhere ahead for you to change, so its better to do it now." Hancock replied, lighting a much needed cigarette, he hadn't dare smoke any the last to days for fear of alerting their presence to the deathclaw. Hell he hadn't even taken any chems, Jet or other wise for the same reason and he was sober as fucking shit right then and it was nearly enough to drive him batty.

There was nothing worse than the withdrawal, the itch and need for a hit, the nasty little voices dancing around in his head. The worst part was the images, the things not entirely caused by the years of addiction. Those little monsters that he could _see_. Had to remind himself what was real and in his head, it was one of the biggest reasons he avoided being sober, so he wouldn't _see_ them. They were dangerously distracting.

"I feel ridiculous in this." Luella's voice startled him, his heart leaping when he realized he hadn't been paying attention to their surroundings. Mentally he slapped himself, he needed to get this under control or they would both be killed in the sea! "You look fine, lets go." His tone was unintentionally biting, his anger unknowing seeping into his mannerisms and words.

The raven flinched a little, but said nothing about it, figuring John was just antsy from being cooped up too long. So she didn't take the anger in his voice personal or she tried not to. Side by side they walked down the cracked road toward the hill in the distance, the closer they got the more her _Pip-Boy_ began clicking threateningly in her pack, reaching inside to flip it off. She didn't really need to know there were a lot of rads. It was nearly silent out there too, but for the howling of the wind that cut through the shells of buildings and cars. Everything was awash in an eerie green and yellow glow, the scenery like something from a nightmare.

It set Luella's nerves on fire, blue eyes squinting to see through the bubbled window of the helmet protecting her from the dangerous fallout in the air. "John...?" She needed to hear him, needed to distract herself a little before she ended up having an anxiety attack. She was already breathing too fast. "Yeah?" His reply was short, irritable, making her jerk a little. She had to remind herself it wasn't personal. Or was it? She couldn't tell. "Do...do the rads...hurt you?" The question was met with silence, the anxiety rising considerably, "John?!"

The ghoul sighed heavily, the highness in her voice like an open book to where her emotions were going, he couldn't really see her face for that helmet. But he just knew, somehow. "Depends. If I were to stay out here several weeks it probably might cause a fair amount of damage to my head, I guess. Never really known anyone to test the limits. But its nearly unheard of for anyone whose been a ghoul like myself this long to be hurt by the rads or go feral if that's what your worried about." He explained quietly, "You either turn feral at the start or you don't. And I didn't, so I probably won't."

It was quiet while she digested that, it didn't really ease her mind much, there was still a possibility there. However slim it may have been. They needed to hurry so they could get as far from this place as possible. Something else came to mind, "John...?"

He growled a little, stopping and turning to her, "Darlin', no offense, but its pretty dangerous out here and I'm trying to keep my eyes out for danger." He watched the way she fidgeted, waited, wary black eyes looking around them. "I...I can't see very well out of this helmet." She declared at last, arms crossed tightly, the only nervous tick she could resort to in that outfit.

Hancock frowned a little, nodding grimly, that meant their safety really was on his shoulders. Fucking great. His eye sight was shit as it was in the sunlight, and the rads made the daylight even brighter, so it was like walking in a deep fog for him. And if she couldn't really see any better? "Then keep an ear out." He told her at last, patting the helmet lightly, trying to show her he wasn't upset at her or anything. Wasn't about to tell her what the real problem was. Outside being horribly sober, he was worried himself about the rads.

He hadn't been lying before, he had never heard of a ghoul who had been so for more than several years going feral. Usually that happened in the early stages, like after the first two or so years and he had been a ghoul at least ten. So he was well passed the threshold. But had never tested the limits either. In fact to his knowledge even the pre-war ghouls, like Kent and Daisy, avoid long exposure to high radiation.

In fact Daisy had once told him that rad storms, the ones that sometimes blew into the ruins from the sea, made her feel sick for several days at a time. And naturally he was inside when they blew in, having grown up avoiding the exposures it came normally to avoid it. And then there was the fact he had not become a ghoul in the standard way, like when the bombs fell or falling into a pool of the radioactive material that accumulated in some places around the Commonwealth. Hancock had taken that drug, he had no idea what might happen and it was only then he was realizing what he was risking being out there without a suit of his own.

But it was too late to worry now and there was no sense telling Luella, she would have insisted on leaving and trying again later or something, risking her last chance to find her son. And he was not about to let her end up regretting something like that over him.

Ahead, barely, the raven could make out what looked like a mountain. Light seeming to spill out of it at the top. Mumbling softly something about there not being mountains near Boston, she frowned and pulled her _Pip-Boy_ from her bag, checking the map to be sure. "That's the crater." John said suddenly, sounding wary as he looked up at it. Putting the map back, she nodded, understanding. This was their destination. It was easier than she had thought getting there.

Climbing up the steep hill, she could just make out a settlement of some kind below, a structure over the pool of radioactive waste in the center and buildings outlining the edges close to it. "Mama was right, there are people out here." She said in amazement, having been fairly skeptical about it. "So...so how are they combating the rads?" She questioned quietly as they made their way among the buildings, passing people on there knees in worship. Seeming not to notice the strangers.

"Dunno for sure. Some of them were, believe it or not, born out here. Their basically immune. The others, I have no idea and I really don't think I wanna know." John replied, going quiet when a woman with thinning hair, dressed in tattered robes, approached them. She looked wary of them, naturally skeptical of visitors, "Stop. You approach Atom's Holy Ground, what is your business here."

Luella stepped forward, knowing John was not fond of these people, "We mean no harm. We're just trying to find someone, I was told you may be able to help." The woman raised a brow, John noting the flash of annoyance when she looked at the girl in the hazmat suit, they really hated it when people wore them. "I am the High Priestess of Atom, Isolde. Who may I ask are you two?"

"Name's Hancock and this is my companion, Bishop." John replied in a short tone, not wanting to give the woman the pleasure of their first names, let alone their real relationship status, these people could get weird about it. "We're lookin' for a man, 'bout my height, muscled, probably wearing a suit like her. If not he's bald and has a scar over his left eye."

Isolde seemed to think about it a moment, "I believe a man in a suit passed through here a few hours ago, he was talking to brother Aster. He headed south-west. From what I understand he was seeking the one called Virgil, Aster warned him that Virgil is not a man for company, but he didn't listen."

Luella frowned under the helmet, "Where can we find this Virgil?" The raven asked, wondering if perhaps Virgil might be of more help some how, maybe if they hurried they could get there first and launch a surprise attack on Kellog. The priestess frowned deeply, eying her in a strange way, "He lives in a cave south of here."

Biding the woman a thank you, the two started off, but a hand stopped Luella. Isolde was stopping her, but why? The grip on her arm was almost bruising, "You should not affront Atom, he can be kind if you let him in. But shutting him out as you are doing can only bare ill fortune." The raven was frozen, staring through the glass at sickeningly yellow eyes, unable to pull herself away for some reason. The woman's words, they rang like a threat. A scared hand grabbed Isolde's wrist, making the priest mother look up into the angry silver glow of the ghouls eyes, "Touch her again and you'll find a lot of ill fortune in the form of my shotgun in your fucking face."

Isolde jerked away, glaring at him as she rubbed her wrist, "You are a beloved of Atom, you should join us here. You belong here." Hancock growled softly, taking Luella's hand and leading her away, "Go sleep in a deathclaw nest."

Climbing out of the crater, John eventually let her go, taking a few calming breaths. "Christ, I fucking hate those rad-suckers!" He ground out, fishing in his bag for some Jet, he had gone long enough without a hit and a little wasn't going to hurt. "I really don't think she would have done anything." Luella said quietly, he didn't answer her, couldn't blame her for being so easily trusting. She didn't know those freaks like he did. "Darlin', those people will literally force people into their cult if they think they can."

"Did they...try and force you?" It was innocent enough question, she was just curious, but she almost regretted asking when she saw the way his eyes continued to glow with anger. "Yeah, just after I became a ghoul in fact. Drugged me in the bar and carried me out all friendly like, no one stopped 'em cause they thought I was going of my own free will. We were half way to Natick before I came to and realized."

"I see..." She mumbled, understanding now why he was so leery of going into the crater, she wouldn't want to go near people that had tried to kidnap her either. "I wish you would have told me that sooner. We could have found the information some other way."

Hancock was quiet, she couldn't really see him clearly through the helmet so it was hard to tell if he was upset of not. Either way the subject was dropped and they moved on. Over head a rad storm picked up, green and yellow flashes of lightening spidering across the sky, the crack of it as it streaked through the air was nearly deafening. So hearing anything coming proved far harder than before. At least it was starting to get dark, John's eye sight clearing up a little and allowing him to see farther away. In the distance, probably fifteen feet below a steep hillside, he could make out a darker spot in the earth.

"I think I see the cave..." He said quietly, crouching down, "Let me see your rifle." Passing him the gun, Luella knelt next to him, trying to make out anything she could through the damned helmet. The glass was fogged from her breath, which was only that much more frustrating. "What do you see?"

"Couple of gen 1 synths...their guarding the cave entrance. Looks like our merc is already here..." He replied after a moment, wondering if he could snipe them or not, he didn't exactly have steady hands for it. Hancock tried to think of something, but his thoughts were interrupted when a gloved hand took the rifle back. His heart leapt into his throat when he saw she had taken the helmet off, already getting ready to take the shots, "Are you insane?!"

"Gotta be real crazy to survive, right?" She replied coolly, calmly taking out the first of the two patrollers, cursing when she realized she needed to reload. The second synth was quick to spot them, thanks to its robotic eyes, firing off several shots with an agitated laser pistol. John cursed, ducking out of the way of a shot that came way too close to his head. Luella didn't budge an inch, reloading the rifle like nothing was happening, aiming...firing. A shot scorched her upper arm, making her jerk with a hiss, but the synth none the less hit the ground.

A soon as it was over John fixed the helmet back on her shoulders, heart hammering in worry, "We need to get you some radaway, now!" He hissed, digging through their bags for some, ignoring the way Luella shook her head. "I'm okay...John, really. I feel fine!"

"I don't care!" He shouted at her, didn't really mean to, but he just couldn't hold it in. It was the second time he had yelled at her since they met, something about her being in danger always set him off. The raven jerked, but said nothing more. Hancock pushed the guilt away, if she wasn't going to take care of herself, then he had to. Handing her the chem, he instructed her to drink it, cringing when she pulled the helmet back off to do so.

John could see the hurt in her eyes, but now was not the time for coddling. He could apologize when they were alive and safe somewhere _not_ in the Glowing Sea. Once the helmet was back on they made their way down the hill, sneaking as quiet as possible into the cave, which was deep enough down that the rads were nearly harmless. Wasn't much to find at first, couple of destroyed turrets and some knocked down can chimes.

Again the raven removed the helmet, John not arguing with it for now, but silently handing her some Rad-X just in case. Ahead, at the entrance to a secondary cavern they could make out voices, one loud and deep, the other a familiar nails on chalk board grating.

"End of the line Virgil. Did you really think no one would find you out here?"

"Well I was damn hoping. Why can't the Institute just let me go, huh? I've no plans to interfere with them, I only want my freedom!"

There was a laugh, the cocking of a pistol. Luella nodded to John, standing up, shotguns ready, they entered the room and aimed. But didn't fire, "The only end of the line is for you Kellog." The raven said firmly, the waver in her voice nearly unnoticeable. The mercenary put his hands up, turning around slowly. His own hazmat suit helmet off, smiling like the cocky bastard he was, "Well, if it isn't my friend the frozen T.V dinner. They must have pumped you with a toxic mix of preservatives. How'd you survive your injuries? Should have bled out in a matter of hours."

The raven smirked a little, "Really think scum like you would get the pleasure of putting me in the ground?" She taunted, a little more confident than she had been the last time she had seen the bastard, she wasn't alone this time. "I'm going to make this easy...your going to tell me how to get into the Institute and I might not blow your fucking brains all over these nice walls."

Kellog laughed, whole and hard, tossing his head back. "Are you kidding me?! Kid, I ain't tellin' you dick! Your never going to see that pompous brat son of yours ever again, get over it!" The bald man shouted in his humor, the raven's temper flaring hotter than she ever remembered it getting. "FUCK **YOU** , KELLOG!!" Unthinking she just pulled the trigger, the mercenary's head exploding like a can of cram slammed into the pavement, body collapsing right there, a pool of blood and viscera around him.

Luella's blue eyes were wide, breath quick and shallow as panic weighed out the anger, realizing what she had done. John cringed, walking over to the corpse and kneeling down, "Damn...remind me not to ever piss you off." He joked halfheartedly, not yet realizing the raven was falling into an anxiety attack. Near by he spotted the second speaker from before, of all things it happened to be a super mutant, "So the Institute is hunting greenies? Must be gettin' bored, they planing synth mutants now or something?"

Virgil raised a brow above the broken glasses taped to his face, "Not exactly...I think you friend is having a heart attack." He said flatly, making John turn, seeing the raven still standing there frozen like that. "Sunshine...? You alright?" His tone was cautious, she was still holding the shotgun, the muzzle wavering dangerously. Hazy blues shot up to meet black, tears in their corners. Hancock reached out slowly, pushing the gun aside, "Calm down Darlin', slow breaths. Ya need something to take the edge off?"

Pulling an inhaler from his pocket, he held it up to her, relieved she took it and sucked down a few hits. "Don't go over board Love, gotta get home at some point." He teased lightly, hoping to get her to relax a little more. Her breathing eased up a bit, but she was starting to cry anyway, "I-I screwed up....I screwed up John!" She whimpered, falling back against the dirt wall, sliding to sit on the ground, he knelt with her. Frowning deeply, "Ya couldn't help yourself. That bastard deserved it, worse if you ask me."

"B-but Shaun...I can't...I won't...see him again..."

Something cleared its throat behind John, making the ghoul look over his shoulder, "I don't know why you want to get into the Institute. But, perhaps we can help each other out, hm?"

Hancock raised a brow of his own, not moving from his spot in front of the raven, holding one of her hands and rubbing calming circles into her palm. "I'm listening." Virgil nodded, going on to explain his plan, "I need something from my old lab inside the Institute. But, obviously, I can't retrieve it myself. So, if I help you get in, will you bring me the thing I'm after?"

The ghoul mulled it over, it was risky, but might be their only hope at that point. The raven sat up, even through the haze of the several hits of Jet could think clear enough to understand, "We'll do it. Please, this is the only hope I have of seeing my son again."

Virgil visibly cringed, "They took your son? Damn...I know they kidnapped a fair number of people. But...Well I've never met anyone related to those people." He shook his head with an almost sorrowful look, "Alright, here's what you'll need to do. Do you know what a Courser is?" The raven frowned, shaking her head as she got to her feet, even John didn't have an answer. "No surprise. Courser's are specialized hunters, their sent out when a synth escapes to bring them back, quickly and quietly. They don't leave survivors if their seen. Believe me, they are nothing to sneeze at." The greenskin explained, walking around the cave and cleaning up some of the mess to give himself something to do.

"Here's the thing, you'll need to kill one. You'll need the chip from inside their head and the data off it. With that you can intercept the relay used to get in and out of the Institute." Virgil paused, turning to them again, "The only way in and out is through the relay. Its a machine that teleports you from one place to another."

John's mouth dropped open, "Seriously?! That's how their doing it?" He gaped, crossing his arms, "Would explain why no one knows where they go."

"That's right. Their actually deep underground, beneath the old CIT ruins in Cambridge. I don't know where the Courser will be, but I can give you a way to start. Got to the CIT ruins and set you radio to the low end of the band, listen for the interference and follow it. That will lead you to the Courser. Once you get what you need come back here, I'll draw up some plans for the Signal Interceptor you'll need." Virgil paused, seemed to think about it a moment, "Just so we're clear...I don't know that it will work. I wasn't part of engineering, I was bio-science, but I'll do the best I can."

* * *

 

The storm raged on over head as they trekked across the nearly barren wasteland of the Glowing Sea, heading, for the time being, home. They had a solid lead now at least, a dangerous and possibly useless lead, but it was something. Luella moved with purpose through the storm, nearly blind from the wind and clouds of radioactive dust, but sure they were headed the right way. And John wasn't arguing, the dust clouds were killing his eyes, he was forced to trail a little behind her to see anything at all.

"Next time I'm bringing goggles, this shits ridiculous!" He shouted over the howling winds, unable to hear the raven's response between the storm and her helmet. At some point she must have stopped, because he almost knocked her down, grabbing her shoulders and peering through the mess around them. "What is it?!" Hancock said as loudly as he dared, trying to see what had made her pause.

His answer came in the horrifyingly loud roar that cut through the howling winds, a set of bright glowing eyes seeming to flare to life before them as a huge glowing deathclaw reared up on its massive legs. "What the fuck is with the deathclaws lately!?" John chocked out, grabbing her arm and pulling her to the left. He had no idea where he was going, but away from that thing was the only thing on his mind.

The pounding of huge, clawed feet barreled after them as they ran as fast as they could. "John! We need to seperate! It'll confuse it!" The ghoul growled, the sound lost in the air, "Not a chance darlin'! I nearly lost you the last time! I ain't doin' it again!"

"This is no time to be stubborn!"

"I could say the same to you!"

**_*Rooooaaar*_ **

They both skidded to a stop, staring into the abyss of the crater, cursing softly under their breath. Luella did the unthinkable, did the only thing she could think of as that deathclaw came at them like a freight train, "I love you John, don't you ever forget that!" She shoved him aside, turning to the massive beast whose claws were raised, pulling her knife from her bag. All in a few seconds, all before Hancock even hit the ground, her name on the tip of his tongue. His arms outstretched uselessly.

He could only watch in horror as that things giant claws shattered the glass dome of her helmet, catching her across the face, crimson splashing into the green radiation. Luella and the deathclaw flew over the edge of the crater, tumbling down the rocky hillside toward the center.

The raven's back slammed hard into several different rocks, several times as they bounced and rolled down the hill. She did her best to ignore the pain, latching onto the huge monster and jamming her blade into his throat, jerking her wrist to slice it open in a spray of glowing green fluids. Its body went limp, tumbling with her to a stop near the edge of the pool at the craters bottom.

Luella's body felt like it was on fire, the edges of her vision darkening. The last thing she remembered was hearing John screaming out to her somewhere in the distance and the faces of the Atom standing over her. Along with a strange figure, clad in shadows but for the glowing smile as they knelt close to her, whispering softly in her ear as she passed out.

_'It will be okay my child...be calm.'_

Hancock came skiding toward the crowd, roughly trying to shove them out of his way to reach the raven, fear tearing him up inside. Two of the Children grabbed him by his arms, pulling him back, holding him there. Mother Isolde approached him as several others carefully picked Luella's lifeless form up from the earth, taking her away to god only knew where. "Have no fear chosen one. She shall soon be judged by Atom, split in his image or burned by his glory. We shall see." She smiled like a snake who had captured quiet the meal in her scales, "Make our guest comfortable, I'm sure he'll want to watch the ceremony."

"The fuck are you psycho's talking about?! You leave her alone!" John shouted, fighting to free himself, but something landed hard against the back of his head. The world faded to black, his heart breaking with the knowledge he was likely going to loose Luella here, of all the places in the Commonwealth.

* * *

 

When Hancock came to his hands were tied tightly behind his back, on his knees in front of the pool of radiant green-yellow sludge. Two goons holding him there by his shoulders. The sight before him was one that would no doubt burn itself into his nightmares.

Six of the Children of Atom surrounded a makeshift alter which was made up of radioactive waste barrels and a thin plank of wood on top, wide enough and long enough that they had layed Luella on top of it like some sort of sick sacrifice. The bastards had redressed her too, stripped of the protective suit, she was now dressed in a thin, patched and tattered dress of what was multiple shades of dingy white. She didn't even have shoes on!

If it hadn't been in this situation she would have looked lovely. More radiant than the rads glowing in the air over head like the aurora, one arm lay lightly over her stomach, the other limp at her side palm up and fingers curled very slightly in the most elegant way. Pale features relaxed in her unconscious state.

The only relief he had in that moment was that he could tell she was still breathing at the very least, despite the obviously nasty fall it seemed like she had come out unscathed but for some minor bruises on her skin that was left exposed by the thin strapped dress.

So distracted by the imagery he didn't pay mind to what Isolde was shouting into the air, something about paying tribute to Atom or some other stupid crap. The six zealots around Luella reached out, picking the board up and carried it with them into the sludge, slowly starting to lower her in. They intended to drown her in it?! John fought again to free himself, "DON'T!! YOU'LL KILL HER! PLEASE?! STOP! DAMMIT STOP!!!"

Out of the green came the crack of a gunshot, Isolde stiffening and then falling to the ground...she was dead? Hancock froze, looking around wildly, realizing the guards were too. He took the chance, pushing himself to the side, hard into one of them, knocking the man off balance. Free from their grasp, he scrambled to his feet, jerking his wrists hard. In another circumstance it would have surprised him that the rope around his wrists snapped, but he was far more concerned for his Sunshine's well being to notice.

The Zealots had dropped her in the sludge in the chaos, more shots were fired from somewhere unseen, the Children of Atom separating into groups. One group trying to stop the Ghoul Mayor of Goodneighbor, while the others sought the shooter. "OH, I'M FERAL NOW!!!!" Hancock screamed, punching a mans teeth out, hitting him so hard his neck snapped around and broke under the impact.

In the pool, somewhere at the bottom, Luella was loosing oxygen. The burning in her lungs well out weighing the pain in her body, but she couldn't move, it was like her mind was separated from her body as she stared up through the glow, making out barely the darkness of the night sky in the sea. Bubbles drifted up from her lips, sliding toward the surface in a slow dance. Was this...the end?

A dark figure seemed to materialize before her, that glowing smile from before hovering over her, a strange calm washing over her. The burning in her lungs seemed to fade a little and her muscles ached less and less.

_'Your destiny...is not yet fulfilled...rise now my child. Show them the true fury of my radiance!'_

The voice seemed like it was everywhere and no where. A jolt passed through her, like a shock of electricity or a seriously strong hit of Psycho and she jerked to life. Kicking off from the bottom, she shot toward the surface, swimming like there was no tomorrow, feeling stronger than she ever remembered.

Breaking the glassy glow, she sucked in much needed air, rising from the mess of sludge like an avenging angel. The children closest to the pool were the first of her unlucky targets, blue eyes glowing like the full moon on acid landed on them and she launched herself at them, tearing them open with her bare hands.

Hancock elbowed another of the fuckers, looking around for the pool, trying to get to it as fast as he could. Heart racing a mile a minute. And then there she was, wild and furious, soaked in the glow of rads. The ghoul was stunned, he had never seen her like that, look so deadly and lovely all at once. "Don't get distracted!" Someone yelled, a woman's voice, rougher than a humans. Black eyes found the source close by, belonging to a female ghoul.

She was tall, probably his height, dressed in red velvet and fur with a mess of blonde hair on her scared head. Reminded him a little of Irma, except Irma was no ghoul and defiantly couldn't shoot or fight like this woman was doing. "Who the hell are you?!" He yelled over the fighting and gunshots, knocking yet another guys teeth out, dodging a few shots from somewhere in the crowd. "Does it matter?!" The woman replied, stunned he was asking right then.

"To me it does!" Hancock stepped back from a punch that would have landed in his face, surprised when Luella's image blurred past, tackling the offending female zealot to the ground. The female ghoul grimaced at the sight of the raven beating that woman into pulp, shooting a few more of them with the practice ease and grace of someone who had seen a lot of battles. "Fine! Name's Charlotte! I was passing by and thought you might need help! Happy?"

"Fair enough! Call me Hancock! We'll talk more when were out of this mess!" They nodded in agreement, John dodged another of the atom, rushing to Luella's side. He grabbed her hand and pulled her with him toward the hillside, intending to escape now. Their new friend covering them as they climbed out of the crater and headed as fast as they could in what he hoped was north judging by the moon high over head.

It was probably a mile from the crater that the arm he was pulling got heavy, forcing him to jerk to a stop, turning to find the raven falling to her knees. No doubt exhausted and more than likely in a lot of pain by the tightness in her muscles and the look in her still softly glowing blue eyes. Not exactly hazy now, more like neon blue. He knelt down beside her, Charlotte keeping a look out with out a word about it. "Darlin', we gotta keep going. Please? We need to get you out of here as quickly as we can...W-we....fuck..." He pulled her against him tightly, his vision blurred by the sorrow growing not that the fading adrenaline could no longer block it. Hancock shuddered a breath, pulling her into his arms bridal style and carrying her from then on, determined to save her.

But it didn't look good, they had lost all their things thanks to the Children of Atom, no radaway or even rad-x and she was soaked in that sludge. If she didn't end up full on ghoul like him, which didn't appear to be happening, then that meant she was dying from the shock to her system.

Hours seemed to pass before they reached the safety of Natick, the sun already rising in the sky. Neither himself nor Charlotte spoke a word, the female ghoul seemed like she didn't know what to say, her face hard the whole way. In Natick John was almost relieved to find Nicky waiting for them, the synth detective smiled at first when they approached.

Nick's smile faltered when he saw John carrying Luella's limp body in his arms, clad in that strangely lovely dress, splashed in crimson and remnants of glowing sludge. "Jesus, the fuck happened in there?!" He hissed the words, reaching them in a few quick steps, arms out in a silent offer to take the raven from the clearly tired man. But Hancock only clung tighter to her, shaking his head, breathing a little labored from the long journey there. "Nicky...fucking hell...please tell me you have some rad-away..."

The robotic man nodded, taking the bag from his shoulder and pulling the supply of the stuff he kept on him out. It was an emergency precaution, rads didn't effect him, but he carried the stuff in case of situation like this one. John knelt on his knees, half laying the girl on the ground to free his hand, popping open the IV bag with his teeth and trying to get her to drink it. His hand shook, she wasn't really breathing much and the stuff dribbled pointlessly down her chin. John swallowed against the thickness in his throat, cursing softly as he reached up to wipe the tears blurring his vision.

Nick had to pull his eyes away, unable to watch the scene, he couldn't physically cry. But he could damn sure feel his own heart breaking for the ghoul sitting there on his knees clinging to the only person he had ever given his heart to. Even the female ghoul with them had to take a step away, deciding to go stand near the police station awhile and leave them be.

Silence fell over them, the only sound the soft breeze and John's quiet sobbing. He didn't care if it made him look weak, didn't care if raiders or the Children of Atom ambushed them right then. He'd rather be dead than live without Luella. And then, like the voice of god had whispered in his ear, a small raspy voice broke the silence. A warm hand lifting to rest on his scared, tear soaked cheek, "John...what's wrong...?"

The ghoul flinched a little, opening his black eyes to gaze into dim neon blue, like the sky in summer with a hint of radiant rad yellow. "Sunshine...I...I..." He couldn't get the words out, unable to find them as she sat up on her own, as if she hadn't been dying at all just a moment ago. In fact she looked like she was waking from a long sleep or a night of drinking, rubbing her eyes a little and flinching when she aggravated the nasty cuts across the right side of her face that started in her hairline and arched at an angle past her cheek.

"Damn...that deathclaw hit me harder than I thought." She said, pulling bloodied fingers away, "How long was I out...uh...did someone change my clothes?" The raven looked down at herself in confusion, trying in vein to piece together what had happened. She heart sank when she noticed Hancock still in shocked tears, smiling as reassuringly as she could, "John, I'm okay. See? I must have just been over tired. W-wouldn't be the first time I had an anxiety attack that left me drained." She felt uncertain though, she couldn't remember much, just a glowing smile and passing out after killing that Deathclaw...

John sucked in a long breath, taking off his hat to run a rough hand over his bald head, shaking like someone had hit him too hard. "Fucking hell...I really need a hit of something strong." He breathed, the words held the tremble in his body as he put his head in his hands.

"Call me crazy, but not too smart being out in the open like this!" Called out Charlotte, still leaning against the crumbling police station, arms over her chest. Luella looked at the new ghoul in confusion and then at Nick, "Did I...did I miss something? Whose she?!"The detective shrugged, in all the mess he hadn't thought to ask, "No clue. But she's right, we should get somewhere safer to talk. I think we could all use an explanation."

 

 


	15. Setting a 'Courser' for Danger

That night they arrived at _'The Castle',_ the Minutemen stronghold that Luella had so painstakingly strived to restore before her in-explicit memory lose. It was the first time since before that she had come back there, it looked much better now than it had then. At least more of the walls were repaired and lined with turrets.

The guards at the gate looked fairly surprised when they on their approach, coming out to meet the group, armed to the teeth like they thought it was some kind of attack. But both looked flabbergasted when they recognized Luella, "G-General?! What a surprise to see you ma'am! We weren't expecting a visit!" One of them, a young woman of maybe thirty said, lowering her gun. "I'll inform Colonel Shaw at once!"

Luella only nodded, not really saying much. Hell none of them had said much on the trip and it might have been fucking awkward if she hadn't felt so tired. Her feet hurt like hell, muscles were sore like someone had put her through a ringer. And the only thing she could figure was it had something to do with that Deathclaw, seeing as John wasn't even trying to explain anything.

In his defense he seemed to still be in a lot of shock, hitting his inhaler every few minutes like a life line until they crossed the threshold into her private quarters at the fortress. The four collapsed into various bits of furniture. Herself onto the double wide bed, John the love seat. Charlotte a chair and Nick leaned up on the wall with his arms crossed.

Hancock had a weird smile on his face, "I always wanted my own fortress." The words were half slurred, clearly he was much higher than normal. Not a pleasant thought. The raven sat up, pulling her legs in so she was sitting crossed legged on the bed. Wanting to change, but not with so much company. "Alright. Someone start talkin'. Clearly Hancock's not going to explain and our resident general is in the dark."

Charlotte smirked, knowing full well he was talking about her, the ghoul took her time lighting a cigarette and huffing a cloud of the stale smoke out. "Considering I only caught the ass end of it? I was wandering past the crater on my way into Boston when I over heard that guy screaming like mad for her." She pointed at Luella, giving her a strange, searching look. "Those crazy rad suckers had her laying out on a table like a slab of meat for dinner and dumped her into the waste like soup ingredients. So I stepped in to offer a hand. Next thing I know she's rising out of the glow like some kind of sea beast tearing those freaks apart like a deathclaw on psycho."

Luella's heart sank a little, wondering why she had done that and worse why she couldn't remember any of it. Charlotte continued to explain that the raven had fainted a mile from the crater and had seemed to have died by the time they even reached Natick, said she didn't seem to be breathing at all. And then she had just woke up like nothing had happened.

The female ghoul took another long drag of smoke, "I gotta say...I've spent years studying my kind and those rad-freaks who can live in that shit and not look like this. But you? Your something new. I have never seen anything like that."

The general looked away, understanding now why John had been so upset earlier. After a minute or two she looked up at Nick, "We'll rest here a few days. Nick, thanks for the help, but where we're going next might not be such a great idea for you to tag along. Do you mind going back to Sanctuary or Diamond City until I contact you again?"

"Sure thing kid. Just be careful okay...And ugh...stop scaring him, yeah? I don't think he can keep that shit up." The old synth gestured to Hancock, laying there on the love seat upside down with a loopy look on his face. She only nodded, he didn't need to tell her that for her to know she needed to learn to be more careful. Apparently she still had a few too many death wishes.

"Charlotte...uh...Your welcome to stick around I guess. Talk to the vendors here and tell them your supplies are on me. It's the least I can do for your help."

The ghoul woman smirked and nodded, getting up and doing this sweeping bow, "Aye aye captain." Before walking out and shutting the doors behind her.

The hiss of the inhaler made Luella cringe, slipping off the bed and crossing the room to yank the Jet from John's fingers with a dark look, ignoring the glare he gave her. "Stop it. Please? Your scaring me."

He laughed harshly at her, flipping over on the love seat to sit properly, "Scaring you? Do you have any idea how fucking scared I was this morning? I thought you were fucking dead?!" He was shouting again, the words still slurred though, he was still high as a kite. But his tone still cut at her like knives and she pulled her arms around herself in a feeble form of defense, looking at the ground, "I was only trying to protect you." She replied in a calm, even voice, jerking a step back when he got to his feet suddenly. "Fuck that! What about you huh?! The hell do you think I would do if you had died?!" His voice echoed on the stone walls, outside the door shuffling feet could be heard, no doubt her men making sure she was okay.

Physically she was fine. But her heart hurt at the harshness, she understood his anger, she would have been angry too. But still, "What was I supposed to do?! Let that thing tear you apart?! You did the same to protect me when we we're heading into Sanctuary the first time! I thought that thing had killed you!" Her voice rose steadily until she was left shouting too, hot tears streaking down her cheeks, "Your all I have left John! If you died I'd have nothing holding me here. Not even Shaun...The only thing we have left to lose is each other...."

Hancock seemed stunned, stepping back a bit at her words, the deafening truth in them. "He's your son." The ghoul pointed out, not sure why. She shook her head, "I know that...and I love him. But he wouldn't even know who I am...wouldn't be hurt if I died." Luella realized that sounded a bit cold, but it was the truth. "I'm not going to stop looking for him John. But if I lost you...I'd probably let the Institute kill me in the end once I was sure Shaun was okay."

It was quiet a moment and the ghoul slowly sank back to sit down, not sure what to say, his head spinning from so much more than a strong chem haze. "I love you John...with all my heart. I'm not going to be dying anytime soon...you...you need to trust me." With that she turned, grabbing some spare clothes from a rickety old dresser and leaving him alone in the room to think and come down from the high.

The door creaked open after some time, Charlotte striding into the room and pulling up a chair, sitting there all posh with one leg over the other in the long tattered red skirt she wore. "So...you two are close?" The question was nonchalant, but held a strangely taunting tone. Hancock narrowed black eyes, his expression held an easy smile, but it was guarded all the same. "What's it matter to you?"

She shrugged, playing with her silver lighter, "Just curious I guess. Are you going to answer the question or can I assume your a free man?"

* * *

 

Luella went straight to the makeshift showers they had installed sometime after retaking the Castle. They were just crude pipes with valves that spilled out a decent stream of water, the problem being that the water was always cold as hell, but anything was better than nothing and she really wanted a chance to clear her head. And get the left over sludge out of her hair.

Afterward she was left a near frozen Popsicle, drying as fast as she could and slipping into the ratty shorts and torn shirt she had brought, rubbing her arms to warm back up. Walking briskly down the corridors, vaguely trying to find something to distract herself, not yet ready to face John after their would be fight. The settlement doctor stopped her as she passed the woman's stand, concern on her face, "General, ah, would you let me take a look at those cuts? I don't want you to get them infected and I was just informed you came from the Glowing Sea recently."

The raven blinked, nodding slowly after a moment and moved to take a seat at the little table and chairs the doctor had set up. The other woman got out some antiseptic, cotton, and tweezers, sitting across from the General to set to work cleaning the marks across her face. The stuff stung, badly, but she did her best not to flinch. "How did you get these?"

"Deathclaw...Got the jump on us."

"And you managed to escape with only this? That's amazing!"

The raven nibbled her lip a little, "Not really...I think I was hurt worse than just this, but I don't remember much. I got knocked out after rolling down a pretty steep hill." The doctor made a face, "How long ago was this?"

"Uh...yesterday? Why?" The doctor sat back, still looking at her strangely, before getting up to dig through her supplies for something. "Well...because those marks are almost healed...b-but they look at least a week or so old. Did someone give you a Stimpak maybe?"

Luella shook her head as the doctor walked back over with a dirty old mirror, passing it to her, "I'm not sure, like I said I don't remember much between then and waking....up in...Natick." The words trailed away as she looked more closely at the marks, wondering if, in fact someone had given her a Stimpak. But her eyes were drawn from the marks by something a bit more alarming, like the way her hair looked ten times lighter, not quiet gray but not exactly black anymore. Worse was the weird brightness to her eyes, like they had bulbs behind them or something. Much like the eyes of a feral ghoul, but blue.

Shakily she set the mirror down, wondering exactly what that radioactive sludge had done to her. She didn't feel sick or fatigued like she had in Cambridge, if anything she felt giddy and energetic. The raven took a slow breath and got up, thanking the doctor and walking away, heading back to her quarters to perhaps talk to John about it.

* * *

 

Back in the General's Quarters Charlotte had gotten up from her chair, walking toward the other ghoul in the room with purpose. "What the hell are you playin' at?" He said in a low tone, watching the woman warily as she drew closer, "I told you, I want an answer. Are you free or not?"

Without a second thought she was sitting in his lap, knees on either side of his hips, her arms draped around his waste. The look in her eyes was something like challenge, but the smile on her face faltered a bit when she felt a blade pressed to her throat. She hadn't even seen him draw it. "Listen doll, I ain't lookin' to add more blood to my hands, but you keep it up and I'll gladly add your name to the fuckin' list."

Charlotte cooed, "Oooh...feisty and stubborn. Exactly my type..." Undeterred she sat herself back slightly, "So...not free or just not interested?"

Hancock opened his mouth to reply, a snarky come back on the tip of his tongue, but he chocked on it when he saw someone in the doorway. Those blue eyes pierced him like knives, the hurt in them almost tangible, the anger like fire. Charlotte followed his gaze, smirking, "Oops."

Luella grit her teeth, the color in her eyes flaring brighter as she looked to her desk, striding over to it as Charlotte retreated from John's lap like a thief who had been caught red handed. Yanking the first drawer on the left side open, she pulled out a 10mm pistol and cocked it, aiming at the ghoulish woman in red with every intent to shoot her.

Lucky Charlotte was faster, dodging out of the room as several shots were fired, embedding the lead into the concrete walls. The General would have given chase, but she figured her point was made, none the less she was likely to murder that woman the next time they met. John was on his feet, calm only because he hadn't actually done anything wrong, but cautious because he knew what it had looked like. "Luella...its not what you think."

The dark haired woman slammed the gun onto the desk, her other hand curled into a tight fist, nails biting into the skin of her palm. She shook from the anger, the hurt, "Wasn't it?" Her voice was calm, quiet, the anger barely held back. Hancock swallowed, he had seen more than once what she was capable of when she was angry and after what she had down to those zealots in the sea? He wasn't about to go out of his way to see her mad at him.

Slowly he came up behind her, not missing the tears that slipped down her pale cheek or the way her lip was trembling when he got close enough to see her face. Reaching out, he calmly wrapped his arms around her small shoulders, "It wasn't. I promise. I love _you_ , Luella. No one and nothing is going to change that." He whispered into her ear, feeling her relax slightly, leaning down to kiss her cheek. Kissing away the tears.

It was quiet a few minutes, the raven taking slow breaths to calm her nerves back down, reaching up to wipe her face with a tiny, tired smile. "Y-you should get a shower and change so I can wash those clothes..." He chuckled softly, nuzzling her shoulder with his cheek, "Yeah...probably a good idea. What are you gonna do?"

She shook her head, "I don't know..." The raven sighed, reaching up to place a hand on the others arm that was wrapped around her, eyes down cast. "I...did I really...do those things Charlotte said I did? Out in the crater?" The general asked hesitantly, turning her head slightly to look at John over her shoulder. The expression on his face was more than the answer she needed, "Yeah...you rose outta that sludge like some kind of avengin' beast or somethin'...Never seen anything like it." He said slowly, thinking back on it more clearly now without the Jet to haze the thoughts, loosing his arms so she could move.

Luella turned to face him, looking like she wanted to say something, but the words weren't coming out. He didn't need her to say it for him to know what she was thinking and he shook his head, "Your not going feral...I don't know for sure what happened out there, but your not going feral and clearly not going full ghoul like me either. You...your...your something else."

It was oddly reassuring, enough to ease her mind at least for the time being and she smiled softly, nodding. "Ghoulish then?" She was trying to be light hearted about it, make a joke of it, and John at least laughed a little at the try. "Come on, I'll keep you company while you shower."

Hancock smirked, eyes glittering a little as he followed her across the fortress toward the showers, "Oh, yeah? What's that intel exactly?" He said in a soft, teasing tone in her ear, pleased at the shiver that washed over her and the blush that dusted her face. "A conversation and a warm towel when your done. Trust me, your not going to enjoy the water." The mayor blinked, confused, but not asking. Later, he wished he would have, because the ocean out in the harbor beyond the Castle's walls was way warmer he was sure.

* * *

 

Together they headed out early the next morning for Goodneighbor, deciding to bunk down and resupply there before seeking out the Courser they needed to take down. The town seemed to be holding up well when they arrived, word quickly spreading that the mayor was back in town and before long Hancock was having to fall back into his mayoral duties that Fahrenheit couldn't really deal with.

Which left Luella a chance to just relax, sort of, deciding to go and visit Kent since she hadn't seen him in awhile.  But as luck would have it he was in his Memory Lounger, lost in a long forgotten time. So instead she just hung around the den, enjoying listening to Irma telling her about her youth and a few interesting tid bits about some of the memories she had sneaked a peak at whilst a certain Mayor was hooked into a lounger once.

"He used to be quiet the wild partier when he was a teen y'know? And boy the things he imagined when he was high were really something else!"

The raven laughed a little, sipping some purified water Amari had been nice enough to give her. The good doctor had already insisted on giving her an exam, just being sure she was in fact okay, especially after hearing about her recent encounter with the Glowing Sea and the Children of Atom. Other than her hair being a bit lighter and her eyes carrying the tell tale glow of radiation nothing had changed, she was still emitting a small amount of rads, still nothing lethal. So it eased her mind at least to know she was not a danger to anyone or in danger herself.

Eventually someone else wandered into the den, looking more than a bit warn out. Hancock leaned against the door frame at the far end of the room, watching them a few minutes, in time for Kent's lounger to open on its automated timer. A fail safe Amari had put in so the smaller ghoul didn't end up dying in there. "Looks like I'm just in time for the party." John smarted off, crossing the room and pulling up a chair beside Luella's, flipping it around so he was sitting in it backward and able to rest his hands on the back. Settling his chin on his hands, smiling in that calm manner of his.

Luella raised a brow, smirking a bit, "Considering your already high, I think the party started without us." She teased, earning a chuckle from both him and the others in the room. "Clever eye you got there darlin'. But it ain't a party with just one person, care to join in?" The raven laughed lightly and shook her head, "Maybe later." It wasn't that she didn't want to exactly, more that she wanted to keep her head on straight for tomorrow. That and her mind was already a mess without the added bonus.

John shrugged, inhaling some more of his beloved Jet, relaxing in his chair. "Suit yourself love, offers open if you change your mind." Luella shook her head, smiling softly, but the smile faltered when Kent opened his mouth with a surprised noise. "You and the Mayor an item Shroud?! I never saw that coming, this is-this is better than a comic!"

The raven blushed softly, rubbing the back of her head, about to reply only to be cut off by Irma. "'Bout time someone tamed that wild heart of his. Glad to see its a proper woman and not some tramp too!" The Minuteman General's face grew only redder as John too decided to comment about their observations, "What can I say? She just irresistible! Can even hold her own in a fight. Like she was made just for me!"

"J-John..." Luella blinked in surprise, embarrassed by the praise, the ghoul smirking like a cat at her. He leaned in to say more, but she looked up, surprising him with the calm smile that crossed her lips, "I feel the same. Like the heaven's created you for me too. Complete with a heart of gold and a strong will."

"Er!" He was frozen, black eyes wide, feeling maybe more sober than he should have. The door to the den opened, Fahrenheit calling out as she came up the hall way and in a flash John was up and gone, dashing to the back room so fast it left Luella blinking in shock as his chair fell over. Blue eyes, wide and curious, turned in the direction he had gone, wondering what was wrong. The ginger haired second in command of Goodneighbor entered, arms crossed with an annoyed look on her face, "Is Hancock in here? He's supposed to meet Marowski with me and he just up and left."

The raven slowly turned to look at her, clearing her throat, "No...uh..anything I can help with?" Why exactly was she offering? She didn't know shit about politics. And for that matter the other woman was far from fond of her. But to her surprise the woman seemed to think if over and then smirked, "Y'know, maybe you can. Come with me."

Hesitantly she got up and followed the taller woman, glancing back at Irma and looking for some kind of help, the only thing she got was Kent's encouraging shouts. She followed Fahrenheit over to the Rexford, where Marowski was waiting in a back room away from the lobby, looking more than a lot annoyed. Luella stood their awkwardly a few minutes, the man behind the desk looking more and more pissed, "Where the hell is the fucking mayor? Don't tell me that worthless chem head is too stoned to come see me?!"

Luella stiffened at the rudeness, both because she respected John highly as a mayor and as a friend, not just because he was her lover...was that even the right word for it? Shaking her head, she crossed her arms tightly, back straight and shoulders squared, looking very much like the General she was supposed to be. "Maybe he just didn't want to deal with that insubordinate tone of yours?"

The gangster narrowed his eyes at her, wither out of anger or respect for the remark was unknown, "You telling me your his stand in?" He asked in a cold voice that might have frozen a weaker willed person, "That's right. Mayor Hancock is a very busy man, so I stepped up to take over some of the slack. Now, either get to the point or I'm walking out and you can figure out your own shit."

Fahrenheit stifled a sound, hand over her mouth, it was hard to tell wither it was amusement or not. Marowski sat back in his chair, hands tangled in front of him, "Fine. I was going to make a request to barrow some men for a delivery to a guy from Diamond City for some of my chems. Lot of caps involved and I'm starting to think I got a rat so I wanted some extra guys to make sure it goes down smooth."

Luella thought the request over, trying to see if from John's eyes, but that proved next to impossible. So she tried a different approach, mutual benefit. "Say I allow it. What's in it for the Mayor or those involved? Obviously a service like this wouldn't be free."

Fahrenheit got real quiet, her green eyes wide in surprise, not expecting the raven to be so smart about it. Marowski looked a lot less pleased, leaning on his desk like he was ready to come across it and shoot the raven, "Gotta be fucking kidding me right? You want me to pay you to barrow a few bozos?"

The stand-in mayor turned to leave, waving him off nonchalantly, "If that's how you feel then deal with the problem alone." The mans jaw nearly fell open, getting up from his seat without realizing it, "Wait a minute! I didn't say I wouldn't pay!"

Luella stopped, looking over her shoulder slightly, "Better butter me up buddy, cause I'm getting tired of your rudeness."

The gang leader growled something under his breath, before forcing a smile, "Lets say I pay like...I don't know, two hundred caps for-" He paused when she pointed at the ceiling, seeing that shit eating smile plastered on her face, "Three hundred?" She kept pointing and he kept raising the amount little by little and Fahrenheit couldn't help thinking Hancock would have been damn proud to see someone giving Marowski some shit. "GAH! Fine, five hundred caps and I'll thrown in some Jet, how's that?!"

The raven's smirked widened, "Five hundred and make it psycho, then you got a deal."

"Fine!"

She turned to Fahrenheit, satisfied she had achieved the goal in mind, "You can take care of the details I'm sure?" The ginger nodded, smirking at the raven, "Sure thing, _boss_." They shared a bit of a laugh before Luella left, heading back to the den, finding John back in his seat.

The ghoul mayor grinned at her, "You look happy. Take it went well?" He asked, honestly curious about it. She sat back down, arms settled lightly in her lap, still grinning. "Yup. Marowski wanted to barrow some muscle for a job. I agreed for a small fee."

John blinked, frowning a bit, brow raised. "How small?"

Luella shrugged, looking at him from the corner of her eye, "Oh, just five hundred caps and some psycho." He chocked, coughing on his beer and spiting some of it on the floor. "Seriously?! How the hell did you manage to get him to agree to that?!" He was grinning from ear to ear at this and Irma was fighting laughter, Kent on the edge of his seat.

"I threatened to walk out and leave his ass hanging because he was being so rude. Didn't leave him much choice."

"Your a devil darlin'! I love you!" Hancock laughed, almost falling out of the chair. Luella blushed a little, "I'd sure hope so. Considering...what happened in that old motel in Natick." She said the last bit in his ear, feeling strangely brave after the conversation with Marowski. The mayor turned dark red, easily noticeable in the lightening from the room, swallowing thickly as he stiffened. But the embarrassment passed quickly and he smirked, eyes challenging, "Tellin' me you want an encore darlin'? I'd be happy to oblige."

The raven blushed darkly herself, surprised at how quick he recovered, but it was no wonder, was it? Luella swallowed, forgetting for a few seconds where they were, getting lost in the tranquil darkness of his eyes, "Maybe I am." She whispered as he leaned in, ready to catch those pink lips.

"As much as I love a good romance, I think this is more than I want to see!" Kent blurted, getting up and dashing to his room, slamming the door. The two love birds jumped, separating with startled glances around the room. Irma laughed out loud at this, "Got to agree with little Kent. You two should get a room, seriously!"

John rubbed his neck, face a little hot, "Sorry, got carried away. I'd love to take this to the State House, but I can't without Fahrenheit cornering my ass with more requests." He sighed, leaning over the back of the chair with a heavy sigh, looking pretty stressed out. The raven frowned a little, she wondered how he had managed all this before. "Maybe...maybe I could take care of it? I handled Marowski pretty well and you seem a lot more tired than me after what happened out...there..." She was referring to the sea of course, to be honest she felt great, wither from the long nap or something with the rads was anyone's guess.

Hancock hummed a little, "Not that I don't think you can handle it...but a lot of people are already still on the fence about me leavin' and if I completely avoid them it'll make shit worse." Not that he was in any hurry to take care of shit either and if he were completely honest he didn't care that much about what they thought. "But you can't take care of things hiding here." Irma pointed out, smirking a bit when he shot her a glare.

"Well...I tell you what...if you get everything handled I'll give you a surprise tonight, hows that?"

John blinked, turning his dark eyes on the raven beauty, his little addiction. A slow smile curved his lips, "Alright, you got a deal." In no hurry he got up, leaning over and placing a chaste kiss to her lips, before walking out.

* * *

 

It was pretty late by the time he finished, dragging his ass into his room at the state house to find Luella leaned up against the backboard of his bed. She was asleep, laying there like she had been waiting for him, on the edge of the bed at a sort of odd angle. He had no doubt that was exactly the case too. Smiling fondly, he kicked off his boots, slowly taking a seat on the bed and just watching her. So at peace or at least he thought she was till he saw the moisture in her lashes, the tears that slipped silently from her eyes to soak into the sheets.

Frowning deeply, he reached out to touch her face, hesitating a little when he looked at the scared skin of his own hand. A dark little voice in his head taunted him, whispered about how disgusting he was to tarnish such perfection with his touch. "John..." Startled by his own name, he blinked back the terrible voice, seeing Luella still asleep. She must have been dreaming of him. Or was it a nightmare?

A small whimper left her, sounding borderline like a sob, her fingers twitched where they lay beside her. Slowly he reached out, touching her at last and gently wiping the tears from her cheek, those lovely blue eyes fluttering open. "...John?"

"Mornin' Sunshine..." He whispered to her, leaning in and kissing her softly, humming happily against her lips. "You were cryin', everything okay?" The raven reached up, wiping the remaining moisture from her face, blinking at the tears that clung to her fingers, before shaking her head. "It was just a bad dream then..."

"Wanna tell me about it?"

She took a deep breath, hesitating as she looked away from him, "I...the Institute captured both of us, they...they were going to kill you and I couldn't do anything to stop them."

Hancock mulled over the information, before smiling reassuringly, "Don't gotta worry about me darlin', I ain't lettin' no Institute bastard take me out. They ain't worthy of it." He succeeded at least in getting a smile out of her, though she was crying a little through it, "G-good."

"Need to get some rest, got a dangerous day ahead of us."

Luella mumbled something in agreement, scooting over so he could join her in bed, wrapping his arms around her calmly. "So...what was the surprise going to be?" He asked curiously, suddenly a little too giddy to sleep. "I-I was going to offer to give you a massage and maybe get high or something with you...nothing too crazy." She replied, to which he chuckled softly in her hair, kissing the top of her head. "Mmm, maybe I can get a rain check? That sounds kinda fun."

"Sure...I think I can handle that."

* * *

 

It was early the next morning that they headed out, well before most would notice, good thing too because John had yet more requests by the time he awoke. Fahrenheit waiting outside his office like a bird of pray, not that she was too worried when he told he would get to them later.

Out in the ruins it was surprisingly quiet, since the super mutants outside Goodneighbor had been taken care of some time ago, the only real threat were the gunners and for the most part they didn't say much to them as they passed. For two very good reasons. The first was a simple agreement between the good Mayor and them to go about each others business without interference so long as that business was not related. And the second?

Because Luella's face was becoming pretty well known after the whole taking down the Swan thing. They were well aware she was an excellent marksman and nearly as crazy to match. Basically she had been stamped as someone not to be fucked with.

"Its actually a nice day...maybe this will go okay?" The raven said softly, fiddling with the radio on her broken _Pip-Boy_ , shuffling through the little music she kept on her, wasn't often she got to listen to it lately. Given their constant pension for dangerous situations over the past weeks. Settling on a rather up beat song she smiled softly, nostalgically as she softly sang along to the lyrics, it was only the second time John could remember hearing her sing.

" _Its like an ocean has come between us, treading water, we're sinking and I can't swim_." She hummed the music between the words, getting a little more passionate as it went along. " _Never spoken, but i can see it in your eyes. Colours fading, the whole world turns black and white. Beaten, bruised and torn. What are we fighting for_?" The raven looked up at him, eyes glittering in that way he had missed the past weeks, that way he had fallen in love with in the first place, " _Do you love me? No, i cant do this alone. We can win this war. Just you and me, us against the world! I know you're doubting, you feel like giving up, nearly drowning. Gasping for one last breath_."

Hancock smirked, shaking his head a little, he tangled his fingers with hers. "Sounds about on point. We can do this darlin', somehow, we'll make it happen together." He reassured, wither it was her he was assuring or himself was uncertain. And there really were a lot of uncertainties in their lives. She hummed along a few minutes, looking off with a distance in her eyes he didn't think he could get used to, "Nate used to like this song...he played it for me a lot to keep my spirits up when I was struggling...Its...still weird knowing he's gone...I wonder sometimes what he would think of me now."

The ghoul looked ahead of them, frowning softly, wishing he knew what to say. He only knew Nate from her memories, so he couldn't really make a proper judgement. He did wonder what the man would think of himself though, of the person his wife had chosen to give her heart to now. Would he be disgusted? He squeezed her hand tighter, feeling her squeeze back lightly, "Sorry...I didn't mean to bring him up...can't imagine that's anymore comfortable for you than it is me."

He shook his head, looking down at her, "Don't worry 'bout it. Normal to remember the ones ya loved in the past, right? Wouldn't be like I don't wonder about my parents once and awhile...or Guy. Even if that lardhead's not dead."

"I suppose so..." Silence fell between them as they reached the CIT ruins, John keeping a wary watch as Luella turned the radio to the low end of the band, listening closely. Walking around a little until she indeed noticed a small interfering pattern in the static. "There, I hear it! This way!"

Together they followed the sound, which lead them through a small mass of raiders, easily taken care of with a few shots from the raven's new rifle. They had had to replace all their weapons thanks to the Children Of Atom, but that was a small price to pay, still Hancock was disappointed she had lost that rifle with the name on it he had given her. He was curious as to wither he could get the new one engraved without her knowing or not.

The signal lead them to the old Greentech building, inside of which they found the bodies of some recently deceased Gunners. Crouched near one at an old reception desk the raven Minuteman General checked over the corpse, "No blood...looks like someone was using a laser rifle."

"That'd be our Courser I bet."

She nodded in agreement, moving for the nearest staircase, only to jump and freeze at the sound of a fight breaking out somewhere on a floor over head, startled by the sudden noise. The intercom coming to life soon after and an urgent male voice instructing the other gunners upstairs, that indeed a Courser was heading up after something, a girl apparently. Weird.

"Come on, maybe we can trail them without getting noticed since their busy." She suggested, to which her companion smirked, "Yeah, let these idiots wear him down and we can finish him off and get that chip."

They snuck up the stairs, finding themselves crossing a brightly lit atrium, no sooner we're they halfway to the entrance on the other side than they were spotted and the shooting started. John took much of the frontal assault, taking the attention off the raven while she sniped who she could from the background. At least till a cover was lifted from a window, revealing a turret, forcing them both to move in unison again to avoid getting shot to pieces.

They pressed themselves to the low wall beneath it, out of its range since the barrel couldn't aim that low. Luella growled over the sparks hitting the window seal inches over them, "Gotta fucking be kidding me! The hell is wrong with these son of a bitches!?"

"No idea! I think their spooked! They probably think we're more Coursers!" Hancock shouted back, trying to figure out how to poke his head up and shoot the turret without getting his head blown off. The raven scoffed at his observation, "The hell do Coursers look like?! I really doubt the Institute makes synths of small women and ghouls!"

"Good point!" The turret ceased fire a moment and he dared stick his head up, only to have his hat blown off, ducking back down with a growl. "Fuck! That's my only hat!" Luella was about having enough of this, lunging forward by pushing off the wall, she rolled. Flipping onto her knees and turning deftly, aiming and firing two shots. Several bullets grazed her but she paid it no mind, her shots landing and the turret exploding. Letting out a relieved breath, relaxing her shoulders a moment, "Dammit, I hope the rest of the buildings not hot wired or something."

Hancock laughed a bit, walking over and retrieving his only slightly scuffed tricorn, placing it back on his head. "Nice shootin' darlin', keep that up and these guys don't got a prayer." The ghoul said, walking up to her as she dusted herself off, looking a bit ruffled. "Yeah, well I better find that fucking Courser intact enough to get that chip or they may have to start praying cause I might end up burying them all." Nodding toward the doorway, the two moved on, fighting more turrets and Gunners along the way to the upper most floors of the building. 

They were inside an elevator, on their way to what they hoped was their goal. Luella leaned against the wall, catching her breath, "This is ridiculous...How many floors are in this fucking building, we got to be to the roof by now!" She huffed, wiping sweat and blood from her brow, wincing at a cut she hadn't noticed. "Y'know, I think I've got more scars from the past week than I have over a lifetime."

"Mmm, dunno about that. But those little battle scars from that deathclaw are kinda intense lookin', I'm starting to sort of like them." Hancock teased as he leaned against the wall next to her, reloading his shot gun, prepared for anything when that elevator stopped. She blushed a little in the dark, smiling a tiny bit, "Hope so, cause I'm keeping them. I think they make me more intimidating."

The mayor laughed a bit, "Darlin' you trippin' out on psycho is enough intimidation for anyone. 'Sides, tell 'em your the _Silver Shroud_ and they might shit their pants." Luella got a wild look in her eyes, sparkling a bit like Kent's did when someone brought up the tommy gun toting hero. "That's an excellent idea! Maybe I should use my Silver Shroud threats more, scare people into submission!" The ghoul blinked, "I uh, didn't mean it like-"

The doors parted before he could finish and she was on the move, a whole new jolt of energy in her step. They came into a round room, some kind of cage with computers in the center and around the edges, above them a catwalk for the second floor. They could make out several people begging for their lives and a calm mans voice asking for a password or something. Luella tried to see what was happening using her scope, but it was impossible. She mouthed for John to follow her, not that he needed the prompting to do so, and headed up to the next floor.

Shouldering her rifled, she pulled out her 10mm pistol she had brought back with them from the Castle, aimed and ready when the door to the upper floor opened. Before them was about six gunners, three against the wall and three on their knees, one of them against the wall had his head in pieces around him. A single man stood among them, dressed all in black, with dark glasses. He frowned at them, facing them like they were not pointing guns at him. "Are you here for the synth?"

Luella smirked, "Nope, I'm here for you shit for brains. I want that chip in your head. You can either die peacefully-"

"Or we can tear it from your head while your still breathin'" Hancock finished, finger hovering over the trigger of his shotgun, ready for a fight. The Courser frowned deeply, looking pointedly at the raven, "You are the one who is trying to get into Institute?" He reached into his coat and pulled out a stealth boy, flipping open the lid, "The synth is no longer my prime objective, initiating new objective. Code-name: Mother." He pressed the button before either John or Luella could process that, vanishing from sight, only his movements could be heard echoing faintly.

"Shit shit!" The raven cursed, starting to panic as she turned this way and that trying in vein to find the Courser. Hancock cursed as well, backing toward the railing of the cat walk to narrow the synths range of attack, "Don't panic! Look for the wavering in stuff, the blur when shit moves, that's where he is!" Despite the encouraging advice he wasn't having anymore luck then she was, least till he saw the tell tale blur a little too late in front of him, letting out a yell as he was pushed over the railing. Barely having time to grab the edge of the catwalk, his shot gun clattering loudly to the floor below.

"Sunshine, look out!"

She was already moving to help him, skidding to a stop when something shifted the world before her, realizing it was the blur from the stealth boy. She raised her gun, fired, blood exploding from the synth shoulder and giving her something more solid to focus on. But he knocked the gun from her hand, making her stagger back, cursing the whole way. "G-get away from me!"

Luella tried to keep her calm, but it was useless, the panic was overwhelming as the Courser grabbed her wrist in a vice grip that she swore was crushing her bones. Trying to yank her wrist free, wide neon blue eyes searched for her beloved ghoul, but he was still struggling to pull himself back up. The edge of the catwalk was unfortunately slightly rounded, making it far more difficult. His black eyes flared with sliver glow as the stealth boy ran out of juice, revealing the synth who had the raven in its grasp. "Son of bitch! You fuckin' let her go or so help me I'll tear you apart with my bare hands!" He was hoisting himself up at last, as the synth ignored him and seemed to be talking to no one particular.

The world seemed to drag like a hit of some strong Jet, "This is Z2-47, ready to relay with target code-name 'Mother'." Luella's heart sped in her chest, she reached for the only weapon she had left, a combat knife. Jamming it with full force into the synths chest, the man letting out a hiss of obvious pain, but his grip only tightened.

John was only steps away, screaming at her, the sound like it was through some sort of thick filter. A blinding light...and she was gone. Only a scorch left in the ground where she had just been.

Hancock stood there, eyes wide, slowly sinking to his knees. She was gone. His Sunshine was gone. Just like that...

 


	16. Fragile Vestages of Freedom

"She's burnin' up!" Somewhere she could hear someone yell angrily, the sounds of shuffling and the feeling of something soft coming up to meet her as she was laid down. Someone else spoke, but their voice was farther away, harder to make out. "The hell do you mean she wasn't sleepin'? She...she took how much...Jesus fucking...and no one even _tried_ to stop her? For fucks sake she could have overdosed!"

John was beside himself, the last twenty-four hours had been a total nightmare of a roller coaster. First Marowski had captured and beat him half to death, killed half the people loyal enough to stand against the gang banger, in front of Hancock no less. Tried to hang him. Now this?!

He finally had his Luella back, his precious Sunshine, but she was far from in good condition. Alive, sure. For now. She was burning a nasty fever and he had just been informed she had refused food or sleep the last **three** days she had been in the Institute. The only thing she had ingested had been several bottles, yes **BOTTLES** , of Buffout and way more inhalers of Jet than this blonde dude could actually remember. "Why the fuckin' hell didn't someone make her eat or take the shit away?!" He screamed at the man, searching his room for a certain kind of inhaler, not jet. Atom forbid! Additcol. Luella was in desperate need of some, he could only pray it would be enough. That this was just withdrawals. Not her body slowly shutting down.

The blonde rubbed his arm uncomfortably, "I did try. But she got violent when anyone came near her bag or _her_ for that matter. She was constantly on edge. She was terrified, it was her only way to coping. If the synths even looked at her she got defensive like they had it out for her." He pleaded, flinching as something went sailing passed his head, trying to wrap his mind around this whole mess. Around the fact this man was his brother. His _little_ brother. He had changed so much, so drastically. "Dammit John, please!? I really did try!" The blonde shouted, surprised at himself for loosing his temper, he hadn't in years.

The ghoul in front of him stiffened, turning very slowly to look at him, clutching the little inhaler he had been searching for in a death grip, silver sparking in his eyes. "First of all... **She's** the only one allowed to call me that." He pointed at the panting raven on his bed six feet away, "And second...How the **fuck** do you even know my first name?" He supposed the raven might have let it slip, she was so used to calling him by his first name, but it still felt so...something was off here and he could feel it.

The blonde opened his mouth, closed it and opened it again, before gritting his teeth. "I...I'm..." He began, but a soft whimper from the bed made them both look over, whole conversation forgotten in an instant. Luella's face was twisted in a semblance of pain, curling up slightly onto her side, reaching up to clutch the pillow she was laying on with trembling hands. Her muscles relaxed a little as she nuzzled the fabric, inhaling the familiar scent, "John...?" She murmured, blue eyes fluttering tiredly, searching for the ghoul the smell belonged to. The relief when she found him was tangible, glowing in her eyes like gentle moonlight.

The ghoul who slumped his shoulders a little, crossing the room and settling on the edge of the bed, running a hand through her damp hair, felt nearly as relieved to see her awake. "Mornin' Sunshine...How ya feelin'?" He asked softly, somewhere behind him the blonde stared at him, seeing clearly the love John had for the girl laying there. Something twisted in his stomach, a nervous feeling as he felt like he was intruding on a private moment. Awkwardly he stepped out, shutting the door most of the way behind him, deciding this moment was not one he should be permitted to see.

The raven groaned a little, her head was pounding, "Like someone kicked me in the head a few too many times." He shook his head with a gruff laugh, smiling slightly, but the humor didn't reach his dark eyes. "Here, take this love, it'll help. You'll sleep easier."

She pushed away the inhaler and shook her head, looking suddenly terrified, jerking up in bed. "No, no no...!" The words were a babbled and incoherent mess as she scooted into a sitting position, pulling her knees against her chest. "I can't! I can't! I don't want to sleep!"

"Love..." He wasn't sure what to do, why was she so afraid? He knew the answer, the moment he thought that question, knew exactly what she was scared of. After a moment it clicked. The most obvious and reasonable thing to come to his mind. She was scared he wouldn't be there when she woke, that _she_ wouldn't be **there**. Reaching out and gently pulling her against him, "I'm not goin' anywhere Luella...I swear when you wake up I'll be right here. I ain't lettin' em take you again." He said softly, whispering more sweet little nothings in her ear in hopes of calming her down. It worked, for the most part, but she didn't seem any closer to sleep, despite being clearly exhausted. "Ya gotta sleep darlin'..."

The raven shook her head, biting at her lower lip hard enough to break the skin that had only just stopped bleeding, "Can we...can we just relax on the couch awhile instead? I-I'm just not ready to go to sleep." She wasn't ready to leave him yet, even for sleep, the few days apart had been complete agony. It had been almost more than she could take, hell she could barely remember half of it. Little bits and flashes of being followed around by X6 and the few conversations with Shaun and...Guy.

Luella's eyes went wide and she looked around the room, not seeing the tall blonde anywhere, biting her lip harder. She could taste the copper, feeling the slight pain, it helped ground her a little. "John, that man I was with, where is he?" The ghoul had been about to say something but instead sighed, looking behind him at the partly closed door, "I imagine he went in there...real weird one that guy. Where'd you pick him up?"

She shook her head, slipping her legs over the side of the bed and taking the mayor's hand, pulling him with her toward his sitting room. Or at least she tried to, getting perhaps three or four feet before her strength waned, a nasty dizzy spell hitting her hard and almost knocking her off her feet. Luella stumbled and John cursed, catching her around the middle and holding her up against his chest, "At least eat somethin'?" He pleaded, relieved when she softly agreed, letting him help her to the sitting room where indeed the blonde was waiting on one of the two couches.

Guy smiled halfheartedly at her, his hands clasped tight between his knees, worrying his fingers as he leaned a little forward. She took a seat as John stepped downstairs to talk to one of the watchmen, never exactly out of her sight for fear she might panic, instructing them to go to the Third Rail and grab some food. And some drinks on him if the guy so wanted.

Back on the couch, Luella had curled her knees up, that nervous way of keeping herself at least semi-calm and that was how John found her when he returned. His jaw tightened, he hadn't seen her this messed up since Fin's little buddies kidnapped her. She had been making such leaps in confidence he almost forgot how fragile she could get and it begged the questions in his mind, what had happened in the Institute to fuck her up like this? Taking a seat near her, giving her the space if she needed it, he shucked his coat and lay it around her shoulders. "I think we need to talk darlin', might help ya if nothin' else." He broached lightly, not wanting to push too hard yet.

Luella pulled the jacket a little closer around herself, inhaling deep, calm breaths of that distinct scent that was all John Hancock. She knew full well what he wanted to talk about, but she wasn't ready, probably would never be truly ready. But her blue eyes flickered to the blonde across from them and back to the ghoul next to her, a semi-happy smile on her lips, "You asked where I found this man? I met him in the Institute...He asked me to help him track someone down, someone he knew before he was taken from his home here in the Commonwealth."

Hancock blinked, black eyes flickering to the blonde man, narrowed in curiosity. His previous questions temporarily thrown to the back burner in his mind, clearly she wasn't ready if she was changing the subject, "You were abducted? I didn't think they kept anyone they took alive." The blonde smiled a marginal amount, "I...got lucky I guess."

"So...who ya lookin' for pal? I won't say I'm too good at trackin' people, but I know a lot of people that are." John continued, pulling out a cigarette, giving his hands something to do. He didn't mind lending a hand to someone when they needed it and if this guy was looking for someone he was separated from, then he was more than happy to lend a hand. After all, he of all people could understand. Lighting the cigarette, he took a long huff of stale tobacco. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Luella reaching for a canister of Jet and frowned, placing his cigarette between his lips and reaching out to stop her, "Darlin', I understand ya wanna quick calm, but you don't need that right now." He chided quietly, before pulling out the Addictol he had tried to give her before, placing it in her hands instead.

She made a face, confused for a moment, before it dawned on her what it was he was giving her. Looking away, a little ashamed for some reason, but none the less taking the stuff. It would take some time to take full effect, but it still relaxed her a bit, at least she didn't ache as much or feel nearly as sick. If only she didn't feel so tired or on edge. Despite being back, the edgy feeling seemed to linger, the nagging fear they would come for her and drag her back ever present in her mind.

Guy was mulling over his words, uncertain still of this whole situation, but as he thought about it...About the little brother he had been taken from. About John, so young and still so impressionable, so brave and strong, but still so weak. Looking up at the man before him, the clearly strong and good, confident man he had become. Maybe not the one he expected...he smiled. "We found him. Turns out he was someone she knew. Very well from what I'm gathering."

The raven blushed at the innuendo, smiling a little, not denying or confirming anything. John looked rather confused, "Someone wanna fill me in or are you two planing on playin' mind games all day?" He replied with annoyance in his voice, looking between them.

The blonde cleared his throat, "Well I was looking for my little brother. I was abducted from our home about fifteen years ago, see?" Luella turned more fully toward John when Guy spoke, taking his hand, knowing deep down this wasn't exactly going to be easy on him. "John...Mayor McDonough _is_ a **synth**...Your brother was replaced."

Hancock narrowed his eyes, jaw tightening with a clear anger boiling under the surface, "How'd you find that out? No...I can't believe that, not for a second. There's no way they could copy that fat moron that closely." The raven looked suddenly nervous, glancing at the blonde man on the other couch who looked bewildered and just as lost, "Its...its true John, because I found Guy, the **_real_** one." She stressed the word real, hoping it would convince him, but it only succeeded in making him madder.

The ghoul jerked away from her, standing up from the couch, looking like he was ready to hit something. And despite knowing him so well, knowing how much he loved her, her mind flashed an image of him hitting her and she cowered a little. Looking stung as he spoke, "Bullshit! That's complete fuckin' bullshit! I don't know what the fuck you've been hallucinating, but my brother was not replaced!" Why was it so hard to believe that? Guy had changed, so completely, seemingly over night. He acted weird, smiled strange. But there was just no way, was there?!

Guy's dark blue eyes shot to the raven, seeing the clear hurt in her eyes and the way she seemed to cave in on herself at John's rejection, the way the ghoul pulled from her like she was poison. Luella struggled to remain calm, shakily pulling her arms around herself again, eyes shining with unshed tears. "John...I didn't make this up while I was high. You know I wouldn't make something like this up...I know how much you-" The raven was losing her resolve in the face of his anger, so Guy firmly lifted his eyes to the ghoul's.

"You fell in the river when you were eight and almost drown. It was my fault because I convinced you there was a mermaid in the water and you leaned too far over the rocks to look, mom only got mad at you and called you a mistake. I spent all night with you trying to talk you out of running away." Guy said suddenly, slowly getting to his feet, scrambling for anything he could think of that might convince the ghoul of who he said he was. "Our parents died when you were ten, kidnapped by some stupid raiders who thought they had something of value. I took you to Diamond City because I was afraid we wouldn't survive out in the ruins without them. Y-You hated it there...always hated it. We were considered scum even by those as poor as us. But I worked my ass off to afford a little place for us just down from that synth, Nick's office."

John turned dark eyes on the blonde, his expression slowly turning astonished, but still mixed with disbelief. His heart was racing, breathing picking up a little, it was impossible for this guy to know these things. "When you were twelve you had a crush on a ghoul named Mendy that worked in the fields, I...I said some mean things about it because I was afraid people would look down on you even more then they already did." Guy sounded ashamed of that last one, "That's when you started partying a lot, sneaking off. You stopped listening to me...I...I was really scared something bad would happen to you without me. But I...I'm so proud of you John...More than I can ever really tell you. And even if you don't believe I'm who I say, I just want you to know that." The blonde gave a weak smile, eyes glimmering with honesty as he stood there, waiting, praying that John believed him.

And against his better judgement the ghoul did, his shoulders slumping  a little, he reached in his pocket and produced a Jet inhaler. Taking a good long hit, he heaved out a sigh that was visible with the fumes, "Fuck...all these years I've been mad at the wrong person. And he was a replacement all along? Jesus fucking christ, I'm so fuckin' stupid..." He slumped back onto the couch, hanging his head, putting a hand over his eyes to hide the unshed tears threatening to fall. He was ashamed at himself for not realizing it, not seeing what was so obvious. But he had been so wrapped up in himself back then if just didn't strike him at all as odd.

"Its not your fault John...you couldn't have known. The synths are...perfect replacements." Luella said softly, looking over her knees at the coffee table, a haunted look in her eyes. "She's right...Don't beat yourself up over it. The point is we're together now." John rubbed his face roughly, lifting his eyes to the blonde, smiling a little. Realizing there was a lot for them to talk about, given everything that had happened over the years to both of them.

Hancock glanced over at Luella, she was curled back up again, knees pulled tight to her. This distant look in her eyes, something was tearing at her, didn't take a genius to see that. He frowned deeply, turning partly to her, holding his arms out in invitation. Feeling guilt at acting so harshly toward her, she hadn't deserved that. Those softly glowing blue eyes flickered up to his face, a tiny smile pulling at the corner of her mouth, relief in it as she scooted over and lay her head to his chest. Her ear pressing against the ragged skin of his torso where his shirt was unbuttoned, listening to the pounding of his heart, a comforting rhythm. "Sorry I snapped at ya darlin'...just a lot to take in at once."

"I know...I understand." She murmured softly, closing her eyes and just relaxing there, letting the sound of his heart and his voice as he talked to Guy sooth her. That ever present smell of chems and gun oil surrounding her as she curled into a ball at his side, feeling warm and safe there like she hadn't in days. Eventually falling into a light sleep, fighting it for sometime till the darkness took her fully into its embrace.

John told his brother some of how he had ended up becoming a permanent part of _Goodneighbor_ , like how Guy's synth replacement had become Mayor of Diamond City and forced out the ghouls. How he had tried to help as many as he could. And the recent bit about the Slog and finding Ms. Holly alive and well along with many others. Eventually Hancock's words petered off, unable to admit yet how and why he had become a ghoul himself, that seemed so much harder when it was his own brother he was talking to.

The mayor looked off to the side in thought, his hand resting idly on Luella's head, combing his fingers through the remains of her hair that was still slightly damp from the fever still ragging in her system. He had a lot to think about. Like how he was going to manage _Goodneighbor_ after the recent events and still help Luella, he couldn't very well do both and there was no way he was letting her do any of this alone. Then again he had a feeling she had found what she was looking for, maybe not in the most pleasant manner, but he couldn't be sure. And if he was honest, and he was, she took priority over everything else to him. He didn't want to abandoned his beloved town, but things were so much more complicated now than when they had left and it was on a knifes edge wither he even still had his second in command.

He hadn't found Fahrenheit when he arrived in town a day or so earlier, no sign of her or Kl-E-O or even Daisy. Several of his loyal followers lay dead outside, but their bodies were not among them and he could only assume they either were killed elsewhere or had fled, neither was a comforting thought. Not that he blamed them if they fled, hell it took a smart person to run and fight again another day, maybe not a brave or anything to be proud of. But he knew Fahrenheit well enough to know she was a smart woman.

* * *

 

Luella was sitting in the State House, alone, staring at the empty couch across from her. She wasn't upset or anything, more confused, wondering why everything was so clean. No chems littered the surfaces of tables or counters. No dust either for that matter. The place seemed eerily abandoned. Yet far to clean. Too sterile. Slowly she got to her feet, walking down the spiral staircase, she searched the first floor. "John? Where are you?" She called out, no one, not even the guards were around. It was eerily quiet, not even the floor boards seemed to creak. Turning toward the stairs once more, she was startled to find a familiar pair of green eyes and red hair.

"Nate....?!" She chocked on his name, taking a step back in confusion and this strange mix of fear and sorrow. "How can you stand that monster? He's disgusting...why pick him over me?" Nate asked, reaching out to touch her, but she dodged him, rushing back up the stairs. Closing the doubles doors of John's bedroom and locking herself in, backing away from them with a horrified expression, her heart pounding so loud it hurt her ears and throbbed right down into her wrists.

Her back bumped something warm and she twisted around to see what it was, relieved to find it was Hancock, relaxing a small amount. "John, thank goodness! I-I was afraid I was alone here! Th-that synth is back and...and...John?!" Blood dripped slowly down his chin from his lips, staining his shirt where it dripped onto the fabric. He frowned at her, with this heart broken expression, "If...If I hadn't met you I'd still be alive. Why'd you have to drag me into your shit, huh?"

He slid to his knees, eyes falling shut as his body crumbled there on the floor and in his place stood Shaun. The sixty year old man had this twisted smile on his lips, holding a bloody dagger in his fingers, "He was a disease mother, would have only got in the way of us being a family again. Don't you see I'm helping you? You'll fail the experiment otherwise and we just can't have sloppy results."

The raven took a step back, shaking her head, "No...no...this isn't real...Someone...please...Help me?!" She was screaming at the top of her lungs, but no sound left her as hands, from all over, began pulling her down. Face's of people she knew passing before, her fathers telling her she was a failure. Her therapist telling her she needed to be readmitted, that she was a danger to everyone. Nate blaming her for losing Shaun and getting him killed. And then Pickmen, that horrible man was standing over her, knife in hand and about to cut her open, an empty canvas near by. "No sense wasting such a lovely muse."

* * *

 

John drank at his beer slow, just enjoying it for once, even if it didn't taste too good. Guy was filling himself up with some good old Commonwealth staples, like grilled Brahman and whiskey, humming like a fool. "Been ages since I had real food!"

"I bet. Can't imagine what those nuts in the Institute consider food..." Hancock commented, laughing a little, but the sound quieted after a second or two. Black eyes flickered down to the raven still resting against his chest, frowning when he noticed the way her whole body seemed to seize up, stiffening so suddenly. The smallest whimper left her lips and he set his drink down, carefully shifting to sit up a little more, cradling her. "Love...wake up..." He said quietly, but when she didn't wake he tried again, a bit louder. "Darlin'? Come on, open your eyes."

Nothing. Fear settled in his gut, remembering what had happened that time Mama Murphy had helped her recover her memories. "Luella! Gotta open your eyes Sunshine, for me, please?!" Hancock murmured urgently, shaking her a little, relieved when her blue eyes shot open. Tears formed almost at once, slowly sliding down her face, her breathing hitched as she realized where she was.

"John...?" She asked uncertainly, timidly reaching out to touch his cheek, as if making sure he was real. He smiled at her, worry all over his face, "'Course...I'm right here, just like I said I'd be. What's wrong?" She didn't answer, instead she just curled up to him even tighter, if that was possible, burying her head in his shoulder. Her soft sobs raking her frame and breaking his heart, jaw tight, "Darlin', you need to tell me what's goin' on. I know its hard, believe me I do, but this...You ain't been this broken up since you remembered everything..." She still didn't respond, but her shoulders tensed under his hands and he hugged her gently, "Luella...what happened in there? Did you...did you find Shaun?"

Guy looked uncomfortable himself at what was happening, swallowing against the lump in his throat, he lost his appetite suddenly. Wanting to just get up and leave, but felt somehow like he needed to stay put. Like he might need to help.

The raven chocked on her words at first, having to force them out, "Yes..." She started softly, shaking her head, eyes tightly shut. "But...but he's..." John at first thought she might tell him the kid was dead or something like that, he did not expect what she actually told him and his heart stopped a moment at the words.

" _He's their leader_."

John tilted his head back, letting out a vicious curse, this was why she was so upset? It was no wonder, she must have so much shit on her mind cause of this! "He want's me to live there...b-be family again...B-but I...I just can't do it! J-John their monsters! The-they treat people like objects, the poor synths are treated worse than garbage...They talk about people from the Commonwealth like their all worthless scum! I-I can't stand it..." She was talking in a rush, becoming hysterical, her hands lifted to grip the sides of her head as she remembered the last few days there. "He...he made a synth of himself as a kid and-and he said Nate's death was just collateral damage and...and...NGH!" Luella broke into anguished sobs and all Hancock could do was hold her, no words could he find to comfort her with. This was a nightmare. Worse than that, it was reality.

"Their expecting us back at some point..." Guy said softly, looking at the ground as John turned his dark eyes on him, "We won't be able to hide from them, even if we tried. They would send Coursers and tear settlements apart looking, they don't care who they hurt." The ghoul grit his teeth, glaring at nothing particular, trying to think of a way to stop them. To save his beloved all this pain and suffering. To rescue the brother he had only just realized he had lost and was returned to him. There was only one group in the Commonwealth that could help and he didn't know if that would even work. He wished he could just take the raven and leave, go far from the Commonwealth and start over somewhere out of their reach, but he knew it could never last and Guy was right.

Taking a deep breath, solidifying his resolve, "I won't let ya go back alone Luella...I won't make you face those monsters without me. We'll find a way to defeat them, I swear, I'll do whatever it takes for you to be free of this." Luella shook her head, looking suddenly far more terrified, "Y-you can't! John they'll kill you! If they found out about...about us...Shaun would kill you. I-I can't...I won't lose you too...Please..." Guy nodded slowly in agreement, wordlessly telling John that the raven was indeed correct.

John frowned deeply, his heart aching, "Then what am I supposed to do? Sit by while you return to that den of wolves?" He growled, anger flaring again, but it fizzled a moment later seeing the hurt in her eyes. It would be foolish to rush in, he knew that, but he hated knowing she was so far out of his reach. "Alright...but I don't like this. You know we can't hide this forever...I _won't_ hide forever."

Luella settled a little, but not much, nodding her head slowly. She was shaking like a leaf, looking like someone had knocked the air from her lungs, blue eyes almost hollow. "I...I...don't...want to hurt anyone..." She mumbled softly, knowing that it was something that was not going to be possible, someone was going to get hurt. It was just an unavoidable truth. Hancock kissed her softly on the cheek, "I love you Luella...You know that. I'll stick by you, no matter how much hell I have to go through to do so."

* * *

 

Sometime later Luella was again fast asleep, stomach now full of Charlie's tasty iguana soup and stale beer. With a small hit of Med-X to hopefully put her in enough of a stupor to keep the nightmares at bay without doing anymore harm to her body than was already done. At least the fever had broken. She lay with her head rested on John's knee, his coat still draped over her, his hand rested calmly on her shoulder rubbing soothing little circles with his thumb.

Guy was still up, not yet ready to just go anywhere, it had been years since he had seen his brother after all. And he intended to spend as much time with him as he could. "So...how did you two meet?" The blonde asked, sipping a beer himself. Hancock gave a wicked little smile at the question, "She was chased into town by some crazy raiders, a bullet in her shoulders, looking like a lost puppy. One of my boys tried to extort money out her and I killed the guy to make a point. Long story short, his buddies didn't like that and tried taken it out on her so I stepped in. Ended up moving her into the state house that very night."

The other man raised a brow, smiling a little, John always had a soft spot for injured animals. It wasn't much of a leap to see that transcend to people too or at least this person. Something about this woman drew people to her like a magnet, both good and bad. "When did you realize how you felt?" John's expression softened at this question, looking down at the raven, gently rubbing her shoulder still. Luella let out a soft hum of contentment and nuzzled his knee a bit, she was really out of it. "To be honest...I don't know. Maybe it was seein' her take out the Swan and live. Or maybe it was when she took on a raider gang alone to save her friend. It's hard to say for sure I guess."

"She's stronger than she looks, that's good. They won't expect it at least if she turns on them."

"We can hope so..."

* * *

 

That night they all fell asleep in the sitting room, waking abnormally early when one of the Watch informed them that the Mayor had guests, two specifically. The first, much to John's relief, was Fahrenheit. The ginger woman was worse for ware, but alive and ready to come back to work. Luella didn't catch a lot of the conversation, but it turned out Daisy was fine and so was K-L-EO, both were hold up in the old library. Luella had opted to going to the attic and finding some of her old clothes, get out of this Institute outfit that Shaun had forced on her.

Feeling so much more comfortable in the ripped shorts and long sleeve brown shirt she had changed into, slipping into some old sneakers and colorful stockings. A little outlandish, sure, but more normal to her. It wasn't white or sterile and that's what mattered. No longer feeling like she had escaped from a hospital at least or like she was to return to one, she made her way downstairs.

Guy had borrowed some caps to buy himself some more appropriate Commonwealth attire, though he was not sure if he was going to be allowed to stay or not. The raven had convinced him, sort of, that she would make sure of it somehow if she had to lie and say he was dead or some shit.

Coming back to the second floor, Luella was pleasantly surprised to find Nick had shown up, sitting on the couch across from Hancock telling him about a case or some such. She was just so happy to see him, a synth she actually liked instead of the strange lifeless sort in the Institute, like X6. "Nicky!" She chimed, rushing over and hugging the detective, "I'm so glad to see you!"

"Heh, you too kid. What's got you so chipper?" He asked as she pulled away, the raven shaking her had a little as she settled on one knee on the couch, sitting comfortably like that. "I just...Its good to see you." She looked away, clearly holding something back. Hancock frowned a little, understanding by her eyes that she was worried now more than ever about her friends. Given her new and uncomfortable connection with the Institute. How long would it be before she would lose them?

Nick narrowed robotic eyes, seeing something in her but not able to place it, so he moved on for now. "I was just telling Hancock I need some help with a case. Its kinda far off and I have my hands full with another disappearance in Diamond City. I was hoping you two might be willing to cover for me."

Luella smiled softly, nodding in agreement, anything to get out of going back to that sterilized hell hole. "Sure, what's the case about?" The synth shook his head, "Not sure exactly, I just got word from a man up north named Nakano, needed some help and bad." She nodded, letting Nick mark the location on her Pip-Boy, which he frowned at afterward. "When did you get this fixed?"

She stiffened, for some reason as she hadn't thought about it that much. Too much of a hurry the other night. Too much chaos. "Uh...recently."

"Right...Well I gotta go. Come tell me what you find when you can."

Once Nick was gone Luella looked down at the device on her arm, frowning deeply. Wanting to throw it away, break ties, but that was pointless wasn't it? Behind her, Fahrenheit came up the stairs, looking grim, "Either of you know the guy in black hanging around outside the gate?"

The minuteman general went rigged, slowly turning wide eyes to the ginger woman, mumbling under her breath in astonishment. "How...did he..." John raised a brow, narrowing dark eyes, not noticing the alarmed look on his lover's face. "What's he look like?"

"Dark skin, black leather coat, sunglasses. Real tough looking, bit too clean."

The raven let out a soft, but livid curse, raking her brain for how the hell the Courser had managed to track her there. Panic setting in fast as he breathing started picking up. They had left Sanctuary so fast on Fluffy, there was no way he could have kept up! And she hadn't told him where she was going either! "He's...he's with me. Sort of..." She said at last, looking a little pale, she didn't want to go near him. He was so...mechanical in the way he spoke. Like the doctor when she was in the asylum. It was so unnerving.

"Who is he?" Hancock asked as he got to his feet, walking over to her, sensing her discomfort. He took her hands gently, sitting down with her, expression unreadable. The rough texture of his skin against her fingers was comforting, helped to relax her a bit. She glanced uncertainly at Fahrenheit, John seeing the worried look and smiling a little, reassuringly. "I already told her what's going on Darlin'."

Luella nodded slowly, slumping her shoulders a little, "He's a Courser, his name, I guess, is X6-88. Shaun insisted I have a capable escort while on the surface. He seems to think I can survive, but still need protecting. But I...I don't know how he managed to track me here. I left him in Sanctuary, I never told him where I was going and there is no way he's fast enough to chase down Fluffy."

John looked taken aback, "You rode that deathclaw here?" She nodded and he shook his head with a smirk, though it faded in seconds. He tried to think how X6 managed it too, didn't really make sense, "Did they inject you with anything? I know already you never ate the food..."

"No. I wouldn't let them near me."

He hummed and Fahrenheit raised a brow, "They fixed that Pip-Boy, right? Could they have put like a tracker in it?" She said, pointing at her wrist, the raven looking ready to be sick at the realization. "Fucking hell..."

Yanking her hands away from John suddenly, she began fighting to uncoupled the clasp, tossing the thing off in seconds to clatter across the floor loudly and roll into a corner of the room, sound echoing. She stared at it, terrified. Had they put in listening devices? Or cameras!? They could already know about John and everything else! Hands settled on either side of her face, pulling her back to reality. She was crying and breathing erratically, not even realizing till then. Luella was having a panic attack. "Darlin', calm down! Their clearly not worried or they would have busted the door down by-"

Downstairs a ruckus broke out, the door bursting open and the guards yelling at someone before going eerily quiet. It didn't sound like shots were fired. Heavy boots came up the stairs, black leather and glinting dark glasses glinting in the low lantern light of the old State House. X6 stood ready for fight, but froze and then straightened, seeming to asses the scene very quickly. Luella was on her feet before he even got all the way there, having grabbed Hancock's shotgun from where it had been laying untouched on the coffee table, aimed and ready to blow the synths head off. Her blue eyes were wide, glowing a little more than usual, more noticeably. One might miss the tremble in her shoulders if they didn't know her well enough. 

X6-88 calmly raised his hands to show he meant no harm, "The life signs from your Pip-Boy went dead ma'am, I assumed the worst." He said in that calm, robotic way of his, so damn matter of fact. Blue eyes flickered in the direction of the device, then back, "Tell me now. What all did they do to that thing, huh? And don't you dare fucking lie! Are they spying on me?!" John stood up slowly behind her, not wanting to startle her, he pulled the knife from his back pocket, ready for the fight if the Courser started one. Ready to protect her this time if that thing tried to take her off.

Seemed like X6 took his unsheathing of the weapon as a direct threat on the raven, because he on holstered the laser gun from his hip and aimed it right for Hancock's head, finger on the trigger and pulling back on it. Lucky he was fast to stop, because Luella was in the way in a blink, growling like a feral. "Answer me now!" She shouted, backing up a step so she was pressed closer to the ghoul, clearly protecting him. Keeping herself pressed against him to be certain he was safe.

"Why are you guarding that _thing_?" The synth actually sounded confused, disgust on his features and a deep frown marring his lips. For once his tone was less robotic, not so sure of itself. Luella answered without much thought, "He's my b-best friend." ' **Boyfriend** ' had almost slipped, but she caught herself, "Answer me X6, I'm losing my patience's fast and believe me I have little of it to start with."

The dark skinned synth nodded slowly, seeming to absorb this new information, "Your Pip-Boy was installed with a Courser Chip in order to allow you access to and from the Institute. It was also modified to scan your vitals and send signals to myself for monitoring so that I could more efficiently see to your protection. Nothing more. Father insisted on allowing you your privacy so you would feel more free whilst living in the Institute, as he knows how precious you consider you freedom according to the pre-war medical records found at Parsons State Insane Asylum."

She flinched at the name of that place, swallowing thickly, "Can you...turn that function off then? I...I still feel like its spying." The anger was faded, more like heated exasperation as the dark man shook his head, "I am afraid not, it would interfere with my mission to protect you. Father has deemed you an important asset."

"I'm not a fucking object!" She pulled the trigger out of fury, thankfully missing the man and hitting the wall instead, wood and plaster splintering all over. The Courser looked surprised. Apologizing after a moment or two, "Perhaps if you asked Father he would change this." He suggested, but the raven lowered the gun and mumbled a 'no', passing the gun to John with shaking fingers. Not wanting an incident like the one with Kellog. Crossing the room she picked up the computer and brought it to X6, shoving it into his gloved hands, "You take this to Shaun and tell him I want that removed. And if he puts anything on their that monitors me in anyway again I will see to it that its destroyed, the whole thing or he can forget me coming back at all. Because so help me I will not be chained." She glared at the synth, crossing her arms tightly and stepping away, well out of arms reach. "You can also inform him that I'll be away awhile taking care of some business."

The synth nodded, hesitating a little, but walked out none the less. The moment he was gone the raven's confidence fled her like water escaping a broken dam and she collapsed where she stood, "Fuck...he's going to send an army, the hell was I thinking?!" She panicked, lifting a hand to her eyes, starting to hyperventilate again. A gnarled hand lay against her shoulder, calming her as the scent of chems and gun oil wafted over her, "I don't think that's going to happen. If they consider you so important I really doubt Shaun will push you too much."

"I really hope your right."


	17. An Unfortunate Bit of Collateral Damage...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As a special treat for this chapter I have included the original cover art I drew for the story that would have been posted on Wattpad had I not changed my mind about posting it there. Enjoy it, I stink at drawing really good X"D

Luella was shaking, shielding herself from whatever the attack was with her free hand, feeling the pressure on her bruised wrist slipping away. Slowly she dared lift her head, breathing on the verge of hyperventilation, yanking her knife from the dead Coursers chest and quickly busting his head open like a melon, finding the chip she was looking for.

Doing all this before realizing where she was, lifting her head with a momentary smile to tell John they had won, but only then realizing she was now alone in a strange place. The smell of chemicals, sterilness, reaching her nose and burning into her senses. The image of that psycho-ward flashing in her mind, she half expected to see the orderlies coming to strap her down and drug her, to tell her it had all been an elaborate dream.

Luella's mind felt like a strange haze, her breathing more and more erratic as the panic took hold, dashing from the strange room into another equally strange one. And then another, this one had a round pod looking sort of thing at the back of it. The only door she found was locked tight. "Fuck...fuck!" She cursed, backing into a wall, curling up on herself. She was alone and trapped. Sobbing softly, holding her head tight between her hands, begging softly to just be let out. But only silence reached her, cut by the hum of the strange machines beyond the walls.

And then, above her from some unseen source, came a voice. "Welcome. I have waited a long time for you to come here. I am known as Father, the leader of the Institute. I know you must be very confused and have many questions, all of which I would like to answer. You just need to get into the elevator."

The pod, elevator as it turned out, slid open. Waiting for her.

The raven stared at it uncertainly, was it a trap? Then again she was already trapped wasn't she? "It's going to be alright, I can assure you no one is going to harm you, just get into the elevator." The voice reassured her in a calm tone, that almost, almost reminded her of a nurse she had known once when she was a teen at that asylum. Cautiously, she got to her feet, shakily tucking the chip in her bag, hands still stained in the Coursers blood.

Stepping into the round elevator, she flinched when it slid shit, backing against the glass wall. Her vision a little blurry, wither from the lack of oxygen reaching her lungs or tears she wasn't entirely sure. As the elevator took her down she was able to see the massive underground complex of the atrium, the many departments listed by large lite signs around the edges and the balconies of what was no doubt living quarters easily seen as well.

Slowly she was lowered below it all into a passage of some kind, the doors opening to allow her out as the voice explained to her where she was. Walking along a long corridor, "I know you have come a long ways to get here. All for a very...personal reason. You seek to find your son. Well I am more than happy to introduce you to him. He's just ahead."

She came to a second elevator, the mans words over head giving her hope as she eagerly climbed on and hit the button. Taking her up once more, depositing her in a small, white walled room. A sort of observation room in front of her, the walls glass. Her heart skipped a beat, seeing the ten year old boy sitting playing on the floor inside.

He had her hair and his fathers green eyes, that pale complexion of hers and his freckles that Nate had had as a child. Stumbling a little as she crossed the room, she slid to her knees in front of the glasses, placing her hands on the surface as tears began to fall. "Shaun...? Is it really you?"

The boy lifted his head, looking confused and slightly startled at her, "Yes...my name is Shaun. What do you want? Who are you?" He asked, getting to his feet and backing away from the glass, looking around like he was suddenly feeling as trapped as he looked. The raven chocked a little, "Its me! Shaun! I'm your mother! Please, open the door! W-we can get out of this horrible place!"

"No, get away! Father!? Father, help me! Someones trying to take me!"

The boys words stung her, like so many little daggers, he had no idea who she was. Of course he wouldn't, how could he? He had been raised in this place. Never knowing her or, "Shaun, please? These people are monsters! They killed your father! J-just open the door, please!?"

It was no use, the boy kept yelling for his father, uselessly. A sliding door opened near by, an elderly looking man entered, calmly speaking. It was the man from the intercom. He spouted something about a recall code and the boy in the observation room doubled over, unconscious but standing. Like a..."Synth....he's a synth." The words that slipped her lips were cold, empty sounding, "Of course." It was as if the life had been drained from her.

The man held his hands behind his back, looking down at her from a few feet away, "He's still a prototype, we're still testing him against extreme emotional stimulation. You understand." He said in the most straight forward way like he really thought she did.

The raven let out a laugh that held no amusement, "Why are you doing this to me? Is this some kind of sick joke?"

"I assure you it is not. I know your confused. But I said I would introduce you to your son and I will."

Slowly she got to her feet, the smile on her face held nothing but malice and hatred as she turned to look at the man, calmly waiting. He didn't seem to pick up on her negativity, "I am known as Father...But my real name is...Shaun. I am your son. And I have waited a very long to finally meet you, mother."

The raven stiffened, that had been the last thing she was expecting, disbelief colored her features as she shook her head. "Bullshit...th-that's bullshit..."

"Given the situation I will forgive you for the profanity. But I can assure you I'm telling the truth. Is it so hard to believe? You had no concept of time in the vault. Is it so hard to believe that its been not five or ten years, but in fact sixty since I was taken?"

"B-but...why...why all this??!! Why would you make me go through all this suffering?"

"I admit, its regrettable. But I was curious. I wanted to see what would happen if I released you from the vault. An...experiment if you will. Would you survive? Find me? Or would the Commonwealth destroy you like it has everything else?"

Luella tried to wrap her mind around it all, her head beginning to pound, "B-but your father...they killed him and you just...he loved you so much!"

Shaun's face didn't falter, "I've read the files on the incident. It was an unfortunate bit of collateral damage." She flinched at the words, hands shaking at her side. More than ever she wished Hancock was there, to tell her it was going to be fine, that this was just a bad Jet trip or something. "You must be exhausted." He snapped his fingers, a couple of people in white jumpers, no doubt synths, entered the room. One gently took her arm and the other took her bag, or tried to, but she yanked it back.

"Back off! Don't touch me!" She shouted without meaning to, clutching the bag for dear life, the synths smiled calmly at her. "Ma'am we mean no harm. Please, I need your _Pip-Boy_ , Dr. Li is to repair and upgrade it for you and I will see it returned after."

"And I am to take you to your quarters for medical care and rest." The other said, seeming a little more sympathetic, his eyes, a gentle brown, were softer. More human. Hesitantly she reached into the bag and handed the first synth the wrist computer, but still jerked when the second tried to take her arm again.

The second backed off, but motioned instead for her to follow him from the room. Shaun smiled at her as she passed, "I'll show you around tomorrow once your feeling better. I am sure you will come to love it here...Perhaps we can be a family like we should have been."

* * *

 

Later she sat on the sterile little couch in her chambers, dressed in way to clean white robes and boots. She had refused to go to sleep after the Synth insisted, much to its dismay, and instead was popping Buffout like there was no tomorrow every time she felt even remotely sleepy.

She was terrified to fall asleep, scared they might do something to her. But the worst feeling had to be John's absence, the lack of his voice filling the air or the smell of his Jet and gun oil. Thinking of him only made her want to cry too, which sent the Synth into distressed murmurs, trying to figure out what to do.

The door slide open, a young man, maybe a little older than herself, with blonde hair and dark blue eyes entered. "I've come to relieve you for the night F5-93." The Synth looked relieved, getting up and bidding them both good night, before scurrying out. Once the door was shut the man came to sit on the other side of the couch from her, a respectable distance.

"Have you eaten anything besides this?" He asked, calming lifting the bottle of Buffout pills, which she snatched back from him. "Doesn't matter does it?" She snapped, hugging her legs again, before popping another pill.

The blonde tilted his head with a sad look, "Jesus...did I look that?" He mumbled, the words hardly loud enough to be heard, but they made her look up, confusion crossing her face. "Y-your not a synth?"

The man shook his head, "Nope, just a normal person like you." He paused a moment, like he was carefully choosing his next words, "I was...brought here about twelve years ago." He confessed, his eyes a little sad as he looked down at the ground, hands clasped loosely between his knees.

Slowly, achingly slowly, she lowered her defenses. Unfolding herself, "Your...your one of the people they've abducted? I thought....they killed all the people they took." He nodded, not really looking at her, "Yeah...usually they do. I dunno why they kept me alive. But they have and I guess I'm sorta grateful. I...I really wish they would let me leave though."

Luella bit her lip, wishing she knew how to help him, but at the moment she was in the same boat. "Wh-what's your name?"

"Believe it or not, its Guy. My parents had a shit sense of humor, I swear." He laughed, seeming light hearted about it, grinning in this way that struck a cord somewhere in her head she couldn't exactly place. Something about him was screaming at her, telling her she knew him, but that wasn't possible right? He hummed softly, "Say...if...if they end up letting you go back out there...you think you could do me a favor, I don't have anything to offer, but...well it would mean a lot."

The raven smiled a little, "I'd be glad to...i-if they let me leave..." John's face passed through her mind, his easy smile and she chocked a little, not meaning to get so upset. She babbled an apology, roughly wiping at the tears that had sprung up, feeling a hand on her back. The blonde frowned a little, understanding in his eyes, "Got someone out there huh? Believe me, I feel that."

After some deep breathing and a hit if Jet from an inhaler she was glad she still had, she calmed down enough to look at him again, "S-sorry...what was it you wanted me to do?"

He nodded, fishing in his pocket and producing a photograph, faded and frayed at the edges. Passing it to her to look at. She saw the blonde, no doubt fifteen years ago or better and a boy, probably in his early teens with long blonde hair like the elders and bright happy blue eyes. "That's my little brother..I was hoping you might be able to track him down for me, just make sure he's okay. He uh...he was always a bit of a wild card, I worry he might have gone too far or something without me, y'know?"

"Yeah...I can defiantly look into it. I have a friend whose a detective, specializes in missing persons." She told him with a smile, he was about to say something, but the door opened again and a Courser walked in. This one was dark skinned, unlike the earlier one. "X6-88, reporting in. I have been assigned as your personal bodyguard, ma'am. Father wishes to see you."

Guy made a face and stood, "Excuse me. I uh...hope to see you again miss." Ducking from the room, he left her with the leather clad synth. The man waited for her, expression unreadable as he lead her out.

* * *

 

Two days later Hancock was restlessly staying in Sanctuary, hoping against hope that Luella would show up, like nothing had happened and they could just forget the whole thing and go about their lives. But the hours passed and no raven showed up to ease his mind and his will slowly crumbled little by little.

Sitting on the railing of the bridge that lead into the settlement, John stared at the water in the distance, not seeing it. His mind long gone and elsewhere. Having already emptied two inhalers of Jet that day alone, he was working on a third and seriously considering making that special brew of his, if only to completely get his mind off the hopelessness of the situation.

"Have faith kid, she'll come back." Came a familiar elderly voice, Mama Murphy sidling up next to him, leaning back on the bit of intacted wooden rail. The ghoul didn't reply a long time, just kept staring into the distance. Sucking in another hit of Jet, he exhaled the vapors on a heavy, sorrowful sigh. "I just feel...so completely useless. Is she okay in their? Have they killed her like they do everyone who gets in their way? I don't fuckin' know and its killing me cause I can't to shit about it."

Mama nodded in understanding, "Its gonna be okay kid." She reassured, even if she knew it wasn't really fazing him. A vendor started across the bridge with their Brahman, pausing when she saw him, "Hey, your Mayor Hancock, right?"

He turned his dark eyes to her, narrowed them slightly, "Yeah, what about it?" The girl, who wore a surgical mask, crossed her arms. "I just came from Goodneighbor a few days ago, what gives cancelling the trades with the Slog?"

Silver crossed the black pits of his vision and he frowned deeply, "Excuse me? Say that again, cause I don't think I heard that right."

"The mayor declined anymore dealings with the Slog." She said more firmly, before shaking her head and walking off with an annoyed grumble. John gripped the railing tightly, slipping down, saying something about taking care of business. Murphy tried to stop him, but she was neither strong enough or fast enough, "You shouldn't go! You need to stay here!"

But he kept walking, not looking back at all.

* * *

 

Luella was following Shaun, rather Father as he liked to be called, around the compound. Not really listening all that close at the various scientists tried to explain to her their jobs and roles and how they were so fucking important. All she could really hear was the hum in her own head. She was exhausted, anxious and on edge. On enough Jet and Buffout to overdose a normal person. No one seemed to really notice either, which only served to upset her more.

John always noticed, always paid attention, always saw through the smiles and forced happiness. He knew when she was upset or sad or needed help. Distantly she heard someone speaking to her, saying something, slowly pulling her from the chem dazed state she had fallen into.

"Huh? Sorry...I was...thinking about something else." She said off handily as a female scientist, she was vaguely aware her name was Li, blinked in annoyance. "I was saying that I upgraded your _Pip-Boy_ with a Courser Chip. This will allow you to leave and return to the Institute at will. Its very important you understand what sort of access your being allowed, as no one else has this kind of clearance. Father is putting a lot of faith in you."

The raven looked down at her arm as the woman clasped the wrist computer in place, getting this dreamy feel about her as she realized she was being given the ability to leave. She could leave! The weight of the _Pip-boy_ hung in her mind and on her arm, a real smile slowly spreading across her face, "R-right...I'll remember that. C-can I go now? I really need some fresh air." The words were hollow sounding, false even to her own ears, but neither Li or Father seemed to notice.

"Yes, well its far from fresh. But you are not a prisoner here, I'd like for this place to feel like home for you as it does for me and I understand from the psychological papers we dug up that you regard your sense of freedom very highly. That being said, as I understand you are very capable of taking care of yourself, I would still like for you to take an escort to the surface with you." Shaun explained, motion that dark skinned Courser who had tailed her the last three days over, "X6-88's combat skills come highly praised by Dr. Ayo and I feel he would be-"

"NO!" She blurted out loudly, before recovering, blushing deeply. "I-I...Not him, please...He reminds me too much of...its complicated. Can't I take someone else? Please?"

Shaun looked disappointed, but smiled none the less, open minded and strangely trusting. "Alright, whom did you have in mind?" Allowing her to think a moment, but the only person that came to mind was, "Guy. I can take Guy, he's from the surface like me and would understand how to survive there better than X6. I highly doubt I could walk into a settlement without rousing suspicion if I took X6 and Guy wouldn't be thought twice about."

Father narrowed his eyes a bit, thinking it over, "I suppose...but the mans combat skills are less than to be desired. Perhaps I can make a compromise? Take them both, X6-88 can trail behind when you enter settlements and Guy can be permitted to follow you for closer protection."

The raven bit her lip, wanting to say no, but it was better than just taking the Courser. "F-fine. I'm going to find Guy and take a walk then, excuse me." She nodded, turning to leave, the white robes flaring around her knees as she turned. X6 moved to follow as he was supposed to. "Mother? I do look forward to seeing you again soon, so don't be gone too long."

It felt like a threat for so many unnerving reasons.

Down in the atrium she searched and searched, asking around until she found Guy in the cafeteria, cleaning tables with the synths. She would need to ask one of these times why he was treated like one of them when he clearly wasn't. She liked Guy, he was kind and understanding, reminded her oddly of Nate. The blonde came to keep her company a few times over the past days and it had helped a little to keep her calm, enough to at least not do anything overly stupid. The subject of his bother hadn't come up again, somehow it was a hard subject for him and she could get that. Luella had learned he was from Diamond City at least, so it gave her a place to start looking when the time came, but given what she was about to do? He might be able to look for himself.

"Guy, can I...talk to you please?" The blonde looked up with those familiar dark eyes and smiled, straightening up to face her, "Sure thing Ms. Bishop, how can I help you?" Luella made a face at the official title, heaving a short breath, the smell of the sterile chemicals in the air filling her nose and almost making her sick. Swallowing, she pulled out the Jet from her pocket, taking a long huff. Relaxing a little, "Your to be my official escort when I go to the surface from this point forward. So I need you to come with me, I was just about to head up."

The blonde blinked in shock, glancing at X6 who nodded in agreement, standing with his hands behind his back. "That's right. Please prepare yourself." He said in that flat tone of his, his sunglasses glinting a little in the florescent lights. Guy smiled brightly, "Right, yes ma'am, I'll go get my weapon and meet you in the atrium."

She watched him go, heart already racing excitedly, going straight to the atrium and waiting. Nearly bouncing, way more than ready to go, she lifted the Jet to her lips, but a dark skinned hand stopped her. "Ma'am, if I may, your chemical levels are far to high as it is and I am afraid I will be forced to take this away if you continue to push your limits."

The raven flinched back, clutching the inhaler, "I'm fine, thank you for the concern."

"Ma'am, please..." He was cut off when Guy approached, laser rifle at the ready, "Alright, we can head out, Ma'am." Far to excitedly she lifted the _Pip-Boy_ up and moved to the map, but paused, hovering on it a moment. Where did she go? Better yet, where would John be? At Goodneighbor? No, probably not, he was avoiding his mayoral duties...so...where would he go?

"Are you okay? Your shaking..." Guy said suddenly, startling her, she blinked. Stared at him a moment, realizing after a moment his image was a bit blurred. She was crying again. Wiping her face she forced a smile, "Fine. I'm just fine, I was just trying to figure out where to go and remembering this poor cat I saw get shot by raiders and-know what never mind!"

Quickly she selected Sanctuary, hitting the button.

* * *

 

As the bright light faded they found themselves across the bridge from the large settlement, the sounds of crickets chirping softly around them and a warm breeze washing past carrying the smell of a recent shower. Blue eyes stared across the aged wooden bridge at the lights of the homes she knew so well, smelling smoke from fires and hearing voices chattering distantly. Taking one step and then another, she picked up into a run, Guy forced to chase after her as X6 waited for them as per his orders.

Darting straight for her house, she slammed open the door, startling Codsworth. The robot stammering a greeting as she moved to check the house, but didn't find who she was looking for. "Codsworth! Is John at the bar? I bet he is, of course he would be, haha!"

"Mum, are you quiet alright, you look very pale and flushed." The Mr. Handy said, turning a mechanical eye to the blonde who stopped in the door to take a few deep breaths, it had been a long time since he had had this much exorcise. "Uh, company? G-good, I'll make coffee."

Frustrated, the raven moved to walk back out, Guy moving quickly aside. She headed toward the makeshift outdoor bar, where many of the residents were, not paying mind to the strange looks they gave her. She scanned the area, but didn't see the ghoul she was looking so desperately for. Turning away, she didn't see them reaching for weapons, but Guy did and tensed up in front of her. "I think we need to leave."

She shook her head, trying to think past the panic and chem haze, "We're fine, these people are my friends and-"

"Are you a synth?! Come to replace our General, I think you got another thing coming." Came the familiar voice of Marcy Long, making the raven turn with a confused look. Stiffening up at the sight of the guns pointed at her, she slowly raised her hands, "I-I'm not a synth!" She pleaded weakly, looking down at herself and realizing why they might think that, the too clean fucking white coat she wore. The too clean black boots and white pants and shirt. All Institute.

Marcy opened her mouth to say more, smirking like she knew what she was talking about, but a withered hand touched her arm. "Its the real Bishop. No synth would smell that much like chems kid."

Luella gave a shaky smile, relaxing a little when the people slowly lowered their guns, thanking whatever god there was that Mama Murphy was there. The old woman approached her with a grim expression, "I know who your looking for kid. He ain't here, left yesterday for Goodneighbor. Something's going on there." The raven flinched a little, eyes wide in sudden worry, "Like what?"

"I dunno kid, but I don't think its good. You need to hurry."

She needed no more promoting to turn and rush back toward the bridge, but Guy grabbed her arm, his face concerned and confused. "Hold on. What's going on? Why do you need to go to a place like Goodneighbor? Its not exactly a nice settlement. A lot of bad people live there."

Luella whirled on Guy, opening her mouth and closing it again, wanting to jerk away and just go. But he was her friend and she might need the help if something bad was going on. "Its not like it used to be, Guy. Its a refuge for the lost, has been for over a decade thanks to...to Hancock. He's my...." She hesitated, uncertain wither telling him John was her boyfriend or not was such a good idea. More than once she had over heard people in the Institute talk about how disgusting not only the people above ground were but how much they hated people like Ghoul's, saw them as something worse than trash.

"Friend. He's important to me. If it wasn't for him I'd be dead several times over by now. And he needs my help now more than ever and I have to go. Please? I can understand if you want to stay behind, but you won't stop me. I can promise you that." Taking a step away from him, not waiting for a reply, she started out of Sanctuary. But a low growl stopped her a second time, this time it was Fluffy, her beloved deathclaw, looking at her with this sad look in his huge red eyes.

Biting her lip, she called him to her, petting his snout lovingly. "Sorry boy, don't mean to neglect you...but someone needs me." The beast seemed to understand her somehow, but instead of back off it lowered its head, almost like he was offering her a ride. It waited a long time, before huffing at her softly and motion toward its back with a jut of its head.

"Jesus!? Is that a deathclaw?! G-get back Ms, Bishop its dangerous!" Guy said, catching up to her and aiming his rifle, but she stepped in the way. "Don't do it! He's friendly!" The blondes eyes went wide in the dark, "I know its hard to believe, but I raised him, his name is Fluffy and I swear he won't hurt either of us!"

Slowly he lowered the gun, looking skeptical, "Y-you raised it?" She nodded, turning to the red and green deathclaw, gently stroking one of its curving horns. "Come on, he can get us to Goodneighbor twice as fast, climb on!"

Luella got on the things shoulders, waiting for Guy to climb on behind her, his arms hesitantly wrapping around her waist. Fluffy raised his massive body, lurching forward into a full run, from zero to sixty in three seconds.

"Have you ever done this before?!" Guy yelled over the wind, clinging to her in order to keep from falling off. "Nope, this is a first!"

She leaned into the deathclaw's ear, reaching down to rub his neck affectionately. It's presence at least relieving some of her stress and worry, "Find John, boy!" It let out an affirmative roar, speeding up.

* * *

 

The trip was a rough, but quick ride, it was just after the sun rose they hit the ruins and Luella pulled the deathclaw to a stop. "Woah boy, this is close enough!" Fluffy lowered his head to let them down, purring at her and nuzzling her shoulders. The raven leaning into it tiredly, the chems wearing off slowly and the lack of sleep weighing in. But there was no time for sleep now. "I'll be okay boy...gonna get John back and everything will be okay." She said quietly, closing her eyes for just a moment, resting for just that moment. Popping a quick buffout, she stretched.

Guy frowned a little, seeing the dark circles under her eyes, the redness in her cheeks. "I don't think your physically up for a fight ma'am-"

"Please stop being so formal...my name is Luella."

The blonde pursed his lips, nodding lightly, "Sorry...habit." He hummed a moment in worry as she straightened up and moved with sluggish purpose toward the ruined city. "Is this guy...really so important you would risk health and personal safety on him? Your not even armed."

The raven froze at the question, fists tightening at her side, she had indeed forgotten her pack in all the rush to get out. But that was not going to stop her, she could fight bare handed if need be, "He's...I would give my life for his any day. John...is everything to me. Say what you will when you meet him, think what you want. But I love him, unconditionally." Caution be damned.

Guy paused a moment, smiling halfheartedly as they kept moving, "John Hancock, huh? Its really funny, my little brothers first name was John." He said, the words slapping her in the face full force like he had actually hit her, wide eyes slowly turning to look at him. So many things clicking into place as the words echoed in her mind, "Say that...again?"

The blonde man frowned, "My little brother's name was John?" He said it like a question, uncertain why she needed to hear it again and gasped in shock when she almost fell, swaying dangerously right there in front of him. "Woah, you alright?!"

"McDonough...your name is Guy McDonough..." She breathed, leaning against the wall of a crumbling building, this sort of weird smile crossing her face. Sad and bitter and over joyed all the same. "Yes? But, I never told you my last name...how...?" Guy started to ask as she began to laugh hysterically, getting this sudden burst of energy, "He's beat himself up so many years over something that's not even real! Oh, Guy you have no idea what this means!"

Luella cheered, hugging the tall man, realizing at last why so many things he did were so familiar. Because John did them. John smiled like that and gestured like that and...And this was his brother! His **_real_** brother!

The mayor of Diamond City was a synth after all! Then...Red crossed her vision, feeling a sudden wave of anger. The Institute was responsible for hurting those ghouls. For hurting John and driving him nearly to the edge.

"I-I'm really confused...are you hallucinating from the chems or something?" Guy asked slowly as she let go, watching her smile weakly again, "Not at all, just piecing a lot of things together." She took a deep breath to calm herself, "I just realized the brother your looking for and the man I am looking for are the same person."

"What...? Seriously!?"

Luella nodded, moving again toward Goodneighbor, "Its a real long, real sad story. But our John's are one and the same. He's suffered so much, but he'll finally get his brother back and I swear I'm going to make the Institute pay for this, because this just became very personal."

Guy didn't ask, decided there was time for that later. Fifteen minutes passed and they were outside the dilapidated walls of Goodneighbor with its neon signs. The raven crouching down to see two of the ghouls that normal served on the Neighborhood Watch guarding the gate. Why? Goodneighbor was welcome to all. Inside she could just make out a roar of boos and cheers mixed together and frowned only deeper, "Guy...I need your gun and for you to follow my lead, got it?"

The blonde grit his teeth, but relinquished the weapon, staying just behind her as she stood. Aiming with focused eyes at the men, "Put the guns down boys, slowly." The two ghouls looked up in surprise, lowering their tommy guns to the ground and putting their hands up. "What's going on? And don't fucking lie to me! I've never seen anyone stationed out here like this."

They looked between each other, one of them mumbling something about not betraying the new boss, but the other looked less loyal. "You gotta get in there! Marowski and his goons took over and their planing to execute Hancock!"

Ice slithered down her spine, twisting in her gut painfully. Aiming at the other man, she fired, frying his face and killing him. "Pick up your gun, we're taking back the town and reinstating the proper mayor!"

The ghoul looked more than happy, picking up his sub-machine gun and following her into town. She grimaced at the sight that welcomed her, several drifters and other previous neighborhood watch lay scattered on the ground, being picked at by the birds. The overwhelming stench of death and rot feeling her nose, anger boiling in her veins. "They should be up on the balcony by now, Marowski is giving some kind of speech or some bull, they plan to hang Hancock like he hung Vic all those  years ago." The ghoul told her, she nodded, passing her laser rifle to Guy.

"You guys sneak into the crowd, get a good angle in case this goes south. I'm going to the balcony." They nodded, the blonde hesitating a moment, but did as he was told in the end. The raven walked into the state house, not surprised to find it empty, Marowski was a cocky bastard. Didn't think about the details. Not like John who was always prepared.

Two things she did, upon getting to the second floor. The first was to go into John's office and taking some Psycho from his coffee table, shooting it up with a grown as she vision darkened into deep red. Rolling her shoulders, ignore the unsteady rhythm of her heart. "I can do this. I am going to rip that fucker apart." She growled as she stalked across the way to John's room.

Outside she could hear an up roar starting, she needed to hurry! Running across the room, past the stairs, she threw open the balcony door. The sun almost blinding. The world slowing to a crawl as she looked up, seeing a familiar ghoul clad in red standing on the railing before her, back to her with his hands tied there. A rope around his neck, trailing to the rail he stood upon. Tell tale tears in his clothes and bruises on his ruined skin where seen, dried flecks of blood here and there, his hat missing. He was slouched slightly, looked to be in a fair amount of discomfort. That must have beaten the hell out of him.

On either side of her was two startled men. The voices blurred in her ears, sounding miles away as she turned to look at Marowski, seeing the sadistic grin on his face as he looked back at her. His hand shot out, she screamed, but he had already pushed the good mayor off the balcony.

Silence echoed in her mind deafeningly. Eyes wide in horror as she watched John tip off into the air, reaching out in vein to catch him, but it was too late. The rope when tight and the world sped up. She screamed and turned viciously punching the gang leader in the face, the man growling and barely flinching, someone grabbed her from behind.

But she reacted fast, kicking her feet into the railing and pushing off hard, slamming the guy into the wall with all the force she could. Hearing with a satisfied smile as his rib cage collapsed under the weight of the unexpected blow and the man coughed, letting her go. "Little bitch! I'll show you whose boss!" Marowski grinned, moving to hit her, but she ducked.

Her fist shot out, slamming into his gut and making him stagger. Somewhere she heard a gunshot, but she was far more focused on killing this man in front of her.

Below, someone had shot the rope holding Hancock up, the ghoul tumbling to the ground in a heaving mess. Coughing and struggling to draw air into his lungs as someone dropped beside him and pulled the rope off his neck, "Are you okay!?"

The ghoulish man smirked without much humor, "Peachy..." Came the snarky reply, he lifted his eyes to the balcony above, unable to make out the fight exactly. The crowd cheering like mad, Kent standing among them, tears of relief in his eyes. "Tear him apart Shroud!"

John's black eyes widened, getting to his feet the moment the blonde man who had stopped to help him had freed his hands. In a trance he moved to where he would see the balcony, watching in a dreamlike state as the familiar raven beat the shit out of Marowski. She looked like an animal again, even in all the pristine white, now splashed in crimson blood. Both her own from the bloodied lip she sported and Marowski's.

The gang-banger cursed loudly and lunged, grabbing the raven around the middle and slamming her into the rails, a loud crack responding from the aged wood. It gave way a second later, both of them crashing to the ground. John sucking in a sharp breath, shoving past the spectators to get to them, but Luella was already up again.

Struggling to stay standing, holding her ribs and panting softly, the chems wearing off. Leaving her dizzy and weak, but she was not giving up, she couldn't. "I'll fucking tear you apart you bastard!!" This man had hurt someone she loved and for that she would destroy him. But someone lay a gentle hand on her shoulder, stepping up to block her from her target, "I got this darlin', you take a break."

That voice, gruff and beautiful, filled her ears. Filled her heart, refilled the empty hole that had formed during their time apart. The smell of chems and gun oil wafting into her as he passed her, kicking Marowski in the gut hard enough to send him rolling. All at once she felt her heart slow, felt the past days rush into her like the crash of a wave against a worn rock and she crumbled beneath it. Somewhere voices called out to her, but she was just too tired to respond as the black filled her vision...

* * *


	18. Devil's Danse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wan to apologize to anyone who got confused! I thought I posted Collateral Damage before this one and didn't and did not realize till now! So sorry!!!!

"How exactly did you think this was a short cut?" Hancock asked quietly, warily scanning the ruins of Cambridge around them as they headed in the direction of some lab that Sterges had asked them to scavenge for some things needed back in Sanctuary. The only reason they had even gone back to Sanctuary was because Luella had been worried about Fluffy, she hadn't made sure the creature had known to go back to the little hamlet, so first thing after leaving Goodneighbor they headed straight there. And now here they were, traversing dangerously close to College Square.

The raven glanced at him from the paper map she was using to guide them, since X6 didn't know where they were it would likely be some time before she got that _Pip-Boy_ back. Though after what happened she could care less. "It was this or swimming across the river." She pointed out, to which John said nothing more, because swimming was not his strong suit. Not that he figured she knew that nor was he going to supply the information.

Luella paused on the cracked pavement, something seeming to have caught her attention as she folded up the map and stuffed it in her bag, blue eyes looking toward the ruins on their right. "You hear that?"

Hancock frowned, listening for a moment, catching the distance sounds of gun fire echoing among the buildings near by. "Yeah, sounds like a hell of a party." He replied at length, not making a move toward the sound or even preparing for a fight like the woman with him, whose arm he grabbed as she made for the ruins. "Wait a second Darlin', I don't think you understand where we are..."

"What do you mean? This is Cambridge. I was trapped in-"

"Not what I mean. College Square is up that way. It's not exactly a place people go and for damn good reason...Its crawling with ferals. Needless to say people who go there _don't_ come back..." John told her grimly, the sounds of the fight seeming to echo louder. Blue eyes shifted from the ghoul's face to the sounds of the struggle, a deep frowning marring her lips, expression turning thoughtful a moment. "All the same. A Minuteman's job is to help people at a moments notice, no matter what. I wouldn't be much of a General if I knowingly abandoned people in need."

The mayor let her go, smirking a little, "Ya got a fair point sister. Lets join the party then!" This was insane, like going up against the super mutants all over again, but she was right. If people needed helping they would help them. So he pulled out his shotgun, following her up the hill and into the ruins toward the sound.

Up ahead they could see the old police station, it looked as if someone had tried to fortify it, an old semi-truck and trailer pressed against a tall guard post that formed a half circle around the front of the building. The whole area was swarming with feral ghoul's, all trying to get at the station where someone could be heard screaming at the creatures, the sounds of a laser gun going off almost every few seconds.

Luella ducked beside an over turned car, Hancock just behind her, "What's the plan?" He asked, not seeing an opening. The raven fished in her pack a moment, before revealing a grenade, a devilish smile on her lips. "I was thinking of blowing a hole in the wall...Y'know, roll this under that truck and blast those things to hell."

"Sounds fun." He smirked back, taking the grenade from her and moving toward the ferals, they paid him no mind. Like typical ferals, if he didn't fire first they usually ignored him. Being a ghoul had its advantages. Pulling the pin, he tossed the explosive under the truck and rushed to the opposite side of the street, ducking behind a low wall there, waiting the few breath taking seconds before the truck blew into a fire ball. Effectively knocking the creatures away.

Luella was moving the moment the blast went off, pistol aimed and taking out one after another of the ferals with deadly efficiency, ducking behind the guard fence. She discovered a man in power armor and two others on the steps of the station, one appeared to be badly injured while someone tended to them. The man in the armor was the one trying to hold the ferals off, looking more than a little surprised to see her, but not having time to say much as they were quickly over run again.

Hancock appeared from a side entrance of the guard gate, a shot from a laser rifle striking the wall dangerously close to his head. Startled only a fraction of a second, "I'm on **_your_** side moron!" He growled out, backing around the small area to continue the fight, but keeping a wary eye on the stranger they were helping. Something in his gut told him not to trust this guy. He kept glancing not only at him, but Luella who was standing to close to the man for his liking as she backed herself a little farther from the ferals all fighting to get at them. She seemed unaware of what she was doing as far as the stranger was concerned, too focused on survival.

Only once the last one was down did Luella lower her weapon, reloading it and tucking it into the waistband of her jean shorts, shirt pulled over it. Looking first for John, smiling a small amount in relief to see him fine, before turning to the man in armor. "We appreciate the assistance civilian, but what's your business here?" The man asked in this stern sort of military manner, the raven felt it was a familiar way of talking, considering her late husbands background, but all the same set her on edge. Then again the things that set her off these days was a fairly long list.

"Just trying to survive, like everyone else." It wasn't a lie, but it wasn't the whole truth, she didn't trust him. He narrowed his eyes, which darted a moment over her shoulder. She need not look to see why, hearing the clicking of a lighter and the tell tale warmth that always seemed to follow Hancock around like he was a space heater caressed her shoulder lightly, comfortingly. "The way you charged in and handled those ferals? I find that a bit hard to believe." The man replied after a moment, "Are you from a local settlement?"

Luella nodded, the smallest smirk pulling at her lips as she replied, "That's right. We're from Goodneighbor, its not too far from here in the Boston ruins, at the old State House." John let out a small noise, something akin to surprise and amusement, while the man before them narrowed his eyes only further. "I see. I've seen the location on our maps, but I've never been there myself, nothing in that area for us to collect. If I appear suspicious, its because our mission here has been difficult. Ever since we arrived in the Commonwealth we've been constantly under fire."

Hancock snorted softly, letting out a little cloud of stale smoke, "Can't imagine why..." He mumbled under his breath, receiving a glare from the armored man, Luella raised a brow in question. John knew something she didn't, clearly. But he didn't get the chance to elaborate. The armored man continued, "If you want to continue pitching in we could use an extra gun on our side."

Luella thought it over a moment, glancing back at John, who shrugged, but looked annoyed. Clearly didn't like the idea. Her eyes then traveled to the two near the doors of the station, they wouldn't last much longer like this, if more ferals jumped them or something worse came along, they were doomed. A sigh left her and against her better judgement she nodded, "I'll help...but I want an explanation first. Who are you people and why are you hold up here?"

The man nodded, understanding and a small amount of relief in his features, "I'm Paladin Danse, Brotherhood of Steel. Over there is Scribe Halen and Knight Reese. We're on a recon mission, but I'm down a man and our supplies are low. I've been trying to send a distress call to my superiors, but our signal is too weak. What we need is a deep range transmitter, I believe I've located one in the Arc-Jet Systems building not far from here." The explanation was lacking and didn't tell them much, but she supposed it would do for now.

The raven ran a hand through her wild hair, just to give her hands something to do, distract herself from the wary feeling in her stomach. "As it turns out, we were headed there anyway. I have a request from a friend for supplies from that location, so we can all go together."

Danse nodded, "Good. Your welcome to resupply with what little we have here and we can leave when your ready."

Again Luella smirked, "Already prepared, lets go." She had to wonder if these people were crazy or stupid, it sounded to her like this recon mission hadn't been planned out too well. Danse lead the way around to the back of the building and onto the cracked road, going on to explain to them that his team was the third to come to the Commonwealth in the past year, one had gone missing and another had come back successful. Thus his team being sent in.

"Exactly why are you coming out here? Seems like your having more trouble than its worth." Hancock commented from where he was following up the rear just behind Luella, Danse didn't look back, but answered none the less. "Our duties are to study and retrieve technology that could be useful to our cause."

The raven frowned at this, her eyes flashing with something unreadable, "So your greedily gathering up and hording things for yourselves that could potentially help other people." She said flatly, much to the armored mans distaste, he stopped and turned to face her. The movement wasn't fast, considering his lumbering armor suit, but it was fast enough to startle the jumpy woman who instinctively stepped back. Pressing herself a bit closer to John, but not close enough anyone might get ideas. "We are only trying to prevent another war." Danse pointed out, giving her an odd look, seeming to notice the sudden radstag in headlights look.

John made a noise, scoffing at the man, black eyes darting to the raven a moment. "Yeah? Ya leaving out the part about how you guys are going around **cleansing** those that don't look like you or agree with your bullshit?" Danse glared at him and turned, moving on up the road to the factory in the distance. Luella hesitated to follow, glancing at the ghoul with her, but he said nothing more about it.

Worry marred her features, pulling at the scars across the left side of her face, blue eyes looking ahead as she followed the Paladin. She wasn't liking the sounds of all this, but she couldn't stand by if people needed help. If nothing else she could turn to her Minutemen to stop them if they truly intended harm to people that didn't deserve it.

Danse stopped outside the building they were targeting and turned to her, "Lets make this quick and quiet. No need to start a fight if its avoidable. Though I have doubts we'll find much trouble here."

"This isn't my first rodeo..." She pointed out calmly, cocking her pistol and readying herself for anything. Not liking his condescending attitude. "I have no doubt of that. But it wouldn't hurt you to take an order." With that the man entered ahead of her, leaving a stunned raven behind. Maybe she was just too used to being in charge, but that had struck a nerve. He acted as if she was stupid or child to be commanded.

Following him in, they found the building seemingly abandoned, but Danse stopped short in a room littered with destroyed Protectron units. "Hold up. Looks like we might have trouble."

"Looks like we missed a party."

Danse shot a glare in John's direction, the ghoul at ease, shotgun hanging at his side in a lazy manner with a half-burned smoke between his lips. "Take a closer look. There's not a drop of blood or spent shell casing anywhere. Its a sure sign the Institute has been here."

Luella stiffened at the realization, tightening her grip on her gun to hide the tremble of her hand, this could be bad. Real bad. Hancock seemed to pick up on her unease, always the perceptive devil he was, moving closer to her and appearing to move past her. But she felt something being slipped into her free hand, curling her fingers around it gratefully. An inhaler. "I'll go on ahead and make sure its safe." She said in a calm voice, moving on down the narrow hall into a lab like room with terminals, glad Danse hadn't followed. Something told her he was the type to pitch a fit about chem use, like Preston. And she was not in the mood for that bullshit right now. Taking a deep inhale of the fumes, she leaned back on the wall, unaware John too had stayed behind.

Not that he had wanted to, but Danse had stepped in his way, blocking him from following her. "I'd like to know what your relationship is with that woman." He said simply, a question that held curiosity and malice, disdain in his eyes as he looked down at the ghoul who was at least a foot shorter compared to the man in the armor. Hancock smirked a little, seeming relaxed, but his grip on his shotgun tightened. "Your not her type, if that's what your thinking."

Danse narrowed his brown eyes, "Just like a non-human to avoid the question. Your a disgusting monster who should be purged from this world. The only reason I've not killed you yet is out of respect, but I fully intended to make that woman see that all non-humans are nothing but monsters. So if your smart, you'll leave now." With that the man turned and went into the next room.

John grit his teeth against the anger that welled in his chest, wanting nothing more than to blow that mans brains across the fucking walls. But he held it in, followed him into the next room. He would be damned if that man was getting near his little bird. He didn't know what his intentions or goals were in provoking him, but he wasn't going to let it happen.

Luella was messing around with a terminal when he came into the room, looking at least a little more relaxed now, no doubt thanks to the Jet. He had made her cut done on the stuff lately, considering what had happened the other day, made her promise to only take the chems lightly. Neon eyes lifted slightly from the screen to meet his black ones, a smile ghosting over those lips a moment, before she looked back down. Was there a chance Danse could change her mind about him? Really? Was it possible she would see him for the monster he knew himself to be...? The questions and doubts ate at his mind, distracted him the rest of the time they were in the building.

The raven noticed the way her ghoul seemed distracted, she wasn't sure what was bothering him. And she never got the chance to ask, given that they soon found themselves bombarded by gen ones and twos. Luella had to be careful, the synths seemed confused by her presence, probably because they had all been reprogrammed to consider her a friendly and now she was shooting them. She wondered if Shaun would be upset. It would defiantly be a fun conversation to explain why she had been forced to kill them.

None the less the whole thing seem to go over fine, aside from almost cooking Danse when she had mistakenly turned on the experimental jet engine in the room he was fighting off synths in. Which had been mildly terrifying for a few minutes because she had not seen John anywhere around when she looked through the observation window and it took a few minutes before she realized he had been in the hall between that room and the one she was in. Thankfully he had gotten away with minor burns. Once the transmitter was retrieved they headed outside, taking a moment to regroup.

Danse turned to her once they had settled a bit, caught their breath, "That could have gone smoother." He said in that stern, somewhat condescending tone, his height not the only reason he was looking down on her now. The raven holstered her gun, crossing her arms tightly in a manner that screamed of defiance, "I thought we did fine." Luella replied coolly, shooting the man a hard look.

"It was sloppy at best. But I will admit, your a good fighter. In fact, I think you could make a great addition to the Brotherhood. We could train you to be a real soldier. You would have shelter and food aplenty. No more mercenary work. What do you say?" He sounded so hopeful, his brown eyes glittering a little like Kent's did whenever she brought him _Silver Shroud_ memorabilia. But she had no intentions of pleasing him like she strove to for Kent. "Sorry, but I'll pass."

"What?" Danse looked so dumbfounded, like someone had told him up was backwards and down was left and his dick was now inside out.

Luella tightened her arms over her chest, looking up at him with all the confidence of a General. "Look, I'm sure you think your intentions are good and what your doing is a great cause. But I don't agree with the idea of 'cleansing' people for any reason, people have a right to survive. Besides, I've got enough on my hands running the Minutemen." She told him, almost laughing at how he was gaping like a fish out of water, "Plus, I don't appreciate being treated like a stupid kid." She smirked a little, feeling a bit vindictive suddenly, "I wasn't named General for nothing, certainly not for the pretty face. Now, if you'll excuse us, I really need to get these materials delivered." Luella handed him the transmitter, more like shoved it into his shocked arms, and turned to leave.

"You would rather travel with that _monster_ than become part of the Brotherhood?" Danse almost growled the words, the anger obvious in his voice. John was slightly ahead of Luella, in her line of sight and she saw the way he went rigid, his fists curled tight at his sides, no doubt bothered by the comment. But it was not his reaction that made her stop, made her angrier than she could ever remember as she turned on Danse, her blue eyes flaring to a bright glow in the dim setting sunlight. The raven whirled back around and marched back up to Danse, punching him straight in the nose, despite the clear height difference, without much thought to the consequences. "I'm only telling you this **once**. You **_EVER_** say something like that again and I'll tear your fucking head off and stuff it so far up your ass your Brotherhood buddies will have a pretty fucking hard time finding it!" The raven girl shouted as the armored man held his bleeding face, one eye shut and one staring wide at her in disbelief, "In fact, you ever show your face around me again and I'll be hard pressed not to put a hole between your eyes."

Danse looked stunned by the strike, holding his clearly busted nose as blood coated his fingers, looking down at the small raven woman in astonishment. He couldn't help noticing the way her eyes were lite like candles in the night, but couldn't find the words to ask. "I strongly suggest you and your 'Brotherhood' get the fuck out of _my_ Commonwealth or so help me there _will_ be a war on your hands." Luella turned then, marching down the hill at a fast pace, Hancock having already gone on ahead.

He still seemed distracted when she caught up to him, shaking out her hand with an annoyed noise, damn that stung. "I think I bruised my knuckles." She grumbled softly, walking next to him. Hancock had his hands in his pockets and didn't look over, his eyes straight ahead with a frown marring his scared lips. "You don't have to defend me...I'm used to being seen as a monster." The raven frowned at the words, heart thudding painfully, "John..." She reached out to touch his arm, but he pulled away, turning a thin smile to her. "Don't worry about it, okay? We need to get back."

* * *

 

Far to the north, on the coast, was a fairly large house. The Nakano residence. Luella and John's destination as it were to start this case from Nick. A full two day journey and it was well into the evening of the second day that they arrived at the house, a thick fog having rolled in from the sea casting everything in an eerie mist lite only by the soft glow of lantern light in the windows of the house down on the beach. The sound of the waves on the rocks and the occasional mewl of a cat was the only sound they heard, outside of course from a man yelling uselessly at a ham radio in the house.

Luella could see the man through the holes in the curtain covering the glass-less windows as she stepped up to the door and knocked, being polite. The man growled and cursed in the house, stomping loudly over to the door and swinging it open, "We don't have time for any caravans or whatever you are today." He said sternly, about to slam the door on them, but John put his foot out with an annoyed expression.

"Look pal, we're not here to make trouble-" The raven put a hand on the ghoul's arm to stop him, he sounded pretty irritable today, had since Cambridge in fact. But she didn't know why and he kept avoiding the subject. She smiled at the disheveled man in the fishing overalls, "We're sorry, we've come from Valentine Detective Agency. We got a report someone needed help with a case?" She said in her sweetest tone, smiling that ten watt smile that was clearly forced, but weirdly fooled people. Well, fooled most people.

Hancock didn't see her smile like that very often, usually when she was just trying to be nice or hide something painful. The man in the house raised his brows and gaped, before letting them in with an apology, "I'm so glad your here! I was starting to wonder if anyone would even come!" He said walking over to a woman, his wife no doubt, who stood next to the old radio on the table. "It's about my daughter, Kasumi, she's missing and I'm afraid she might be in trouble!"

"What can you tell me about her?" They went through some generic questions, what the girl looked like, age, height, so on. Kenji, the girls father, informed her that he thought someone had lured her away using the radio the girl had apparently repaired. The girls mother thought that Kasumi had just decided to strike it out on her own and didn't want to be found. Luella and John separated to search the property for more clues, the ghoul heading upstairs while the raven took the dock house outside.

Luella walked around the dark little boat house, carrying a lantern she borrowed from the Nakano's, lighting the small world around her in golden glow. Searching the desk there she found the combination for a safe near by, which contained a loan holotape labeled _Project Log: Myself_. "What's this?" The raven mumbled to herself, straightening up from her crouch in front of the safe and looking around some more till she found a holotape player, popping the cassette in and hitting play.

She sat down at the desk, listening curiously as a young girl explained how she had made connection with a settlement near a place called _Far Harbor_ , more specifically a refuge just for synths called Acadia. It sounded as if the poor girl questioned her humanity and had run off looking for answers. Luella could understand that, in a way. Trying to find ones place and purpose in the world.

So caught up in her thoughts, she didn't notice the lantern light waning till it flickered out and cast her into darkness. A livid curse left her has she scrambled around to find the damned thing, touching the hot glass by mistake and cursing again, popping a burned finger into her mouth. "Need to not space out darlin'." The calm, rough voice startled her, the raven jumping nearly a foot out of her chair that clattered to the ground. "Fucking hell! John?!"

A soft chuckle from near by and a light came to life from the lantern in the ghoul's hands, black eyes glimmering  with humor, "'Course. Heh, as cute as it is to see you jump like a mouse, you should really pay attention to your surroundings. Want me to trust you then you need to prove to me you ain't going to get offed in the middle of a day dream when I'm not around." The tone he used was both teasing and serious, but his smile was gentle enough. She let out a breath and shot him a glare, "I wasn't off in a daydream. I found out where that girl went." At least he seemed over his funk now.

"Yeah?"

Luella nodded, "Some place called Far Harbor. Lets go tell the Nakano's see what they say." Together they went back up to the large oceanside house to talk to the girls parents once more. An hour later they were getting ready to set sail for the island known as Far Harbor, far to the north. Kenji had been nice enough to give them a far amount of caps, a boat and even camping gear. He told them the island was mostly wilderness, but for one small town on the water front.

The raven stood on the dock, looking out over the dark ocean past the medium sized vessel they would be voyaging on. John was in the boat, arranging the gear in the small cabin at the helm. The ghoul frowned at the distant look on her face when he left the cabin to get more of the food and things they were taking, "What's the matter?" She looked down at him a moment, before looking away, thinking carefully over her words. "I was...just wondering where you and I stand."

Hancock tilted his head slightly, the statement was sobering in a strange way. He let out a heavy sigh, removing his hat to run a hand over his head, "With everything that's happened the last couple of days...I..." He paused, grit his teeth and tried to find the words he wanted to say, the things he had been avoiding. "When that Courser took you I thought I might never see you again. I stayed in that place for hours, waiting, hoping. And then I just started walking...I don't know why I even went to Sanctuary, you've never exactly seemed happy there, but I thought maybe that's where you would go if you escaped. It was two days and then I heard about Goodneighbor having some new mayor and just...left. Without much thought." He took a deep breath thinking back on it and feeling suddenly guilty, if he had stayed she would have found him. It was in fact the first place she went. "When I was standing on that balcony, with a noose around my neck...I felt empty. Even more so than I can ever remember. Like everything I cared about, had clawed for, was ripped out of my hands. I think...I think I really understood how you felt before you met Nate and after you lost him. Like there was nothing really left for you."

The ghost of a haunted smile turned up his ruined lips then, his black eyes distant. "And then you appeared, like some kind of gift being dropped back in my lap all over again. It was like the color had returned to the world. But it wasn't as crisp and sweet as I was hoping...When you told me about your son and how he's in charge of those monsters I was...well I was angry." He let out a bitter laugh, glaring at nothing particular, "And then that bastard Danse...He just reminded me what I am. Like I had forgotten or something. All I'm going to do is cause you trouble in the end, people are going to look at you different the more time you spend with me.  And I just don't know what to do...People don't like ghouls and don't look any more kindly on those who sympathize with one, let alone sleep with one." His fists shook at his sides as he grit his teeth, hating the way he felt like a disgusting monster. Like he was nothing but bad for her and would never be worthy of being her friend, let alone more than that.

Luella let the silence stretch, feeling a painful lump forming in her throat, heart hammering so hard in her rib-cage she feared it was starting to crack and fray. Her fingers shook slightly at her side, pulling them into fists to hide the tremor, she forced up this smile. No joy in it, nothing but the pain she tried so hard to ignore, to hide. "Are you...trying to break up with me?" Her voice was surprisingly even, empty, held hardly a hint of the pain as John looked up at her confused. 

"What?"

"I wouldn't blame you. I can't imagine how hard a pill it is to swallow." She began, her fists building a slow tremor of their own despite how hard she strained to hold it in, "I mean...the Institute is the worst thing to ever happen to the Commonwealth. They kidnap and kill people with no thought of the consequence or the people they hurt. Fuck, my own son called his fathers murder _collateral damage_ like it meant absolutely nothing. Their dangerous to everyone and far more judgmental of people on the surface than the people in Diamond City and the Brotherhood combined!" Hancock was stunned, was that really how it sounded? Like he was trying to just say goodbye? After everything they had been through? Luella swallowed hard, not meeting John's eyes as he stepped onto the dock beside her, "Staying with me could me your death. So I don't blame you if you want to walk away now. But...Don't ever think I'll think of you as less than the brave, handsome, charismatic man- _Mayor_ you are. Your not a monster to me and never will be."

Slowly, gently he cupped her cheek, smoothing his thumb over her skin lightly as he lifted her face to look at him. Seeing the tears pooled in those blue eyes made him want to cry, "Darlin', leaving you is the farthest thing from my mind." Leaning down, he kissed her softly, linger there a few minutes before laying his forehead to hers. "I just don't like the idea that I have to pretend I don't love you. I'm angry because they destroyed your happiness all over again and I don't know what to do about it. I don't want us to hide this. I don't want them to make you feel like this or like hiding is the answer. I hate that they make this feel like its supposed to be wrong and its not." He took a deep breath, calming the welling anger in his heart, "And I don't want you to regret having me around in the end. You have no idea how ghouls are treated. Let alone those who would claim to love one of us."

Luella chocked back a sob, biting her lip harshly. Not out of sorrow, but joy did tears spring from her eyes this time as she hugged the tall ghoul, burying herself a moment in his warmth. Babbling out soft apologies while they stood there in the dark, "I would never regret anything with you John!" She mumbled against his chest as he hugged her back tightly, smiling softly against her hair.

"Is everything alright out there?!"

Kenji Nakano's voice startled them both, the two separating like teenagers who got caught by their parents. Luella blushed deeply, looked at John who looked back with dark cheeks of his own. "Heh, whoops." He grinned a bit, rubbing the back of his neck and gathering the rest of the load for the trip.

"We're fine!"

Before long they were out on the choppy ocean waves, a nasty storm raging outside. Despite the late hour, neither could sleep thanks to the sound of the thunder and the constant rocking of the boat. They sat curled up next to each other under a large blanket on the floor of the boat cabin. "So...can you swim?" John asked, breaking the silence and making Luella lift her head from his shoulder with a guilty sort of look. "Uh...yes and no."

The ghoul raised a hairless brow, "The hell do you mean 'yes and no'?" The raven looked at the blanket over them, biting her lip bruisingly as she played with a stray thread, "I mean...well I can if the water isn't too...wild. It wasn't exactly a needed skill when I was young. I was learning to survive in the city, not in a wasteland. So...yeah." John hummed softly in thought, curious now. Despite the glimpse he had gotten into her life before he still didn't know everything, so he was naturally wondering about the things he hadn't seen. "What sort of skills did you learn?"

The raven thought the question over a moment, "Well...I learned how to pick someone's pocket without getting noticed. How to pick locks with almost anything. It wasn't the most glamorous skill, stealing I mean, but it kept me alive anyway."

He could understand that, wasn't like he was perfect by any means, so he had no room to judge her for that. The near silence stretched on again and she lay her head back down on his shoulder, comfortable there. "I don't want to hide either." She said suddenly, surprising her beloved ghoul who looked down at her with widened dark eyes. "I'm just scared what they might do to you if they found out about us. I don't trust Shaun as far as I can throw him. He's too dismissive about people's lives and I'm afraid he might kill you and just look at me and tell me it was for the greater good or something." John didn't answer, just thought about those words, how much sense they made. Even if he hated them.

Luella was startled when John sat up suddenly and pulled her to him, kissing her deep and long. Her worry seemed to fade a little by the time he pulled away with this confident smile on his lips, "Then lets convince him how important people are...how important we are to each other." The raven bit her lip again, looking away a moment, was that such a good idea? Then again...maybe she could change Shaun's view of the world, he seemed genuinely interested in being family again. And Family accepted each other for everything that came with them, including their choice in boyfriends.

"Maybe...your right. Maybe we can change their minds."

"Love, you changed the minds of everyone in Sanctuary about me. I'm sure you can change more minds if we put our heads together. Besides, you just have that way of changin' people for the better, I don't know why. But, its just one of those things I love about you." Hancock smiled, more than sure it was possible to change the Commonwealth's views of ghouls, or at least some of them. The Institute might be more tricky, but he was willing to stay by her side, no matter the cost.

Luella smiled softly back, relaxed there against the wall of the boat cabin, the storm having at last calmed down outside and no longer tossing their vessel here and there. It was almost easy to ignore the slight rocking of the boat now in favor of the ghoul looming over her with his silvery eyes and scared lips pulled into smirk, "I know we need to sleep and all...but I'm not the least bit tired, I don't know about you." She whispered, her own lips turned up slightly in mischief, blue eyes glittering in the near darkness.

John's own eyes were already glimmering in understanding, he leaned forward to catch her sweet lips, but fortune never seemed to favor them. The ship slammed into something, causing it to jolt violently, the ghoul loosing his balance. His hand slipped from where he had it against the wall near her head and he tilted forward too fast slamming his head into Luella's, both of them yelping in the sudden shock waves of pain it brought with it.

The raven rubbed the spot on her forehead, she felt a knot forming, hissing softly and getting to her bare feet, having taking her shoes off some time back to get more comfortable. She opened the door to the cabin and looked outside, "At least the storm calmed down..." The raven mumbled, John groaning as he sat up, getting his own boots back on before getting to his feet to join her. "Great...the hell did we hit though?"

Luella was already climbing onto the small lip that ran around the front of the boat, it was cold, wet and slippery, but it didn't stop her. Holding to the side of the cabin roof for support, she made her way to the front for a better look. John leaned over the edge, unable to see her after a moment, a thick fog seemed to roll in around the boat and the lack of sunlight didn't help. "You alright? See anything?" He called out into the silence, for a moment all he heard back was the lapping of the waves, "Luella?! Seriously, you okay?!"

"I see...lights, in the distance. I think we're almost there." She replied at last, coming back around, she let the ghoul help her back down into the boat. "I couldn't see what we hit, but it doesn't seem like we took any damage." She told him as she went back into the cabin and pulled on her shoes, checking that her gun as loaded before stuffing it into the back of her shorts and pulling the tattered shirt she wore over it, knife stuck into a make shift holster on her leg. John was already prepared by the time she was finished and the boat pulled up to the dock, the sounds of two people arguing reaching them, "Think we're expecting a fight?" Hancock asked, leading the way out of the cabin, hands in his pockets, he pulled on that intimidatingly cocky smile he used when he was in Goodneighbor.

"No idea. Doesn't hurt to be prepared though."

As they stepped onto the dock they were greeted by a gray haired woman and an angry looking man with a gun, "We don't want your kind here mainlander, so just get back on your boat and-"

"That's enough. The dock belongs to the town, which means strangers are welcome." The old woman bit out at her companion, before turning a wary smile to Luella and John, "But he's got a point. Not all mainlanders mean well...can I ask why your here?"

"I'm a detective, I was hired to find a young woman named Kasumi. I believe she may have come through here." Luella explained to the woman, shoulders squared and seeming very much like the Minuteman General she was and not the normally shy and jumpy creature Hancock knew was her nature. Maybe being so far away from the Commonwealth gave her the confidence boost back she had lost over the past week?

John distractedly lite a cigarette, taking a long huff and blowing out a slow cloud. Black eyes noticed the armed man, with the woman who introduced herself as Avery, was glaring at him with some mixture of disgust and hatred. Normally this was something the ghoulish man would ignore, but given recent events over the past few days he felt the unbearable urge to be a bit cockier than he had in a long time and smirked, "What's the matter? Never seen someone so handsome before? Should take a picture, last ya a hell of a lot longer." He winked, satisfied when the man growled and opened his mouth to say something, only to receive an elbow in the gut by Avery. It also didn't escape the good mayor's notice that a certain raven let out a soft laugh behind her hand, before covering it up in a cough.

The conversation was cut short by a distant yell and the sound of someone ringing a bell, Avery paled with wide eyes, "Listen, I'll answer any questions you have, but right now we need help! The hull is under attack, follow me! Please?!" Luella needed no more prompting, unholstering the gun from under her shirt and following the graying woman up a flight of stairs half hidden in the darkness and fog, John close behind, cigarette forgotten on the pier.

The stairs let out on a narrow walk way over looking a set of gates and the area beyond the small harbor town, ruins and fog shrouded in darkness as far as the eye could see, which was not far. "Eyes sharp, somethings in the fog!" Someone yelled near by down the over hang, silence following a few moments as all present peered into the shadows.

"See anything?" John asked softly, leaning down close to Luella's ear, the raven humming a negative at first, before lifting her gun and freezing. "Wait...Someone's coming." She whispered and sure enough four people, two carrying one with an injured leg, came running toward the gate.

"Let us in! Mavis is hurt!" The one in the lead begged, but no one moved to open the gate, someone firmly telling them no, that something else was coming and they would not risk the safety of anyone else inside. John grit his teeth, beside him Luella gasped, whispering in astonishment, "Their going to let them die out there?!"

Not soon after large shapes came toward the light with guttural growls, gnashing teeth and claws, rushing toward the helpless people below the over hang like an easy meal. Shots rang out, but the beasts were quick footed and resilient. The raven took aim and fired a few shots, but that pistol was a lot less reliable than her rifle she had lost, especially at any long range. One of the beasts managed to snag the injured man, tearing into his already wounded leg and shaking him around like a dog might a bit of meat.

Luella cursed, she couldn't just stay up there like a coward while someone's life was on the line, "Cover me!" She told John over her shoulder, vaulting over the low railing and landing easily on the ground before he could stop her. Someone above yelled. Hancock let out a livid curse, turning his shotgun toward the beast nearest her, keeping it at bay at least with a few well aimed shots. He wasn't sure what the fuck those things were, but his weapon did little damage to them.

The raven holstered her gun in favor of her knife, taking a flying leap at the one trying to rip off the leg of the screaming man, plunging the blade into its face. The monster roared, letting the leg go and flinging its head back with a howl, throwing the raven into the fog beyond the weird lanterns lined up around the small area near the gate.

She rolled, managing to flip onto her feet and skid to a stop, crouched there in the mist. The mist that seemed to caress her skin like hot water washing over, that was neither painful nor pleasant, but all the same familiar as something tugged strangely at the back of her mind. Blue eyes seemed to alight a little brighter than normal, lighting the fog in front of her, allowing her to see more clearly than she had earlier. The raven didn't need her _Pip-Boy_ to know the fog was radioactive, not real bad, but bad enough to trigger that weird feeling she had gotten just before losing it in the crater only a week or so prior.

Luella was just sitting there in the dark, seeming lost in a daze. Hancock fired off a shot at the beast she had only just been fighting, heart hammering in worry. Why was she just sitting there?! The ghoul cursed, leaping over the edge of the railing himself, paying no mind to someone above calling him a fool. But no sooner did he start toward her did he see the glimmering of the radiation in her eyes, a second before she lunged the nearest beast with savage intent, gutting the thing in seconds before moving on to the next. John stirred left instead, satisfied she had it handled, moving to help the injured man laying out bleeding in the open.

"Come on! Lets get you out of the way, yeah?" He smiled in the friendliest manner a ghoul could, kneeling down and pulling the mans arm over his shoulder, getting him up on his good leg and helping him hobble toward the gate. Behind him the fight seemed to be winding down, but the gate was apparently no closer to opening as someone insisted it wasn't over yet. "This is ridiculous..." John mumbled in irritation as carefully sat the guy, Mavis, down near where the gates would open, he hoped soon. Kneeling on his knee there beside the ginger haired man, he reached in his bag and pulled out some Med-X, "Here, this ought to help with the pain at least." The ghoul said, giving the chem to the wary looking man who gave him a small, grateful smile.

Luella backed toward the gate, eyes locked on the darkness. Crouching near Hancock, reloading her pistol and sheathing her knife, "I have a bad feeling about this..." She murmured, referring to more than their present situation, something deep inside said this island was going to bring a lot of trouble their way. "So your coherent?" The ghoul asked softly, examining what he could see of her face as she nodded, relieved that whatever had triggered that animalistic side of her had not taken over completely like it had in the crater. Wouldn't be easy explaining her glowing eyes, let alone why she turned into a wild animal when dosed with enough rads. Not that they could actually explain it anyway, neither knew what was really happening to her.

It was over an hour later before they found themselves in the only Inn, and bar, in the town called the Last Plank. Avery had told them to seek out a man named Longfellow, that he could take them to the place Kasumi had gone. Apparently Synths were welcome on the island, Acadia was well known by the town folk. This came as a surprise to them both.

They also discovered the fog was indeed radioactive and that it covered most the island, which was why there was only one town. Worse part about it was there was a colony of Children of Atom followers on the island as well, something that set both of them on edge and made sleeping difficult. 


	19. Atom Bomb Baby

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, after nearly a year I have an update for the story! Goodness, I'm sorry this took so long! Thank you all for sticking around so far, for all the wonderful comments and the kudos! <3

Luella glared ahead as they made their way through the fog, she and John trailed just behind a man named Longfellow who was supposed to be taking them to Acadia. He was telling them a bit about the island and its dangers, seemed to think it would chew them up if he didn't and somewhere in the back of her mind the raven was grateful for the information. But the radiation in the fog was nipping at her consciousness and it was hard as hell to focus on any one thing at the moment, it made her jumpy and she swore she kept seeing shadows following them.

During this she completely lost track of time, her neon eyes following a shape that kept peeking out from corners ahead, unnoticed it seemed by their guide or even Hancock. At some point she realized they had stopped, Longfellow arguing with a woman whom Luella turned her eyes on at last after a minute or two of staring ahead at the trees. The woman was without a doubt a worshiper of Atom, if her clothes and the thinning hair clinging to her head were any signs. The woman seemed to take notice of her now, bloodshot eyes going wide as she moved to approach, but drew up short when both Hancock and Luella drew their guns on her. "Back up!" The raven all but growled the words, not trusting the stranger, her nerves on edge.

The Atom woman narrowed her eyes, "Beware the den of snakes that live atop this mountain, Acadia. Come to the Nucleus, you...you are chosen by Atom, I can see this in your eyes! Be redeemed by his glow and join us!"

Luella shuddered at the words, the woman pointing at her and backing away as she could see the ghoul beside her moving between them, "She said back off. I strongly suggest you do it, rad-sucker." John growled, only relaxing when the woman at last raised her hands in surrender and walked away from them. He did not look at the raven when he spoke next, "You alright?"

"I...I don't know. Lets just get going. I want off this island..." Luella breathed heavily, running a trembling hand through her hair, which was pulled over her shoulder. Taking a few deep breaths, they went on, John sticking closer now than ever as both of them were now on edge. His black eyes kept shooting her concerned glances, "What?" She asked at last, eyeing him warily a moment before her eyes were drawn again to something ahead. "Your eyes darlin'...there like lanterns." He pointed out in a soft whisper so Longfellow, who was chattering away, couldn't hear.

The raven cleared her throat and nodded, "It's the fog...I think. I don't know what it’s doing, but I...I keep seeing shit in the shadows, figures and stuff..." She admitted to him at last, not missing the worried look on his face either, "We need to get off this island...and soon." Hancock agreed with a silent nod, reaching into his bag and handing her a radaway, which she downed without fuss. Though it didn't seem to do any good, she could still see the shadows.

After a bit longer they at last cleared the fog, able to take in the fresh air of the mountain top. Grateful for the reprieve from the rads, Luella took a moment to sit on a rock, leaning over and rubbing her face with her hands. "Remind me to tell Nick the next time he needs me for a job to do a bit of research first..." John laughed a little as he sat beside her, having bid Old Man Longfellow good bye, he pulled some Sugar Bombs from his pack and opened the box, offering her some. The raven woman shook her head, he couldn't ignore how tired and pale she seemed now, but there was an air of health there too that didn't fit with the tiredness in her eyes. Eyes that continued to glow brightly, though it was beginning to fade now, at last.

"That woman...earlier...She said I was Atom's chosen. What do you think she meant?"

John nearly choked on his mouth full of cereal, raising a brow at her. "What the hell does it matter? Those people are all freaks."

Luella sighed heavily and lifted her head, glancing at the trees just down the path, she couldn't see anything. But she could swear someone was watching. Thinking on the shadowy shape it reminded her of something else, a vague image drifting into the forefront of her mind, along with that calm, almost comforting voice…

_ 'It will be okay my child, be calm.' _

_ 'Your destiny...is not yet fulfilled...rise now my child. Show them the true fury of my radiance!' _

The raven frowned as she recalled the words, the moments she heard them had been in the crater, when she had taken in so much of those rads it should have killed her. Would have killed a normal person. Vaguely she could remember feeling a presence with her, like someone was protecting her, somehow or other. Thinking back farther, she could trace that feeling of the presence back to Cambridge, when she was throwing her guts up and thought she was fucking dying. Something had told her it would be okay and it had in the end. "I don't know John...Maybe they can tell me something about, well, whatever this is that's happening to me."

The ghoul gave her a wide eyed look that said he thought she was nuts, "After what those freaks in the crater pulled? Did you hit your head or are you holding out on me with some good fucking chems?"

Luella shrugged, leaning on her elbows against her knees, still looking out at the tree line. "I know it sounds insane. But...But I saw things. In the crater, when I was submerged and just before I blacked out after that deathclaw got me." She told him as she reached up to touch the scars on her face, "I heard a voice too, there and in Cambridge as well. This shadow that's been following me, I've seen it in the trees all the way here. I can't help feeling like it’s calling me, trying to tell me something, but I don't know what or why."

Hancock stared at her, slowly putting his food down. Finally he growled, taking off his hat and rubbing his scared head, "You really do have a fucking death wish..." He mumbled and she half smiled at this, before shaking her head and turning to him, "Look, its crazy. But, maybe, _ MAYBE _ , whatever this is can help me. It could give me an advantage should the whole Institute thing back fire..."

The mayor turned his eyes away, taking a deep breath and nodding, they needed all the help they could get on that front. It was no secret Luella was terrified of those underground menaces. More than once over the past few days she had woken from nightmares, panicked and unable to calm back down for hours. Even with chems. So maybe, as crazy and stupid as it was, letting her do this would help. He could only pray it wouldn’t backfire.

Finally they both stood, deciding they were rested and had stalled enough, they headed into Acadia. Which was set inside a large old observatory. Down a dim hallway there was a large room full of computers and monitors, the raven and her ghoul friend staring around in wonder. John whistled softly, the ghoulish girl at his side nodded in silent agreement. Before them a figure was seated in an odd looking chair, hooked to wires and cords, attached to the many electronics. It appeared to be a synth, barely held together with bulbs sticking out of his mangled head, his face the only thing still mostly intact. He got up from his chair, smiling warmly at the pair.

"Welcome to Acadia. I am DIMa." He greeted them standing atop the small platform at the rooms center, Luella and John looking up at the odd synthetic man, "How can I help you? Are you seeking refuge...? Perhaps questioning your humanity like so many others who have come here?"

The raven shifted a little, raising a brow at the synth, "No, I'm pretty sure I'm human. But you might be able to help us, we're detectives. I'm looking for a girl named Kasumi Nakano, she may have come here in the belief she was a synth." She explained, shifting to her other foot, waiting. DIMa tilted his head a little, "She is here. But first...If its alright, I'd like to ask you a question."

Luella made a face, looking frustrated and annoyed as she nodded, "Alright, shoot."

"What...are your earliest memories?"

"I..." Luella was drawn up short by the question, giving the synth a wary expression, immediately thinking of the day she stumbled into  _ Goodneighbor _ , it was the strongest in her mind. But that wasn't the earliest was it? "I remember...my father. Serving him dinner...He beat me because I burned it." She replied almost mechanically, like she had said it many times before. And she had, years ago to her therapist. DIMa didn't seem to really believe that answer, "You seem as if you don't trust that memory..."

Luella swallowed a sudden thickness in her throat, looking away from the mechanical man, feeling uncomfortable at what he was implying. Worse was the twist in her gut that made her realize he wasn't totally wrong. Those memories, the things she had recalled thanks to Mama Murphy? She knew they were real, but...were they really hers? She'd been worrying about it since going into the Institute, that she had been replaced and not known it. The raven's hands curled into tight fists, trying to control the tremble growing in her fingers. "Do you really believe it was real?" DIMa asked, egging her on for an answer, she felt Hancock's warmth shifting a little closer. No doubt he could tell she was getting upset, "They...their real...I...I know they are. They have to be...Nate...and Shaun...and...they can't implant feelings! Th-they have to be real! I am  _ not _ a synth!" She shouted at the end of it, her voice having been rising slowly and breaking on the last word.

John's hand found hers, squeezing it reassuringly and she uncurled her fingers to lace theirs together, jaw tight. DIMa said nothing for a moment, his glowing eyes watching her, "I never said you were..." His voice was quieter now as he moved to sit again, "Kasumi is downstairs if you wish to talk to her."

And without another word Luella turned, Hancock close behind, following her down the hall to the stairs to seek out Kasumi. "You alright, Sunshine?" John asked her as they descended into the darkness, watching her back, worry in his voice. It was a while before she stopped, letting out a long sigh and turning slightly to look at him over her shoulder, there was fear and sorrow in her eyes. "Do you...do you think I could be? A synth I mean?" John blinked at the question, tilting his head a little, before smirking at her. "Pretty fucking sure you're a human darlin'...Ain't no synth with eyes like yours. And I'm damn sure that synths don't emit the kind of rads you do." He was half teasing, trying to make her feel better and he was relieved when she smiled a little at his words. Running a hand through her hair, Luella let out another sigh, "You have a point..."

"And..." She looked at him when he started talking again, watching him close the small distance between them, heart skipping a beat as he leaned down and kissed her softly. "Even if you were, I would still love you just the same. You're my kind of trouble love and nothing will change that." John murmured the words against her lips, smirking very softly, pulling back to look down into her neon blue eyes with his endless black ones. And for several moments they stayed like that, lost in the endlessness of each others love.

Luella smiled softly, leaning up to place one last small kiss to John's scared lips, before moving to go the rest of the way down the stairs. At ease once more like she had not been since arriving on the island.

At the bottom of the observatory there was a large room with what appeared to be a generator, which a young woman was working on. She was a bit taller than Luella, with dark hair and tan skin, lifting dark eyes to the pair with confusion. "If you have something for me to fix then get in line, I've got more requests than I can take at the moment."

"Actually no, I was wondering if you were Kasumi Nakano?" Luella asked as she crossed her arms in a relaxed way, stopping feet from the girl with John just behind her, his constant warmth an ever present comfort. The girl stiffened, clutching the wrench she had been using to work on the generator like a lifeline, "I'm Kasumi...Who's asking?"

"I'm Luella and this handsome fellow is my partner, Hancock." The raven woman replied, jutting her thumb at the ghoul who smirked, the sound of a Jet inhaler breaking the quiet a moment. "We were sent by the Valentine Detective Agency to investigate your disappearance. Your parents are worried sick about you."

The teen ducked her head, "But...I'm not their daughter...I'm just a synth."

"Kid, synth or not you're the only daughter they have left." John pointed out, hands on his hips, "They love you either way, you shouldn't do this to them. They at least deserve for you to talk to them before up and vanishing. There's not a lot in the wasteland left to give a shit about, but family is something you need to cling to as best ya can..."

Kasumi gazed at the ghoul several moments, before nodding, "Maybe you're right...But I can't leave yet, I-I  think DIMa is hiding something, something that could destroy the whole island! And I'm not leaving till I discover what!" She told them in a quiet, urgent voice. The pair looked at each other and the shorter sighed, this was getting more and more complicated. "Okay...If we help uncover whatever this is will you come back with us?"

"Of course!"

_ Several hours later... _

"I can't believe we're doing this...." John sighed heavily, leaning back on the wall under the dirty window that looked into the room Kasumi told them DIMa met with his companions in secret. Luella sat cross legged beside him, looking too excited, "Come on! This feels like we're real spies! Or or OH! Like the Shroud and the Mistress of Mystery on a secret mission!"

The ghoul snorted, "You've been spending too much time with Kent love. And wouldn't that make me the Mistress since your the Shroud?" The mayor made a face as the raven stifled a laugh, one hand over her mouth and waving the other madly to try and stop. When she recovered at last, she took a deep breath, tears of amusement in the corners of her eyes. "Oh my god! We gotta tell Kent that one! Oh, but you'd be the 'Master of Mystery' since your not a girl! W-we need to get you a costume!"

"Oh no...I am not playing dress up!"

"But John, you dress up all the time!"

"I do no-...fucking hell..." The ghoul put a hand to his face as he realized she was right, letting out a sigh, "What the hell would I even wear?" Luella paused a moment, eyes wide and glowing faintly in the dark, opening her mouth to answer but shutting it seconds later and pushing herself under the window next to him. Putting a finger to her lips to warn him not to speak before pointing up with her other hand. Voices could be heard in the next room.

"We need to accomplish this without bloodshed. The people of Far Harbor and the Children of Atom have a right to exist on this island. Same as us." DIMa began in an urgent tone that sounded as if he was pleading with the others. "Their going to kill each other DiMA, there's no stopping it. We need to pick a side and now." Came a woman's reply, this must be the 'Chase' Kasumi mentioned was one of DiMA's two companions.

"Haven't we already picked a side? Building the Fog Condensers around Far Harbor wasn't exactly a neutral act." Came another male voice, no doubt this was Faraday. "We couldn't just let the people of Far Harbor die to the Fog!" DiMA replied sadly, sounding dejected and frustrated. "Oh, just like you couldn't leave the Children of Atom without a home?"

"The people of Far Harbor had exiled them! And Confessor Martin was a dear friend."

"Well High Confessor Tektus isn't, he's an unstable megalomaniac! Giving them the submarine base was a mistake! The Nucleus, as their calling it, is one big fortified position! Tektus is going to keep threatening us as long as we help Far Harbor!" Chase replied in annoyance, trying to get DiMA to see her view no doubt.

"Guys...can we talk about the elephant in the room? We keep dancing around it..."

"My old memory banks in the submarine base." DiMA sighed after a moment, answering Faraday's comment, silence fell a moment. "I can't believe you never told me about those. I have to wait till their a security risk!?" Chase growled angrily, something thudded near the wall her voice was coming from. Luella didn't dare peak up to see, she could only assume the woman had hit something. "I know how it looks in hindsight, but at the time, it was an act of trust. I was honestly more concerned they would trip the pre-war security and get hurt." DiMA paused a moment with another, heavy, mechanical sigh. "Giving the Children my old home. Letting them safe guard my old memories. I thought our people would be working together."

Chase let out a sigh of her own, "Just how secure are the banks? How long do we have? And what's in them?"

DiMA made an exasperated noise, "I've gone over this before, Chase, I don't know what's in them. That's how it works. It's as close to 'Forgetting' as I can get." He admitted tiredly, did robots get tired? "But I've run some projections of...worst case scenarios. If we do nothing...and the wrong knowledge falls into the wrong hands..."

"So send me over there. I can be in an out in a day."

"We can't risk it. They know you're from Acadia, if you're seen or caught it's war."

"We should at least prepare her to go in. Show her how to access the memories in the banks." Faraday pointed out, having been silent till then. Again it was quiet a moment, "Wait...you've been working on this without me?!"

"It came up in a private moment, Chase. But yes, we've been building a program that will allow someone access and download to my memories. It's not like a normal hack, the network will consider you an intruder and try to attack. I've rigged the program to walk you through the whole process. It's a little difficult to explain."

"Get the program. Use it to break into the memory banks. Got it."

"Hopefully you won't have to. We'll keep monitoring the situation. I only want you going in if we have no other options."

Luella glanced at Hancock, the ghoul made a face, knowing without words what the raven was likely thinking. And he voiced his opinion all the way up the stairs several minutes later, "You can't be seriously considering this! If we're caught we're fucking dead darling! I really doubt we'll get as lucky as we did in the crater!"

The smaller of the pair didn't answer at first, determination in her eyes as she rounded the corner and marched toward DiMA's main area. John put himself in front of her, grabbing her shoulders, "Luella please re-think this! Those Children of Atom are insane at best and they already nearly killed you once!"

She let out a small sigh, looking away from Hancock's dark eyes, "I can't just walk away John...People need our help. And I...I want to understand what I am."

"Your Luella! Leader of the Minuteman and the love of my goddamn life! Isn't that enough?!" John pleaded with her, searching her face, before finally letting out a frustrated noise. As much as he hated the idea of her putting herself in this much danger he knew they couldn't walk away without guilt, he couldn't walk away without it. "Fine...Fine we'll do this. But you have to promise to stay next to me the whole time! Don't go rogue like you did in the Sea, alright?"

The raven smiled faintly, sorrow in her eyes that was deeper and more endless than the ocean the color resembled, "John, I never want to be away from you. But I can't promise anything if I think your going to get hurt, you know that."

"And your crazy, ya know that? I've survived a lot of shit over the years, I can handle my own ass love." The ghoul mock scoffed, before smirking, showing her he wasn't upset. "Right, might I remind you what happened in Goodneighbor while I was gone?" John's jaw dropped, "Hey, that wasn't my fault!"

Luella giggled and leaned up to place a soft kiss to his rough cheek, "I know. Come on, we have an island to save." The ghoul rolled his black eyes, smiling as he took her hand a moment, walking beside her. "Don't forget finding out about yourself darling." The raven's blue eyes widened a moment, looking up at the ghoulish man, star struck. Smiling again, she walked into DiMA's large observatory.

The Synth lifted his eyes curiously when they approached, their conversation was short and to the point, Luella didn’t want him trying to convince her she was something other than what she was again. It had been unnerving and uncomfortable last time. After a quick walk through what and where to go and how to run the program the pair set off into the island’s fog once more...praying this would not be as terrible a mission as it felt.

It was a full three mile walk to where the Nucleus was located on the edge of a swamp, the radiation was stronger here, the fog twice as thick and much harder to navigate without some kind of light. At least it was for Hancock, Luella seemed to be having no trouble at all. However the glow in her eyes was so bright at this point it was like she was a human flashlight and speech seemed to fall into simple noises rather than her holding up conversation, leaving John worried for her mental and physical health in the presence of so many rads. “Love, maybe you should down some Rad-Away?” He suggest, relieved when she stopped and stared at him a moment, looking like a dog being issued a command and debating on doing as it was told.

At last the raven nodded, taking the offered I.V bag and popping the cap off the end the tube would have gone into, drinking the sickly green yellow stuff down without taking a breath till it was empty. She shuddered, tossing the emptied bag aside with a grimace, “Better?”

“Yeah, for now...Sorry.”

“I’m starting to think this is more a hazard than it's worth darling.”

Luella sighed as they moved on, twitching once and awhile when they passed through a particularly radioactive patch of fog, rolling her shoulders in a way that told him she was trying harder to fight off whatever this was that affected her. Hancock took better notice of the way her eyes darted about, like she indeed was seeing something he wasn’t. He wondered how much of it was in her head and how much was real, was there really a world she was seeing thanks to the rads? Or were the rads destroying her mind like he feared?

Sometime later they arrived at their destination, located on a radioactive lake. The Nucleus was a large, well guarded bunker, well they assumed it was large. From the outside it didn’t appear to be much of anything at all, surrounded by makeshift battlements and banners that proclaimed it a haven for those who followed Atom. Luella was a mess by the time they reached the entrance, something seeming to be going on, people arguing about faith or some such nonsense. The shorter of the pair arriving was more concerned with downing another Rad-Away while everyone was distracted, shuddering at the awful taste before discarding the bag in the bushes. Just in time for one of the zealots to shoot the other who had been pleading for the man observing them to have sanity.

Luella stiffened at the display, blue eyes wide, these people were clearly far worse than those of the crater. She would need to tread lightly. Approaching the man in armor, who stood between two others bearing arms, she kept a guarded expression. “What brings an outsiders to our midst?” The man asked of them, raising a brow over sickly looking eyes. The raven woman glanced warily at John and then back, “We wanted to join up, we’re curious of your...ah...teachings.” She winced inwardly at how stupid she sounded, but was relieved to find the man seemed not to notice. “Are you now? Well it’s not as simple as just joining up. You need to prove your worth. Do you wish to take the trail of Atom?”

_ ‘A trial? Fucking hell…’ _ The woman thought, sighing inwardly, “Yes, sure. What’s the trial?” She replied with a small smile, though it was forced anyone who didn’t know her well would be easily fooled into thinking it was a friendly look. John knew it was a look of discomfort. “There is a spring not far from here. Drink from it and then return here afterward, tell me what Atom shows you.”

“Erm, alright.” Confused and wary, the pair left for the spring. Luella downed more Rad-away just in case, as well as some rad-x. John said nothing all the way there, not until they stood on the stepping stones leading to the trickling spring did he let out a noise of disapproval, “You have to be kidding! That’s pure radiation spewing out of there! It’ll kill you!”

The raven swallowed thickly, looking up at the yellow water spilling down the rocks in front of her, “Maybe not...I mean...if he wanted us dead he would have just shot us right?”

“Luella don’t…”

She bit her lip, glancing over her shoulder at the ghoul, seeing the concern in his dark eyes that faintly glowed silver. Luella almost wanted to cry, she wanted to do as he asked. Just walk away from this mess and not look back. But if she did that she might never know anything about herself. About that strange voice or how she became stronger when exposed to rads. “I love you John…”

For a moment Hancock was confused, fumbling for words, maybe the rads were affecting him too? “I love you too darlin’ but-WAIT!” He was a second too late, she had already cupped the stuff in her hands and drank it down by the time he realized. Oh yeah, he was being affected, his reaction time was badly slowed down. Cursing, he caught her when she swayed dangerously, wrapping his arms around her protectively. The raven shook softly in his hold, trembling and shuddering, her skin looking flushed and her eyes even brighter than ever. “Fuck fuck! R-rad-away! D-drink some Rad-away!”

Luella couldn’t make out John’s voice, it was just a muffled mess, a bit like when she had been in a coma awhile back. Swallowing the burning in her throat, she turned her blue eyes to movement near them. Before her stood a ghostly black figure of a woman in tattered robes, holding out a hand and motioning for the pair to follow, words drifting eerily through the forest air.  **_~Foll….ow...me...Foll...ow...me…~_ **

With some difficulty the raven woman got to her feet, stumbling after the being hastily when it ran from her, “Wait…!” She cried in vain, watching as the being remained constantly in sight but ever out of her reach. The raven could just make out John’s footsteps chasing after her, his muffled voice trying to reach her.

The shadow lead her through dense forest and along broken old roads, past large beast that just watched her go by. Not a single thing attacked either he or John. And finally the being stopped before an old bunker and pointed, saying nothing more. Luella turned her eyes to it, vision seeming hazy like she was high on something good. And then with a gasp the feeling left her. Like she was slammed back into the real world and was left panting in the wake of a hell of a hit. “Holy fuck…” She gasped out as John at last caught up to her, grabbing her shoulders, “The hell?! Are you okay!? You just fucking ran off!”

The raven took in a shuddering breath and nodded, “I...I saw a woman...she wanted me to follow her here.” She answered softly, looking to the bunker again. Hancock gave her a wary look, before finally nodding. He was finding it hard to believe. Was worried this shit was going to permanently damage her mind. But he dutifully followed her into the bunker where they discovered a strange statue of a woman that Luella picked up, deciding to take it back to show the zealots.

She had stood there a long time in a daze staring at it, eyes distant and again John grew fiercely worried for her. After downing more rad-away they set off back to the Nucleus.

_ A few days later... _

Luella yawned softly, turning over on the small sleeping bag she shared with John...only to notice something was missing. Rather someone was missing. Frowning deeply, the raven sat up, rubbing her eyes tiredly. "John?" She mumbled quietly, looking about the small, makeshift tent for the ghoul. Cautiously she got up, sticking her head outside in search of him, presuming he had got up to smoke or something or that nature.

Somewhere, in the back of her mind, a tiny voice whispered otherwise. Getting out of the tent completely she looked around their small campsite, situated just meters from where the Nucleus was, in a safe little alcove of a cave. The raven twitched a little, doing her best to ignore the radioactive fog that seemed ever present everywhere on the island, neon eyes searching the morning semi-darkness for her companion. "John? Where are you?" She called out as loudly as she dared, retrieving her shot gun from the tent when he still didn't answer, getting worried now that something was very wrong. "...John...?" Hurriedly she shouldered her bag, and his when she noticed it was still in their tent, not bothering with the tent itself in her haste.

The raven checked the immediate area for the ghoul mayor, finding nothing at first, panic began setting in with the worry. "John?!" Luella called out, making her way toward the Nucleus, praying he must have gone there for some reason or other. Maybe just to get breakfast, have a chat with the crazies?! Surely he hadn't just wandered off or...or something might have grabbed him. He could be hurt! Or...Or...No, she couldn't bare thinking that. He was safe. He had to be!

The raven was running so fast toward the old submarine base she nearly missed the tattered hat laying in her path, backtracking to see it lying just off to the side from the worn dirt walkway. Trembling fingers reached out, picking up the familiar tricorn hat, unable to pull breath into her lungs at all. "John....J-john....?! JOHN?! Can you hear me?! Where are you?!" She screamed, clutching the hat, making her way toward the Nucleus once more, several of the zealots meeting her at the entrance. Likely drawn by her shouting.

"Sister Smith? What is the problem?" One of them asked, Grand Zealot Richtor, looking neither like he cared or was shocked to see her upset. She paid this no mind at first, "John! He's missing! I woke up this morning and he was gone! I found his hat on the path just now, please?! Have you seen him?" The man crossed his arms, shaking his head, "I have not...." He replied, giving her a stern sort of look, "Perhaps this is a sign from Atom."

Luella blinked at him, fingers twitching on the rim of the tricorn grasped tightly in her hands, tears clinging to the corners of her eyes. "What...did you say?" She asked the question very quietly, a few of the worshipers around them seemed to take quick notice to the dangerous air building around the small raven, the hatred lighting in her eyes like a raider spotting pray.

"He is clearly a distraction for you. As a chosen of Atom you should be committing yourself to the cause, to spreading his holy word." Richtor informed her, spreading his arms wide as if to emphasize his point. Luella saw red creeping into the edges of her vision, felt the burning of the rads on her skin like fingers clawing at her, hands shaking. "What did...you do to....John...?"

Again her voice was quiet, dangerously soft and lacking emotion on the surface, but the threat under the words was all too tangible. The rest of the Atom followers backed away, one rushing inside to presumably alert the High Confessor something was going down. The man before her seemed oblivious, "I do not know of what you speak."

Luella lifted her eyes to meet his, glowing neon burning like small suns, "Liar..."

"Excuse me? I am no such-OOF!" The raven sailed into the man from a stand still, tackling the guy easily despite being half his size and him in power armor, her hands wrapping around his burly throat and choking the life from him like a crazed animal. "WHERE IS HE?! WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM!!!??" The smaller of the two shouted, eyes glowing like an atom bomb had exploded behind them, fingers tightening around the man thrashing beneath her. Uselessly he clawed at her arms, grabbed her wrists and tried in vain to pull her off. Finally Luella let go, getting to her feet with a vicious noise and kicking the large man, lifting her glowing eyes to the High Confessor who gave her a guarded look. "What seems to be the problem sister?"

"Where is he? I know you've done something to Hancock and so help me if he's harmed you will regret it!"

Tektus made no reply and didn't seem at all bothered by the very clear threat, as if he thought she wouldn't go through with it or something. The raven grit her teeth, moving to go passed him, check inside. No surprise she was stopped by several armed guards, only solidifying her suspicions they had done something to her friend. Backing up, she turned again to the High Confessor, a smile spreading across her lips, one that promised wrath. "You've said yourself Tektus...that Atom is not a being to be trifled with. You wanted to know, before, when I brought you the statue whether it was possible I was chosen...?" Tektus raised a brow under his oddly shaped crown, looking interested now, but sweat beaded his brow. He was nervous. "I've seen him...this Atom you claim to worship. He warned me about you...about how your leading his followers to ruin on this island...He told me when he gave me the statue at his shrine in the swamp."

"Impossible! Atom has spoken to not but the elders many a year ago! How is it a mere child could see him?!"

The raven cocked her head, looking almost smug, "Look into my eyes Tektus and tell me what you think? Am I his chosen vessel? Or just an unlucky pawn to his madness?" Luella's expression turned grim, "Either way, you've been warned. John Hancock had best turn up in Far Harbor within the fortnight or may Atom have mercy upon your bastard soul Tektus."


	20. Nights Get Cold

She paced back and forth near the entrance to the haul, looking just a bit too trigger happy. Avery had asked her at least once what the issue was, which she quietly explained to the towns captain. The woman had frowned and only wished her luck. For the past three days she had remained there, with no word. Not sleeping, not eating, she was a mess. Her eyes glowing dangerously from being out in the elements so long. “Hey! Kid!” The raven whirled around, relief and tears filling her eyes when she spots Nick and some of her Minutemen coming up the main street from the docks. The two embrace, meeting halfway, “Nicky...Oh my god…” She couldn’t get the words out, trying to contain herself as best she could.

He could tell, even before arriving, she was extremely upset. After receiving a short transmission from the island requesting his help, that it was urgent and to bring some volunteers ready for a fight. “Kid, calm down and breath. Tell me what’s going on? Where’s Hancock?” That was the wrong question, the raven general let out a vicious noise, animal like. He noticed the intense glow in her eyes, had she been exposed to a lot of rads?! Worry filled him as he reached in his pack and made her down a rad-away quickly, guiding her to sit on a crate, “Come on Kid, ya gotta talk to me!”

“It’s...It’s John!” She managed to get out at last, looking so close to breaking or shooting someone, “Th-they took him! They took him Nick! They refuse to give him back or let me see him!” She tried to explain, piecing together discoherent bits of information. “They have him in the Nucleus! I-I don’t even know if...if he’s...oh god…” Luella gripped at the sides of her head, her men cringed behind Nick at the sight. He had told them in advance something was probably really wrong, but none of them had ever seen her such a mess. One of them was none other than Marcy Long, she had volunteered the moment she heard the General was in trouble. She turned to the others, “Alright! The General needs us! Spread out and gather what information you can on this ‘Nucleus’ place and lets make a battle plan! Thompson, your in charge of weapons and ammo!”

“Yes Ma’am!”

The others all saluted and did as told, Marcy turned to Luella and Nick, “Don’t worry General, we’ll get the Mayor back!” The ghoulish woman gazed at the other with a newfound respect, nodding slowly. Marcy went off after this, leaving Luella alone with Nick. The synth looked at her with concern, “Whens the last time you ate or slept?” He asked, seemingly out of the blue, but he knew her well enough. And frowned deeply when she paused, taking slow breaths and tried to recall. “I...The night before John was taken. We had squirrel bits…” She finally answered, shaking her head a little, “Um...that’s..that’s been about three or four days I think.” The detective visibly cringed, “Kid ya gotta eat something at the very least, if you expect a fight your going to need your strength.” She nodded at last, letting him go to find her something to eat, though she was honestly not hungry. Sighing heavily, she pulled her knees up a moment, face in her hands. This was a huge mess. 

She stayed like this sometime, before a sound caught her ears, it didn’t fit with the usual sound of the town and ocean near it. Whistling. Lifting her head she looked around, slowly getting up and following the sound, the tune sounded so...familiar. Out past the gates she spotted a figure, standing just within the fog...wearing red. Not just any red either, but that familiar shade of aged red. The familiar shape of the colonial coat. The raven choked, moving toward it thoughtlessly. “JOHN!” She called out, giving chase as the figure started off into the dense fog of the island. Behind her Nick had noticed her move, had followed her this time, calling after her. “Kid! Wait!” He managed to keep pace with the surprisingly fast woman, following her through the rads, the sun just low enough to cast everything in an eerie glow. 

The figure lead them out to the old town ruins and up to what must have once been a hotel, inside it was littered with ferals. The figure always seemed to be waiting just around corners for them, leading them on. Deeper and deeper into the building. Finally it vanished, leaving them in a large room with only one elevator that worked. Nicky turned to Luella as she leaned on her knees panting heavily, both covered in dead feral blood and grime, “You think he took the elevator?” The synth asked, waiting for her to recover better. 

She wiped the sweat from her brow on her sleeve, lifting glowing blue eyes, “I am…” Taking a deep breath, she rushed into it with the detective at her side, slamming the down button. Silence surrounded them a long time, before Nick dared speak again. “You know that it's not him…” The raven didn’t answer at first, glaring at the metal doors and glancing at the numbers above it as they descended. Shadows around her glowing eyes, “I know...but he has John’s coat...which means he might know where he is.”

Nick frowned deeply as the door opened, pipe pistol at the ready, “Just be prepared if this turns sour kid. Ain’t no guarantee we’re going to find him.” She didn’t answer as she took the lead, Gauss Rifle at the ready and fully charged. It was a lovely weapon, John had bought it for her not long after they had managed to gain the trust of those damned Atom. Had even etched her named into the metal himself with his knife. Said he wanted her to have something a bit more powerful to protect herself with.

The elevator came out into an old vault that at one point must have looked pretty posh and fancy, the lights were on and the smell of decay and blood met them. Hung heavy in the air. The raven stiff as a board as she kept a wary eye out for the mystery man or any danger. Entering a large room that had once been an elegant theatre, finding overturned furniture and a few destroyed robots lying about on the stained red carpet. Nudging a part of one with her foot, it was squishy and looked fleshy, “Is this...a brain?” She mumbled, cringing visibly. Wondering what kind of robots these were.

Both of them jumped when a spot light came on, revealing someone tied to a chair on the stage. They were in a dingy white shirt, black pants and boots. The shirt was stained with blood, some dry and some fresh. Their mouth covered with cloth to prevent them from speaking as they raised black eyes that widened when they saw the pair, suddenly jerking to life, muffled shouting leaving them. Luella felt like she couldn’t breath a moment, instantly recognizing Hancock’s scared features and moving toward the stage. But she stiffened, turning her gun on a figure that came out from behind the stage curtain behind the ghoul to casually stride up to the chair. 

A smile curved the all too familiar tanned face, green eyes staring out to meet electric blue, red hair wild as ever. The same scar on his chin and across his nose. Dressed in John’s red coat. Luella was frozen, like a radstag in a flashlight, hands shaking unsteadily as she tried to keep her weapon trained on the man. “Nate…?” She breathed the name, Nick standing beside look concerned, “Come on kid! Snap out of it!” He said urgently, hoping to rouse her from her sudden stupor.

“Luella! My darling angel! I’ve been just dying to see you again! I’m so relieved you survived Cambridge!” The man said with a flourish of his arms, moving to the edge of the stage like a performer and leaning down, “Honestly, when Shaun told me he wanted me to take you there and leave you I was distraught! Really I was. But he said it was for the best and after all it’s only natural to trust our son’s judgment!” The man climbed off the stage, ignoring the way Nick told him not to move, walking right up to Luella as if he was so sure she wasn’t going to shoot him and so far she didn’t. She appeared to be shell shocked. The gauss rifle clattering to the floor when he touched it with his hand, Luella letting go like it had burned her, “What’s the matter dear? You look as if you’ve seen a ghost.” He said in a soothing sort of voice, reaching toward her.

But blue eyes flicked to the stage, seeing John’s familiar black staring at her. Wide and fearful. Something about the image slamming her back into reality as she flinched back from the Nate look alike with a distressed sound. Almost falling as she clambered to get away when he tried to grab her, running past him, ducking from his reach a second time and vaulting up onto the stage. Skidding across the semi-smooth surface and crouching there like an animal. She stood between him and Nate, clearly protecting the ghoul. Looking wild, blue eyes bright and aware. 

The redhead looked unamused, glancing to his left as Nick aimed his pistol at his head, “Don’t move dirtbag.” The clone smirked, “N1-00 recall code, disengage, Alpha.” Nick stilled and then fell over. Like any other synth. Luella screamed out in fury and anguish, wanting to run to her friend, but fearing leaving the ghoul behind her unguarded as Nate came closer to them. “Calm down Luella. No one has to get hurt. It’s better this way, don’t you see?” He tried to coax her to calm down, but it wasn’t doing him any good, “I’ve not hurt him. He’ll wake up in an hour and be right as rain!” The redhead smiled in a way that had once calmed the girl, but now only made her all the more nervous. The raven’s eyes darting between Nate and Nick, body wavering back and forth.

“What the hell do you want from me?!” She found herself screaming at him finally as he stayed still, didn’t try to climb onto the stage or make a move more toward her. He could see she was unstable right then, that she could strike him even like this and do a lot of damage if she wanted. “I realize I’ve gone about all this in a way that’s upset you, but really it’s his fault!” He pointed at John, looking exasperated, “I approached him days ago wanting to simply get to know the man who's taken my wife's heart. After all I feel like I have a right to know. Shaun just wants us to be family again.” He reasoned as he went about explaining, “But he got hostile and one thing lead to another and I brought him here! I never meant to upset you so much, really. I know how clingy you can be. But have no fear, we’re going to head back to the Institute and get both of you fixed up right!” 

Luella was shaking her head, backing closer to John, feeling his comforting heat at her back as she crouched near him. Eyes wide and wild as Nate drew closer again, “Oh no! No no, don’t be scared Luella...no one’s going to hurt either of you...just try to relax.” The redhead said in a soothing way, though the raven was far from being soothed. His hands outstretched like he was dealing with a frightened stray, making little noise at her that he thought would help. Luella was shaking her head and pushing herself closer to the ghoul still trying to shout around his gag. “No...no no! Please Nate...Don’t…!”

But it was too late, he mumbled something. There was a blinding flash...and they stood in that room at the beginning of the Institute. Luella was screaming at the top of her lungs in panic, breathing erratic as several people came in, fighting to get away from them as they moved to grab her and John. The raven didn’t even feel the needle being inserted into her arm, only felt the effects of the chem as her mind clouded. Fought against the drowsy feeling, the fatigue from the last days slamming into her hard with the chemical aid. “JOHN!” The last thing she saw before blacking out was the scientists wrestling Hancock from the chair and pushing a needle into his neck, before latching what looked like a collar around his neck.

Hours later John awoke, feeling heavy and groggy from whatever chem thay had forced on him. Muttering a curse as he got up slowly, rubbing his neck, but stilling when his fingers met metal. Cursing he grabbed at it, realizing it was a collar of some kind. He tried to get it off, but his scared fingers couldn’t find a clasp anywhere. A cold chill was in the air and a shudder washed over him, when he looked down he realized why. He had been stripped of his usual clothes and instead been redressed in simple white shorts that fell just to his knees, a plain, short sleeved t-shirt and no shoes. Looking around he found himself in a large white room, only a bench and himself, which he had been laying on, and a big window that made one wall. 

A sick feeling curdled his stomach when he realized it was an observation cell, spotting two people dressed in white hazmat like suits standing outside, looking at electronic charts and talking among themselves. He couldn’t hear them, but knew they must be talking about him. A growl left him as he got up and moved toward them, slamming a fist on the glass, “HEY! Assholes! Where’s Luella! HUH?! ANSWER ME?!” The two jumped and stepped back, obvious afraid of him. One of them rushed off out of sight and it was several moments of him screaming at the other before the first returned with an elderly looking fellow. Dressed in white like everyone else. What was with these people and white?

The man regarded the angry ghoul a moment, before motioning to one of the two with him. One of them walked to a wall, pushed some things and then the man began to speak. His voice echoing in the cell. “Greetings. I am known as Father. I welcome you to the Institute!” He said in a semi-false cheerful tone, smiling at Hancock who growled, “Some welcome! Lock up all your guests like this?” The man shook his head, “My apologies, I know its not comfortable, but we needed to be certain that the radiation you emit as a ghoul wasn’t of a dangerous level. Given the people here have never been exposed and all. You understand.” John narrowed his eyes, watching as the window as lifted up to allow him out. He didn't move at first, not trusting the man at all.  _ ‘So this bastard is her son?!’ _ The ghoul thought with a small sneer, quietly thinking the man looked almost nothing like his mother. “And the collar?”

“Ah, yes. That is simply to monitor vitals and radiation levels. We’re curious whither emotional stimulus changes them. You are, after all, the first living ghoul we’ve brought here. It’s an opportune moment to do a bit of study.” Shaun explained, motioning Hancock to follow him. The ghoul was clearly suspicious, but did so. What choice did he have? At least the man seemed friendly enough, so far. “And if I don’t want to be studied? I’m not a fucking lab rat.”

Shaun made a face, before smiling again, “Please refrain from using such harsh language. And as I said, I know it’s not ideal. Please just bare with us.” He replied, looking ahead as they walked out into a large atrium and he was lead into another area, ascending some stairs. Several people ogled at him, interested or just disgusted. It varied with each they passed. The children seemed especially interested. “After all. I need to be sure your no threat to these people...nor mother.”

At this John growled again, “I wouldn’t hurt them unless they threatened me first, I’m not an animal!” He bit out angrily, “And I would never dream of harming Luella!” Shaun nodded, seeming satisfied with the answer as he lead him through a sliding door, stopping at another and putting something into a keypad. Most likely a password. The door opened to reveal another observation room and cell, but this one was slightly smaller. The cell had a bench like his and nothing more. But in a corner he spotted something half hidden by the bench, dressed in white. Her hair was the only thing that stood out. She was so pale, shaking like a leaf. The ghoul sucked in a breath, rushing up to the glass and pounding on it to get her attention, “Luella! LUELLA!!!”

In the cell she could make out the muffled noises of pounding, but curled into a tighter ball. Scared to move. She was surrounded by that chemical smell, the isolation, all of  it dredging up her worst memories. The hiss of the speakers in the room made her jerk, but she still didn’t lift her head. Just cowered there. “Mother, please, you need to show me your feeling better or I can’t let you out. You did attack two doctors after waking earlier. Really I don’t want to-”

“Of course she attacked them! She’s fucking terrified of you people, can’t you see that?!”

That voice made her head shoot up, tears clinging to her lashes as she spotted the ghoul, a choked noise bubbling up in her throat. Clambering to get up she fell at least twice trying to get at the glass, the dress she was wearing just a bit long. Shaun seemed mildly surprised how quick a reaction the man had gotten from her, given he himself had been trying for hours to get her to respond to him but had only gotten the cold shoulder. He quietly took note of this in his head, deciding to write the observation down for later. John on the other hand let out a relieved sigh to see her moving, putting his hands to the glass where hers were, watching the way her eyes were glowing brighter than ever and worrying about the rads she must have taken in during his absence. She otherwise seemed unharmed at least, but adrenaline could be causing her to seem that way too. Hancock had seen as much before, she could be hiding much worse injuries.

A worried feeling twisted his gut as he looked over at Shaun, did he dare trust the man with this? Did he even have a choice? No...no to both of those. But Luella’s health was more important. “She needs rad-away.” He said suddenly, watching out of the corner of his eyes as she stiffened, looking scared. Shaun raised a brow, looking to one of the scientist who had undoubtedly followed them and nodded. The hazmat wearing figure opened a panel in a wall, revealing all kinds of medical things, retrieving a bag of rad-away and IV gear. 

The glass started lifting up and for a split second John thought Luella might bolt, but she launched herself at him, grabbing his hands in a vice like grip. He flinched at how cold hers were, like she had bathed in ice. And when he got a good look he realized how ill she looked. He couldn’t understand her as she babbled something to him in what sounded like a different language, tugging on him to follow her which he did a few feet, holding onto her hands. Finally he stopped, stopping her too. She turned wide, terrified eyes on him, “Ya gotta calm down Luella…” He was surprised when she pulled from him, looking scared of him now as she curled into a corner of the room, “Y-your not...a-are you a synth?!” She asked on a small, choked sound, cowering from him as he drew closer to her. Feeling his heart aching at the sight. He understood her fear, he’d think the same in her shoes. Getting close enough, he whispered as softly as he could so only she could hear him, “Lydia...please...I’m not a synth...ask me anything love...anything you want to, if it’ll help you to believe me.” She stared at him, tears falling slow down slightly flushed cheeks. “The name of the first person I met in Goodneighbor.”

“Finn”

“Your second in commands name.”

“Fahrenheit.”

She nibbled her lip hard, trying to think of more, “The name of the song that played in the Third Rail the night we first danced.” He blinked at her, feeling suddenly nervous, he actually didn’t know that one. Had never known the name of that song, that night had been the first he had heard it and given the chaos after hadn’t even gotten to ask. “I...I don’t know its name…” He saw the sorrow in her eyes, before he managed to take her hands, “Wait! Please...I know the words though…” He told her, clearing his voice as he tried to sing them to her, “Mother Earth and Father time...fell in love over Appalachian wine…” John coughed a little, feeling his face heat up a little. She seemed to relax a tiny bit though, but it lasted only a second before Shaun spoke up finally.

“Mother, I can assure you we have not made a synth of your...erm, friend. Please, we need to give you the rad-away and then you can rest in your rooms. I imagine all this chaos has made you very tired.”

Luella was stiff as a board, watching warily as the scientist came toward them. The raven automatically trying to scoot away, hide behind John as much as possible. The ghoul swallowed a little, trying to figure out what to do. He could guess why she was apprehensive, but knew she really needed to stuff. Though if he was honest he was wary of using what they had as well. But as it stood they had little choice, so in an attempt to ease he mind he reach out to take the stuff, trying not to take offense when the guy jerked back in obvious fright. “I ain’t gonna bite. Just let me give it to her, she trusts me. She isn't going to let a weirdo in a lab suit get anywhere near her without a fight.” He pointed out with a sigh, watching as the guy looked to Shaun for help. Father seemed to consider the other mans words, before at last nodding, “Let him do as he asks. As it stands it’s fairly clear there are a lot of trust issue to work through with my mother. For now we’ll all just have to work together, lest her health decline.”

John raised a brow, wondering what the man meant by ‘decline’? Was she sick and he didn’t know? Or was Shaun simply worried she might get sick? Was he aware of last time? Taking the rad-away bag, he uncapped the top, much to the scientists displeasure as the man started to say how that was not the proper way to administer the drug. But the ghoul ignored him, quietly coaxing Luella into drinking the stuff down. Relieved when she finally did, watching the glow in her eyes dim to a slightly more normal level. 

The raven relaxed a little, letting out a shaky sigh. “Better?” Hancock asked with a slight smile, getting a little one back as the girl nodded. “Yeah, a bit. I feel a little more human at least.” They shared a soft laugh together, before he helped her stand, noting the way her eyes shot to the collar around his throat. “Well, now that your feeling better mother, perhaps we can sit and talk over a nice meal. I had something made, its up in my rooms. There’s plenty for all of us.” The elderly man smiled in a friendly way, but the raven seemed apprehensive. Though she was smiling, John could see she was upset. All along the walk up to the third floor she kept glancing at the collar, eyes swimming in worry and guilt. He wanted to reassure her, but really couldn’t. He wasn’t even sure of the thing himself. When they reached Father’s rooms Luella stiffened up again, instantly going on the defensive as she stepped a little in front of John. The ghoul was confused for all of a second before he spotted the reason for her sudden actions. That man from before. The one who looked like…”Nate…” The raven all but growled the name under her breath as the redhead smiled, walking a little closer. He bowed his head to Father, before looking to them, his smile faltering.

Shaun took notice of his mothers discomfort, smiling as evenly as he could. “Mother, please, I wanted to properly introduce you to N8-27. He was assigned to keep an eye on you, er, before you actually found us of course.” The elderly man explained, stiffening when the raven turned an angry gaze on him. The ghoul behind her looking just as angry. “What?!” She growled, “Was he assigned to try and kill me in Cambridge too? Huh?”

Father put his hands behind his back, seeming not to be worried at all, “That was just a simple experiment, nothing more. We were hoping the rads might help in jogging your lost memory after Kellog’s little mess up.”

“I’M NOT ONE OF YOUR LAB RATS!” Luella screamed at the man, losing her temper. “I’M A FUCKING HUMAN BEING!” She was seething, didn’t notice the Coursers that had appeared behind her and John, but the ghoul did. Taking a protective stance to watch her back. “Sister you might want to calm down...we ain’t exactly got the advantage here.” He whispered over his shoulder at her, but she didn’t seem to hear him. “Mother I just wanted to be sure you were strong enough, I realise it wasn’t pleasant, but it was the only way.”

“Strong enough for what?! I just wanted to live in peace! I just wanted to raise a family and have a normal fucking life!” The raven was shaking slightly, “But instead I lost Nate and I lost you. I lost myself. My home. Everything!” She shook her head, trying to ignore the tears in her own blue eyes, “I’ve scraped and fought to get even a tiny bit of normality back. I found a new home for myself, a new place that I was actually happy in! And...and you ruined it! And you keep ruining it...You keep making it worse and worse! I wanted to find you because I wanted my son back...my baby...and all I got was a monster who has no respect for his fellow man nor his own creations!” 

She lifted burning blue eyes on Shaun, “And your totally blind to that, aren’t you? You can’t even see the damage you do. It’s all just experiments and results to you. Not once thinking about how much you hurt others.”

The elderly man stared at her, expression neutral for a long time, before he nodded slowly. “I am...sorry. I know that must be how it looks. But I assure you I have not done any of this to make you miserable mother.” He explained, “The truth is I was testing you because...well...I am dying mother.” Shaun told her, letting out a long sigh. Looking sad and forlorn.

Luella stilled, eyes wide in disbelief. “What?”

“I have been quiet sick a long time now and I needed to find someone strong enough to succeed me. And who better than my mother? I was hoping I might have time to gain your trust and convince you to run the Institute in my stead. You would be allowed to run it as you will. My only request is that you keep my people alive.” He put a hand on N8’s shoulder, “I made N8 as a gift for you. I knew the lose of my father must have been hard and thought perhaps he could ease your grief. I did not expect to have the opposite effect.”

“But...why have him attack Hancock in Far Harbor?” 

“Well...To be honest that wasn’t planned. I had no knowledge of this until N8-27 returned with both of you. I fear he has a few ‘character’ fails that need working out.” Shaun replied with another sigh, shooting the synth a slightly angry look, before looking at Luella again. “Though I must say I was surprised to hear how you defended this...erm…”

“Man. Ghouls are people too, Shaun. Just a little different than the rest.” The raven crossed her arms over her chest tightly, relaxing a little, not nearly as angry as she was. “And your just going to have to get used to him. Hancock is my best friend and if it wasn’t for him I’d be dead several times over.” She shot a little smile to the ghoul, who gave a wary one back. The raven heaved a sigh, “As for running the Institute...I...I don’t know if I’m really the right person Shaun. Our views are pretty different and I seriously doubt your people are going to like someone like me in charge.”

“But that’s just it, their views need to be changed! If we are to ever truly thrive we need to learn to work better with those above ground.” Shaun explained to her, before motioning her to follow him, “Come, we can discuss it further over our meal.” She hesitated a moment, shooting a look at N8, distrustful of him. He just gave her a small smile, eyes unreadable, before walking away to sit with Father. Heaving a shaky breath she felt a warm hand on her shoulder and knew it was John, though he didn’t smell as much like he usually did. She had a feeling it was because he no longer had his usual clothes. Glancing back, she again noted the collar, a worried look in her eyes before finally turning to follow Shaun. 

In the next room a decent size, square table was set up, with each of them a glass and a tray of odd looking ‘food’. Which was really just that paste stuff they ate down here. The raven sat down, John sitting across from her only because he had no choice. It was the only space open. It was silent a few minutes while Shaun and the synth each started eating, but neither herself nor Hancock touched the meal. Clearly uncomfortable. Father eventually took notice and wiped his mouth on a napkin, smiling at his mother, “Please, eat. It’s specially made to give the optimum vitamins and minerals the body needs.”

John stuck his fork in the stuff, grimacing a bit when it jiggled, “Just looks like mush to me. Don’t you guys eat meat and veggies down here?” The ghoul looked up at the aged man who shook his head, “I’m afraid not. Most crops of that sort died out ages ago in favor of this sort of fair. Designed to be best for those of us down here. As we lack many things we would once have had above ground. Including animals.” He explained, “In fact the whole of the Institute is designed to be as healthy an environment as possible. From our optimised meals to our artificial sunlight and purified air and water. Sadly we can’t sustain ourselves as we are much longer.”

“Why not?” Luella asked softly, hands folded in her lap as she listened, she still didn’t trust Shaun. But he had sounded at least a little sincere about wanting them to change, so for now she would humor him at least. “We just don’t have enough power. We’ve recently been working on a brand new nuclear generator to make up for what we need, its power would be limitless and we could sustain ourselves for generations!” The raven raised a brow, sensing there was more to this, “But sadly we lack the core component we need. And we can’t simply make one.”

Father turned more toward Luella reaching out to her, holding his hands out as if he hoped she might take them. She hesitated a long time, but finally lifted her hands to do so, fingers shaking slightly. “I need your help mother, my people need your help. I fear you are the only one who can retrieve the component we need.” He told her, saw her starting to pull away both physically and emotionally, but he held tight. “Please? I am begging you, these people need your help. You can save them! You can guide them!”

Luella lowered her head, looking away, “Why me?” Her voice was hardly a whisper as Shaun’s fingers tightened on her hands, “Because you have lived on the surface! You know and understand how it works. You can teach the people here to learn to adapt, we can help each other. My people can offer medicine and foods, new ways to build shelters and defend themselves! And your people can offer us knowledge!” The raven bit her lip, opening her mouth to answer, but she was cut off by Hancock. “That’s an awful lot your asking of one person, y’know? Luella already runs the Minutemen and sees to the livelihood of various settlements, not to mention trying to actually have a life of her own. And your asking her to take on even more. You sure you don’t have anyone else you can ask?”

Father shook his head again, looking a little sad, “I fear my mother is really just the best for the job. There isn’t anyone else I can trust to do this.” Luella frowned deeply, slumping her shoulders. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to help, but Hancock was right, she had her hands full as it was. And convincing the Commonwealth to trust the Institute? That wasn’t going to be easy and would likely lead to her getting killed. Shaun was putting her in a really bad place. “I...I’ll help you get the generator going...but I can’t guarantee the rest Shaun. The Commonwealth is really against you. They don’t trust you because of how secretive you are, of all the people you’ve taken and replaced. They’re going to want someone to blame for those horrible things.” Father seemed to regard her words, nodding a little, “That’s fair. One step at a time. At least with you we have a small fighting chance. I just know we can all work together in unity.” He leaned forward and hugged her awkwardly, before sitting back, smiling a little more realistically. Luella tried to smile back, but it held the stress on her mind. 

Later, once they had finished their little meal, though neither herself or John ate, they were lead to where Luella’s room was. The synth leading them pointing to the room opposite hers, “This room is for you sir. Your things have been cleaned, repaired, and placed inside. And Ma’am the same goes in your room. Have a good evening, someone will be by in the morning to brief you on tomorrow's retrieval mission.” The Synth bowed and walked away, leaving them in the hall alone. Luella took a slow, deep breath, putting her face in her hands. She wanted to scream and sob, but did her best to hold it in. John rubbed her back gently, before slowly pulling her to him, holding her carefully. “Gonna be alright...I’m right here with you.”

“This isn’t fair...Not to you, or anyone else. I-I just wanna disappear!” She whimpered softly, breaking down in the ghouls strong arms, feeling safe there like she didn’t anywhere else in the world. “Sorry love, can’t let ya do that. I’m too selfish.” He smiled sadly, glad she at least tried to laugh through her tears. After awhile she managed to calm down enough to talk again, “Will you...sleep in my room? Please? I don’t want to be apart.” Hancock grinned at her, “Heh, thought you’d never ask. But what if we get caught?”

“I’ll think of something...Please? John I...I can’t be alone this time...I don’t even have anything to keep myself awake.” The ghoul nodded, following her into the too white, over clean room, cringing a little. “Yikes, they don’t believe in color do they…?” The raven gave a nervous laugh at that, already changing out of the horrible dress and back into her above ground clothes, not liking that they were cleaned. Lacked the normal smells she was used to. Though they didn’t look that clean at least. John tried not to let the sight get to him, after all it was only the third time he had seen her nude. But now was not the time for that. When she was clothed again she glanced at him, at the collar, “What is that…?” She asked quietly, having not had the heart to ask Shaun earlier, but planning to tomorrow. John reached up to tug at the thing, frowning, “They said it’s just to monitor my vitals and what not. Something about being sure I don’t give off dangerous rads or some shit. Shaun said he wants to study me since I’m the first ghoul they’ve met.” The raven looked a bit distressed by the news, walking over and examining the thing more closely, looking for a way to remove it no doubt. But unable to find the seams and without a knife couldn’t cut it off. She tugged at it a few times, getting clearly upset over it.

“Ouch! Stop love!” John took her hands in his to still them, looking at the tears building in the blue depths, “It’s fine, we’ll try to get it off tomorrow. Lets just...get some rest, alright?” Luella stared at him a few minutes, before nodding, taking him to where the bed was in the room. Neither slept well, Luella wasn’t the only one restless about being there. But they managed to get at least a little sleep before there came a knock at the door come morning, alerting the pair their brief moment was peace was done. 


End file.
